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Full speech
Health to the lovely Chloë: you must pardon me Miss tris, that I prefer this fair Gentlewoman. Pray thee Hermogenes. Have you a Copy of this Ditty, Sir? It's the name of Horace his Witch, as I remember. Oh, that Horace had stayed still, here. What, mute? Who, Captain Tucca? Yes, if we can invite him along, he shall be Mars. No Lady; but somewhat inclining that way: he is a Herald at Arms. How now, Vulcan! will you be the first Vizard? Look to your wife, Vulcan: Jupiter begins to Court her. A good smart-tongued Goddess; a right Juno. Tibullus, draw you the Indictment then, whilst Ho raze arrests them, on the Statute of Calumny: Mecoenas, and I will take our places here; Lictors, assist him. Thanks be to Jupiter. Oh, they came up easy. Who would have thought, there should have been such a deal of filth in a Poet? Ovid and Tibullus, you may be bold to welcome your Mistress's here. Stay sweet Propertius. Such is the constant ground of virtue still. Why how now Hermogenes? what ailest thou trow? Melancholy! how so? No doubt, his own Humanity will command him so far, to the satisfaction of so fair a beauty; but, rather the ̄ fail, weel all be suitors to him. For honour of this Gentlewoman, to whose house, I know thou mayest be ever welcome. This Gentlewoman is wooing Hermogeues for a song. No, the Ladies must do it, he stays but to have their thanks acknowledged as a debt to his cunning. Oh, this contention is excellent. What is't you sing Sir? The better: Hermogenes himself will be entreated to sing the other. Believe me Sir, you sing most excellently. We shall do this Gentleman's Banquet too much wrong, that stays for us, Ladies: How? to his bright mistress, Canidia? The great God, Jupiter, Of his licentious goodness, Willing to make this Feast, no Fast From any manner of Pleasure; Nor to bind any God or Goddess, To be any thing the more God, or Goddess, for their names: He gives them all free Licence, To speak no wiser, then person ̄ S of baser Titles; And to be nothing better, then continued ̄ mon Men, or Women. And therefore no God Shall needs to keep himself more strictly to his Goddess, Then any man do's to his wife. Nor any Goddess Shall needs to keep herself more strictly to her God, Then any woman do's to her Husband. But, since it is no partly of wisdom, In these days, to come into Bonds; It shall be lawful for every Lover, To break loving oaths, To change their Lovers, & make love to oh the, As the heat of every ones Blood, And the spirit of our Nectar shall inspire. And Jupiter save Jupiter. Happy is Room of all Earth's other States, To have so true, and great a president, For her inferior spirits to imitate, As Caesar is; who adds to the Sun, Influence, and lustre; in increasing thus His inspirations, kindling fire in us. And yet so chased, and tender is his Ear, In suffering in any Syllable to pass, That, he thinks, may become the honoured name Of Issue to his so examined self; That all the lasting fruits of his full merit In his own Poems, he does still distaste: As if his minds Piece, which he strove to paint, Could not with fleshly Pensils have her right. Come, where be these Ladies? By your leave, bright Stars; this Gentleman and I are come to man you to Court: where your late kind Entertainment is now to be re quited with a Heavenly Banquet. No less, my deer, Cytheris. Because (Cytheris) it must be celebrated by the heavenly powers: All the Gods, and Goddesses will be there; to two of which, you two must be exalted. Why, Cytheris, may not Poets (from whose di Vine spirits, all the honours of the Gods have been deduced) in treat so much honour of the Gods, to have their divine presence at a Poëticall Banquet? Who knows not (Cytheris) that the sacred breath of a true Poet, can blow any virtuous Humanity, up to Deity? Horace! Welcome. Stay, Horace. Troth, it's Like enough. This Act of Propertius re lisheth very strange, with me. Oh, excellently spoken, Vulcan, on the sudden! What, do we nod, fellow Gods? found Music, and let us startle our spirits with a song. What says Jupiter? A Song. Tut, you must do't: It'll be noble Mirth. A sign of a windy Brain. He's one, that hath had the Mustering, or Convoy of a Company, now, and then; I never noted him by any other Employment.
Plot summary
Plot — Poetaster, or The Arraignment
Ovid’s father wants him to be a lawyer, but he prefers poetry. He attends an assignation of poets and their loves at Albius’ house. Crispinus, wishing to cuckold the jeweller, observes how taken his wife Chloé is with poets, and determines to become a poet himself. He forces his company on Horace, who escapes when an apothecary tries to arrest Crispinus for debt. Tucca intervenes to save him, and arranges for him to contribute to the controversial play satirizing poets which the players, anxious to attract audiences after a poor winter’s playing season, have hired Demetrius to write. Julia hosts a drunken banquet at court for the poets and ladies, who all dress as gods and goddesses, hiring appropriate props from the players, including a crown and sceptre. Lupus hears about this and, mistakenly believing that treason is plotted, brings the Emperor to interrupt the banquet. Appalled at the poets’ impiety and abuse of their talents, and at his daughter’s wantonness, Augustus banishes Ovid and imprisons Julia. A poetry reading by Virgil is interrupted by Lupus, who thinks he has detected more treason, and is exposed as a fool. Crispinus and Demetrius are tried for defamation of Horace and found guilty. Horace gives Crispinus a purge, and he vomits his obscure vocabulary. 1601 B-Text After the play has finished, two critics visit the author in his study and debate the play’s origins and the controversy over its personal satire; the author proposes that his next play will be a tragedy.