THOMAS

Sir, I do find your prayers Have much much prevailed above my sins. Else certain I had perished with my rudeness, Ere J had wone my self to that discretion I hope you shall hereafter find. Sirrah, you rogue, look for't, for I will make thee Ten times more miserable then thou thoughtest thy self Before thou travelledst: thou hast told my father I know it, and I find it, all my rogueries By mere way of prevention to undo me. But that I must be civil, I would Beatrice thee Like a dog: sir, howsoever The time I have mispent may make you doubtful, Nay, harden your belief against my conversion, Yet deer father Your own experience in my after courses. He did ill in it As he dos all: for I was uttering A handsome speech or two, I have been studying Ere since I came from Paris: how glad to see thee? Ir shall sister, For I can do it when I list: a worser yet wench Be mad too when I please: I have the trick on't. Beware a traveller. Not for the world: but where's my Mistress And prithee say how do's she? I melt to see her, And presently: I must a way. Not see me? I'll. No more of that sweet Doll, I will be civil. Wouldst thou have me loose my birthright? For yond old thing will disinherit me If I grow too demure: good sweet Doll, prithee: Prithee deer sister, let me see her. Nay, I beseech thee: by this light. Kiss me, and be my friend, we two were twins. And shall we now grow strangers? Well, there be other women, and remember You, you were the cause of this: there be more lands too, And better people in they: fare you well, And other loves: what shall become of me And of my vanities, because they grieve you. He lies, that says I do not. If you please: for it must be so. Yes. She is a woman: But he she entertains next for a servant, I shall be bold to quarter. Your patience, May not a man profess his Love? Out, out upon thee. how would you have me write? Begin with my love premised? surely, And by my truly Mistress What sweet content dwells here? Oh good Sir, Remember not those follies: where I have wronged sir, (So much I have now learned to discern my self) My means, and my repentance shall make even, Nor do I think it any imputation To let the law p rswade me. Eight languages, And wither at and old men words? Then take a widow, A good staunch wench, that tith, Thou wast wont to love old women, fat, and flat nosed, And thou wouldst say they kissed Like Flounders, flat All the face over. I am glad on't, And prithee hark. A while Alice. Oh sweet Alice. By heaven. Wee'll go visit It's charity: beside I know she is there: And under visitation I shall see his Will you along? Be sure then I be a civil man: J have sport in hand boys Shall make mirth for a marriage day. Do you think I am mad? you'll give me leave To try her fairly? Why there boy, But where's the sick man? Thou thinkest nothing else. How dost thou Frank? how dost thou boy, bear up man: What, shrink i'th sinews for a little sickness? Deavolo mortem. How Like a Flute thou speakest: o'th mending hand man Gogs boars, I am well, speak Like a man of worship. With these eyes friends, my eyes must never see more. Art not thou man enough too? Thou hast flesh enough about thee: if all that mass Will not maintain a little spirit, hang it, And dry it too for dogs meat: get you gone; I have things of moment in my mind: that door, Keep it as thou wouldst keep thy wife from a Servingman. No more I say: away Same. Oh what is that to you my fool? Oh what is that to you, Pluck in your face you bawling Ass, Or I will break your brow. heigh down, down, a down. A new Ballad, a new, a new. And art thou strong enough? I shall stand nearer Ere I be twelve hours older: ther's my business, She is monstrous subtle Doll. By this light Doll, Nothing but in the way of honesty. If you mean honourably. Fie, fie sir, Now I have promised you this night to marry, Would you be so intemperate? are you a gentleman? Excellent sister, I am glad to see thee well: but where's my father? I'll wash my hands of all you do: farewell Sir. Thou art not mad? What bobd of all sides? Why Doll, why Doll I say: my letter subd too, And no access without I mend my manners? All my designs in Limbo? I will have her, Yes, I will have her, though the devil roar, I am resolved that, if she live above ground, I'll not be bobd i'th nose with every bobtail: I will be civil too: now I think better, Exceeding civil, wondrous finely carried: And yet be mad upon occasion, And stark mad too, and save my land: my father: I'll have my will of him, how ere my wench goes. Exit. I know not sir. Not I sir, I have forgotten those journeys. I am sorry sir, They should employ their time so slenderly, Their understandings will bear better courses. I'll break it yet. Go for a Fiddler then: the poor old Fiddler That says his songs: but first where lies my Mistress, Did you inquire out that? It's the happier: Away then, find this Fiddler, and do not miss me By nine a clock. My father's mad now, And ten to one will disinherit me: I'll put him to his plunge, and yet be merry, What Rybabalde? I do embrace your body: How dost thou Same. And how is't bouncing boys? Oh believe it, I am much altered, much another way: The civilest Gentleman in all your Country: Do not you see me altered? you, and nay Gentlemen, A much converted man: where's the best wine boys? What hast thou made up twenty yet? Look to your skin, Rambaldo the sleeping Giant Will rouse, and rend thee piecemeal. Thou never meanest then To marry any that thou lovest? Thou hast been a precious rogue. What's the matter? Whither go all these men-menders, these Physicians? Whose dog lies sick o'th mulligrubs? Who? young Frank? The only tempered spirit, Scholar, Soldier, Courtier: and all in one piece? it's not possible. Mistress Alice, I joy to see you Lady. And how dost thou? I must know, and I will know. But this word. Let rogues be stayed that have no habitation, A gentleman may wander: fit thee down Frank, And see what I have brought thee: come discover, Open the scene, and let the work appear, A friend at needs you rogue is worth a million. You are and Ass, a twirepipe, A Jeffrey John bo peep, thou mimister, Thou mend a lefthanded packsaddle, out puppy, My friend Frank, but a very foolish fellow: Dost thou see that bottle? view it well. No, no, I have no hope, nor is it fit friends, My life has been so lewd, my lose condition, Which I repent too late, so lamentable, That any thing but curses light upon me, Exorbitant in all my ways. In all my courses, cureless disobedience. No counsel friends, No look before I leapt. To what end gentlemen, when all is perished Upon a wrack, is there a hope remaining? The sea, that never knew sorrow, may be pitiful, My credit's spilled, and sunk, nor is it possible, Were my life lengthened out as long as. I have a virtuous sister, but I scorned her, A Mistress too, a noble gentlewoman, For goodness all outgoing. Why, I shall answer it, you fearful widgen, I shall appear toth' Actium. With any gentlewoman That shall appear at window: you may rehearse too By your commission safely, some sweet parcels Of poetry to a Chambermaid. By no means, no boys, I am the man reserved for air, it's my partly, And if she be not rock, my voice shall reach her: You may record a little, or you may whistle, As time shall minister, but for main singing, Pray you satisfy your selves: away, be careful. Nothing but famine frights thee: come hither Fiddler, Whad Ballads are you seen in best: be short sir. Excellent, Rare matters all. All excellent: No tuning as you love me; let thy Fiddle Speak welch, or any thing that's out of all tune, The vilder still the better, Like thy self, For I presume thy voice will make no trees dance. Keep you to that key, are they all abed trow? I am here Love, tell me deer Love, How I may obtain thy sighed. The love of Greece and it tickled him so, That he devised a way to go. Now sing the Duke of Northumberland. Oh woman: Oh miserable woman, I am spoiled, My leg, my leg, my leg, o both my legs. Oh I am lamed for ever: Oh my leg, Broken in twenty places: Oh take heed, Take heed of women, Fiddler: o a Surgeon, A Surgeon, or I die: o my good people, No charitable people, all despiteful, O what a misery am I in: o my leg. O do not touch it rogue. Oh my leg. O maimed for ever with a fallen, he's spoiled too, I see his brains. O, O. Prithee be quiet, If he play fair play, Come, you must help me presently. Nay I'll go with thee Doll: four hundred a year wench. Exeunt. COme quickly, quickly, quickly, paint me handsomely Take heed my nose be not in grain too, Come Doll, Doll, disen me. As I am a gentleman: Out with this hair Doll, handsomely. I wy' not, that I wy' not. Pray hold sir. Nay then have at you with a counter-spell, From Elves, Hobs and Fairies, that trouble our Dairies, From Fire-drakes and fiends, and such as the devil sends, Defend us heaven. Exi MOre stops yet? sure the fiend's my ghostly father, Old Ʋ alentine: what wind's in his poop? In a Nunnery? That course must not be suffered Master Ʋ alentine, Her mother never knew it: rare sport for me: Sport upon sport, by the break of day I'll meet you, And fear not man, we'll have her out I warrant you, I cannot stay now. By no means. Good night. This thrives well, Every one takes me for my sister, excellent: This Nunnerys fall so pat too, to my figure, Where there be handsome wenches, and they shall know it If once I creep in, ere they get me out again: Stay, hers the house and one of her Maids. Still Mistress Dorothy? this gear will cotton. Where is your Mistress? Yes, I'll comfort her. I warrant thee I'll warm her. A very rogue, a rank rogue. Good night, good night wench. I'll play the Mouse Nan, How close the little thief lies. If it do hang for' Yet isle be quartered here first. I'll kiss thee ere I come to bed: sweet Marry. And view that stormy face, that has so thundered me, A coldne's crept over't now; by your leave, candle, And next door by yours too, so, a pretty, pretty Shall I now look upon you: by this light it moves me. Holy saints, defend me. The devil, devil, devil, devil, Oh the devil. I am abused most damnedly: most beastly, Yet if it be a she devil: But the house is up, And here's no staying longer in this Cassock, Woman, I here disclaim thee; and in vengeance I'll marry with that devil, but isle vex thee. Plague Oh your spanish leather hide; isle waken you: Devil, good night: good night good devil. Roar again, devil, roar again. Ex. Though. I take right sir: Hylas, are you feretting I'll fit you with a pennyworth presently. Faith sir, I do no harm, nor none I look for Yet I am glad, I have met so good a gentleman, Against all chances: for though I never knew you Yet I have herd much good spoke of you, Nay then you love me not. Not without marriage. Get you afore, and stay me at the Chapel, Close by the Nunnery, there you shall find a night Pry Little sir Hugh, and he can say the Matrimony Over without book, for we must have no company Nor light, for fear my father know, which must not yet And then to morrow night. No, not a bit, I am sent of business About my dowry, sweet, do not you spoil all now, It's of muh haste. I can scarce stay the marriage, Now if you love me, get you gone. A rope kiss you, Come, come, I stand o'thornee. Nothing but spirit Aunt. Peace, or I'll conjure too Aunt. That's all one, hers my purpose: Out with this Nun, she is too handsome for you, I'll tell thee (Aunt) and I speak it with tears to thee, If thou keptest her here, as yet I hope thou art wiser, Mark but the mischief follows. Let her be what she will, she will undo thee, Let her but one hour out, as I direct you, Or have among your Nuns again. I'll make more, if I live Wench Nay do not look on me: I care not for you. You are a trusty husband, And a hight lover too. Stay, or I'll make you stay: come hither sister, Peace a little, Thou wouldst feign have a wife? Thou shalt have a wife, & a fruitful wife, for I find Hylas known son again. That I shall never be able to bring thee children. Thou shalt be better Hylas, thou hast 7 hundred pound a year, And thou shalt make her 3 hundred jointure. Thou shalt boy, and shalt bestow Two hundred pound in clothes, look on her, A delicate lusty wench, she has fifteen hundred, And seasible: strike hands, or I'll strike first. Strike, brother, Hylas quickly, Try that out soon, I say, my brother Hylas. No, not a bit, you are a virtuous Lady, And love to live in contemplation. The fool shall not ride you, There lie my woman, now my man again, And now for travel once more. Hold your self contented: for I say I will travel, And so long I will travel, till I find a father That I never knew, and a wife that I never looked for, And a state without expectation, So rest you merry gentlemen. This will not do it, Mistress, Shall we to Church straight? Away then, fair afore. Exeunt. There be as many lives in't, as a Cat carries, It's everlasting liquour. Old Sack boy, Old reverend Sack, which for ought that I can read yet, Was that Philosophers Stone the wise King Ptolomeus Did all his wonders by. Drink with sugar; Which I have ready here, and here a glass boy, Take me without my tools. 'Tis most necessary, Hang up your julips, and your Portugal possets, Your barley broths, and sorrel sops, they are mangy, And breed the scratches only: give me Sack: I wonder where this wench is though: have at thee: Take it off thrice, and then cry heigh Like a Huntsman With a clear heart, and no more fits I warrant thee. The only Cordial Frank. Phis. within, & Serve. And be thou confident, we will deliver thee: For look you Doctor, say the devil were sick now, His horns sawed off and his head bound with a Biggin, Sick of a calenture taken n by a surfeit Of stinking souls at his nephews, and S. Dunstans, What would you minister upon the sudden? Your judgement short and found. No sir, It must be a Physicians for three causes, The first because it is a bald head likely, Which will down easily without apple-pap. So it is, and well considered, The second, for it's filled with broken Greek sir, Which will so tumble in his stomach, Doctor, And work upon the crudities, conceive me The fears, and the fiddle strings within it, That those damned souls must disembogue again. Right sir. Ever. Satis fecisti domine: my last cause, My last is, and not least, most learned Doctors, Because in most Physicians heads (I mean those That are most excellent, and old withal, And angry, though a patient say his prayers, And Paracelsians that do trade with poisons, We have it by tradition of great writers) There is a kind of toadstone bred, whose virtue The Doctor being dried. Meet with the passion Hupercondriaca, And so cause a carnosity in the kidneys. Must not the brains being buttered with this humour Answer me that. And wilt thou be gone says one? Come hither Crab, What gentlewomen are these? my Mistress? Hark you sirrah. No word of my being here, unless she know it. Take that, and mum, then Fit you down good Francis, And not a word of me till you hear from me, And as you find my humour, follow it: You two come hither, and stand close, unseen boys, And do as I shall tutor you. Prithee no more, but help me now, Talk with the gentlewomen? Of what forsooth? whose maidenhead the last mask Suffered impression, or whose clyster wrought best: Take me as I shall tell thee. Your we zell face must needs be ferretting About the farthingale, Do as I bid you, Or by this light. Stand close and mark me, Oh my fortune, But it is just, I be despised and hated. Oh I shall die. Come led me to my Friend to take his farewell, And then what fortune shall befall me, welcome. How do's it show? Where is she. This was thy Rouging. For thou Wertenberg ever whispering: fie upon thee Now could I breeks thy head. Do not anger me, For by this hand isle beat the buzard blind then She shall not escape me thus: farewell for this time, Thou shalt along too, for I mean to plague thee For this nights sins, I will never leave walking of thee Till I have worn thee out. You will not leave me Same. Keep you the back door there, and be sure None of her servants enter, or go out, If any woman pass, she is lawful prize, boys Cut off all convoys. That's as you think good your selves: if you deserve it, Why it's the easiest thing to compass: beaten? What bugbears dwell in thy brains? who should Beatrice thee? Rare still. Come strike up then: and say the Merchant's daughter, We'll bear the burden: proceed to incision Fiddler. Song. Why well I thank you sweet heart, Shall we walk in, for now ther's none to trouble us? Now you are my noble Mistress: we lose time sweet. All, you did wisely. We are well met Mistress. I am made now, I see no venture is in no hand: I have it, How now? the door locked, and she in before? Am I so trimmed? She says most true, I must not stay: she has bobd me, Which if I live, I'll recompense, and shortly, Now for a Ballad to bring me off again. All young men be warned by me, how you do go a wooing. Seek not to climb, for fear you fallen thereby, comes your undoing, & Exeunt. Away knave, You keep a company of saucy fellows Deboshed, & day y drunkards, to deavoure you, Things, whose dull souls, tend to the Cellar only, You are ill advised sir, to commit your credit. 'Tis strange these varlets. Extreme strange, should thus boldly Bud in your sighed, unto your son. I touch Authority you rascal? I violate the Law? Oh strange impudence? I do beseech you sir give no such licence To knaves and drunkards, to abuse your son thus: Be wise in time, and turne'em off: we live sir In a State governed civilly, and soberly Where each men actions should confirm the Law, Not crack, and canzell it. Purge me'em all sir. Even as you please sir. 'Tis most fit sir. At your pleasure. You say right sir. At your dispose: and I beseech you too sir, Fot the word civil, and more settled course It may be put to use, that on the interest Like a poor Gentleman. So much for that then. Will you choose there sir? I have. How, is not seemly here to say. I will: and to the purpose; even with all sir. All surely sir. Her will was fifteen sir, Her husband is recovered. Still hoping of your pardon. Dost thou long to have thy head broke? hold thy peace And do as I would have thee, or by this hand I'll kill thy Parrat, hang up thy small hand, And drink away thy dowry to a penny. And dost thou think Men's wives and children can be abused too much? Nay, thou shalt adjure me Before I have done. Thou shalt not sleep nor eat. Sweet honey Doll, if I do not marry her, Honestly marry her, if I mean not honourably, Come, thou shalt help me, take heed how you vex me, I'll help thee to a husband too, a fine gentleman, I know thou art mad, a tall young man, a brown man, I swear he has his maidenhead, a rich man. Yea and nay Dorothy. I prithee away, thou knowest I am monstrous ticklish, What dost thou think I love to blast my buttocks? On with my Muffler. Plague on't I shall he piss my breeches if I cowre thus, Come, am I ready. None but my fortune, and my self. Exit. Though. What is it Master Valentine? I am sorely troubled With a salt rheum fallen i'my gums. In what a figure The little fool has pulled it self together: Anon you will lie straighter: Would, ther's rare circumstance Belongs to such a treatise: do you tumble, I'll tumble with you straight wench: she sleeps soundly, Full little thinkest thou of thy joy that's coming, The sweet, sweet joy, full little of the kisses, But those unthought of things come ever happiest. How soft the rogue feels? Oye little villain, You delicate coy thief, how I shall thrum you? Your fie away, good servant, as you are a gentleman. I must confess, I have long desired your sighed sir. Dishonest me Not for the world. Within this hour, my sweet chick. Farewell, I'll fit you with a wife, sir. Any thing you'll let me. Nor you no Nun, nor shall not be. I am a holy Fryer. As thine eyes, sweet Abbess, Thus then and persuade her But do not juggle with me, if you do Aunt. Away and fit her. Fill it, and leave your fooling: thou sayest true Frank. From whom boy? Good Lord sir, how are you misled: what fancies (Fitter for idle boys, and drunkards, let me speak't And with a little wonder I beseech you) Choke up your noble judgement? Away then: isle be your guide now, if my man be trusty My spiteful Dame, isle pipe you such a huntsup Shall make you dance a tipvaes: keep close to me. Exeunt. That's no harm sir, Pray God he escapes my herd, there lies the mischief. Then take the odd crown To mend thy old gown.