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Full speech
And a Heart of ten, I trow he be, Madam, or blame your men: For by his Slot, his Entries, and his Port, His Frayings, Fewmets, he does promise sport, And standing before the Dogs; he bears a head, Large, and well beamed: with all rights somm'd, and spread. Scathlock is ready with them on the grounds; So is his brother Scarlet: now they'ave found His Layre, they have him sure within the pound. Oh prime! And never hunted change! None at all; we laid not In one fresh dog. Forked! A Heart of ten. But at his fallen there hap't a chance. Here's Mother Maudlin come to give you thanks, Madam, for some late gift, she hath received— Which she's not worthy of, she says, but crake's, And wonders of it; hops about the house; She daun ceth. Transported with the joy. Rare sport I swear! this hunting of the Witch Will make us. Where shall we hope to find her? Alken re turns. Father, you will see Robin-hoods household, know more Courtesy. I wonder such a story could be told, Of her dire deeds. Crafty Croane! I long to be at the sport, and to report it.
Plot summary
Plot — A Tale of a Tub
Audrey Turf is to be married to John Clay, even though her father has promised her to Squire Tub: she drew Clay in a Valentine’s Eve lottery and her parents are determined that she should marry him on Valentine’s Day. The vicar, Sir Hugh, alerts Tub, and lays a plot to stop the wedding; but also abets Justice Preamble’s scheming to get the girl for himself. Tub’s governor Hilts poses as a servant whose master, Captain Thumbs, was attacked nearby; he has brought Constable Turf orders from the Queen to raise a hue and cry to catch the criminals; moreover, his description of one of them fits Clay, the bridegroom. Turf is obliged to postpone the wedding, and leaves his daughter with Hilts, who hands her over to Tub. Audrey at first thinks herself too low-born to be the Squire’s wife, but is won over by the prospect of social advancement. But before Tub can get her to church, he is arrested by Preamble. The judge leaves Tub with a pursuivant, saying he must return Audrey to her father; but the pursuivant turns out to be Preamble’s clerk, Metaphor, in disguise, and he explains that Preamble is actually taking her to church to marry her himself. Clay goes into hiding. Tub tells Turf that the robbery was a ruse by Preamble to enable him to take Audrey. Turf breaks off the hue and cry and intervenes in time to prevent the marriage, and takes Audrey home. Sir Hugh poses as the robbed man, Captain Thumbs, and complains of Turf’s negligence. Turf is summoned before Preamble to answer for abandoning the chase; he must produce the thief, presumed to be Clay, or pay back the stolen money himself. He sends Metaphor to fetch the cash, but Sir Hugh tells Metaphor to bring Audrey too. Tub and Hilts bully the plot out of Metaphor, and arrange to intercept him as he returns with Audrey. Tub takes the girl and lets Hilts and Metaphor have the money; but his mother, who has been out looking for him, catches up with him just as he is about to take Audrey to church. He claims he was taking her home, but Lady Tub will not be put off, and sends Audrey home with her gentleman usher, Pol-Marten—who woos her for himself. Tub roots out a supposed devil in Turf’s barn: it turns out to be Clay, hiding in the straw. Pol-Marten disguises Audrey in Lady Tub’s clothes, and Sir Hugh marries them, not realizing who they are. Tub invites the company home to supper, where he has arranged a masque whose central feature is a tub, representing his family; it has been devised by the cooper Medley,…