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Full speech
Sure he's here about. I have known some few, And read of more; wh'have had their dose, and deep, Of these sharp bitter-sweets. Save that some folk delight To blend all good of others, with some spite. And so are understood For simple loves, and sampled lives beside. Better be so, then pitied Mellifleur! For' gainst all envy, virtue is a cure; But wretched pity ever calls on scorns. The Deeres brought home: I hear it by their horns. Saw you the Raven, Friend? And what do you think of her? Where saw you her? We taste the same reproaches! And to await the issue. What's her grief? Stay, you will hear more of her witchery A soul ill Spirit hath possessed her. She is a shrewd deformed piece, I vow. She may deceive the Sense, but really She cannot change her self. It was believed before, but now confirmed, That we have seen the Monster. He is bewitched. She must by some device restrained be, Or shee'll go far in mischief. Send forth your woodmen, then, into the walks, Or let'em prick her footing hence; A Witch Is sure a Creature of Melancholy, And will be found, or sitting in her form, Or else, at relief, Like a Hare. I have asked leave to assist you, jolly huntsmen, If and old Shep'herd may be herd among you; Not jeered or laughed at. Ye say right well. Know ye the Witches Dell? Within a gloomy dimble, she does dwell Down in a pit, overgrown with brakes and briers. Close by the ruins of a shaken Abbey Torn, with and Earthquake, down unto the ground, amongst graves, and grotts, near and old Charnel house, Where you shall find her sitting in her form, As fearful, and melancholic, as that She is about; with Caterpillars kells, And knotty Cobwebs, rounded in with spells; Thence she steals forth to relief, in the fogs, And rotten Mists, upon the fens, and bogs, Down to the drowned Lands of Lincolnshire; To make Ewes cast their Lambs! Swine eat their Farrow! The Housewifes Tun not work! Nor the Milk churn! Writhen Children's wrists! and suck their breath in sleep! Get Vials of their blood! And where the Sea Casts up his slimy Owze, search for a weed To open locks with, and to rivet Charms, Planted about her, in the wicked feat, Of all her mischiefs, which are manifold. And all her wiles, and turns. The venomed Plants Wherewith she kill's! where the sad Mandrake grows, Whose groans are deathful! the dead-numming Nightshade! The stupifying Hemlock! Adders tongue! And Martagan! the shreikes of luckless Owls, We hear! and croaking Night-crows in the air! Greene-bellied Snakes! blue fire-drakes in the sky! And giddy Flitter-mice, with leather wings! The scaly Beetles, with their habergeons, That make a humming Murmur as they fly! There, in the stocks of trees, white Faies do dwell, And span-long Elves, that dance about a pool! With each a little Changeling, in their arms! The airy spirits play with falling stars! And mount the Sphere of fire, to kiss the Moon! While, she fitts reading by the Glowworms light, Or rotten wood (over which the worm hath crept) The baneful schedule of her nocent charms, And binding Characters, through which she wounds Her Puppetts, the Sigilla of her witchcraft. All this I know, and I will find her for you; And show you'her sitting in her form; I'll lay My hand upon her; make her throw her skutt Along her back, when she does start before us. But you must give her Law: and you shall see her Make twenty leaps, and doubles; cross the paths, And then squatt down beside us. That I do promise, or I'am no good Hag-finder. The Fiend hath much to do, that keeps a School; Or is the Father of a family; Or governs but a country Academy: His labours must be great, as are his cares, To watch all turns, and cast how to prevent them. This Dame of mine here,
Plot summary
Plot — A Tale of a Tub
Audrey Turf is to be married to John Clay, even though her father has promised her to Squire Tub: she drew Clay in a Valentine’s Eve lottery and her parents are determined that she should marry him on Valentine’s Day. The vicar, Sir Hugh, alerts Tub, and lays a plot to stop the wedding; but also abets Justice Preamble’s scheming to get the girl for himself. Tub’s governor Hilts poses as a servant whose master, Captain Thumbs, was attacked nearby; he has brought Constable Turf orders from the Queen to raise a hue and cry to catch the criminals; moreover, his description of one of them fits Clay, the bridegroom. Turf is obliged to postpone the wedding, and leaves his daughter with Hilts, who hands her over to Tub. Audrey at first thinks herself too low-born to be the Squire’s wife, but is won over by the prospect of social advancement. But before Tub can get her to church, he is arrested by Preamble. The judge leaves Tub with a pursuivant, saying he must return Audrey to her father; but the pursuivant turns out to be Preamble’s clerk, Metaphor, in disguise, and he explains that Preamble is actually taking her to church to marry her himself. Clay goes into hiding. Tub tells Turf that the robbery was a ruse by Preamble to enable him to take Audrey. Turf breaks off the hue and cry and intervenes in time to prevent the marriage, and takes Audrey home. Sir Hugh poses as the robbed man, Captain Thumbs, and complains of Turf’s negligence. Turf is summoned before Preamble to answer for abandoning the chase; he must produce the thief, presumed to be Clay, or pay back the stolen money himself. He sends Metaphor to fetch the cash, but Sir Hugh tells Metaphor to bring Audrey too. Tub and Hilts bully the plot out of Metaphor, and arrange to intercept him as he returns with Audrey. Tub takes the girl and lets Hilts and Metaphor have the money; but his mother, who has been out looking for him, catches up with him just as he is about to take Audrey to church. He claims he was taking her home, but Lady Tub will not be put off, and sends Audrey home with her gentleman usher, Pol-Marten—who woos her for himself. Tub roots out a supposed devil in Turf’s barn: it turns out to be Clay, hiding in the straw. Pol-Marten disguises Audrey in Lady Tub’s clothes, and Sir Hugh marries them, not realizing who they are. Tub invites the company home to supper, where he has arranged a masque whose central feature is a tub, representing his family; it has been devised by the cooper Medley,…