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Full speech
Good Justice Hook, I do confess your offer's fair, and would Accept it willingly, but that— I fear my Son will not agree unto it. You know he hates all women. I ever yet found him obedient, Nor do I doubt to win him now: how ever, I am resolved if he in this shall cross me, I'll disinherit him immediately. How now my son? how fare you? How not well? your colour Does not proclaim you very sick, but say. What's that? After the old fashio ̄ still? Come on my son, I have been seeking of you, And peradventure you may guess the cause. As I did walk even now into my pasture, I did begin to think. That now I'm struck in years. What's that you mutter to your self? come speak. Well said my son. Out on you traitor. Sayest thou so thou villain? Hast thou no more regard into thy father, Nor to his shipwracked fortune, that thou thus Dost study his undoing plot his ? Pish, dome, I will not spend and article of air Upon him more — good M r Hook lets go, The following hour shall see him no son of mine. This once I speak it. Wilt have his daughter? He melts, M r Hook, he melts, I feel him coming. He is our own. Never hope it. Because it pleases him it most concerns. Until to morrow? not for and hour: I know Your disposition son too well for that. I have you now, but where you'll be next day, He is wiser then your father that does know. But son I will not hear, I tell you. Master Hook, You here do give your daughter? How now? You will not urge me?—go too, do not do it. How's that? Come son, I do not Like these courses, nor Do they become a Gentleman, I'll not have That contumely dwell on our family, That we should use such indirect proceedings For to re-edify our tottering Fortune's. By all the Magic in the name of Father I do conjure thee; by this aged head, And these grey hairs, by thy dead Mother's Urn, By all her cares and fears, by what is dearest Unto thy soul, I charge thee, take his daughter. Agreed, Most willingly. Follow me son and daughter. M r . Hook 'Twould relish more of wisdom if you did Bear out this matter coolly. Come my daughter. Anteros salute your sister, and embrace her. No more. Master Hook, You shall not frown, since all things here do smile; To morrow I will pay you half your money, So you will grant me a general acquittance; It's in my power (you know) and I may choose Whither I'll pay a farthing, but no more, (There is a thing called conscience within me; And) you shall have it: therefore be frolic Sir. And — That it will be a comfortable sighed To see you married before my death. Whilst I was thinking thus, Old justice Hook, a Gentleman of rank, And of a family not to be despised, Came to me with his daughter, and desired Our friendship and affinity; and to be brief, We have concluded betwixt ye two a marriage, Which must be present; as for the portion, Has promised in the wedding fire to sacrifice The Bonds wherein our Lands stand forfeited. A thing beyond my Hope's, or your deserts. Anteros Stay, we will see the end of this.
Plot summary
Plot — The Rival Friends
With Placenta’s help, Constantina disguises herself as a boy and leaves her father’s house in search of her missing love, Cleopes; she leaves a former boy-actor in her place. The friends Neander and Lucius both love Pandora, but she cannot decide between them. Each asks old Lively to help him win her love, not for himself but for his friend. Favouring Lucius, Lively plans to arrange a bogus wedding that will remove Neander from the rivalry, leaving Pandora for Lucius, without being subsequently binding. The ‘boy’ whom Lively selects to pose as Neander’s bride is actually Constantina; but he allows the wedding to go ahead even after discovering her identity. Meanwhile Placenta advises Pandora to make her lovers jealous by pretending interest in someone else, so she woos the page Endymion. When she learns that Neander is married, and when Lucius claims to be a eunuch, she transfers her affections to Endymion in earnest. It emerges that Lucius has jilted Endymion’s sister Isabella, who subsequently disappeared. Constantina is brought in apparently dead, killed by Neander, and her brother Love-All recognizes her. In fact, she is only injured, and revives, calling for Cleopes. Neander admits that he is Cleopes: he had wooed her, but became more interested in Pandora, and feigned a voyage overseas; he then returned with a new identity to pursue Pandora. Love-All wants to know who was pretending to be his sister while Constantina has been out of the house; the ‘boy’ is brought in, and is recognized as the absent Isabella. Lucius agrees to marry her, waiving a dowry, and Pandora is allowed to marry Endymion. In one sub-plot, Lively’s house, a parsonage, will revert to the church upon his death. Pandora’s father, Justice Hook, has the living in his gift, and has promised it to whoever marries his other daughter, the deformed Ursely. Suitors flock to Hook’s house, but Lively intends to outlive them. While Hook is interviewing the candidates, Lively feigns death and names Hook his heir, but comes back to life when Hook rushes off to take possession of the property. Ursely herself wants to marry the misogynistic Anteros, and Anteros overhears Hook acceding to her wishes. To win the compliance of Anteros’ father Terpander, Hook surrenders a mortgage on his lands, which Anteros destroys. Placenta then reveals that the marriage cannot take place: Ursely is Anteros’ sister, given up at birth by her mother to simulate the results of a phantom pregnancy to Hook’s wife.…