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Full speech
To which of these shall I mine ear incline? But see found Mortals how they gaze On that same petty blaze? Thetis adieu, I am no longer thine, I must away, For if I stay, My Deity's quite undone, They will forget to adore the rising Sun. But what new spectacle of wonder's this? And have I lost my wonted Majesty Where with I use to strike a general blindness Through all the Stars? unto what height of pride Are they aspired, that thus with open eyes They dare outface me? Call out a powerful ray And make those saucy sparks confess that all Their lustre is a debt they owe to me. And bless them all the Gods. But how come I To be so blind to day? so dull? so heavy? I know them now; Hail fairest Albions King, Live still the envy of the world; and thou Resplendent Goddess, to view whose glorious face I have oft times in my swift course stood still; Be all propitious to thy wished delights. And since you have vouchsafed your gracious presence Here at the Muses Grove, command their Patron, Who here stands pressed to serve ye. Or else let Daphne frown, Or Phaeton resume my Chariot. Command me kill a Python, or recall The Lion or the Crabb: thou art too modest In thy requests; 'tis done, and for to add A greater honour to this day, behold I will recall those few spent minutes too Which have run out since I appeared, I'll back, And fetch new rays that amorous Valentine, This morning may brighter then ever shine. Would would he, here be fine feats. (I hope we shall have a ballad made o'nt before night) would would he, the Sun must lay aside all his business, & be at leisure (forsooth) to fetch back S to Valentines day for the ̄ , would would he. In faith Gentlemen I pity you, y'ar Like to have a goodly Comedy here, Plautus his Captives translated, or some such thing I warrant you: why your Poet cannot endure a woe man; and there are likely to be sweet raptures where the Muse is not amorous and sanguine. But let me see, now I think o'nt, I'll go fetch him out to you, & you shall laugh at him most miserably, & the Ladies too; troth do, he deserves it. He has hired me this Valentines morning, (for so you must suppose it) to led him out hoodwinked with a black scarf, into the fields, because he would not see a woman. But Gods me! what have I forgotten? I should have had mine ears stretched for it if I had missed it. Ye must suppose the Scene too to be here in England at a country village. Some low homely slight stuff it'll be, I doubt: pray heavens he does not hear me. And here's and other dainty absurdity too (which I care not much if I tell ye) concerning their clothes, which as far transcend the condition of the persons, as the court does the country. But that they hope the Court will excuse, for had it not been here, they had been forced (they say) to keep the true decorum. But to my charge whom I left at the door, till I had discovered whither the coast were clear. Come sir, now you may venture, you have a prospect as barren as and Eunuchs chin.— Oh me! why he's run away. I'll be whipped if he has not smelled out my plot of exposing him to your view. — But here comes the Prologue, he perhaps brings some news of him; I'll leave ye to censure his legs and cringes.
Plot summary
Plot — The Rival Friends
With Placenta’s help, Constantina disguises herself as a boy and leaves her father’s house in search of her missing love, Cleopes; she leaves a former boy-actor in her place. The friends Neander and Lucius both love Pandora, but she cannot decide between them. Each asks old Lively to help him win her love, not for himself but for his friend. Favouring Lucius, Lively plans to arrange a bogus wedding that will remove Neander from the rivalry, leaving Pandora for Lucius, without being subsequently binding. The ‘boy’ whom Lively selects to pose as Neander’s bride is actually Constantina; but he allows the wedding to go ahead even after discovering her identity. Meanwhile Placenta advises Pandora to make her lovers jealous by pretending interest in someone else, so she woos the page Endymion. When she learns that Neander is married, and when Lucius claims to be a eunuch, she transfers her affections to Endymion in earnest. It emerges that Lucius has jilted Endymion’s sister Isabella, who subsequently disappeared. Constantina is brought in apparently dead, killed by Neander, and her brother Love-All recognizes her. In fact, she is only injured, and revives, calling for Cleopes. Neander admits that he is Cleopes: he had wooed her, but became more interested in Pandora, and feigned a voyage overseas; he then returned with a new identity to pursue Pandora. Love-All wants to know who was pretending to be his sister while Constantina has been out of the house; the ‘boy’ is brought in, and is recognized as the absent Isabella. Lucius agrees to marry her, waiving a dowry, and Pandora is allowed to marry Endymion. In one sub-plot, Lively’s house, a parsonage, will revert to the church upon his death. Pandora’s father, Justice Hook, has the living in his gift, and has promised it to whoever marries his other daughter, the deformed Ursely. Suitors flock to Hook’s house, but Lively intends to outlive them. While Hook is interviewing the candidates, Lively feigns death and names Hook his heir, but comes back to life when Hook rushes off to take possession of the property. Ursely herself wants to marry the misogynistic Anteros, and Anteros overhears Hook acceding to her wishes. To win the compliance of Anteros’ father Terpander, Hook surrenders a mortgage on his lands, which Anteros destroys. Placenta then reveals that the marriage cannot take place: Ursely is Anteros’ sister, given up at birth by her mother to simulate the results of a phantom pregnancy to Hook’s wife.…