HOOK

Come on, I am not of that rank of Patrons Which set to sale the livings of the Church. (O are you here my daughter? wipe your nose;) I take no bonds in secret, fell no horse For his price centuple, nor do I send The eager suitors up unto my Lady, That she might judge which is the better gifted. (Sir if your father will be bound to pay He takes Stuc. aside. The first years revenues, you are the man shall speed, A reservation of mine own tithes too Must be concluded on before you have it) But as a true lover of virtue, do Choose rather to confer a double good Then the least damage on the man I deal with. Behold my young and tender daughter here; I do confess she's not the rarest piece That ever nature drew, nor is it fit That such as you, who either are, or should be Wedded unto your Books, should have a loud And clamorous beauty to disturb your studies. You needs not fear the thought of her perfection. Will call you from a piece of Greek to read Miracles in her face. Hold up your head, Enter Lively. And tell me now which of this goodly troop You have most mind to, for on him will I Bestow old Liuely's Parsonage, and thee In Marriage. You villains— Out of my house ye brood of caterpillars. — Son of a hedge and Moonshine; go—fie, fie, fie. Oh misery beyond— come out you rascal, And bring your piping nose along with you; — A fire upon this hollow ruff of yours, It's Like your heart—out rogues, and ruffians— Oh I am undone.— Exit. Oh me! the very boy's will laugh at me. I say trouble me not—the mortgage. Fie, fie, fie. Oh. Without a Portion? take her what ere thou art So, So, that care is passed yet, this a little Help's out with the other losses. Thou art and honest man. Ye are all honest, ye are all honest. Let me not hear another syllable, You peevish girl, you; you have Anteros? What do you weep? no more: come on your ways, And fit you down here by me, while your Suitors Explain themselves and their good parts before you. Why so my daughter? peace. Peace thou most arrant fool, before your wooers Thus to proclaim your imperfections? The candle of the day Will burn within the socket, ere thou'st done; I pray thee leave. O; he hath don't already, don't already Now out upon his lungs, My dinner will be spoiled, the capon burned, The beef as black as mummy; this men breath Will blast them all. Hast thou taken Order fellow? Didst ever preach? Spare your pains good sir. What says he? O villain, Command him silence. But see old Lively; stand close and observe. Peace, not a word: what does he name me for? Bear witness Gentlemen — Good M r . Lively, alas how fares it with you? He whom you asked for, Sacrilege Hook. Why Robert, Oliver, Run to the Church immediately, and cause The bell be told with speed: old M r . Lively Is newly dead—Alas, I can but weep To view this spectacle of mortality, And I have cause to spend some tears for him— would would he. Offer no violence unto the dead I charge you, it's as bade as sacrilege, Which I have always hated. Forbear this rudeness gentlemen, my daughter Shall have her choice; these are not ways to gain her, They must be gentle, soft behaviours That win a woman, not such boisterous Rhethoricke. — But hark, the bell does toll: I'll presently Go seize upon his goods and chattel, O! for my Hope's, What does he live again? O what a knave is this? a rank old knave? A stinking knave? a knave in grain? fie, fie, That I should thus be gulled? follow me daughter, And you Gentlemen. You'll leave your blubbering, Minion, come your ways. You set your mind on such a man? yet more? You might as well be in love with that same Sun, And should as soon enjoy it. Come, you're a foolish girl, he marry you? That day that he does marry you, will I Bring back to life all that were dead before The universal Deluge. There are a hundred reasons (daughter) why You should not hope it, first he hates all women, Next if he did not, you that are deformed, Lame, and mishapen, black, beside, ill mannered. — What shall I do? 'tis strange— Well, it must be so: I will go seek Terpander, And move him to this match: most of his lands I have in mortgage, nay indeed they are Forfeited to me, for the day is passed Wherein he was bound to pay in the money, the advantage of this forfeiture, will I Threaten to take, unless he does compel, His son to take my daughter, to his wife. Nay, rather then I will be disappointed, He for a portion, shall have in his bonds, Come daughter, be of comfort, we will go Directly to Terpander, where I'll use Such arguments, as shall enforce him make His son both love, and marry you. Exeunt. Wretch And profane person. Thou shalt not needs to woo her Anteros, She is thine own already. Oh, mildly sir. Come Terpander, You are too harsh with him, I know your son Does more esteem of Virtue and Religion — What word good Anteros? Oh profane person! Willingly. Anteros, receive thy loving wife. Take them. Now take your wife. It is my son. O Traitor, Miscreant, Daughter take heed; Terpander, Oh Terpander, He threatens me to cut my throat. He swears he will make hawkesmeat of my daughter. Oh, Oh, am undone, cheated and gulled, undone, Villain I'll bind thee to thy good behaviour. How? woe is me, I am undone. Come Terpander, we Will keep the wedding, at my house, but hear you? The cost and charges shall be yours. It is a miracle: but the bonds, the living. Terpander, you have herd how much this match May both concern you and your Son, your Fortune's: The greater partly of your inheritance You know is mortgaged to me, nay (I'll tell you) If I would use that rigour of the law It's forfeited and passed recovery; Think therefore quickly, if you would be free From all those cares and troubles which afflict Such as do live in debt, compel your Son To marry this my daughter. It is and ample dowry I confess, And little it's agreeing to my nature To buy a husband at so deer a rate, But I have something that sounds father in me; And must not lose a daughter, if there be A remedy in nature. True it is, That (by what angry Deity I know not) She has so fixed her love upon your Son, That I do think nought but a quick fruition Can rescue her from a death. But what? very good. Is he not your's, and under your command? We father's make our children refractory, By being too indulgent over them; Beside, I am persuaded that his virtues Will not permit him for to contradict the authority of a father. Hold up your head my daughter And summon your best looks into your face. And get you packing too, thou old impostor, With your distorted puppet here; and you That make the custards quake where ere you come, Thou enemy to sweet meats. But see your son. 'Tis your best course at first to accost him gently. Woe's me! what shall I say? what shall I do? I have given in the mortgage, and without money. But what new spectacle is this? How's that? Another riddle yet. Her husband? would? Why is not this Neander One of the rival's in my daughters love? Fie, fie, Hell is broke lose upon me: all her furies Are come at once t'assault me. We will discourse of that within. Terpander, Sir will it please you follow? you my Son, Gentl'men you're all my guests to night. Me Think's I am grown Pestilent kind upon the sudden, The Music too, we will be merry, come, Nay come, come, take me while the homours hight. How's this? but yesterday he was in's sack, Told me he hoped to live to eat a Goose Which grazed upon my graven: so suddenly? Peace, not so loud for fear you call him back. Ye all can bear me record I'm his heir. Whats that? Well, he shall have it. Hold: by the virtue of this writing, it Is lawful for you (after old Liuelyes death) For to present the first Fie, fie, fie, fie. I had this drawn (alas) for another end.