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Full speech
High, strike up brave boys, high, for our town. Between a gentleman and a gentlewoman, but what care we what they be. Come on brave Shepherd, our Master would gi ven us leave to trip it for and hour, or two, Faith we have had a wedding at our house to day. But what flap-mouthed fellow's that behind the tree there? Where? where? o cuds wowkers & swowkers, I have him by the leg: Robin, help here Robin. Come let the great fool alone, we'll dance our selves. Weary? faith I'de squiffe it; weary? about with it I say. They dance again. Pish lets away, strike up, Stipes adieu. Why do you rub her head And face so much, you foolish woman you? Let me alone, I'll find her wound I warrant you. What will you give sir, and I will let you Shift for your self? I but you shall sirrah, in spite of your teeth. No can't? we'll try that: Robin, hold his tother arm fast: so, so, now Merda, now, well said, again, again; why so then. They all laugh. Hold the cut throat fiddlers While we do bring this gentlewoman before the justice. I that he is our Edward, We both were present when they were detracted. Fie upon you Merda, a great maiden, and blush. Good M. justice, Exit. I pray you hear me. As we did dance even now In your North field, we found this gentlewoman, Lying all along (as to say) even quite dead, And this her husband with his naked sword Standing hard by her.
Plot summary
Plot — The Rival Friends
With Placenta’s help, Constantina disguises herself as a boy and leaves her father’s house in search of her missing love, Cleopes; she leaves a former boy-actor in her place. The friends Neander and Lucius both love Pandora, but she cannot decide between them. Each asks old Lively to help him win her love, not for himself but for his friend. Favouring Lucius, Lively plans to arrange a bogus wedding that will remove Neander from the rivalry, leaving Pandora for Lucius, without being subsequently binding. The ‘boy’ whom Lively selects to pose as Neander’s bride is actually Constantina; but he allows the wedding to go ahead even after discovering her identity. Meanwhile Placenta advises Pandora to make her lovers jealous by pretending interest in someone else, so she woos the page Endymion. When she learns that Neander is married, and when Lucius claims to be a eunuch, she transfers her affections to Endymion in earnest. It emerges that Lucius has jilted Endymion’s sister Isabella, who subsequently disappeared. Constantina is brought in apparently dead, killed by Neander, and her brother Love-All recognizes her. In fact, she is only injured, and revives, calling for Cleopes. Neander admits that he is Cleopes: he had wooed her, but became more interested in Pandora, and feigned a voyage overseas; he then returned with a new identity to pursue Pandora. Love-All wants to know who was pretending to be his sister while Constantina has been out of the house; the ‘boy’ is brought in, and is recognized as the absent Isabella. Lucius agrees to marry her, waiving a dowry, and Pandora is allowed to marry Endymion. In one sub-plot, Lively’s house, a parsonage, will revert to the church upon his death. Pandora’s father, Justice Hook, has the living in his gift, and has promised it to whoever marries his other daughter, the deformed Ursely. Suitors flock to Hook’s house, but Lively intends to outlive them. While Hook is interviewing the candidates, Lively feigns death and names Hook his heir, but comes back to life when Hook rushes off to take possession of the property. Ursely herself wants to marry the misogynistic Anteros, and Anteros overhears Hook acceding to her wishes. To win the compliance of Anteros’ father Terpander, Hook surrenders a mortgage on his lands, which Anteros destroys. Placenta then reveals that the marriage cannot take place: Ursely is Anteros’ sister, given up at birth by her mother to simulate the results of a phantom pregnancy to Hook’s wife.…