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Full speech
As I was saying, Master Bromley, why should you take the advantage of your neighbour Sager here? you have God the reuer sion of his Lease. Ther's is but one life to come in't. We are all mortal. It may come ere you look for't. I love peace, I love peace. Nay Sir, I'll bind no man: but if I could persuade you—to be fleeced both, so I might be kept warm in your wool—How say you neighbour Sager? Therein you wrong your self: the law is impartial, Like a Bell, as found on one side, as on the other, if the clapper be right. Master Bromley a word—What will you judge me worthy of, If I persuade him to relinquish his right? You know your case—. Pish, never talk of that man—M r . Sager, a word—I love peace, though I cannot live by't. I respect my conscience above my purse—when to has no money in't.—What will you give me to draw Bromley to a good handsome composition? You know 'twill go against you, but I love peace. What Damned fortune's this, that I cannot smell out these thieves? I would sweat them to the Gallous, as well as they swore me out of my money. And oath Like a strong charm, should conjure their necks into the circle of a rope. O, here comes my fellow-Patient; we both took Physic together; purged, purged: but I have a cordial for him. Save you, brother Gripe. M r . Bromley, news, good news. It's repor ted, that Sager's dead. Our gilded shall bind our secrecy; who lives And unsuspected villain, winks at others Unlawful deeds, to teach their eyelids how To wink at his—Shall we go to our new Hostice? For your where, at the Maidenhead, a good likely place. For your who: the wid dow that old Gripe suspects for the robbery; but young Gripe hath tenanted to his Inn. Mass, she prevents us. Widow, we were coming. Stay Sir. He's in my debt too: I have solicited for Sir Bore these seven years, and have nothing but bore thanks. Shall we walk on? our journey's long. Indeed Gentleme ̄ , I am sorry that I'm not better stored for you. If you had took me coming from term, I could have served your turns better. O neighbours, I'am undone, undone. O good woman help, help to untie us. O that I had the villains upon and execution now. I faith sweet wench, I would show them the law. Run? no. It's joust, that every man should take his own. How's this? killed?—muttering? and conscience? Look, his ghastly melancholy points him out for the murderer. As sure, as a hatte-brinkes pulled down declares a cuckold, this darkness discovers him. Tell him, that knows it not. How? It's clear. I have twenty cases for't. The concealing of murder is but manslaughter. I must have my book. Upon my faith, a pretty quillet.
Plot summary
Plot — The Honest Lawyer
Richard Vaster’s lands are mortgaged to Gripe the usurer for £300. Jealously believing himself to have been cuckolded, he sells his wife Florence to the bawd and innkeeper Marmaid, claiming her to be his sister. He then challenges Benjamin Gripe, the usurer’s son, to a duel, and pretends to be killed; the remorseful Benjamin is determined to make amends by looking after Vaster’s family. Valentine sets himself up as a phoney doctor and is asked to cure Gripe’s gout, which entails driving a large nail through the affected toe. While Gripe is inconvenienced by the nail, Valentine steals his purse and keys. Gripe also sends Benjamin to foreclose on Vaster’s mortgage; when Benjamin asks him to give the bereaved family a three-month respite, he is disinherited. Surprisingly, the nail does indeed drive out the gout. Curfew has passed himself off as the deputy Abbot of Newnham after the death of the real deputy, his brother, and he uses the abbey as a base for highway robbery. His first two victims are Valentine and the disguised Vaster, who both prove as rascally as he; the three of them end up going into partnership. They proceed to rob travellers: Vaster happily relieves Gripe of his money, but lets Benjamin off with an injunction to be good to the Vaster family. Whenever they leave anyone tied up on the road, Florence comes out of the nearby inn and releases them. She is proving a 1614 disappointment to Marmaid ~ all her clients seem to end up with a new moral outlook on prostitution — so the bawd allows Benjamin, the landlord, to take her away. He lodges her at his father’s house under an assumed name, Widow Sorrow. Valentine makes an affray at the inn, and is arrested. The justice before whom he is brought happens to be Gripe, who lets him off, because he has developed another medical complaint: inability to urinate. Valentine proposes using gunpowder to blow open the urinary tract, and again the treatment is surprisingly successful. Robert and Anne, Vaster’s son and daughter, are destitute, but nobody will give them any money, not even Bromley, Vaster’s former steward who owes everything to the family. Benjamin sends Robert to see ‘Widow Sorrow’, and falls in love with Anne. Robert soon identifies the widow as his mother, but suspects that her presence in the usurer’s household confirms his father’s suspicions of her adultery. When he threatens her with violence, Gripe has him committed to prison. The usurer attempts to seduce the widow, and gives her the…