CONTARENUS

The choice is hard in amid of such extremes, my Lord and Prince pretending Countries good, On th'other side affections dazzling beams, which still will shine though clypsed with a cloud, Layeth in mine eye my Ladies endue desert, which nought but death can sever from my heart. What flashing flames did she at first abide, when as on me her love she did bestow? What constance still in her wrought on my side, to keep that love whereto my life I owe? What grief did then consume her careful heart, when as my Lord wiled me from Court depart? What was the zeal that made her so forsake, the bliss which princely Court to her could bring, And for my Love such passing pains to take, to find me out where bruit of me should ring. Now should I swerve whom she so long hath sought? death were too small did I but fault in thought. How can I leave her thus and not deserve, to be enrolled with those infamous men, Whom Love, because they did from him so swerve, hath painted out by Poets public pen: In hell to have their well deserving hire, for so defrauding love of joust desire? Yet pardon me Madam for weighing both, if any harm do rise, the grief is mine, You to displease the God, know I am loath, for whom my heart disdains not any pine. Set love aside till reason hath found out, what is the best in that we go about. Against our Love our Countries good is laid, for whose avail we ought not death refuse, Then death for love in Countries cause bewrayed, ought to rejoice and seek no other scuce: Yet leaving Love for countries cause I die, who will not weep such happen on me to lie. Because my Lord your father may well know that virtue is the link of this our Love, And not affection blind which leads us so, as being bent we cannot once remove: Mark Madam what I say, and yield consent, it is your love that causeth me relent. Without my Lord your parents free good will, at home with him what can his child enjoy? And thus to live in state a wanderer still, as you do now, what more may breed annoy? Good Madam though I love as no man more, yield yet to him, withstand him not so soar. You shall obtain such one by his foresight, as he shall Like, and countries weal shall crave, You mustregard the common weals good plighted, and seek the whole not only one to save. If you do well, I cannot do amiss, though losing you I loose mine only bliss. I do foresee the grief that will ensue, when I shall find my self of you bereft, When careful mind my late mishap shall rue, that void of you and of your sighed am left. A double death my doleful days shall feel, yet I resign my right to countries weal. Madam I am your own still to command, as one you see of hap bereaved quite, Resolved not to return to countries land, sith I have lost what was my whole delight: When resting pause hath stayed my troubled heart, I will retire and draw my self apart. And now sith cause of such importance moves, my woeful heart thus to forgo his love, Most worthy Dame sith chance so parts our loves, that from my sighed your presence must remove, Grant me herein, sith now the last I see, let not your love all whole depart from me. Weigh well the cause that moved me to relent, which may perhaps imprint more deep conceit, What man as I, his love so firmly bent, would yield the hold once master of the bait? The gods preserve your honour still in health, my private good, my common countries wealth. And if your mind were set that home you will, it were but labour lost, if I gainsaid, And absent if your love continue still, my gain is great who still this ground have laid, That honest love might think it no disgrace, though they that love do hap to sunder place. Such is my recompense. Now do I feel the pangs the Sea men bide, which having harbour nigh in hope to land By turning wind are driven to try the tide, and trust the Seas thereby to void the sand. Now do I feel the depth of mother's pain, for death of child she hoped to see again. Was ever man more near his haven of bliss? his ship driven forth with wind that filled the sail, Had ever man such cause of hopeless miss, as I which at the fall so soon did fail? Did Fortune ere so sudden show her power as in her mirth so soon again to lower? When I had lived so long in strange exile, in desert wastes commanded still to dwell, Disfavored of my prince (alas the while) and barred my Ladies sighed my heaviest hell: Again at last though to her pain we met, so Love in her surmounted luckless let, Which love as it did work in her to ease, so Father's search which sought to salve his lose, Hath bred us both more cause of great displease, and tied us thus to try more bitter cross: By duty she is forced to relent, and leaves to love a leisure to repent. Yet can I not Gaudina blame therefore, her hearty love, her toiling tractes bewails, She is the lodge where virtue makes her store, it was her sire that bred my doleful days: Most happy he that on her Jove can hit, most hapless I for so foregoing it. And so far went I yet as one that spied, her whole estate depend upon my grant, Though my mishap herein be not denied, yet of her spied my self may justly vaunt. To work her good my life I would forgo, as I have done though to my endless woe. Can I behold another to embrace, where I my self my Love have always cast, Would not my grief bewray it self in place, to see my Love so clearly from me passed. Good Niphe help, this is my last request, to show my grief good Niphe do thy best. I thank thee Niphe for thy mournful song, the tune whereof delights the doleful ears Of such as justly may complain the wrong, whose grief dammes up the flood of trickling tears. Farewell to both, sith I must needs depart, bear witness of my woe and careful heart. And tell my Lady deer that I intend, henceforth to seek if I may meet her friend, Loricus whom the Hermit did commend, I'll bid him think and hope one day to find Reward for that his faithful service long, till when we both may plain of Fortune's wrong. Yet say, I will abide hers to command, where so adventures hard shall carry me, Not leaving love by Sea nor yet by land, though that I love, I never hap to see. O careful heart oppressed with such desires, as lacks the joys that liking aye requires. Yet this I am assured her Princely heart, where she hath loved will never quite forget, I know in her I shall have still apart, in honest sort I know she loves me yet. These thoughts in me maintain the hope of life, which other ways by death should end the strife. My Lord, what you have done, your state maintains, exiling me that did offend your eye, My life must be in course of restless pains, for her whom care of country does deny. Good hap light on the land where I was born, though I do live in wretched state forlorn. What Niphe, art thou here, and heardest my plaint? with silent voice couldst thou such grief abide? Which heretofore when fortune gave the taint, from sounding shrill couldst not thine anguish hide? O help in found to show my sorrowing state, which seemed to thee most happy but of late.