CLARE

What would heart? No in-troth heart, but and excellent pickeld Goose, a new service: pray you stay. When will you come home heart? Who sir? Broke sir. Go into Bucklers-bury and fetch me two ounces of pre served Melounes, look there be no Tobacco taken in the shop when he weighs it. By my troth I love you very honestly, you were never the gentleman offered any uncivility to me, which is strange methinks in one that comes from beyond Seas, would I had given a Thou sand pound I could not love thee so. Love shoots hear. By my troth I am sorry. Gone to the party? Oh wicked creature? Phill. Philip. In for the shaking of the heart, I have here some time such a shaking, and downwards such a kind of earthquake (as it were.) Come, come, you owe much money in Town: when you have forfeited your bound, I shall near see you more? Oh, how dost partner? How stale good Mistress nimble-wit? He is your consin, how your tongue runs? The more happy she, would I could make such and ass of my husband to. I hear say he breeds thy child in his teeth every year. To write? For Gods love let me see him. How? change my name? Oh you are a wag indeed. Good Wafer remember my school master. Farewell good Hon suckle. Pox a my heart then. Good Chamberlin keep them and their Helthes out of our company. I warrant you, their Helthes shall not hu to you. Out upon him? But I think I took him down with a witness, Nay I'll have all your ear S take partly of it. Why you shall Master Scarecrow says my good man: So within a little while after, Master Fabian was created Knight. And why not Created pray. Not Created, why all things have their being by creation. But to return to my tale. When he had climbed up this costly ladder of preferment, he disburses the money back again very honorably: comes home, and was by my husband invited to supper: There supped with us beside, another Gentleman incident to the Court, one that had bespoke me of my husband to help me into the banqueting house and see the revelling: a young Gentleman, and that wag (our schoolmaster) marster Parenthesis, for I remember he said grace, methinks I see him yet, how he turned up the white a'th eye, when he came to the last Gasp, and that he was almost passed Grace. All supper time, my New-minted knight, made Wine the wagon to his meat, for it ran down his throat so fast, that before my Chambermaid had taken half up, he was not scarce able to stand. And I thinking to play upon him, asked him, Sir Fabian Scar crow quoth I, what pretty Gentlewoman will you raise up now to stal her your Lady? but he Like a foulmouthed man, swore zounds I'll stal never a punk in England. A Lady, theres two many alrea die: Oh fie Sir Fabian (quoth I) will you call her that shall be your wife such and odious name! and then he sets out a throat & swore again (Like a stinking breathed knight as he was) that women were Like Horse. Theyde break over any hedge to change their pasture, that it were worse: Fie man fie, (says the Gentlewoman.) And he bristling up his beard to rail at her too, I cut him over the thumbs thus: why sir Fabian Searcrow did I incese my hus band to lend you so much money upon your bore word, and do you backbite my friends, and me so our faces! I thought you had had more perseverance; if you boar a Knightly and a degenerous mind you would scorn it: you had wont to be more deformable amongst women: Fie, that yowl be so humorsome: here was No body so egregious towards you sir Fabian! and thus in good sad nes, I gave him the best words I could pick out to make him a shamed of his doings. Very heavily: for he slept presently vpont: & in the mor ning was the sorriest Knight, and I warrant is so to this day, that lives by bred in England. No no, lets set upon our posset and so march to bed, for I begin to wax light with having my Natural sleep p ld out a mine eyes. By my little finger I'll break all your pipes, and burn the Case, and the box too, and you draw out your stinking smoakea before me. Do you long to see me lie at your feet! O God? O God? you anger me: you stir my blood: you move me: you make me spoil a good face with frowning at you: this was ever your fashion, so to smoke my Husband when you come home, that I could not abide him in mine eye: he was a moat in it me thought a month after: pray spawle in another room: fie, fie, fie. So: are they departed? What string may we three think that these three gallants harp upon, by bringing us to this sinful town of Brainford? would? I know as verily they hope, and brag one to another, that this night theile row westward in our husbands whirries, as we hope to be rowd to London to morrow morning in a pair of oars. But wenches lets be wise, and make Rooks of them that I warrant are now setting pursenets to cony-catch us. They shall know that Cit izens with es have wit enough to out strip twenty such gulls; though we are me y, lets not be mad: be as wanton as new married wives, as fantastic and light headed to the eye, as fether-makers, but as pure about the heart, as if we dwelled amongst em in Black Friars. Not as ill debtors do their Creditors (with good words) but as Lawyers do their Clients when their overthrown, by some new knavish trick: and thus it shall be: one of us must dislem ble to be suddenly very sick. And Like Esops Dog, unless himself might eat hay, will lie in the manger and starve: but heel hinder the horse from eating any: beside it will be as good as a Welch hook for you to keep out the other at the Staves end: for you may boldly stand upon this point, that vnle see every men heals may be trip up, you scor e to play at football. A chair, a chair, one of you keep as great a coil and calling, and as if you ran for a midwife: tho'ther hold y head: whilst I cut my lace. Ill, ill, ill, ill, ill. My mind misgives me that also not found at London. I fear yowl never carry me thither. Pray let my clothes be utterly undone, and then lay me in my bed. Oh master Lynstock, 'tis no walking will serve my turn: have me to bed good sweet Mistress Honisuckle, I doubt that old Hag Gillian of Braineford has bewitched me. Whose there? have you stockfish in hand that you Beatrice so hard: who are you? What a murren ail these colts, to keep such a kicking? Monopoly. Is M. Lynstock up too, and the Captain. Oh you are proper Gamesters to bring false dice with you from London to cheat your selves. Is't possible that 3 shallow women should gul. 3. such Gallants. Have we defied you upon the walls all night to open our gates to you ith morning. Our honest husba ds they (silly me ̄ ) lie praying in their beds now, that the water under us may not be rough, the tilt that covers us may not be rend, & the straw about our feet may keep our pretty legs warm. I warrant they walk upon ̄ Queen-hive (as Leander did for Hero ) to watch for our landing, and should we wrong such kind hearts? would we might ever be troubled with the toothache the. Buzzards do we not? out you yellow infirmities: do all flowers show in your eyes Like Columbines. Of me you peuter-buttoned rascal. School Ma ster hark neither. Let him have them good Ten erhooke, where are they. Do you come after us with hue and cry when you are the thieves your Selves. Lets hem her out off Brainford, if she get not the fa ster to London. Missed. Iustiniano is't you were ashamed all this while of showing your face, is she your wife Schoolmaster. Thanks good mistress Wafer. How now, what says he? At the Lion in Shoredich? And would he not read it? nor write to me? I'll poison his Supper? Gentlemen I must be gone. I cannot stay in faith: pardon me: I'll meet to morrow: come Nurse, cannot tarry by this ele meant. O yes: eat with em as hungetly as soldiers: drink as if we were Froes: talk as freely as Iestors, but do as little as misers. Who (Like dry Nurse's) have great breasts but give no milk. It were better we should laugh at their popin- ayes, then live in fear of their prating tongues: though we lie all night out of the City, they shall not find country wenches of us: but since we would brought em thus far into a fools Paradise, leave em int: the Jest shall be a stock to maintain us and our pewfellows in laugh king at christenings, cryings out, and vpsittings this 12. month: how say you wenches, have I set the Saddle on the right horse. Nay, though we can all dissemble well, yet I'll be she: for men are so jealous, or rather envious of one another's happiness (Espe cially in this out of town g ssipings) that he who shall miss his hen, if he be a right Cock ndeede, will watch the other from treading. Did you never hear how sir Fabian Scarerow (even such and other) took me up one night before my husband being in wine. Heusd to frequent me and my Husband diverse times And at last comes he out one morning to my husband, and says, master Tenterhook says he, I must trouble you to lend me200. pound about a commodity which I am to deal in, and what was that command dity but his knighthood. Oh master Monop lie, my spirits will not comet a my call ling, I am terrible and Ill: Sure, sure, I'm struck with some wic ked planet, for it my very heart: O I feel my self worse and worse. At hand sir, here with a wet finger. Why the book of bonds that are endue to you. Why sir, does not that which concerns you, concern me. You told me Monopoly had discharged his bound, I find by the book of accounts here, that it is not canceled. Ear I would suffer such a cheating companion to laugh at me, Idem see him would ̄ g ed I Good sweet heart as ever you loved me, as ever my bed was pleasing to you, arrest the knave, we were never beholding to him for a pin, but for eating up our victuals. Good Mouse enter and Actium against him. Hang him, to see the dishonesty of the knave. Why may not a Gentleman be a knave, that were strange in faith: but as I was a saying, to see the dishonesty of him, that would never come since he received the money to visit us you know. Master Tenterhook he hath hung long upon you. Mai ster Tenterhook as I am virtuous you shall arrest him. Why now you love me. I'll go to bed sweet heart. You are a sweet Beagle. Theile keep and excellent house till we come home again. Sergeant carry this ell of Cambrick to mistress Bird. tell her but that it is a rough tide, and that she fears the water, she should have gone with us. He's in town: this night he sups at the Lion in Shore do, good husband enter your Actium, and make hast to the Lion presently, theres and honest fellow (Sergeant Ambush) will do it in a trice, he never salutes a man in Courtesy, but he catches him as if he would arrest him. Good heart let Seriant Ambush lie in wait for him. No lamb, baa sheep, if a woman will be free in this intricate labyrinth of a husband, let her marry a man of a melan choly complexion, she shall not be much troubled with him. By my sooth my Husba worser hath a hand as dry as his brains, and a breath as strong as six continued ̄ mon gardens. Well my husband is gone to arrest Monopoly. I have dealt with a Sergeant privately, to in treat him, pretending that he is my Ants Son, by this means shall I see my young gallant that in this has played his partly. When they owe money in the City once, they deal with their Lawyers by attorney, follow the Court though the Court do them not the grace to allow them their dyer. Oh the wit of a woman when she is put to the pinch. Lie, and ashes, suffer much in the city for that come parison. I know him, what is he? Shall I speak truly? shall I speak not Like a woe man. Because women's tongues are Like to c ocks, if they go too fast they never go true, was I that God my husband to arrest thee, I have. For sooth I could not come to the speech of you, I think you may be spoken with all now. And yet why should I speak with you, I protest I love my husband Why? Mono Because heel die be before he can requi e it. Sergeant I must needs have my Cousin go a little Way out of Town with me and to secure thee, here are two Diamonds, they are worth two hundred pound, keep them till I return him. Do not come in my husbands sighed in the mean time Why I pray you?