GREENSHIELD

'Tis certain the honest knave Chamberlain that hath been my Informer, my baud, ever since I knew Beware assures me of it, and more being a Londoner though altogether unacquainted, I have requested his company at supper. Be that my undertaking: if I do not take a full revenge of his wives puritanical oynesse. This honest knave is called Innocence, is't not a good name for a Chamberlain? he dwe't at Dunstable not long since, and hath brought me and the two Butchers Daughters there to interview twenty times & not so little I protest: how chance you left dunstable Sirrah? True, but yet it comes scant of the Prophesy; Lincoln was, London is, and York shall. I had a delicate banquet once on that table. Here is your ring Mistress; a thousand times, —and would have willingly lost my best of maintenance that I might have found you hair so tractable. Have you her sir? Hold down her stomach good master Fetherstone, while I fetch some. Exit. I will find a remedy for this walking, if all the Doctors in town can fell it; a thousand pound to a penny she spoil not her face, or break her neck, or catch a cold that she may never claw off again, how dost wench? Gods so, now I think vpon't, a Jest is crept into my head, steal away, if you love me. Exeunt: musician sings. Good Master Mayberie, Philip, if you be kind Gentle men uphold the jest: your whole voyage is paid for. No matter how he talks, but his Pericranion's perished. Come gallants, the post horse are ready, 'tis but a quarter of and hours riding, weel er it them and ke them in-faith. Good infaith: will you to horse? The ̄ isle discharge the postmaster: was't not a pretty wit of mine master Poet to have had him rod into Puckridge, with a horn before him, would wast not? Gods precious a Yorkshire Gentlewoman; I have't, I'll angle for her presently, weel have him merry. No I'll be Pander my self, because weel be me ̄ rry. But how? be a Pander as I am a gentlema ̄ ? that were hor rible, I'll thrust my self into the outside of a Fawlconer in town here: & now I think on't there are a company of cou ̄ try players, that are come to town here, shall furnish me with hair and beard: if I do not bring her, —will be wondrous merry. He is taken, excellent, excellent, ther's one will make him merry: is it any imputation to help ones friend to a wench? That I might be presently turned into a ma ter more sodllid then horn, into Marble You are honest, very virtuously honest. Why do you not ride before my Wife to London now? the Woodcocks ith Sprindge. Oh hang her: this art of seeming honest makes many of our young sons and heirs in the City, look so Like our prentices,—Chamberlain. Most kindly welcome—I beseech you hold our bold ness excused Sir. 'Tis altogether trivial insooth: but to pass away the time till supper, I'll deliver it to you, with protestation before hand, I seek not to publish every ge ̄ tle-womans dishonour, only by the passage of my discource to have you censure the state of our quarrel. Frequenting the company of many merchants wives in the City, my heart by chance leapt into mine eye to affect the fairest but with all the falsest creature that ever affectio ̄ stooped to. She was and by report still is wife to a most graven and well reputed Citizen. As Meadows do April: the violence as it seemed of her affection—but alas it proved her dissembling, would at my coming and departing bedew her eyes with love drops; Oh she could the art of woman most feelingly. Oh you shall pardon me his name, it seems you are a Citizen, it would be discourse enough for you upon the ex change this fortnight should I tell his name. In the passage of our loves, (amongst other favours of greater value) she bestowed upon me this inge which she pro tested was her husbands gift. Not many nights coming to her and being familiar with her. I Sir. Lying with her as I say: and rising somewhat early from ̄ her in the morning, I lost this ring in her bed. Right Sir, in Mistress Maiberies sheets. Where I found her falseness: with this Gentleman; who by his own confession partaking the Like enjoyment; found this ring the same morning on her pillow, and shamed not in my sighed to wear it. Yes she hath reason for't, for in some countries, where men and women have good travailing stomachs, they begin with porridge; then they fallen to Capon or so-forth: but if Can Pon come short of filling their bellies, to their porridge again, 'tis their only course, so for our women in England. Her ring Sir. What my Mistress gift? Troth and mine, with your promise to conceal it from her husband. No Sir. Most willingly; Excellent, he's heat to the proof, lets withdraw, and give him leave to rave a little. You have not made her acquainted with the discovery. I protest it was the strangest, and yet withal the hap piest fortune that we should meet you two at Beware, that ever redeemed such desolate actions: I would not wrong you again for a million of Londons. Yes and she'll do it, I left her at Bosoms Inn, sheele be here, presently. Enter Maybery. Was there ever any walking spirit, Like to my wife? what reason S old there be in nature for this I will question some cion: not hear neither: vdslife, I would laugh if she were in Master Fetherstones Chamber, she would fright him, Mai er Fetherstone, Master Fetherstone. Did you leave your door open last night? Gods light she's there then, will you know the jest, my wife hath her old tricks, I'll hold my life, my wife's in your chamber, rise out of your bed, and see and you can feel her. So I said even now to my self before God la: take her up in your arms, and bring her hither softly, for fear of waking her: I never knew the Like of this before God la, alas poor Kate, look before God; she's a sleep with her eyes open: prit tie little rogue, I'll wake her, and make her ashamed of it. I warrant you; would all women thought no more hurt then thou dost, now sweet villain, Kate, Kate. She talks in her sleep. Why Kate, Kate ? I pray thee be not frighted. I have the worst luck; I think I get more bumps and shrewd turns ith' dark, how do's she master Fetherstone. Good night Sir. A scratch, a scratch. Exit. Is't a bargen. We shall stay too long. The troth is master Full-m one, diverse trains have been laid to bring him hither, without gaping of people, and never any took effect till now. For a woman, look you sir: here's a crown to pro vide his supper: he's a Gentleman of a very good house, you shall be paid well if you convert him; to morrow morning, bedding, and a gown shall be sent in, and wood and coal. No, why look what straw you buy for him, shall re turn you a whole harvest. Get a couple of your sturdiest fellows, and bind him I pray, while we slip out of his sighed. Come will you to horse sir? Gods precious is't come to this: persuade him as you are a Gentleman, there will be ballads made of him, & the burr then thereof will be, if you had road out 5. mile forward, he had found the fatal house of Braineford Northward, Oh hone, hone, hone ononero. Lets make him drunk then, a simple catching wit I. Why so he would in his fool. Get old Maibery merry: than any man should take to heart thus the down fallen of a woman, I think when he comes home poor snail, heel not dare to peep forth of doors least his horns usher him. Exit. Out of mine nostrils tapster, thou smel to Like Guildhall woe days after Simon and I de, of drink most horribly, off with thy mask sweet sinner of the North: these masks are foils to good faces, and to bade ones they are Like new satin outsides to lousy linings. Go to then, old Poet I have taken her up already as a pinnis bound for the straights, she knows her burden yonder. Oh well bold Tom ( ) we have precedents, for't Oh well bold Tom ( ) we have precedents for't. Now will she put some notable trick, upon her Cuck oldly husband. Hang of thou devil, away. A pox of your wit and your singing. God refuse me Gentlemen, you may laugh and be merry: but I am a Cuckold and I think you knew of it, who lay ith segges with you to night wild-duck. Fetherstone. Good. Very good Fetherstone he comes. Enter Fetherstone. You are a villain, and I'll mak't good upon you, I am no servingman, to feed upon your reversion. You are a damned villain. No, vdslife, I'll go instantly take a purse, be apprehen dead and hanged for't, better then be a Cuckold. 'Tis this thou hast not used me Like a Gentleman. Pox on't, I lay with her. Have I given it you master Poet, did the Limebush take. Like your Citizen, I never think of my debts, when I am a horseback. You shall hear more of that hereafter, I'll make Beware and him stink ere he goes, if I be a Taylor, the rogues naked weapon shall not fright me, I'll beat him and my wife both out ath Town with a Tailors yard. Exit. Beshrew my tongue for blabbing, I presume upon your secrecy. Is this he has all manner of languages, yet speaks none But where's this wench to be found, here are all the move able petticoats of the house.