ALPHONSINA

A withered-tree, does oft bear branches. Troth my Lord as of a horse, vilely, if he can Neither wihi, nor wag's-tail. Is't come to this, have the walls of the Castle been besie ged thus long, lain open for a breach; and dare you not Give fire to once piece? o y'ar a proper soldyor, good Sister, brother follow your game more close, or i'll leave you. Why willow? is the noble Prince forsaken? Why brother, what's the matter? That's not well. Surfeit? you eat some Meat against your stomach. Was it fish or flesh? I'st not the missing of a mark (which you long to hit) Makes you draw sighs in stead of arrows? By casting of thy water thy, I guess thou wouldst Have a medicine for the green sickness. Tent it, tent it, and keep it from rankling, you are Over head and ears in love. There's no hurt in that. And faith what doctress is she must call you patient? How! Darien? can no feather fit you but the broach in and Old men hat? were there so many dainty dishes To fill your belly, and must you needs long for that dish The master of the house sets up for his own tooth. Love? a disease as common with young-gallants as Swaggering and drinking Tobacco, there's not one Of they all but will to day lie drawing on for a Woman, as if they were puffing and blowing at a straight boot, And to morrow be ready to knock at death's door, But I wo'd feign see one of you enter and set in His staff. I shall look so old first, I shall be taken for thy gran dame; come, come it's but a worm between the skin And the flesh, and to be taken out with the point of a Waiting-woman's needle, as well as a great Countesses. Leave thee in sickness? I had more needs give thee a Caudle; and thrust thy addle-head into a nightcap, for look you brother— If what you will might so too, then would you be in Tune: I warrant, if the sucket stood here before Thee, thy stomach would go against it. Despair for a woman? they hang about men's Necks in some places thicker then hope upon poles. Walls of chastity? walls of wafer-cakes, I have Known a woman carry a featherbed, and a man in't In her mind, when in the street she cast up the white of Her eye Like a Puritane. Well brother, since you will needs S sail by such a Star as I shall point out, look you here it is; if she were Your Fether-makers, Tailors or Barbers wife, Bait a hook with gold, and with it— That cunning woman you take me to be, and because I see you dissemble not, here's my medicine. First send for your Barber. Your barber shall not come to rob you of your beard, I'll deal in no concealments— But let him by rubbing of you quicken Your spirits. Then whistle your goldfinches (your gallants) to your fist. Into a Tanerne, Drink stiff, swear stiff; have your music, and your brace, dance, and whiff Tobacco, Till all smoke Again, and split Sir. And do thus, but till the More cuts off her horns; Laugh in the day, and sleep in the night: and this wenching fire will be burned out of you. Alas, poor brother now I pity thee and wo'd do Any thing to help thee to thy longing, but that a Gap must be broken, in another men hedge to rob His orchard, within there Lucam Angelo, give him Music: Music has helped some madmen, let it then Charm him, Love makes fools of the wisest men. Thanks worthy sir. Our humblest duty to my Lord the Duke; If in my Brother's name, and mine, you tender For this his noble love, we both shall rest Highly indebted to you all. Signior, your love. And all fair Fortune's doubled on your self. So: methinks a Lady had more needs have a new pair of lips, then a new pair of gloves, for though they were both of one skin, yet one would wear out sooner then the other; I think these Courtiers have all offices in the Spicery, And taking my lips for sweetmeats, are as saucy with they, as if they were Fees; I wonder Tibaldo thou canst fit still, and not come in for a share; If old Vanni's wife had been here, all the parts about you had moved. So it's, for I'll swear, all this stir is about having a woe man brought to bed; marry I doubt it must be a men lying in. I had rather it were a woman, to tell truth. Sadness, I pity thee, And will to do thee service, venture life, Mine honour being kept spotless. But ask and have. It's yours. Be ruled by me then; in and ashy sheet, Cover these glowing embers of desire. Come, and set hand to paper, I'll indite. Then prithee take this Physic; be not the sea, to drink strange Rivers up, yet still be dry; Be Like a noble stream, continued vet to run betwixt fair banks, which thou mayest call thine own, and let those banks be some fair Ladies arms, fit for thy youth, and birth. I'll hollow them: this Dear runs in my Lords Park, And if you steal it, look to have Bloodhounds scent you. Yes, you shall find venison-sauce dearer then other flesh. Are all my warm cawdles come to this? now I see th'art too far gone, this Lady hath overspent thee therefore settle thine estate, pluck up a good heart, and I'll pen thy will. Bequeathe thy kisses to some Taylor, that Hunt's out wed dings every sunday; Item, Thy sighs to a noise of fiddlers ill paid, thy paleness to a Fencer fighting at sharp, thy want of stomach to one of the Dukes guard. What's that? It's and Instrument ever played on, cause well strung, Who's that come into the Chamber there? O, Mr. Cargo. O sir, I thank your Lord, and this your pains; have him into the Buttery—let me see, Lady, that I love you, I dare swear Like a Lord (I shall have oaths enough then) I send you all that is mine, in hope all shall be mine that is yours, for it stands to reason, that mine being yours, yours should be mine, and yours being mine, mine should be yours. Love me, or I die, If I die, you kill me, If you kill me, I will say nothing, but take the blow patiently. I hold my life this Lord has been bastinadoed, out upon him rammish fox, he stinks hither; Prithee good Bro there read. Is't Gander month with him? How the devil is my may denhead blasted? that among such shoals of Gallants, that swim up and down the Court, no fish bites at the bait of my poor beauty, but this tough Codshead? Sir, I have you. And I going upon so weighty a busi ness, as getting of children, you would have me pin you to my sleeve. You care not so I turn whore to pleasure you. In the flame I'll sing My wings, unless I put the candle out, That you i'th'darke may bring your Hope's about. You have won me. Have a care you cast not your self down too soon now. As for my old Hucksters artillery, I have walls of Chastity strong enough shoot he never so hard, to keep him From making any breach. My best. Mine be your will; O me! what pains we take to bring forth ill! Such a disguise is safe too, since you never but once Were seen there. Send in the fellow there that brought the letter; Why how now? do his legs fail him already? A staff for his declining age. Before he bear your answer let him sleep. Why I would ha'you (tho'you be in woman's apparel) to be your self a man, and do what you come for. Must thou needs at thy first encounter tell her thou art a man, why when you walk together, cannot you begin a tale to her, with once upon a time there was a loving couple that would ving tired themselves with walking, sat down upon a bank, and kissed, and embraced, and played, and so by degrees bring the tale about to your own purpose. Can you not? fie, you are the worst at these things Sir. And the more fool you indeed: you see how the old stinking fox her husband is still rubbing me as if I had the palsy, I'll not have his withered hands (which are as moist as the side of stockfish) lie piddling in my bosom, therefore determine some thing, or farewell. Come on, out with't then. Very good. The clock for your business thus far goes true, but now for me, what shall I do with the old cock in my Roost? No not I believe me, I know not what to do with him, unless I should give him a little Nux vomica, to make him sleep away the night, but brother, to pleasure you, I'll venture a joint, and yet it troubles me too, that I should prove a Traitor to my sex, I do betray and Innocent Lady, to what ill I know not. But Love the author of it will I hope Turn it quite otherwise, and perhaps it may be So welcome to her as a courtesy. We nothing can, Unless man woman help, and woman man. No, fear me not. Mine eyes are full of sleep; I'll follow you. Brother. Such a fury as thou. I'll swear thou hast, for thou hast candled Thy sweet but poisonous language to dishonour Me thy most wretched sister, who no better then a vile Instrument to thy desires, deserves to be stiled, Baud, worse then the bawds. Who every day i'th'weeke shake hands with hell. Thou shalt not then by heaven. My noble brother, Our doings are alike, for by Trebatio (Whom I with honour name) his father's foulness shall be Cut off and crossed. My Lord. Who is there with you? I fear I must entreat you to stay a little. I would be loath to lose all upon rest, For mine honour being once cracked. Say you should get me with child. Is the night hushed? I'll do that then, which some Citizens will not do, to some Lord. Take your word, I come. What's the matter sir? My most loved Lord, step you aside, I would not have you seen for the saving of my right hand, preserve mine honour, as I preserve your love. To and unworthy window, who is thus kind? Trebatio. Neither of both good sir; Pray play upon some other, you a buse me, And that which seems worse, in your father's house. But you are young enough to be forgiven, If you will mend hereafter, the night has in it Unwholesome fogs, and blasts; to bed my Lord, Least they attach your beauty: nothing more, I'll pay you for your song. Now in good sooth my Lord, she has but used you As watermen use their fares, for she looked one way, And rowed another, you but wore her glove, The hand was Angeloes, and she dealt wisely. Let woman never love man, or if she do, Let him never know it, make him write, wait woe, Court, cog, and curse, and swear, and lie, and pine, Till Love bring him to death's door, else he's not mine, That flesh eats sweetest that's picked close to the bone, Water drinks best, that's hewed even from the stone; Men must be put to it home. Since such good gamesters are together met, As you Like this, we'll play another set.