FORTUNATUS

S Worser, ho, ho, ho, ho. There boy. And thou be'st a goodfellow, tell me how thou callest this wood. I this wood, & which is my best way out Would, would, would, thats true, my best way out, is my best way out, but how that out will come in, by this Maggot I know not, I see by this we are all worms meat: well, I am very poor and very patient, Patience e is a virtue: would I were not virtuous, thats to say, not poor, but full of vice, (thats to say, full of chinks) Would, would, so I am, for I am so full of chinks, that a Horse with one eye may look through and through me, I have sighed long, and that makes me win die: I have fasted long, and that makes me chased, marry I have prayed little, and that makes me I still dance in this coniu ring circle: I have wandered long, and that makes me weary; but for my weariness, anon I'll lie down, in stead of fasting isle feed upon Nuts, and in stead of sighing will laugh and be lean, Sirrah, Echo. Crack it. Hang thy self. Th'art a knave, a knave. Would, would, would, would. Are not these comfortable words to a wise man? All hail Signior tree, by your lean isle sleep under your leaves, I pray bow to me, and isle bend to you, for your back and my brows must, I doubt, have a game or two at Noddy err I wake again: down great heart, down. Heigh, ho, well, well. No more curse on: your cries to me are Music, And fill the sacred roundure of mine ears, With tunes more sweet then moving of the Spheres: Curse on: on our celestial brows do fit Un numbered , which then leaps from their throne, When they see Peasants dance and Monarchs groan. Behold you not this Globe, this golden bowl, This toy called world at our Imperial feet? This world is Fortune's ball wherewith she sports. Sometime I strike it up into the air, And then create I Emperors and kings: Sometime I spurn it: at which spurn crawls out That wild beast multitude: curse on you fools, 'Tis I that tumble Princes from their thrones, And gild false brows with glittering diadems, 'Tis I that tread on necks of Conquerors, And when Like Semigods they have been drawn, In Ivory Chariots to the capital, Circled about with wonder of all eyes, The shouts of every tongue, love of all hearts, Being swollen wit their own greatness, I have pricked The bladder of their pride, and made them die, As water bubbles (without memory) I thrust base cowards into Honours chair, While the true spirited Soldier stands by Bore headed, and all bore, while, at his skarres They scoff, that never durst view the face of wars. I set and Idéots cap on virtues head, Turn learning out of doors, cloth wit in rags, And paint ten thousand Images of Leame, In gawdy silken colours on the backs Of Mules and Asses I make asses ride, Only for sport, to see the Apish world Worship such beasts with found idolatry. This Fortune does, and when this is done, She sits and smiles to hear some curse her name, And some with adoration crown her fame. How sweet your howlings relish in mine ears? Stand by; now rise, behold, here lies a wretch, She comes down. To vex your souls, this beggar isle advance Beyond the sway of thought, take instruments, And let the raptures of choice Harmony, Through the hollow windings of his ear, Music a while, and he waketh Carry their sacred sounds, & wake each sense, To stand amazed at our bright Eminence. Dread Goddess, how should such a wretch as I Be known to such a glorious deity? O pardon me: for to this place I come, Led by my fate, not folly; in this wood With weary sorrow have I wandered, And three times seen the sweating Sun take rest, And three times frantic Cynthia naked ride, About the rusty highways of the skies Stuck full of burning Stars, which lent her light To Court her Negro paramour grim night. I fevery name (dread Queen) be there writ down. I am sure mine stands in Characters of black, Though happiness her self lie in my name, I am sorrows heir, and eldest son to shame. O, whither am I wrap't beyond my self? More violent conflicts fight in e'rie thought, Than his whose fatal choice Troy's downfall wrought. Shall I contract my self to wisdoms love? Then I loose riches: And a wiseman poor, Is Like a sacred book thats never read, To himself he lives, and to all else seems dead. This age thinks better of a gilded fool, Then of a thread bore Saint in wisdoms school. I will be strong: then I refuse long life, And though mine arm should conquer twenty world's, Theres a lean fellow beats all conquerors: The greatest strength expires with lose of breath. The mightiest (in one minute) stoop to death. Then take long life, or Health: should I do so, I might grow ugly, and that tedious Scroll Of Months and years, much misery may enrol: Therefore isle beg for beauty; yet I will not, The fairest cheek hath oftentimes a soul Leprous as sin it self; then hell more foul. The wisdom of this world is Idiotism, Strength a weak reed: Health sickness enemy, (And it at length will have the victory.) Beauty is but a painting, and long life Is a long journey in December gone, Tedious and full of tribulation. Therefore dread sacred Empress make me rich, Kneel down. My choice is store of gold; the rich are wise. He that upon his bark rich garments wears, Is wise, though on his head grow Midas ears. Gold is the strength, the sinews of the world, The Health, the soul, the beauty most divine, A mask of Gold hides all deformities; Gold is heavens physic, life's restorative, O therefore make me rich: Not as the wretch, That only serves lean banquets to his eye, Has Gold, yet starves: is famished in his store: No, let me ever spend, be never poor. First will I wake your senses with the found Of golds sweet music: tell me what you hear? Shadow: I'll try thine ears, hark dost rattle? Bid your eyes blame the error of your ears: You misbeléeuing Pagans, see, heres gold, Ten golden pieces: take them, Ampedo. Hold, Andelocia, here are ten for Thee. Stay, boy: hold, Shad. here are ten for Thee. Now tell me, wags, hath my purse gold or no? Peace, Ampedo: talk not of poverty, Disdain, my boys, to kiss the Tawny cheeks Of lean necessity: make not inquiry, How I came rich: I am rich, let that suffice; There are sour leathern bags trust full of gold: Those spent, isle fill you more: go lads, be gallant: Shine in the streets of Cyprus Like two stars, And make them bow their knees that once did spurn you; For to effect such wonders gold can turn you: Brave it in Famagusta, or else where, I'll travel to the Turkish Emperor: And then isle revel it with Prester John, Or banquet with great Cham of Tartary, And try what frolic Court the Sultan keeps; I'll leave you presently: tear off these rags. Glitter, my boys Like Angels, that the world May (while our life in pleasures circle comes) Wonder at Fortunatus and his sons. Servants of this bright devil & that poor Saint. Apply your talk while you are labouring: To make your pains seem short our priest shall sing. Flourish or wither, Fortune cares not which, In either's fallen or height our Eminence Shines equal to the Sun: the Queen of chance Both virtuous souls and vicious does advance. These shadows of your selves shall (Like your selves,) Strive to make men enamoured of their beauty's, This grove shall be our temple; and henceforth Be consecrated to our deities. Poor Virtue, Fortune grieves to see thy looks Want cunning to entice: Why hang these leaves, As lose as Antumnes hair (which every wind, In mockery blows from his rotten brows?) Why Like a drunkard art thou pointed at? Why is this Motley-scorn set on thy head? Why stands thy Court wide open, but none in it? Why are the Crystal pavements of thy temple, Not worn, not trod upon: All is for this, Because thy pride is to wear base attire, Because thine eyes flame not with amorous fire. Poor fool, 'tis not this badge of purity, Nor Sibi sapit, (painted on thy breast,) Allures mortality to seek thy love. No: now the great wheel of thy Globe hath run, And met his first point of creation. On Crutches went this world but yesterday, Now it lies bedrid; and is grown so old, That its grown young, for 'tis a child again, A childish soul it hath, 'tis a mere fool: And sooles and children are well pleased with toys: So must this world, with shows it must be pleased. Then Virtue, buy a golden face Like Vice, And hang thy bosom full of silver Moons, To tell the credulous world, As those increase, As the bright Moon swells in her pearled Sphere, So wealth and pleasures them to heaven shall rear. Mourn in that pride & die; all the world hates Thee. Virtue begins to quarrel: Vice, farewell. It will be rare: adieu. Fortune shall judge who wins the sovereignty. I am that Fortunatus, mighty Sultan. I gave it to the Turkish Soliman, A second I bestowed on Prester John, A third the great Tartarian Cham received: For with these Monarchs have I banqueted, And rid with them in triumph through their courts, In crystal Chariots drawn by Unicorns. England, France, Spain, and wealthy Belgia, And all the rest of Europes blessed daughters, Have made my covetous eye rich in the embrace Of their celestial beauty's; now I come To see the glory of fair Babylon. Is Fortunatus welcome to the Soldan? For I am Like the Sun, if Jove once chide, My gilded brows from amorous beaven I hide. Ere I depart, The Soldan shall receive one at my hands: For I must spend some time in framing it, And then some time to breathe that virtuous spirit Into the heart thereof, all which is done By a most sacred inspiration. Hath ever mortal eye beheld these wonders? By Fortune's blessed hand (who christened me,) The mighty Sultan shall have such a purse, Provided I may see these priceless wonders. Exeunt Nobles. It is impossible. A course felt Hat? is this the precious Jewel? What needs this solemn conjuration? I will not violate, But now un of this Hat. None lis what needs this jealousy? O, had I such a Hat, then were I brave. Where he that made it? Would I were now in Cyprus with my sons. Exit. Touch me not, boys, I am nothing but air, let none speak to me, till you have marked me well. Regard him not, Ampedo: Andelocia, Shadow: view me, am I as you are, or am I transformed? Thats not my fault, age is Like love, it cannot be hid. Shadow, turn thy tongue to a shadow, be silent: Boys be proud, your Father hath the whole world in this compass, I am all felicity, up to the brummes. In a minute am I come from Babylon, I have been this half hour in Famagusta. I have cut through the air Like a Falcon; I would have it seem strange to you. But 'tis true: I would not have you believe it neither But 'tis miraculous & true: desire to see you, brought me to Cyprus; isle leave you more Gold, and go visit more Countries. What pleasure, boy? I have reueld with kings, danced with Queens, dallied with Ladies, worn strange attires, seen fantastic S, conversed with humorists, been ravished with divine raptures of Doric, Lidian and Phrigi and harmonies, I have spent the day in triumphs, and the night in banquesting. Vanities? Ampedo, thy soul is made of led, too dull, too ponderous to mount up to the incomprehensible glow rye, that travel lifts men to. In some Courts shall you see ambition Fit piecing Daedelus old waxed wings, But being clapped on, and they about to fly, Even when their Hope's are busied in the clouds, They melt against the Sun of majesty, And down they tumble to destruction: For since the heavens strong arms teach kings to stand, Angels are placed about their glorious throne, To guard it from the strokes of Traitorous hands. By travel, boys, I have seen all these things, Fantastic compliment stalks up and down, Tricked in outlandish Feathers, all his words, His looks, his oaths, are all ridiculous, All apish, childish, and Italianate. By travel, boys, I have seen all these things. In these two hands do I gripe all the world. This leather purse, and this bald woollen Hat Make me a Monarch: heres my Crown and Sceptre. In progress will I now go through the world. I'll crack your shoulders, boys, with bags of gold Ere I depart; on Fortune's wings I ride, And now fit in the height of humane pride. Oh sacred deity, what sin is done All kneel. That death's Iron fist should wrestle with thy son? Forgive me, I will be more provident. O, let me live, but till I can redeem. I am but now lifted to happiness. Take this again; give wisdom to my sons. Oh Ampedo, I faint help me, my sons. Let him shrink down, & die between your arms, Help comes in vain. No hand can conquer Fate, This instant is the last of my life's date. This Goddess (if at least she be a goddess) Names her self Fortune: wandering in a wood, Half famished, her I met. I have, quoth she, Six gifts to spend upon mortality, Wisdom, strength health, beauty, long life and riches, Out of my bounty one of these is thine. Listen, my sons: In this small compass lies, Infinite treasure: this she gave to me, And gave to this, this virtue, Take (quoth she) So often as from hence thou drawest thy hand, Ten golden pieces of that kingdoms coin, Where ere thou livest, which plenteous sure shall last, After thy death, till thy sons lives do waste. It had been so, if riches had been mine. Never. Inherit you (my Sons) that golden land. This Hat I brought away from Babylon, I robbed the Sultan of it, 'tis a prize Worth twenty Empires. In this Jewel lies. Set it upon thy head, and with a wish, Thou in the moment on the winds swift wings, Shalt be transported into any place. Vice sets too heavy on his drowsy soul, Music sweet concord cannot pierce his ear. Sing and amongst your Songs, mix bitter scorn. To her hath Andelocia (all his life) Sworn fealty, wouldst thou forsake her now? Hers, who (attended on by destinies) Shortened thy Father's life, and lengthens thine. Kneels. Woo her, was she that set it on thy head. No Andelecia, thou must live to see Worse torments (for thy follies) light on Thee. This golden tree, which did thine eyes entice, Was planted here by Vice: lo, here stands Vice: How often hast thou sued to win her grace? Thou didst behold her at thy father's death, When thou in scorn didst violate his will, Thou didst behold her, when thy strecht-out arm Catched at the highest bough, the loftiest vice, The fairest Apple, but the foulest price. Thou didst behold her, when thy lickerish eye Fed on the beauty of fair Agripyne, Because th'adst gold, thou thoughtest all women thine, When lookest thou off from her? for they whose souls Still revel in the nights of vanity, On the fair cheeks of Vice still fix their eye. Because her face does shine, and all her bosom Bears silver Moons, thou wast enamord of her. But hadst thou upward looked, and seen these shames, Or viewed her round about, and in this glass Seen Idiots faces, heads of devils and hell, And read this would, would, he, this merry story, Thou wouldst have loathed her: where, by loving her, Thou bearest this face, and wearest this ugly head, And if she once can bring Thee to this place, Loud sounds these would, would, he, shéele laugh apace. I cannot re-transforme Thee, woo this woman. Fool, clear thine eyes, this is bright Arete, This is poor Virtue, care not how the world Does crown her head, the world laughs her to scorn, Yet Sibi sapit, Virtue knows her worth. Run after her, shéele give Thee these and these Crowns and Bay-garlands: (honours victories:) Serve her, and she will fetch Thee pay from heaven, Or give Thee some bright office in the stars. That shall be tried, take fruit from both these trees, By help of them, win both thy purse and Hat, I will instruct Thee how, for on my wings To England shalt thou ride; thy virtuous brother Is (with that Shadow who attends on Thee,) In London, there isle set Thee presently. But if thou loose our favours once again, To taste her sweets, those sweets must prove thy bane. Peace, Idiot, thou shalt find rich heaps of fools, That will be proud to entertain a Shadow. I charm thy babbling lips from troubling me. You needs not hold them, see, I smite them down Lower then hell: base souls, sink to your heaven. Stand not amazed, you gods of earth, at this, She that arresteth these two fools is Vice, They have broke Virtues laws, Vice is her serfeant, Her Jailer and her executioner. Look on those Cypriots, Fortunatus sons, They and their Father were my minions, My name is Fortune. Kneel not to me: if Fortune list to frown, You need not fall down, for shaele spurn you down Arise, but fools, on you isle triumph thus. What have gained by being covetous? This prodigal purse did Fortune's bounteous hand Bestow on them, their riots made them poor, And set those marks of miserable death, On all their pride, the famine of base gold Hath made your souls to murders hands be sold, Only to be called rich But Idiots see The virtues to be fled, Fortune hath caused it so, Those that will all devour, must all forgo. As for these Mettle-eaters, these base thiefs, Who rather then they would be counted poor, Will dig through hell for gold, you were forgiven By Virtues general pardon; her broad seal Gave you your lives, when she took off your horns. Yet having scarce one foot out of the Jail, You tempt damnation by more desperate means, You both are mortal, and your pains shall ring Through both your ears, to terrify your souls As please the Judgement of this mortal king. She that hath conquers Thee; how darest thou come, Thus tricked in gawdy Feathers, and thus guarded, Which crowned kings and Muses, when thy foe Hath trod thus on thee, and now triumphs so? Where's virtuous Ampedo? See, he's her slave, For following Thee this recompense they have. Thou art too insolent, see here's a court Of mortal Judges, lets by them be tried, Which of us three shall most be deifide. And I. Virtue, I see, Thou wilt triumph both over her and me. Why do you mock me? Kneel not to me, to her transfer your eyes, There sits the Queen of Chance, I bend my knees, Lower then yours: dread goddess, 'tis most meet, That Fortune fallen down at thy conquering feet. Thou sacred Empress that commandest the Fates, Forgive what I have to thy handmaid done, And at thy Chariot wheels Fortune shall run, And be thy captive and to thee resign All powers which heavens large Patent have made mine. Heres a Nut. Thine own self loves thy self: why on the heads Of Agripyne, Montresse and Longauyle, (English, Scot, French) did Vice clap ugly horns, But to approve that English, French and Scot, And all the world else, kneel and honour Vice, But in no Country, Virtue is of price? Why so, two fools laugh at one another, I at my little tattle gammer echo, and she at me. Shortly there will creep out in print some filthy book of the old boarie won dring Knight, meaning me: would I were that book, for then I should be sure to creep out from hence: I should be a good soldier, for I traverse my ground rarely, marry I see nei there enemy nor friends, but Popinjays, and Squirrels, and Apes, and Owls, and Daws, and Wagtails, and the spite is that none of these grass-eaters can speak my language, but this fool that mocks me, and swears to have the last word (in spite of my tooth) I, and she shall have it because she is a woe man, which kind of cattle are indeed all Echo, nothing but tongue, and are Like the great bell of S. Michaels in Cyprus, that keeps most rumbling when men would most sleep. Why so, Snip snap, this war is at and end, but this wilderness is world without end, to see how travel can transform: my teeth are turned into Nut crackers, a thousand to one I break out shortly, for I am full of nothing, but wax king kernels, my tongue speaks no language but and Almond for Parrat, and crack me this Nut: If I hop three days more up and down this cage of Coockooes nests, I shall turn wild man sure, and be hired to throw Squibs among the Counterfeit ̄ minal tie upon some terrible day. In the mean time to tell truth here will I lie. Farewell fool. O, how am I transported? Is this earth? Or blessed Elizium? O most divine: Give me but leave to borrow wonders eye, To look (amazed) at thy bright majesty, Wisdom, strength, health, beauty, long life and riches, Daughters of Jove and the unblemished night, Most righteous Parce, guide my Genius right, Wisdom, strength, health, beauty, long life, and riches. Thanks, great deity. But now go dwell with cares and quickly die? How quickly? if I die to morrow, isle be merry to day: if next day, isle be merry to morrow: go dwell with cares? Where dwells care? Hum would, in what house dwells care, y to I may choose and honester neighbour? In princes courts? No, among fair La die, neither, theres no care dwells with them: but care how to be most gallant. Among gallants the ̄ ? Fie, fie, no: care is afraid sure of a gilded Rapier, the sent of Musk is her prison. Tobac continued chokes her, rich attire presseth her to death. Princes, fair Ladies and gallants, have amongst you then, for this wet eyed wench Care dwells with wretches: they are wretches that feel want, I shall feel none if I be never poor, therefore care I casheire you my company. I wonder what blind Gos sip this minx is that is so prodigal, she should be a good one by her open dealing: her name's Fortune: Its no matter what she is, so she does as she says. Thou shalt spend ever, and be ne ver poor : Mass, yet I feel nothing here to make me rich, heres no sweet Music with her silver found. Try deeper h G worser be here: Would, would, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10, good, joust ten. Its gold sure, its so heavy, try again, 1, 2, &c. Good a gain, joust ten, and joust ten. Would, would, would, this is rare a leather mint, admirable: and Indian mine in a Lambs skin, mira culous: I'll fill thré or four bags full for my sons, but keep this for my self. If that lean Tawny face Tobacconist death, that turns all into smoke, must turn me so quickly in to ashes, yet I will not mourn in ashes, but in Music, heigh old lad be merry. Heres riches, wisdom, strength, health, beau tie, & long life. (If I die not quickly, sweet purse I kiss Thee, Fortune, I adore Thee, Care, I despise Thee, death, I defy Thee. Dear Andelocia and son Ampedo, And my poor servant Shadow: plume your spirits With light-winged mirth: for Fortunatus hand Can now pour golden showers into their laps, That sometime scorned him for his want of gold. Boys, I am rich, and you shall never be poor; We are gold, spend gold, we all in gold will feed, Now is your father Fortunate indeed. No does? by what trick shall I make this mine? Aside. Me thinks, me thinks, when you are born over Seas, And over lands, the heaviness thereof Should weigh you down, drown you, or break your neck. O, 'tis wondrous heavy. For still in all the Regions I have seen, I scorned to crowd among the muddy throng Of the rank multitude, whose thickened breath, Like to condensed Fogs do choke that beauty, Which else would dwell in every kingdoms cheek. No, I still boldly stepped into their Courts, For there to live 'tis rare, Oh 'tis divine; There shall you see faces Angelical, There shall you see troops of chased Goddesses, Whose starlike eyes have power, (might they still shine) To make night day, and day more christalline. Near these you shall behold great Heroes, White headed Councillors and Jovial spirits, Standing Like fiery Cherubins to guard The Monarch, who in Godlike glory sits. In amid of these, as if this deity Had with a look created a new world; The standers by, being the fair workmanship. Oh Andelocia, Ampedo, now death Sounds his third summons: I must hence: these Jewels To both I do bequeathe; divide them not, But use them equally; never bewray What virtues are in them; for if you do, Much shame, much grief, much danger follows you. Peruse this book: farewell: behold in me The rotten strength of proud mortality. Dies. When in the warmth of mine own countries arms We yawned Like sluggards, when this small Horizon Imprisoned up my body, then mine eyes Worshipped these clouds as brightest; but, my boys, The glistering beams which do abroad appear, (In other heavens) fire is not half so clear.