in If It Be Not Good, the Devil Is in It (If This Be Not a Good Play, the Devil Is in It) — Dekker, Thomas
Metadata
Play
If It Be Not Good, the Devil Is in It (If This Be Not a Good Play, the Devil Is in It)
Author
Dekker, Thomas
Year (catalogued)
1612
First performance
1611
Decade
1610s
Genre
Comedy
Play type
Adult Professional
Company
Queen Anne's Men
Theater
Red Bull;Outdoor Professional
Speech prefix(es)
Plu. | Pln. | Plu: | Plut. | Pl • . | Luc: | Luc.
Words
1327
Characters
7293
Typicality
0.26 (cosine to cluster centroid)
TCP id
A20066
BritDrama no.
1641
Cluster
Cluster 22 — Ghosts, curses & horror voices
Important excerpts
No keyword-matching excerpt could be extracted (the cluster label doesn't share vocabulary with this character's speech).
Full speech
H ! What so. Wha slave? His Fare. Do: And make hell stink, as that does hither. How? Twist stronger-knotted whips, I'll wake you (slaves!) Would; Are there whipping-posts for such as dwell In Idleness on Earth, and yet shall Hell (As if we took bribes here too,) let such pass I'll have you tawde: Is not the world as was? Once mother of R pes, Incests, and Sodomies, Atheism, and Blasphemies, plump Boys indeed. That sucked (our Dams breast) is she now barren? Would Is there a dearth of villains? Is there such pe urie of mankind Hellhounds You can lie snoring. Yet you playing here. Were you good Hellhounds, every day should be A Simon -and- Jude, to crown our board with Feasts A blacke-eyde-soules each minute: were you honest devil Each officer in hell should have at least, A brace of whores to his breakfast: above us dwell, Devils braver and more subtle then in Hell. I'll try that: go: Rufman, take instantly a Courtiers shape Oh any country: choose thine own disguise And return swiftly. Shackle-soul wear thou A Friars graven habit. Grumshall walk thou In treble-ruffs Like a Merchant. The bars of our latigious Courts had wont To crack with thronging pleaders, whose loud din Shook the infernal hell, as if it had been And earthquake bursting from the deep Abyss, Or else Jove's thunder, thrown at the head of Dis (The God of gold,) for hiding it below, Thereby to tempt churls hither. Nor did we know What a Vacation meant: continual term Fattend hels Lawyers, and shall so again. Fly into the world: As are in shapes transformde be so in name, For men are our sides only: be you the same; thee to N pl S, (Rufm n), thou shalt find A Prince there (newly crowned,) ap lie de To any bendin least his youthful brows at Stars only, weigh down his loftiest boughs lead plome poison his best thoughts with taste Oh thing most sensual; if the heart once wast The body feels consumption; good or bade kings Breed Subjects Like them: clear streams flow from clear springs. Turn therefore Naples to a puddle: with a civil Much promising face, and well oylde play the court devil. Do: Be thou a city-devil, make thy hands Oh Harpies claws, which being on courtiers la ̄ ds Oh ce fastened, never let lose, the Merchant play, And on the Burse, see thou thy flag display. Of politic b n k-rupt S e: train up as many To f ght under it, as that canst, for now's not any That break, (theile break their necks first) if, beside Thou canst no through the whole city meet with pride, Riot, lechery, enu , , and such stuff, B king they all-in coached, the gares are wide enough. The spirit of gold instruct thee: hence all. Sta , le st you should want helpers at your calling Any devils sh ll come, (S arch hound, Tobacco-spawling, Upshotten, Suckland, Glitterbacke, or any Whom you shall need to employ, but call not many, The'rs but ewe good in hell. And stay, remember We all meet to hear how you prosper. The Tree Blasted with Goblins, that bout whose root 5. Mandrakes grow, 'th Grove by Naples there, Meet there. Our blessings with you bear. Be quick th'at best, let saw y mortals know, How ere they sleep, there's one wakes here below. Fetch whips of poisoned steel, strung with glou king wires. And lash these saucy hellhounds: duck their souls, Nine times tot'n bottom of our brimstone Lake's, From whence up pull them by their singed hair, Then hang in ropes of ice nine times frozen over: Are they scarce hight in hell, and must they roar? What holliday's this? that heres such grinning, would! Is hell a dancing School? yare in extremes, Snoring, or else horn-mad? who are set on shore, On this vast land of horror, that it resounds, With laughter stead of shrieks, who are come to our bounds? would! Their names: Is Ward and Dantziker then come? Where the dutch Schellum? where hells factor ? Who is it then? Cutlar the Sergeant: would! he come. Devils! who is it then? Mall Cutpurse is she come? Where is our daughter? would? Is she idle? For whom then S this wild Shrovetuesday kept? Stay, since our Jail is with brave-fellows stored, Bid Charon that no more yet come aboard. Seeing our Judges of hell here likewise are Fit: call a Sessions: set the souls to a bar. Minos (the joust:) Rhadamanth (the temperate.) And Aeacus (the severe,) each take his state. What damned fiends are those dare make this noise? Now proceed. Ho, ho, what country devil is this? Another. Whats he? what starvelings this? Starve him away— What was he when he lived. Is here all? What Peter Goner's this? What does he? His name. Pay him his hire: He has a desperate rakehels face. Make much of this our ningle: for the res Deliuer'em to our head-hangman. In a twinkling. Minos, thy doom is joust;—But your all-fac'de Cai ffs.) What fi h in your infernal Nets, Drew you up Ith N pl S Court, and rierie? We chard'de you sail thither: Is mischiefs River there worser j? None come fro'th City, so many bade being there! Hence with him the, Churl's mad: In Lethes -flood drowned all the wealth he had. Are there any more of his Synagogue? Theile confound our kingdom, If here they get but footing: rise therefore, away; Keep the Jury of brokers till our next court day. Set forward to our Hall paved all with brass, Judges we thank you: let our officers drink, I'th bottom of hells cellar, for their good service. Since to this heighth our Empire up you rear, Hell hall hold umphes, and (thats done,) prepare, Again to walk your circuits over the earth, Souls are hells Subjects, and then groan our mirth. Why? Ugly, grumbling slave, Have I not raised thy price? yet still dost crave? Such bold brave beggars (herd off never before Are thy fares now, they teach thee to beg more. Thy fare was (first) a halfpenny, then the souls gave thee A penny, then three-halfe-pence, we shall have thee (As market-folks on darth,) so damned-dear, Men will not come to hell, crying out th'are here Worse rack then th'are in taverns: why dost howl for money? Thou shalt not. Get thee gone: That called for. Pluto, no wonder if so few hither comes? With a mischief! cabind! a fury. Fly Shackle-soul. To the Friery, Best-samde in Naples for strict order: throw What n ts thou seest can catch them: Amongst they sow Seeds of contention, or what ever sin They most abhor, sweat thou to bring that in. Rich-me ̄ in hell! they are welcome, whats the grey beard Where's Ward? The bawd of Shorditch, Is that helleat come? Are they all so black as he is? This is the tree. Go, ply your works, our Sessions are at hand. And this ( I am sure 'tis this) the horrid grove Where witches broods engender, (our p ace of meeting.) And this the hideous black infernal hour: Would no appearance yet? if their least minute Our vassals break, sink shall these trees to hell. This grove isle turn into a brimstone lake Which shall be ever-burning. Not yet come Oooh! Stand forth. And here unladen you of that precious reight For which you went, (men's souls;) what voyage is made? Good. Are all then good ith City? Serve him up,—stands up. Has Rush lyen idle? Kick his guily soul hither. But what have you done? nothing. 'Twill be a festival day When those sweet Ducks comes to us: lose they not: go: More souls you pay to hell, the less you owe. This Ewe-tree blast with your hot-scorching breath, mark, (toth' witch who next sits here) of death.
Plot summary
Plot — If It Be Not Good, the Devil Is in It (If This Be Not a Good Play, the Devil Is in It)
Hell has a population problem: so few new souls are arriving that Charon’s earnings are in decline, but Pluto is reluctant to allow him to raise his fare lest the new price should prove a deterrent. Instead, he sends devils to Naples in human disguise to tempt people into sin in the court, the abbey, and the city. They are later to rendezvous in a grove to report their progress. Ruffman goes to court, assuming the identity of the foreign courtier Bohor. The newly crowned King of ===== PAGE 144 ===== Is In It Naples, Alfonso, intends to be a just and godly ruler, and plans out his week to devote each day toa different state task. Bohor persuades him to spend more time on pleasure and less on duty, so Saturday is designated a day of hedonism. Alfonso proclaims a reward for whoever entertains him best, and Bohor wins with a display of airborne fireballs. Alfonso’s devotion to pleasure starts to extend beyond Saturdays, and he neglects his state duties. He also breaks off his engagement with Princess Ermenhild, who retires to a convent and lets it be known that she is dead. Shackle-Soul becomes Friar Rush, a novice in the abbey. On learning that the friars eat frugally, he tempts them to gluttony and is appointed the abbey cook. Only Clement, the Sub-Prior, dissents, and Rush identifies him as an enemy who will have to be dealt with. He also makes an enemy of Scumbroth, his predecessor as cook, when he lays an untrue accusation of unchastity. Obtaining gold from a spirit, he tempts Clement: when Clement goes to fetch water, he finds his pot filled instead with gold, which he gives away to Scumbroth. After squandering the money, Scumbroth returns to the grove to get more, witnesses the diabolic rendezvous there, and realizes that Friar Rush is a devil. Ermenhild hears that her father, the Duke of Calabria, has declared war on Naples over her apparent death. She asks Friar Clement to deliver him a letter establishing that she is in fact alive. Clement continues to withstand Rush’s temptations, proving insensible to the pleasures of music, dancing, and voluptuous women, and is steadfast even when Rush reverts to diabolic form and tells him he is to die that night. Grumball adopts the name Lurchall and enters the service of the corrupt merchant Bartervile, who attempts to cheat his client Innocentio: the terms of Innocentio’s loan require him to repay it at a set time, or else his mortgaged estate will revert to Bartervile; so Bartervile tries unsuccessfully to…