GEORGE

I, isle besworne, for we have a . What is't you lack? Faith signior, he's a little negotiated, he'll appear presently. The best in all Mill n, Gentlemen, and this is the piece. I can it you Gentlemen with fine calicoes too for dub lets, the only sweet fashion now, most delicate and courtly, a meek gentle calico, cut upon two double affable taffataes, ah, most neat, feat, and . I, and the purest she that ever you fingerd since you were a gentleman: look how even she is, look how clean she is, would, as even as the brow of Cinthia, and as clean as your sons and heirs when they would spent all. How? is she rough? but if you bid pox on't sir, 'twill take away the roughness presently. Look you Gentleman, heeres and other, compare them I pray, compara Virgilium cum Flomero, compare virgins with harlot . You may see further for your mind, but trust me you shall not find better for your body. Enter Candido. The gentlemen find fault with this lawn, fallen out with it, and without a cause too. Sfoot mistress, I warrant these are some cheating companions. I told you before mistress, they were all cheaters. The Constable sir, let'em come along with me, because there should be no wondering, he stays at door. See Gentlemen, what you lack? a fine Holland, a fine Cambrick, see what you buy. Doo't. Doo't: away, doo't. I, in a cause so honest, weel not suffer Our Master's goods to vanish money less. He calls us Flatcaps, and abuses us. Troth sir, were it any but you, they would break open chest. I hope you do not think sir, as you mean. Here, sir, here's the Carpet. Enter George. No, but heel make you swear anon: no indeed, he went away Like a lamb. Against my master? Well, what is't? It'll wrong my Master's patience. Well, if yowl save me harmless, and put me under covert bairn, I am content to please you provided it may breed no wrong against him. Suffer this, sir, & suffer all, a whoreson Gull, to—, But in the mean time she makes and Ass of some body. Flatcap hark in your ear sir, yare a flat fool, and Ass, a gull, & I'll thrum you: do you see this cambrick sir? I laugh? not I sir. Yes forsooth, his back is but new turned. I thank you mistress, my back's broad enough, now my Masters gown's on. It a good Comedy of errors that i'faith. That can I, but I will not. Troth Mistress nothing: not so much as a Be, he did not hum: not so much as a bawd he did not hem: not so much as a Cuekold he did not would: neither hum, hem, nor would, only starde me in the face, passed along, and made hast in, as if my looks had worked with him, to give him a stool. Nay let me alone to play my masters prize, as long as my Mistress warrants me: Ime sure I have his best clothes on, and I scorn to give place to any that is inferior in appa rell to me, thats and Axiom, a principle, & is observed as much as the fashion; let that persuade you then, that lie shoulder with him for the upper hand in the shop, as long as this chain will maintain it. Umh, umh, hum. Step sirrah and fetch it, hum, hum hum. Sfoot clubs, clubs, prentices, down with em, ah you rogues, strike a Citizen in's shop. Your head bleeds sir, cry clubs. Yes sir, weel use em Like honest men. But are you mad indeed Master? Come weel see whither he goes, if the master be mad, we are his servants, and must follow his steps, weel be mad caps too; Farewell mistress, you shall have us all in Bedlam. Exeunt. Here comes one of the butter flies, ask him. Oh yes, of all countries some, but especially mad Greeks they swarm: troth mistress, the world is altered with you, you had not wont to stand thus with a paper humbly come plaining: but you're well enough served: prouander pricked you, as it does many of our City-wives beside. Why your best go see. Afraid! you had more needs be ashamed: he may ra there be afraid of you. Nay I know not that, but he talks Like a Justice of peace, of a thousand matters and to no purpose. I, idem feign see a woman weep out her eyes; thats as true, as to say, a men cloak burns; when it hangs in the water: I know yowl weep mistress, but what says the pain ted cloth. Trust not a woman when she cries, For sheele pump water from her eyes, With a wet finger, and in faster showers, Then April when he reins down flowers. I but mistress how easily will they find a cause, and as one of our Cheese-trenchers says very learnedly: As out of Wormwood Bees suck Honey, As from poor clients Lawyers firk money, As Parsley from a roasted cunny. So though the day be never so sunny, If wives will have it rain, down then it drives, The calmest husbands make the stormest wives, Why thats well done, good mistress throw aside this fashion of your humour, be not so fantastical in wearing it, storm no more, long no more.—This longing has made you come short of many a good thing that you might have had from my Master: Here comes the Duke. And please your grace, he's not stark mad, but one lie talks Like a young Gentleman, somewhat fantastically, thats all: theres a thousand about your court, city and country madder then he. Heres a warrant ready drawn my Lord. Here my Lord. Whoop, come mistress the Duke's mad too. Exeunt. Come mistress we are in Bedlam now, mass and see, we come in pudding-time, for heres the Duke. I cannot find the key sir. It must come over your head, sir, Like a wenches pe ticoate. Indifferent well, sir, for a nightgown, being girded & pleated. Thats true sir, I'll run & fetch one, & a staff. Exit Ge. Now looks my M. joust Like one of our carpet knights, only he's somewhat the honester of the two. Enter Can Dido's wife. Truly mistress I cannot tell, I think yowl hardly get him forth: why 'tis strange Sfoot I have known many wome ̄ that have had mad rascals to their husba ̄ ds, whom they would be labour by all means possible to keep em in their right wits, but of a woman to long to turn a tame ma ̄ into a madman, why the devil himself was never used so by his dam. A rescue Prentices, my maister's catch-pold.