CANDIDO

How now? what's the matter? Without a cause! And that makes you to let'em pass away, Ah, may I crave a word with you gentlemen? I pray come near,-you're very welcome gallants, Pray pardon my men rudeness, for I fear me Ha talked above a prentice with you,-Lawns! Look you kind gentlemen-this! no: I this: Take this upon my honest-dealing faith, To be a true weave, not too hard, nor slack, But eene as far from falsehood, as from black. Very constionably, 18. S a yard. Why, some 17. yards I think, or there about, How much would serve your turn? I pray. Truth, 'tis the best in Milan at few words. Would, would: you're a merry gentleman. Of lawn! Deaf? no Sir: but I must tell you, Our wares do seldom meet such customers. Pray stay, a word, pray Signior: for what purpose is it I beseech you? George, supply the cup. O you must pardon me, I use it not. Yes, but not that: Great love is shown in little. Indeed I shall not. The beaker! O! that at your pleasure sir. You know me sir, I am not of that sin. Thats as you please, 'tis very good. You're welcome gentlemen. Pray let your tongue lie still, all will be well: Come hither George, hie to the Constable, And in calm order wish him to attach them, Make no great stir, because they're gentlemen, And a thing partly done in merriment. 'Tis but a size above a jest thou knowest, Therefore pursue it mildly, go be gone, The Constabl's hard by, bring him along, -make hast a gain. Pray wear a peaceful temper, be my wife, That is, be patient: for a wife and husband Share but one soul between them: this being known, Why should not one soul then agree in one? Exit. O, hear they come. Nay swear not gallants, Your oaths may move your souls, but not move me, You have a silver beaker of my wives. Then you say true. And being gilded, the gilded lies more on you. Then you hope right, for I am not angry. I moved! it you were moved, you were borough hither. Nay you misplace it. Out of my quiet sufferaence I did that, And not of any wrath, had I shown anger, I should have then pursued you with the law, And hunted you to shame, as many worldlings Do built their anger upon feebler grounds, The Moors the pity, many lose their lives For scarce so much coin as will hide their palm: Which is most cruel, those have vexed spirits That pursue lives, in this opinion rest, The lose of Millions could not move my breast. Gentlemen, now 'tis upon eating time, Pray partly not hence, but dine with me to day. The constable shall bear you company, George call him in, let the world say what it can, Nothing can driven me from a patient man. Exeunt. Are you my wives Cozen? Oh, nothing but you're welcome. Angry? not I sir, nay, if she can partly So easily with her Ring, 'tis with my heart. No matter, let they: when I touch her lip, I shall not feel his kisses, no nor miss Any of her lip: no harm in kissing is. Look to your business, pray, make up your wares. What to do wife? to lavish out my goods upon a fool? Nay see, you anger her, George, prithee dispatch. Go fetch them presently. Exit 1. prentice. Why were you such a stranger all this while, being my wives Cozen? How now, what coil is here? forbear, I say. Sister and brother, brother to my wife. Cozen! A name of much deceit, folly and sin, For under that common abused word, Many and honest tempered Cityzen Is made a monster, and his wife trained out To foul adulterous Actium, full of fraud. I may well call that word, A Cities Bawd. Oh, my wife did but exercise a jest upon your wit. Then let this warning more of sense afford. The name of Cozen is a bloody word. Request it of your mistress. Good wife, kind wife, it is a needful trouble, but for my gown. Nay pry thee, sweet, I cannot meet without it, I should have a great fine set on my head. Stay, let me see, I must have some device, My cloke's too short: fie, fie, no cloak will doo't: It must be something fashioned Like a gown, With my arms out: o George, come hither George, I pry thee lend me thine advice. Oh no, break open chest! thats a Thieves office: Therein you counsel me against my blood: 'Twould show impatience that, any meek means I would be glad to embrace. Mass I have God it: Go, step up, fetch me down one of the Carpets, The saddest coloured Carpet, honest George, Cut thou a hold ith middle for my neck, Two for mine arms, nay prithee look not strange. Prithee about it quickly, the hour chides me: Warily George, softly, take heed of eyes, Exit George. Out of two evils he's accounted wise, That can pick out the least; the Fine imposed For and ungowned Senator, is about Forty Cruzadoes, the Carpet not'boue four. Thus have I chosen the lesser evil yet, Preserved my patience, foiled her desperate wit. Oh well done, George, weel cut it joust ith amid: 'Tis very well I thank thee, help it on. Th'art in the right, good George, it must indeed. Fetch me a nightcap: for I'll gird it close, As if my health were queasy: it'll show well For a rude careless nightgown, wil't not thinkest? I, and a nightcap on my head. For thus they cannot choose but construe it, One that is out of health, takes no delight, Wears his apparel without appetite, And puts on heedless raiment without form. Enter Geo. So so, kind George, be secret now: & prithee do not laugh at me till I me out of sighed. Now to the Senate-house: Methinks, Idem rather wear, without a frown, A patient Carpet, then and angry Gown. Exit. Oh peace good Mistress: Enter Crambo and Poli. See what you lack, what is't you buy? pure Calicoes, fine Hollands, choice Cambrickes, neat Lawns: see what you buy? pray come near, my Master will use you well, he can afford you a pennyworth. Pray see your choice here Gentlemen. Be covered George, this chain, and welted gown, Bore to this coat: then the world's upside down Look you Gentlemen, your choice: Cambricks? You shall. None striped sir, but plain. Look you Gentlemen, I'll make but one spread ding, heres a piece of cloth, fine, yet shall wear Like Iron, 'tis without fault, take this upon my word, 'tis without fault. I, and a number more, o that each soul Were but as spotless as this Innocent white, And had as few brakes in it. There was indeed a little flea-biting. He had so. None of you stir I pray, forbear good George. I say you shall not, pray be patient, Give them their weapons, sirs you're best be gone, I tell you here are boys more tough then Bears: Hence, least more fists do walk about your ears. I well said George, Like honest men, though they be ar rant knaves, for thats the praise of the city; help to lay up these wares How now? what news with them? what make they with my wife? officers is she attachd? look to your wares. Now sir, what news with you sir? Change sir, why true sir, is change strange, 'tis not the fashion unless it altar: Monarchs turn to beggars; beg gers creep into the nests of Princes, Masters serve their prentices: Ladies their Servingmen, men turn to women. I, and women turn to men, you say true, would would, a mad world, a mad world. Caught me: well, well: you have caught: me. I pray rest quiet, I desire no rescue. Well, whats the matter? Why, why? Are you at leisure now? well, whats the matter? Why do I enter into bonds thus? would? What? am I mad say you, and I not know it? Bound with strong cord, A Cisters thread i'faith had been enough, To led me any where: Wife do you long? You are mad too, or else you do me wrong. My Wife says so, And what she says; George, is all truth you know: And whither now? to Bethlehem Monastery ? — would! whither? A Gods name, still I feel my patience found. Exe. You are not mad. Then may you know, I am not mad, that know You are not mad, and that you are the duke: None is mad here but one—How do you wife: What do you long for now?—pardon my Lord, She had lost her child's nose else: I did cut out Pennyworth of Lawn, the Lawn was yet mine own: A carpet was yet my gown, yet it mine own, I wore my men coat yet the cloth mine own, Had a cracked crown the crown was yet mine own, She says for this Ime mad, were her words true, I should be mad indeed — o foolish skill, Is patience madness? I'll be a madman still. See my Lord, we are even, Nay rise, for ill-deeds kneel unto none but heaven. Loath it. That which green wounds receive from ̄ sovereign balm, Patience my Lord; why 'tis the soul of peace: Of all the virtues 'tis neerst kin to heaven. It makes men look Like Gods; the best of men That ere wore earth about him, was a sufferer, A soft, meek, patient, humble, tranquil spirit, The first true Gentleman that ever breathed; The stock of Patience then cannot be poor, All it desires, it has; what Monarch more? It is the greatest enemy to law That can be, for it does embrace all wrongs, And so chains up, lawyers and women's tongues. 'Tis the perpetual prisoners liberty: His walks and Orchards: it's the bondslaves freedom, And makes him seem proud of each iron chain. As though he wore it more for state then pain: It is the beggars Music, and thus sings, Although their bodies beg, their souls are kings: Oh my dread liege! It is the sap of bliss, Rears us aloft; makes men and Angels kiss, And (last of all) to end a household strife, It is the honey gainst a waspish wife. A pennyworth! why you shall: I'll serve you presently. What then kind Gentleman? what at this corner here? Just in the middle: -ha-you shall too: what? Have you a single penny? Lend it me I pray. Patience, good wife. Pray Gentlemen take her to be a woman, Do not regard her language.—Oh kind soul: Such words will driven away my customers, Patience, good wife. Look you Gentleman, theres your beware, I thank you, I have your money; hear, pray know my shop, pray let me have your custom. Let me take more of your money. Why Gentlemen Should you conceit me to be vexed or moved? He has my beware, I have his money fort, And thats no Argument I am angry: no, The best Logician can not prove me so. Well, give me leave to answer you for that, Were set here to please all customers, Their humours and their fancies: - ffend none: We get by many, if we lose by one. May be his mind stood to no more then that, A penworth serves him, and amongst trades 'tis found, Deny a pennorth, it may cross a pound. O, he that means to thrive with patient eye, Must please the devil, if he come to buy. And to express how well my breast is pleased , And satisfied in all: - George fill a beaker. Exit George. I'll drink unto that Gentleman, who lately Bestowed his money with me. Here wife, begin you to the Gentleman. George, filt up again: It my fault, my hand shook. Exit George. He e Gentleman to you, I wish your custom, yare exceeding welcome. Peace, George, when ̄ she has reaped what I have sown, Sheele say, one grain tastes better of her own, Then whole sheaves gathered from another's land: Wit's never good, till bought at a deer hand. Are you angry sir, because I nam the fool? Trust me, you are not wife, in mine own house; And to my face to play the Antic thus: If yowl needs play the madman, choose a stage Of lesser compass, where few eyes may note Your actions error; but if still you miss, As here you do, for one clap, ten will hiss. I perceive still it is your natural guise to mistake me, but you are welcome sir, I much wish your acquainta ̄ ce. Signior Pandulfo? I'll be with him straight. Attend your mistress and the Gentleman. Exit. Why, sirs? do such examples flow from me? A Surgeon, run, a Surgeon: Why then wore you that forged name of Cozen? Go with the Surgeon to have great respect. How now, my friend, what, do they fit to day? I than ̄ k your pains, I'll not be last man there. Exit Off. My gown, George, go, my gown. A happy land, Where graven men meet each cause to understand, Whose consciences are not cut out in bribes, To gull the poor men right: but in even scales, Peize rich & poor, without corruptions veils. Come, where the gown? Believe me (sweet) none greets the Senate-house, without his Robe of reverence, that's his Gown. You shall not follow them. Let them alone pray, this did me no harm, Troth I was cold, and the blow made me warm, I thank em for't: beside I had decreed To have a vain pricked, I did mean to bleed, So that theres money saved: they are honest men, Pray use em well, when they appear again.