EMILIA

Feel my self? why with my hands, what and idle question's that? Why fool, as men do on the Land, the great ones eat up the little ones, but Ioculo, I am great, pass sing great, and ready to lie down. Men death of what? And insooth Ioculo at this time I stand in some needs of a witty Mid-wif: but may I trust thee? I will credit thee, and now receive this embri on of knavery, briefly as I deliver it. I understand since our private arrival here at Genoa, that the Duke my father hearing of my surprisal from Mon ta sancta, attended with a hundred Knights, is gone to seek a needle in a bottle of Hay. Teeth, as I have done you sir? If the breaking of the jest kept your teeth whole, it well broken: but to the purpose; as well to try what mettle our Genow aies wits are made of, as also to put my Brother's humour to the test, I intend to dance a pretty change with my name (for by no thing else I am sure they can know me, being in my infancy carried to my Ants at Pisa) then instead of Emilia, call me Tristella. I know not yet, lets walk, and take occasion to confer with them. Ioculo, we are fallen into their eyes. Amen, from such as you. Why then belike I lie. Marry love forbid. Then love hath two tongues, for he tells me no, so pray let's partly. Now fie vpon't, Like Broom-men in the street? You're a young wooer, or else much to rude, To show this kindness before a multitude, But by the blush that colours over your face, You would scarce doo't in a more private place. No, but run a Land: Is your wits shipping any better manned? No, I dare not venture: You are a Scholar. You came not over in the last fleet of Fools. I pray tak't again, Weel have no women fools sail amongst men. Why it bites not you, It feeds on fools flesh, so wisemen adicu I needs not, I have curtsies of mine owns ther's one for you. Only to outgo Jadish company. I am not too Severe, nor yet so kind, To fallen for eucrie idle puff of wind. But farewell, isle take counsel of my pillow, Pity fresh youth should wither in green Willow. At the three fools. And make up four. Though I be a stranger to you, Yet am I well acquainted with your humour. A Lady cannot live about the Court Without the envy of your Epigrams, If she be pleasant, she is counted light, If ruddy, painted, if her ruffs be thick, They ask much poking. And you'll doo't again? I pray who ought that pen? That in a stammering Iambick vain, Glanced at Emiliaes lose and gaudy train. And broke broad jests upon her narrow heel, Poak't her Rebates, and suruaid her steel, tide her fringed garters, bought her words by weight Do you not know that man? You did but flout them, and yowl flout me too You wondered not Cornelia being so fair, Would be beholding to her Laun dress haite. True, nor that Florymell, Became a Pages habit passing well, Vside single Rapier, took the rouse and swore, Of all land Beasts she could not brook the Boar, Nor that Count Lurdo, coming to a fray, Brought not the worth of one poor hair away. Nor that Melina whom your Muse renowns Wore out as many suitors as new gowns. And the same day that she was married, Upon her finger wore her maidenhead. In likeness of a Diamond. But you're all Ovid's. Poets are wanton, and no doubt enjoy, Their fair Corynnaes, though perhaps less coy. Each one in this agrees to scandal us. I take your word. But not Like Scholars by authority. Are you a Lawyer? For a twofold policy, one is they were come monly greedy, the other for fear if their Clients follow their counsel long, they will not be worth a fee. A Lawyer right? How? Lords turn Usurers? those that should punish broke age deal upon pawns? If it were once his own, Hee'de lend him money on his Dukedoms crown Lord what a broaking Advocate is this? He was some Squires Scriuenor, and hath scrapped Gentility out of Attorneys fees His bastard actions prove him such a one, For true worth scorns to turn Chameleon. Your Grace may have access. Is there a back way? A Stove? Pe rdy, this Lawyer keeps a bawdy house, I shall be ready to deceive you all. My Lord, your Law-plot's, most judicial. Is this your wife? That was and is not? how comes that to pass? I was one long since, This is no place for passion, dry your eyes, A couple quoth Jackdaw. Win, prithee give the Fiddler a testar and fend him packing, what a scraping the rongue keeps? doe's a think the Count keeps a Tavern or a Baw die-house? my good Lord! beseech your honour pardon me. Passing well my Lord, will you never leave these coltish tricks? but to the matter: I sent you my reso lution by your Maid, have you received it. Of what? Not too much hast for that, you have a wife. And still have. When she was a maid You swore you did, how soon poor youth's betrayed To helpless ruin do you love me? For how long? Oh deadly lie. I'll tell you joust how long, love's bred i'th blood, Prospers as long as beauty's in the bud. When beauty withers, lustful love grows cold, And ere it be half ripe, 'tis rotten old. If you have me, you must not put on yellows, I'll have my self, my servant and my fellows. My love, my liking, and a second me, I love to relish sweet variety: Your old wife moved you, I shall vex you more. Take Coach with Gallants even a soar your door. Take Rings, give bracelets woven of my hair, Which to spite you, my Servants arm shall wear. I'll in your presence fit upon his knee, Exchanging kisses if you speak to me. I'll Pont in scorn, cry mew, and look aside, At which, if you but frown, isle roundly chide, I am not as I seem, dissembling wit Is my best means. I was a Beggar born. Did you never take her kissing? Were you not Jealous? Yet saw her kiss with Strangers. And were you a Cuckold. What? a wittal. And knew't? And suffered it. Where? Quick away. Behind the Arras? escaped behind the Arras. Close, cock, sure, be wise, They only thrine that best can temporize. Why my Lord? the Poetical fiction of Ʋ enus kissing Adonis in the violet bed. No, Vulcan's fearful. Sweet Prince. Will you but hear me? How? but a Picture? isle try that presently, If you love me, disfigure it not, I esteem it only for the lively workmanship. Upon condition yowl neither deface it with weapon, nor soil it with your breath— Mark but the glance of his eye. The pit of a chin. And the fool swallows it rarely, & you mark him. A shadow. And absolute counterfeit, what do you mean? I'll swear a shall not, gentle Prince be short, Length kills the heart of the most feeling sport. My Lord. Did you taste the jest? In a knaves skin. Into a fools Paradise. Is your love so hight, you mean to burn me Never, but I have herd of a Cuckold that was and Usurper. What, a Cuckold? So you are for you Lawyers usurp more crowns then half a Country. Menelaus and Vulcan were Cuckolds but no Lawyers. The most lustful Goats Wear guilded horns, and go in Velvet Coats. My Lord? I know no other painter but one, and her name is modesty, and she sometime throws a blush into my face to make my pale cheeks read, but else you shall ne ver take me for and Alderman's post. Mark but where great posts are newly pain ted, you shall see much egress & regress in and out, & where you see a face newly okered, 'tis a sign ther's great traffic, & much stirring to and from. Then I shall fit upon your skirts. Then God for me what make I so near? Andf why for that Lady. For Ladies. Then the most cheap stuff, and next to hand is good for you know who. I for knaves. here's a Gentleman hath one in his hat already, no more. Calves head I pray thee. No for Godsake, they are the stalest meat with me of any, for I never fit to meat with these Gall lants, but there's Woodcocks clean through the table. A Gull? why which of these Gent. woot thou serve in? do you not hear how Adam flouts you? I in any case lets have that, I have fed my wit on many a land-Gull, once let me banquet my self of a Seagull, some Sea Captain, I lay my life that has a desire to sup with me, but such as thou hast, I prithee be brief And I have known some steal state. Then you love mine. I'll fashion you a course. Divinely indeed, serve God, live honestly rel lish not Atheism. Down with that Adam. Maintain a hundred Gallants at your heals, Live in the Country, entertain again Into the Court, long-banished hospitality, Who since the first great hose with Codpieces grew out of fashion near durst show his head. No wenches? what shall become of me then? Nay, but hark you my Lord, though you main taine me, you do not lie with me, and I think that's the newer fashion. Some Rosasolis or Aquam mirabilis ho, for our ge nerall coward's in a swoon. Most reverend father. How wronged him father? I must needs say I have played Will with the wisp with my brother and have led him up and down the maze of good fellow ship, till I have made his wit and his wealth both turn sick but for any other wrong, I appeal to him self, my uncle honest Julio, where is a? and all the rest of this good Audience, therefore pray good father. You're the more beholding to some of your neigh bours, tut ma ̄ look on me well, here's your now ne nose, and thick kissing lip up and down, and my mother were living, she would never buss you more, till you confessed I were your daughter. Do, with all my heart good father, send me to a Justice, for apretty woman with a smooth tongue and and Angels voice, can do much with Justice in this golden age, but thus much afore I go, if Justice will not p ouide me a better father, I'll have you, or I'll give the beadle of the ward a fee to cry, a new fa there a new, as they do oysters at Call is. All not worth a pin, will you bethink you father? How, yout Daughter? Pretty i'faith, have you any more of these tricks? I may be outfaced of my self with a Card often, but i'faith Uncle, the best knave 'ith bunch, nor all the law in your Budget cannot doo't, & as for you Sisley bum trinkets, isle have about with you at the single Stackado are you a woman? What then? If a true maid, lend a true maid your hand. The Like of me command, Now I conjure thee by the love Y u bear Dian es frien Grove, By Cupid's bo we, and go den arrow, Venus Dove, and chirping Sparrow, By all those vo es, the listening winds, Hear when Maids v clasp their minds. By those sweet oaths men use in bed, Besieging of a Maiden head. I do conjure you before these Lords, To answer truly to my words. Where were you born? Lie not. In what Art were you instructed? Quickly Good, how many springs Lived you in Monta Santa? How many? Your age? As what? You dally Come your reply, nay quick your certain age, And I can spring a cock, And you bill so fair, Make a clear glade, I'll single forth a pair. I thought we should find a Counterfeit of you How now my Lord? Go to, read your errors. Emelia, your Daughter, once a Turkish prisoner Dear father, the manner both of my enlarging and captiving isle relate, when more convenient time and place shall incite me, but upon this occasion, pray give me leave to put my brother beside his melam ̄ choly Why how now Student? grand Magician, Puritane, come, you never played the Wag, You know not Winefrides hem, nor the Counts vault. And yet you pleaded hard for a nights lodging He's a sweet womanist. Well said old water Rat, But that my brother Conjurer should fail, In the black Art.— And yet that dances changes every Term. Senseless, mute? Silence cries guilty, a lets fall the suit. Madam? A sign either they lacked brains, or else they did it because they would bear a brain. But what employment for Horatio? Traded in lust and gainful brothelry. How now father, have you put on your continued ̄ sidering Cap, and bethought you? or shall I proceed and tram verse my writ of errors? Your name? Nay quick Come, fie, you linger.