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Full speech
What coward would not venture a cracked crown for such a booty? God send me one with a good face and I care not. The very making of him up, has stood you in more then the whole our sides worth. How father, my Guardian. Do you hear father, bid him bespeak Spectacles, for my fingers have vowed to have a blind match with his eyes. Then I'll fear of purpose, because I would have em come. As a thief in a ill father, we thank our Redeemer's. My bed-mate turned, and as he would would spoke I swe to with fear, and in that fear I woke, But seeing my kind bedfellow was gone, Lord how it chafed me that I waked so soon, One minutes dreaming longer, I had tried, The difference betwixt a virgin and a bride. Are you avi worser of that, and i'faith tell me, what think you of your servant Dorus. Come, here's a good. By the faith a me, well led, The leader as the follower. Then take your winnings, isle not die in debt. No more words, I have perceived as much in your eye, as you can express with your tongue, and as far as my mother's j lousy would give me leave, answered it with kind looks: your bias stands wrong mother. Hath it stood so long? Ours, till the last bowl came. But that hath wont'em clear, both cast and game. In earnest in good truth. Now and then, And being gone, to kiss it back again: For lovers indentures are nea're fairly drawn, Until the maidenhead be left in pawn, As earnest of the match, so mother's said, And so will daughters do when Mams be dead. Yes, and loose'em too. Stranger? why Father, Strangers are as welcome to me, as mine own Countrymen; if they bring good manners, & civil humanity in their company: otherwise, they are Like foul uvea there, come afore they be sent for. Dometas, nay then we shall have news enough; for he never comes into the Presence, but he brings a whole sack full of es: of news I should say. Nay, and his face be good, let me alone to trick his before head, a country-gentlewoman taught me how: But father I wonder how you dare undertake such a peremptory challenge against all continued ̄ mers, considering you have been so long troubled with and Ague. And the Presence were not exceeding empty-stomackt, it would never digest such Almes-basket-scraps, the very fallen & gar bidge of gentry; fie upon him, he becomes the great chamber worse then a Gentleman-usher with wry legs. Had he not been of my father's own making, I should would condemned his taylor for and exceeding butcher. Then let me alone, I'll crack a couple a stones betwixt eve rye cherry, rather then surfeit on em. Well, God a mercy of all cursen souls, I was near the knowledge ont last night I can tell you. Some maintain it is. God in the eye, conceived in a kiss: Others whose speech seem near akin to truth Say 'tis a passion, bred ith heat of youth, Some callt a sighs, and some and amorous groan, All differ in the definition, But in the allowed opinion of most, 'Tis never truly had till it be lost. But lying thus alone, as maids do use, Me thought I dreamt, as maids can hardly choose, And in my dream me thought it too much wrong A pretty maid should lie alone so long: With that a gallant comes, gallants can do Much with young maids, In our wedding ring, Time, place, and hour, indeed in every thing: The day appointed, and each thing in frame, I thought each hour and age until it came, Well, come it is, the morning once in sighed, I thought it ten times longer till it night. At dinner time me thought I swelled with pride To be drunk to by name of Mistress bride, Music spoke loud, no delicates were scant, Yet still me thought another thing did want, For sure thought I, theres something in a man That wives love well, hope brides may wish it than. Long looked for comes at last, to bed we go. Lets cast a choice, the nearest two take one. I'll led. We have both one mind. In leaving the old folk behind. Whither? I am sure you would not? I hope you would not hurt me, and you should. Sour, so I herd you say. Of what acquaintance pray? None of my Maidenhead Father, I am gone, The Amazon hath won one. The cast I do. Nay scrape out that. Me yours? Much: in my tother hoose. I take your lay. Pardon me mother, I'll bear all or none. Me? Look to the Dukes standing Madam. Bar stealing Father; yet and all hit right, Here's one would steal a piece of flesh to night. Then all your game's bold wrong: furnish you with nieces saries befitting and escape, & my will shall be as ready to take wing, as yours; put in a cast now mother, or the game is gone indeed. In jest? 'Tis the fashion, Much in request among our Nation. Signeor No. Oh 'tis Manasses; and he could make Arms aswell as he mars Legs, he would grow in great request for Heraldry: What's your news? How? Hath any one here, clipped ears? Of a long tongue thou speakest very little. As Captains and Courtiers do old widows, for profit and preferment. We are your loves debtors kind Dametas. As I love virtue I pity these poor beasts, These Syluane commoners, to see what tasks Our covetous Foresters impose upon them, Who not content with impost of their breath, (Poor hearts,) pursue them smiling to their death. And some of you too hardhearted, but leaving this discourse of hunting, have all our gallantry of Lacedemon and Greece, spent the vigor of their wits, that not one dares venture. Let your return be speedy good Dametas. Out of the Court, and the whole Country shall have a good riddance. Murder, treason, rescue, help. Now in good deed lo I love em a life to, I think I shall ne ver would my belly full on em. For all the world as Englishmen keep their felons, & Itali ans their wines, we never stir abroad without our Jailors. Sure 'tis either some high content, or extreme discommo ditie, that our father debars us of it. No, of cherries Hipolita, but take heed of em, they be a for e filling meat, and dangerous things for us maids I can tell you, we may surfeit after em presently. He couted me once, and again, and thrice, 'Tis virtue to say nay, to be too nice Agrees not with my humour, yet some say, We maids wish things, to which we answer nay, Briefly me thought he stood so long a wooing, I rather could a wished he had been doing Some other business, yet at last we greed, It strange if earnest suitors should not speed. And so did mine to I warrant you, nay though I be but a little pot, I shall be as soon hight as another. Nor my mother's daughter neither. Nay the sport is I know not what to think, Zelmane humour would afford project for a pretty Court comedy, my father courts her for a woman, and as I fear she is, my mother doares upon her for a man, and as I wish he were, and that with such and ardor of of fection, that I could find in my heart to turn my mother out of the company, and play the lovers partly my self. I know not what knavish motion hath had to do with my thought, but my mind tells me that your servant Dorus & my Ama zon, are other then they seem: and here he comes. I and after cherries to Hippolita. For the love of cherries what. Why thus: as I lay slumbering in my bed, No creature with me but my maidenhead: Nay & they be such dangerous things, I have done with em.
Plot summary
Plot — The Isle of Gulls
Three members of the audience ask the Prologue about the play they are to see, The Isle of Gulls. They prove to have irreconcilable tastes in drama: one wants satire, one bawdy, and one bombast, but all eventually agree to give the play a chance. Concerned about his daughters’ unsuitable suitors, Basilius retires with them for a year to an uninhabited, fortified island, leaving his brother to rule Arcadia in his stead. A proclamation challenges royal would-be suitors to win the princesses by stealth. This attracts Julio and Amintor to the island, alerted by Basilius’ unworthy favourite Dametas; and also Lysander and Demetrius, respectively disguised as Zelmane, an Amazon, and Dorus, a woodman. ‘Zelmane’ becomes Violetta’s companion, and Demetrius enters Dametas’ service. Dametas arranges an opportunity for Julio and Amintor to rape the princesses by isolating them during a hunt. They kidnap the girls, but ‘Zelmane’ and ‘Dorus’ rescue them. ‘Dorus’ is rewarded with an appointment as Hippolita’s attendant, but the incident also casts doubt on ‘Zelmane’s’ gender, so Lysander loses his access to Violetta. Basilius and Gynecia are both enamoured of Lysander (each believing him to be a different sex), and each persuades him to accept the other’s advances for sport. Meanwhile Dametas’ daughter Mopsa falls in love with ‘Dorus’. Amintor and Julio continue to have ill success: they pose as envoys from Basilius’ brother, appealing for him to deal with an outbreak of abuses, corruption, and crime, but they are denied their promised reward by the avaricious Dametas. ‘Dorus’ gets rid of Dametas and his family by sending each of them on a wild-goose chase: Dametas to find buried treasure, his jealous wife Miso to Dametas’ supposed mistress, and Mopsa to the chapel in Adonis’ bower where a priest will marry them. ‘Zelmane’ similarly disposes of Basilius and Gynecia by arranging assignations with each at the same chapel, with the priest Manasses standing in for the Amazon. This frees Lysander and Demetrius to elope with the princesses; but their plans are overheard by Amintor and Julio, whom they then employ to smuggle the girls off the island. Digging for the gold, Dametas finds only a scornful poem directing him to Adonis’ bower, and he curses 1606 poets. Everyone meets up at the bower, and the knot of identity confusion is unravelled. Lysander and Demetrius present themselves to Basilius as his new sons-in-law; but Amintor and Julio have double- crossed them and kept…