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Full speech
The I'll of Gulls. A play by the name, but come shals quarter our selves? Fie be not incivil: dost hear youth, prethe whats he that dis covered your new found Land, the I'll of Gulls? what is he? And where sits his friends? hath he not a prepared company of gallants, to aplaud his jests, and grace out his play. The best in grace do, and but for that, some that I know, had never had their grace in Poetry till this day. Fie upon thee, thou art too too Critical: is there any good bau dry int, jests of and ell deep, and a fathom broad, good cuckolding, may a couple of young-setters up learn to do well int? Give me a scene of venery, that will make a men's spirits stand on their typ toes, and die his blood in a deep scarlet, Like your Ovid's Ars A mandi, there flows the true Springhead of Poetry, and the very Crystal fount of Parnassus. Chaste ears, now deafenes light upon em, what should chased ears do at a play. Fie vpont, mere Fustian; I had rather hear two good baudie jests, then a whole play of such teare-cat thunderclaps. If it be not baudie, 'tis impossible to pass. Faith and I'll see and act or two out, but I tell you aforehand I cannot see it out. Before God I lay in bed till passed three a clock, slept out my din ner, and my stomach will toule to supper afore five, therefore you must pardon me. Well, I'll fit out the play, and be but to avoid that sheepish im putation, but see it be baudy, or by this light I and all my friends will hiss.
Plot summary
Plot — The Isle of Gulls
Three members of the audience ask the Prologue about the play they are to see, The Isle of Gulls. They prove to have irreconcilable tastes in drama: one wants satire, one bawdy, and one bombast, but all eventually agree to give the play a chance. Concerned about his daughters’ unsuitable suitors, Basilius retires with them for a year to an uninhabited, fortified island, leaving his brother to rule Arcadia in his stead. A proclamation challenges royal would-be suitors to win the princesses by stealth. This attracts Julio and Amintor to the island, alerted by Basilius’ unworthy favourite Dametas; and also Lysander and Demetrius, respectively disguised as Zelmane, an Amazon, and Dorus, a woodman. ‘Zelmane’ becomes Violetta’s companion, and Demetrius enters Dametas’ service. Dametas arranges an opportunity for Julio and Amintor to rape the princesses by isolating them during a hunt. They kidnap the girls, but ‘Zelmane’ and ‘Dorus’ rescue them. ‘Dorus’ is rewarded with an appointment as Hippolita’s attendant, but the incident also casts doubt on ‘Zelmane’s’ gender, so Lysander loses his access to Violetta. Basilius and Gynecia are both enamoured of Lysander (each believing him to be a different sex), and each persuades him to accept the other’s advances for sport. Meanwhile Dametas’ daughter Mopsa falls in love with ‘Dorus’. Amintor and Julio continue to have ill success: they pose as envoys from Basilius’ brother, appealing for him to deal with an outbreak of abuses, corruption, and crime, but they are denied their promised reward by the avaricious Dametas. ‘Dorus’ gets rid of Dametas and his family by sending each of them on a wild-goose chase: Dametas to find buried treasure, his jealous wife Miso to Dametas’ supposed mistress, and Mopsa to the chapel in Adonis’ bower where a priest will marry them. ‘Zelmane’ similarly disposes of Basilius and Gynecia by arranging assignations with each at the same chapel, with the priest Manasses standing in for the Amazon. This frees Lysander and Demetrius to elope with the princesses; but their plans are overheard by Amintor and Julio, whom they then employ to smuggle the girls off the island. Digging for the gold, Dametas finds only a scornful poem directing him to Adonis’ bower, and he curses 1606 poets. Everyone meets up at the bower, and the knot of identity confusion is unravelled. Lysander and Demetrius present themselves to Basilius as his new sons-in-law; but Amintor and Julio have double- crossed them and kept…