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Full speech
HOw now gallants, what is't? what is't? If some had had the wit to do so in time, they might would saude the hangman a labour. But come boy, furnish us with stools. And you were the Epilogue to sir- Prethe where is he? Then he must lay his trial upon God and good wits. But why does he call his play The I'll of Gulls, it begets much expectation. Out a question he hath promised thee some fee, thou pleadest so hard for him, but and he be a right Poet he will never perform it. But what method observes he in his play, is't any thing Critical? Are Lawyers fees, and Citizens wives laid open in it: I love to hear vice anotomizd, & abuse let blood in the master vain, is there any great men life charactered int? All thats nothing to me, and there be not Wormwood water and Copperes int, I'll not Like it, should Apollo write it, and Rosius himself act it. Look toot, if there be not gall int, it shall not pass. Enemies, nays foot then theres some hope in's play, for Envy never works but against desert and merit. If he be envied theres some worth in him, and I'll see out his play for that only.
Plot summary
Plot — The Isle of Gulls
Three members of the audience ask the Prologue about the play they are to see, The Isle of Gulls. They prove to have irreconcilable tastes in drama: one wants satire, one bawdy, and one bombast, but all eventually agree to give the play a chance. Concerned about his daughters’ unsuitable suitors, Basilius retires with them for a year to an uninhabited, fortified island, leaving his brother to rule Arcadia in his stead. A proclamation challenges royal would-be suitors to win the princesses by stealth. This attracts Julio and Amintor to the island, alerted by Basilius’ unworthy favourite Dametas; and also Lysander and Demetrius, respectively disguised as Zelmane, an Amazon, and Dorus, a woodman. ‘Zelmane’ becomes Violetta’s companion, and Demetrius enters Dametas’ service. Dametas arranges an opportunity for Julio and Amintor to rape the princesses by isolating them during a hunt. They kidnap the girls, but ‘Zelmane’ and ‘Dorus’ rescue them. ‘Dorus’ is rewarded with an appointment as Hippolita’s attendant, but the incident also casts doubt on ‘Zelmane’s’ gender, so Lysander loses his access to Violetta. Basilius and Gynecia are both enamoured of Lysander (each believing him to be a different sex), and each persuades him to accept the other’s advances for sport. Meanwhile Dametas’ daughter Mopsa falls in love with ‘Dorus’. Amintor and Julio continue to have ill success: they pose as envoys from Basilius’ brother, appealing for him to deal with an outbreak of abuses, corruption, and crime, but they are denied their promised reward by the avaricious Dametas. ‘Dorus’ gets rid of Dametas and his family by sending each of them on a wild-goose chase: Dametas to find buried treasure, his jealous wife Miso to Dametas’ supposed mistress, and Mopsa to the chapel in Adonis’ bower where a priest will marry them. ‘Zelmane’ similarly disposes of Basilius and Gynecia by arranging assignations with each at the same chapel, with the priest Manasses standing in for the Amazon. This frees Lysander and Demetrius to elope with the princesses; but their plans are overheard by Amintor and Julio, whom they then employ to smuggle the girls off the island. Digging for the gold, Dametas finds only a scornful poem directing him to Adonis’ bower, and he curses 1606 poets. Everyone meets up at the bower, and the knot of identity confusion is unravelled. Lysander and Demetrius present themselves to Basilius as his new sons-in-law; but Amintor and Julio have double- crossed them and kept…