RABSHAKE

My master sir, desires your company, Ther's a new Pirate landed, his name is Gallop. He would: and for your courtesy herein, He will forbear three months the crowns you owe him: The house is saved, but all the ships in the harbour Unquenchable do burn. Yours only excepted. How? spoiled with ill bred? it was ill drink spoiled him. I am of my masters mind, the newcome Pyrate is a rea sonable handsome man of a Christian. Altogether. What's the reason else that the Turk & Jew is troubled (for the most partly) with gouty legs, and fiery nose, to express their heartburning: whereas the Pu ritan is a man of upright calf, and clean nosthrill. How? I turn Christian? they have Jew enough all ready amongst'em: were it but three qualities they have, Il'e be none of their society. First, they suffer their wives to be their masters. See condly, they make men thieves for want of maintenance, and then hang them up for stealing. Lastly, they are mad four times a year, and those they call Term-times, and then they are so purged by their Physicians, which they name Lawyers, some of they are never their own men after it. I turn Chri stian? they shall have more charity amongst they first. They will devour one-another as familiarly as Pikes do Gudge ons, and-with as much facility as Dutchmen do Flapdra gons. I, eat up one-another: you have and innocent Chri stian called a Gallant, your City Christian will feed upon no oh there meat by his good will. The truth is, they are not altogether so great devou rers; marry they will be sucking at the bones. But see my mai ster, the great thief and the little thieves, the robbers and the receiver. This newcome theefesit? Why your thief is a Gentleman, he scorns to do any thing, and he lives upon his comings in. Here sir. He hath a hanging countenance indeed sir, I have not fogotten sir that you damned your self be cause you would not be a Cornuto: If every man should fine so deer for his horns, we should have but a few Christians left: but seeing you fear your vessel hath a leak, wherefore do you put her to sea, man her thus? I am not of your mind sir, there is no profit without some pain. I fear my days are but short then, if my life lasts no longer then I can keep a Woman honest against her will. I'll warrant you sir, I'll look toot. 'Tis the custom of the whole world, the great thief preys upon the less still: how's this? I am drawing on, if my life lie upon her honesty, I a upon the point of giving up already. Hoy-day, they are riding already, God's-foot I am Like to go post to the Devil for this. Nay then it rings out for me, should the Jew see this, I were as good as speechless: there were but a little gasping between me and the graven. My Mistress, Gentlemen, did you see my Mistress? You must make provision to entertain two of the ri chest Pirates ever landed here, one Captain Ward and Fran cis us, they have brought a prize in worth three thousand duc kets: beside, they fell their prisoners slaves, my master hath engrossed them all. Nay, I hold it the best course too, for mine own safety. My charge is charged my watch must be now, lest my Master know it. If all the world were eyes, women I see would to it. As you are men conceal your weapons, here are woe men in the room. Fire, fire, fire. Fire, fire, fire, the slaves lie on straw-beds, and yet this cry will take no hold on they, fire, fire, fire. Fire, fire. At the Jews house, Benwash his house, your house sir: I think the serpent crept into a narrow hold, and le to his case behind him. This make's the naked truth appear so. It should seem he laboured hard to earn it, he could keep no clothes about him. Unless I should have be their baud, I could watch no nearer, me thinks she hath done you a great pleasure, rid you of your disease, jealousy, now you needs sear no more, you are in possession on't, your doubts are at and end. Dust and ashes it's but a frail oath. You'll swear as much to forgive me I hope to sir. The hangman you mean sir, I am expert at it. I have had a hight night of this, nothing but fire in my mouth two hours together: marry the old Jew my master I hear hath stumbled on a cooler. I thought this Captain would be coming so long on upon the breach he would break his neck at the last. This venery is a tempting dish, some never lin licking at it till they burn their lips. Well, I must go comfort up old Benwash, he's heavy upon his wives lightness. You Turk, I have nothing to say to you: Would, would, would, poor fellow, how he looks since Mahomet had the hand ling of him? he hath had a soar night at Whose that knocks at the backdoor? Cry you mercy, I thought you were and Italian Captain. Alas sir! Voadi's uters? o sir, a Barbar sir. He smells strong of Rosewater, and he hath never more nigh in his purse but on Saturday-nights. And other sweet youth too, I take it a Comfet-maker; and it seems hath rotten teeth, for he dares not come in sighed so long as the Barber's in the way. Her Page sir, the little Christian, the good faced Cap taine gave her, Fidelio. She makes him sing bawdy songs to her, looks for tunes in his fist, & babies in his eyes, makes dialogues betwixt him, her little dog, & her self: lies upon her back, puts his hand in her hand, & wrings it till the tears come again. It is my practice sir: you shall stand for the Lady, you for her dog, and I the Page: you and that dog looking one upon another, the Page presents himself. The best is behind sir. Here sir. As fast as his legs will bear him, considering the use he means to put them to. I have provided a Can dle to comfort him with. And your horns too sir? They were begotlight, but methinks they should be heavy in the wearing. Though you lop the branches, you will preserve the tree to bear more fruit, I hope, your wife sir. How will you dispense with your oaths sir? That word (by equivocation) lies on my stomach, I would be loath it should make me cast up my gall, I would not have my throat cut by equivocation. Strike you sir? you are the keeper, and have the fees in possession, I have no money upon this equivocation. He'll make the old Jew believe I was his wives bawd. You will groan for this anon sir. Is Dun in the mire? for old acquaintance sake we'll drag you out sir: you are in travel, I am the son of a Mid wife, Il'e help to deliver you. A good belief does well; were I in your case, I should be passed dreaming: but Il'e cast you in a slumber sir. You should have said so when time was Mistress. Do a woman to death, and she will be satisfied, no thing else will. Would, would, would, how the Ox goares him. He died a true lecher, with the pox in his mouth. Why this was valiantly done sir, in single opposition. Rarely, if it do not prove a Tragedy to us sir, i'ts but a Comedy hitherto: the setting off is all. I marry sir, I Like this well, a man may trust you when your hands are tied behind you. If you gull me now, Il'e give you leave to make mum my of me: what's next sir? Do you call this gulling of the world? How? bind me? I do not desire to wade deeper in I thank you sir, I am no politician, bear no brain about me sir; yet I can dive into a knaves pockets as well as any man, your worship knows. To rob you as I am a Turk, & cut your throat as I am a Jew, you have forgotten your equivocation; Il'e chop logic with you. Come, your rings, your chain: do you not laugh? have you not guled the world fairly? And you would be rid of me, I conceive you sir, though I am no politician: I have seen the play of Pedringano sir, of Pedring no sir. Yes, you meant I should have been your heir. You would have parted with this chain, these rings and gold. And you have a trick to come off clear with this busi ness. And I should have been your heir. If I should try him, it is beyond my compass if he outsail me: this chain and gold is mine. For once Ill e try you: here bind me, if you do out reach me, Il'e never trust Jew more. It is sir. God's-heart I am your slave sir, I did it to make your wor ship merry. As you are a man hear me sir. Believe him not sir, he is a mere Goat, look on his beard else.