JULIO

W High how now Puss, what ails my Monkey to chatter out of tune thus? Good provision for the pre sent Monkey, but viderit futuritas, in the mean time, who lays up for futu rity? Come you raise four hundred per annum, out of pottles of Wine and Capons? In Holland. The reason of that? IT may be thou wantest acquaintance. Yet it may be they are precise, and will not be seen in't. Well, I am sure I have furnished thy Library with all books of behaviour, and tables of entertainment. Why, then there's a fault in your company. Stultissimo of a plain cut and square size, he runs just as you throw him; rub him a little against the grain now, and he will come off a great deal the smoother. You would not think, what charitable benefactors three or four such plush Colonels would be to the founding of a new ho nou_r_. Why should not I have purpose and effect as much as any: A leager, yes, so it lay in the I'll of plenty; Idem dig through the Alps with Haniball, and fetch Theseus from Hell, with Hercules purpose and practice, my precious Monkey, 'tis done. Shall not bore and accent of that title my Catampti all Monkey, but you must look out for Spiders Monkey, and the Sprall of all four Puzz: I have laid the foundation in gold already. Rings hangum, they are as stale as Scotch Lanson, Or as your Decoy, No, I have sent um out in a desperate venture to Cape. No Monkey, my old friend Franciscus hath repaired my Jacket already, & has promised to new thatch my outside too. One of these boxes has 100 pieces of new gold, With chains and keys correspondent. For a dead lift Monkey: a Leaguer cannot be plan ted, manned, victualed and munitioned with a small Maga zine: to work Monkey, a mouzing Puss, make choice of your company, admit no parley with the popular, be high and proud of thy self, and let those that will needs buy thee, pay soundly for thee with a pox to um, Puss a wink to the wise, you know my mind, let's have no more midnight catter wowlings under Sale-mens shop windows, Vintners dark cellars, no Justices long Entries, but bear up your self so civil and so meager You may be stilde a sister of the Leaguer. The liberal hand of heaven reward your love, or lend my wishes that ability to thank you in requital. Leager, Sir, the report of your Pot-guns cannot make us hang up a white flag. We come not to learn whats proper of you, Monkey, and catch flies. Sir, you're uncivil, she's none; nor this a Bawdy house; but a Leaguer of gentle entertainment. My self? Would you were as sure your selves as I am. 'Tis not your pare royal of plush Coxcombs can secure you in't. Not suddenly neither: The growth has both time and sufficient temper. Why I a Cheater? let any impartial— Ride Circuit, and fit in judgement of us all, And show any reason either in Art or Nature, Why I a Cheater more than any of you. That's endowment enough for a Gentleman: I ever shall count him the nobler gentleman That makes himself a fortune in the world, than he That brings it into the world with him. It's a kind of Meslin or mingled grain still. How much of the poors money was found in one of the Churchwardens purchase last day? How many thieves horses have been watered at the High Constable of the hundreds watering trough within this ten years? To the Society at the Swan two pottles and a half: Monkey the health; these are my noble & prime visi tants; the boxes I gave you to lay up. You shall keep the gold under lock and key for your pawn. To a Piece I assure you: you shall see else again. Three Months, not a day longer: Nay sooner if money chance to come in afore: I have offices in my Leaguer stand upon Fortune's hill. 'Vds me Signior Stultissimo promi ed Me a courtesy last night: I believe thee without and oath: Make my friend welcome to the Leaguer Monkey: As soon as I have dispatched my voyage To the Canaries, I am for you again Lads. I would I had embraced my poverty, while the pale Moon has residence in heaven, would I had been deaf. Can heaven suffer it? Too much of ill. Pray no more, the malady is mortal, unsanctified, monstrous. Anthonio is there such a man? Hate all the name. He's a Villain. He's a Villain. Do you love your self, do you love honour, do you love your wife? Then hate that Anthonio. He loves not you. He wrongs your sister. Can you bear it thus, wink Vulcan then, And let the God of War, throw up her skirts again. The Serpent tempts your wife, these ears and eyes can testify; for your sister, she's stale: his excuse, whereby he cloaks his vice. I am not mad, I love you, 'tis my love, you are my fa there. Will you be moved Pernassus, the two topped, forked Mount? Forget not, sir, your patience. I would I had been dumb? Kind, sir, recall your wonted manhood? I pray pardon me. Would, when I saw him kiss her, crush her hand, wink and laugh out, use his undecent language: Fie, fie. Kind, sir. Dear friend, do not forget your name, these are but likelihoods, far from the thing it self, and say he be a Vil lain, as no doubt he's little better in his rude exposures: she may be honest. I have stroke him through. Nay gentle friend. Work on, work on: Fate lifts me to the seat of my desires; And I am prosperous and happy. This Devil jealousy, my present friend, Cannot at least but quite supplant Anthonio: Beside this seeming honesty of mine, begets me good Opinion of Franscicus, as shall install my wish; All adds to my avail: what needs I curses fear For the debate my policy shall raise betwixt these Turtles I hold with Machievel, for fame or profit To break oath or league with friend, Or Brother: there's nothing gainful bade: I would my wish, Advancement now Is what I aim at, present glory here: He's true religious, that does nothing fear. I am not blessed, all things do sort contrary; it'll not do, my projects thrive not, would I had been silent, we know the first, but not the last, I begin to perceive our poli cies of times whets the Axe, cuts off our own necks; I have and one my self, that it should come to this, we seek to mend so long, that we mar all: for mine own partly, would I could have been content: but who would have dreamed the course would have proved so violent: well this I am sure on, I may starve ere I get such another friend. I should be loath to wish so. It's nothing I see, to work the dissolution of a house, How easily this is done? Ten thousand swords strook me together. Now the foul Devil, stuff thy glutnous paunch, I am no viand for thee? Never worse, my Friend's undone. Let me beseech you. Thus poverty's despised at home, abroad, and in all companies. I ever said, it might come in a night, that came not in and age, Et ecce noctem faelicem; see, that jovial night is come: They have been playing high, and potting deep: Lights, Wine, and more stools for these Gentlemen; well come. What's this Leaguer raised yet, Par la ho boy, I thought we should have had a second siege of Troy on't, is their Reckoning paid? not a penny, they called for one, but in such a drunken key; I bade em sleep upon't, and I would tell em more on't when they were sober. Best of all, and whats to pay then? But nine and six pence, and grumble; my friend the reckoning's not paid you say. No meat, come to handsel a Leaguer, what no meat? Are they abed at Anthony's Ordinary yet? Step down, and see, nine and six pence, they must and shall hear more of this: we may go beg, or buy up all the, refuse, broken bred and meat, scraps, offal, and garbage that Cooks shops, Shambles, Ordinaries, Entries, and Rich men's doors afford; nine and six pence, if they do not hear more of this— What does that fellow cry? For poor prisoners? as fit for my purpose, as a Con nigh for a Pursnet; here, take money, buy his provision by the lump: if I had studied for a fortune to fallen upon me, I could not have had a fairer. No, my sweet Monkey, I have further aims then so, this broken meat and baggage offal, will I strew in my Kit chin, Dressers, Hall, Entries, and every door and draw window, and perspicous places about the house: foul all the vessel, three or four times over, all to besmeere the rusty spits and dripping-pans; break all my broken glasses, Beatrice the bottom out of my Cans: Beatrice all my foul Tobacco-pipes, into fractions Perlahay, My friends shall hear more of that in the reckoning: My sweet Monkey, when the Drunkards shall wake, and see all these ruins, or rather remains of a plenti full Leager: O, hast thou no apprehension? Why, I tell thee, they cannot choose out of their generous bounties, but see all discharged? Within. A cup of six, Drawer. O, the Leager begins to rise! Come Monkey a few directions for you in private, give you attendance on the Leager; let em call for what they will, and want nothing they call for: only I will tell em no more of nine and six pence in the reckoning. Parlahey Monkey, be venum Gallants, come a stato Sigiores mio come I stato. You Rascal, who takes away here? here's a house bestrewed with garbage and offal, as if the great Inquest had been feasted, &c. Nine pound six shillings, Parlahey, and yet I use you Like Christians too boys. I do not think but you are sawest pretty well alrea die, for the Devil a bit of meat saw I, and yet all these scraps could not come of nothing. Parlahey, welcome Gallants to the Leaguer still: please you withdraw. By no means, I would have every man to live & thrive by what he professes, it is mine own case: let me see, I cannot make up the sum, I pray you let one of your men step over to the next lane: I lie there at the Barbers, I'll dispatch him presently. And I am in haste too, for I have sent for my Tailor to meet me at my lodging, and I am loath to disappoint him, because I would have his opinion in the stuff. I am much obliged to you as a stranger, I care not if I accept— Yes, at the next turning? Turn by the next lane, and thou shalt be sure not to miss it, though thou findest not me, I have took sufficient order and you shall be sure to be satisfied. But thou must be secret. A pretty handsome youth, and will be loath to discover himself, being extremely bashful, and will make it strange. He's my Kinsman, next Cousin German's by the More the side; now playing the Wag, as many youths will do, you know it Barber. He hath God a clap. But for one thing, never should it grieve me, I fear it might go never to spoil his marriage, which I would not for more than I'll speak. Now his exuse will be (as I told thee he's extremely bash full) to inquire for a Gentleman that owes his Master money, to comply with the old Proverb, Though his excuse be draff, yet drinks his errand. As it shall seem best: but thinkest thou he'll endure it. Which I'll not hear, my heart's so tender over him: when he comes (as long he will not stay) take him in charge, Thy pains shall be well paid, for doubt not but I'll come to the conclusion. My hope is it will succeed according to my wishes. If I had, I had not made choice of thee above any other. I will withdraw for the present, and instantly return. Where might I run to meet destruction, And set a perjod on my wretchedness? Stern misery I know, and feel thee now: Yet is the earth content to bear my weight, And suffer what proud man disdains to know, Unless to spit upon, or add to that, Which wants no extreme. Franciscus, preserver of my life; Oh let me kiss the ground whereon thou treadest, then rise to thank thee. You wish me not so well, how ever you wish, if you wish otherwise: your misery be mine, and my enduring yours; one grave receive our bones; and he that says this Sepulcher is mine, call it Francisco's Tomb. You bind me to my prayers. Ignorant honesty, shallow Italian, yes, live a wretch: Canst thou be so found to think me of that mettle? hast thou eyes, and mayest, yet will not see how thou art o're-recht: yes, do continue innocent, do, and die a fool, my friend, my friend, my very loyal friend, all friendship I forswear, save outward signs, which with my garment J cast nightly off. The father of the slain Antonio promises liberally by Proclamation to any that can bring Francisco forth. I will betray him, I will be the man shall purchase the reward: What way I curses, or care for the report the multitude shall clamour therein. I'll imitate the Lawyer, making bade words my gain. Franciscus thou wast born for my advancement: he's sunk himself, and fruitless is the hope depends on that which was, and not which is; give me the present, not precedent man. Let me not hanker for emergency, but take the instant sway, the published recompense is mine, it's said, it's mine. It is a month and more since she left Venice. These strange additions to my news I add, Antonio's Carcase never could be found since yours and his contention. I would provide me of some necessaries, small in ex pence, which make a mighty miss, and health cries out to have: so if you please but let me fit my present want, at my return en join me to your will, though it continue to the latest date, and I am serviceable. Such shall be my speed, you will not wish me sooner to return. Tush these are nothing: I have cheated one of the bram vest Stats-men of the world; the very quintessence of Spain: Nay, I have fooled him who boasted in his Country, he had gulled all our Nation A Gelding is not rid in the horse-fair, but he is mine to ride, maugre his Master's teeth. I have outfaced a fellow of his horse in the open Market, sold him before his face; & but making a question whither he trots or ambles, ride away both with the horse and money, my Pusse. Sweet Munkey look to the house at home, I must abroad again, to fetch in a new purchase. Now let me see: whom shall I next encounter? Would, Counterfeits so nigh? And yet your Countertenor sounds but Like scurvy Music: am I catched then? I pray you at whose fuite? Then three merry men, and three merry men be we, are we not honest Sergeants? well, there's a piece to begin with all: lets talk further of the business. Me thinks you do not speak Like Varlets: And in good time: Know you that reverend man? He's mine own Uncle: will you take his word. And make it to me as a free discharge? If he but say (nay there's another piece) I'll see you satisfied? It's enough: Give me but so much leave as speak unto him, All I'll keep in fair distance: on my life, If he ay not I'll see you satisfied, I will return your prisoner. I know he will not suffer me to lie For such a petty sum: Now brain or never. Excuse my boldness Sir: though it be scarce manners, To interrupt your serious conference. Such a business, Which as it touches me in Charity, So should it you in Conscience. The one is and arch Brownist, and the other Cannot endure to see a Surplesse worn: Subject indeed to no conformity; Yet both so well persuaded of your learning, And spotless life, that what you shall propose Th'are willing to subscribe too. Now honest Sergeants: what desire you more? I hope so honest Sergeant: you see I deal fairly. Farewell my honest Sergeants. Make me not known to these? That's he: apprehend him, i'll not be seen in't. The gold is mine, his certain bondage does assure me it, why should I be and Ass, and nicely stand on that no Trades man does: no thrifty one, what conscience, any thing but such a word: our wise divines that preach an't, know it not, nor make good use of that, or ought they say, but of good money: this I day lie see, and sometime make my daily meditation, all's Ceremony composed for purpose: But be it what it will, this is my grace, If not for one, I'm for the oath place. Prosperity to the Venetian State. No more or less, then what his own tongue uttered, can I or have to say. We were once friends: once had I such opinion of his virtues, my life and estimation were both his, he might come manned them, much it were to speak of all that passed between us: thus in short, I would some other were compelled to this, which you have tied me too, my nearest friend alive. Must we be enforced, what should I speak, he slew him, ripped his bowels, mangled him, and in his wrath, as man will any thing: tumbled his reeking quarters down a Vault most steep and loathsome: what of this, he might deserve much worse au steritie, yet this was bade enough? Let me be deposed— See, see the Ages wickedness: can it be possible? Oh miserable time, when men make no more reckoning of their souls! Fie, fie, Francisco, think upon your end, and whither you must go. Most reverend Father's, observe you this his con tumacy: I shall I fear be forced to speak what in my heart till now I chested, and ribbed in, because mine oath, 'twas not my will hath hear constrained me to expose his blame, my soul had vowed to hide; Note into malice how he throws himself, and would stain my reputation with a calumnious lie. Your Grace shall do well to punish this saucy groom. Wither shall I run to hide my self? What Climate, or what Region? Pardon greatest Prince. Pardon grave Father's. The Devil and his Angels. No jugglers Box, I'll assure thee friend: for here's neither pass, nor repass, I stand here you see for and example, And could wish all these good people to follow it. You are deceived, Signior: rather Bred, and Meat, as Piecrust, bones, and fragments out of the Ludgate men basket: Nay, hold your hands, I beseech you Gentlemen, and use your tongues and spare not. Bear witness my Master's, that is the main malefactor indeed, and I stand here for a show: I'll go no further than his own confession. What said that fellow? May I eat hay with your horse, if they were not both done neatly and cleanly. But Gentlemen, and the rest, you see I am at this present your pitiful spectacle. I looked once within this twelve month, not to have been mounted in such state: but no man knows what preferment he is born to. You see I have hitherto sailed through this great storm without soiling my Suit, spoiling my Ruff, or spattering my Beaver: thanks to these kind spectators. And was it not fairly done Master Sergeant, to teach you how to digest the wearing of a Surplice, before you came to stand in a white sheet. Withal my heart: and if either you or any of my accu sers be weary with following me on foot, the Room is now emp ty, I will give him leave to ride in my place. He seems to fallen into a passion. Yet when I do but think of this disaster, it draws tears from mine eyes. He draws his handkerchief (as to wipe his eyes) just before the Country fellow, and scatters some small money. Thanks honest friend. Nay, sure I had more money? it's not in my handker chief, nor in my pockets, I have examined them both. A piece, a piece, and had it now, just now; sure while I was so high perched none could dive so low into my pocket, it was sure as I lighted, and dropped from me, just as I drew my handkerchief. Pray who were they that stooped? Then sir, I must demand this piece of you. But I profess that one of them was a piece, and never came into my hand, and that I must demand of you: say did no body stoop but he? Thou art still my honest Sergeant. I am afraid, we shall find him a Cheater. Plead well Sergeant and thou shalt have thy see. Marry twenty shillings good and lawful currant more nigh, Puss, was not this the piece that I put in my pocket this mor ning? Do you see Gentlemen. I am here brought to public penance for a Cheater, and here's a plain fellow that (it seems) in his simplicity would outdo me: if I be thus censured mere lie for suspicion; shall he escape free that is taken in the very Actium? He's gone, I am still here, now Gentlemen, If heretofore there hath been any Doll, Any bold Beachum, and any Cutpurse Moll. Any Bawd fat with wealth, or with care meager, That spends her time in Garrison or Leager, Grace me so far to say, that of a Cheater Though some have been more grave; scarce any greater, But Gentlemen; what needs we more repeating? Knowing, that even in all Trades there is cheating? 'Tis common both in buying and in selling, In all Commerce; nay, even in money telling. 'Tis frequent betwixt the Pander and the Whore, We our selves find it at the Playhouse door. And though (for and example) here I stand, I am not all the Cheaters in the land. Some here (no question) know it but I vow, (They what they please) I will cheat none of you. Ere I was banished for my father's fact, my know ledge coated, and all Italy, spoke of a Damosel called Cor nelia, this good Chrysippus daughter. I want words for you: only for conclusion, one out of a strange affected carriage has gathered and admirable me thod of drilling, and training men from the flying of Cranes: Another rare order and government of Commonwealths, from the poor labour of the Be: And I out of this Leaguer— It may be so: But I am sure, I have herd, or read or something, that a new Chief Justice of some place, or a bet ter man wo'd not would made very nice to bid a fat purse to breakfast with him if he light upon it soundly: so that it is not so much the Art to know, as the government to dispose: that qualifies the man. Why now you come to me, That's the Pearl I would dived for all this while: I have a catalogue of names, places, and prizes. A cup of entertainment for my friend. Welcome to the new Leaguer. The easy time, and such as thrive in it, favour my wishes, the ignorant whose sole dependence is on verity, and carry conscience in their timorous breasts, are not asso ciates meet for Julio. Those that near knew the strain of Policy, nor aim at more, then what may well content, draw not my length, the way to prosper, the directest course such are my soar necessities, is to get liking of this lovely Maid Franciscus sister, bright Phemone, the Virgin's more dest, chased, and debonair, beside her brother's rich, there hang my Hope's, but she affects not me, all her desires are on young Anthonios, rich Arbaces son, my friend (supposed) at least, but that is breath; by what man has, or can have, he's my foe that hinders my design, where he my next of blood, that shall he find: the mean to purchase what I reach at now, there is but only one, one only mean that can supplant him, here it lies shall doo't, were he as deer in estimation as Nisus to Eurialus. I love my self, I count him still most wise, That cares not who's thrown down so he arise. Anthonio is a Villain. He loves your wife. You will not understand; I'll speak no further. Yes. Will you list a word, Anthonio wongs you. He plays the Parasite, the officious Ass to veil his sin. Remember what you are. I could launch my Dagger through my side, at one easy throw: beggar my friend; subvert mine own estate, and undo her, by whom I hope to climb, accursed, brainless slave: could the damned Devil with all his firebrands, Beatrice into my pate no sounder subtlety. I had, I had relief, Fool vaunt of that? boast what thou hadst? or might have? 'tis passed, it's gone, my villain self, confounded has my self, and him that did sustain me: What chokes Corn sooner than side-fed weeds, Who ofter does man wrong than he afeeds: Let me ponder; have I no other invention? No trick to take away my life, after my means: Study upon't, I'm struck upon a sand, Swallowed, devoured, through wilful ignorance, Never to rise again: it's a villains cast, First to sink others, them himself at last. The reckoning but nine and six pence, how poorly this shows, in a Leaguer too, and friends that pretended me a courtesy too? How many joints of meat to supper? Monkey, you shall hear more of that anon, when they are sober? why Drawer, Dog, Dunghill-raker; is the Leaguer dry? By and by, a cup of six into the low Leaguer, there. The better for him that shall wear it, nothing but what's in grain can please him: let me see, I know not how my money will reach: the Silkman hath emptied my pocket this morning, but you will bore nothing of your price? Strike when thou wilt proud death, I dare thee now; For having what I wished, I wish no more, nor would entreat time to defer a minuite to have him rest and age, since all things must have end, end it at once, my prayer is confirmed, I have seen you ever I die. Where art thou Conscience? whither hast thou took Since thou didst leave men breast? that we should all have mother's; Wisdom all, yet all contemn her precepts: when you first fled, and by commandment from the Senate house, your ships and lands were seized on for the State, those that which stayed them did appear so near, as if their blood had tied them to your service, grew so forgetful in a more ments space, that neither argument, nor extreme signs could win them to belief there had been such, as what you were to them: I (as no less I could) bound to't by duty, spoke your merits still, and did maintain your right, on the Allies of your inconstant wife: but I am poor for't, truth was still despised, and less I could not be. And the same minuite did Phemone forsake her friends and kindred: but where or whither they have betook themselves the most knowing but conjecture. Look well on these two men. And please you say so, that they may hear you sir. ASsure me of the promised recompense, I'll bring you to his presence. This is the place, and there Franciscus walks. Noverint universi, It is the Dukes mercy; And the condition of my Obligation, To make my recantation, That I within bound, Should give reasons profound, Why (much against my heart) I thus ride in a Cart. Nay, gentlemen, no eggs I beseech you: for I love them at this time, neither raw, roasted, nor rotten. For should they hit me on the breast, they would go clean against my stomach. I have marked him, it's mine own: and notwithstan ding all this melancholy we'll spend it at night in Wine and Music. Your courtesies to one so thronged in misery As my self, dulls my behaviour, that I know not how Enough to laud or thank you. You the man of War, or more properly Pirate, that gave summons to the leaguer. I'de feign know that of you: But I advice you to take council of your best judgement first, Your words will be questioned. It not from my purpose if I granted that to. Lie curgus was the first Lawmaker; and the best Law that ever he made, was a provision or maintenance for Cheats, as you call em, and Felons (videlicet.) That he (without exception of age, quality, or condition) which could do the most high dainty, and dangerous piece of Felony, and come clear off, should be preferred to the most eminent place of office in the State; but if he failed, he was then to receive Martial Law. A poor Grannams gift gentlemen: 300 pieces, or such a taste, par lie induction to a business, or so. There's a Bordeaux Merchant in Town now, would lay me between wind and water this twelve month, but the spite is, I am tied not to partly with this gold for ever: if I knew where to borrow but half the worth on't— Good sir no more: do not call all the tears out of mine eyes; think who I am: would you did but know. Mark the end. Now my Catter-whauling Pusse, how didst thou Like my last Cheat? did I not fool them finely? Is there no mountain nigh to fallen on me, no roten house? It's mine own I warrant thee.