SPENDALL

W Hat lack you sir? fair stuffs, or velvets? Good morrow master Balance. Yes, have you any fine ones? How now! what news? Sweet rascal! if your love be as earnest as your protestation, you will meet me this night at Supper, you know the randeuows, there will be good company, a noise of choice Fiddlers, a fine boy with and excellent voice, very good songs and bawdy; and which is more, I do purpose my self to be exceeding merry: but if you come not, I shall powt my self sick, and not eat one bit tonight. Your continual close friend, Nan Tickle-man. Sweet rascal! if your love be as earnest as your protestation, you will meet me this night at Supper, you know the randeuows, there will be good company, a noise of choice Fiddlers, a fine boy with and excellent voice, very good songs and bawdy; and which is more, I do purpose my self to be exceeding merry: but if you come not, I shall powt my self sick, and not eat one bit tonight. I pray send me and angel by this bearer, when there you can come, or whither you cannot. What's the price of these two? Hold thee, there's and angel, and commend me to my delight, tell her I will not fail her, though I lose my freedom by't. Exit wench. What lack you Gentlemen? fine stuffs, vel uets, or satins? pray come near. You shall sir, what colour? Fifteen indeed sir. Good! if you find a better i'th town, I'll give you mine for nothing: if you were my own brother, I'de put it in to your hands, look vpon't, t'is close wrought, and has and excellent glass. Pray sir come into the next room; I'll show you that of a lower price shall (perhaps) better please you. Will you come in sir? Will you take it for thirteen? Why then say you might have had a good bargain; Where's this boy to make up the wares? here's some ten pieces opened, and all to no purpose. Enter Boy. Shut up shop, boy, why? God give your worship joy, sir. My service sir, never deserved so much, Nor could I ever hope so large a bounty Could spring out of your love. I thank you sir. Here's a spacious room to walk in, sirrah set down the candle, and fetch us up a quart of Ipocras, and so we'll partly. A pottle sirrah, do you hear? How now Wench! how dost? Why here's my hand, within these three days thou shalt have one. Why, did I ever fail of my promise? Here sister, mother, and master Pursnet; nay good sir, be not so dejected, for by this wine, to morrow I will send you stuff for a new suit, and as much as shall line you a cloak clean through. Here boy, fill, and hang that eurmogin that's good for no body but himself. A Lord! by this Light I do not think but to be Lord Mayor of London before I die, and have three Pageants carried before me, beside a Ship and and Unicorn; prenti ces may pray for that time, for whensoever it happens, I will make another Shrouetuesday for them. Enter Drawer. M: Rash! zownds how does he know I am here? Know not! it comes through you and your rascally glib-tongued companions, t'is my Master's son, a fine gentle man he is, & a boon companion, I must go so him. Exit Spend. Nay, good words Mistress Swearman, he's a young Gallant, you must not weigh what he says. For a whole piece, if you please, any friend of yours shall command me to the last remnant. Dice or drink, here's forty crowns, as long as that will last, any thing. A pox of money, t'is but rubbish, and he that hoard's it up, it but a Scavenger: if there be cards ith house, let's go to Primero. Gamester (to say truth) I am none, but what is it I will not be in good company? I will it my self to all humours, I will game with a Gamester, drink with a drunkard, be civil with a citizen, fight with a swaggerer, and drab with a whoremaster. A land Porpoise, I think. Puff, puff. Out you swaggering Rogue, Zownds I'll kick him out of the room. Beats him away. Fear not (sweet heart;) come along with me. A Rubber sirrah. And bid those two men you said would speak with me, come in. Did I not play this Set will? Master Blank! welcome. Have you the Bound ready master Blank? 'Tis well, Pursenet, help to tell — 10.11.22. What time have you given? 'Tis well, here's light gold. You say well sir, how much hast thou told? I'll take your warrant sir, and tell no further, come let me see the Condition of this Obligation. 'Tis very well; so, lend me your pen. Ma y do I sir. Yes Marry shall he, Pursenet, your hand. There's for your kindness master Blank. For your pains. What, must you be gone too, master Blank? Farewell to both, Pursenet, Take that twenty pounds, and give it mistress Sweatma Bid her pay her Landlord and Apothecary, And let her Butcher and her Baker stay, They're honest men, and I'll take order with them. They must till I am somewhat stronger purst. Here sirrah, here's for balls, there's for your self. Commend me to your mistress. Exit Spend. And how does thy wench i'faith. Talk, why let um talk, udsfoot I pay scot and lot, and all manner of duties else, as well as the best of um: it may be they understand I keep a whore, a horse, and a kennel of hounds, what's that to them? no men purse opens for't but mine own; and so long, my hounds shall eat flesh, my horse bred, and my who over wear velvet. Vdsfoote, shall I be confined all the days of my life to walk under a penthouse? no, I'll take my pleasure while my youth affords it. Why what's the matter? who has lost? Change your Game for dice, We are a full number for Novum. God save you Master Bubble. I have the dice, set Gentlemen. For me, six. What's yours sir? A pox upon these dice, give's a fresh bale. Fifteen pounds and upwards: is there never and ho nest fellow. You know my shop, bid my man deliver you a piece of three pile velvet, and let me have as much money as you dare adventure vpon't. A pox of this luck, it will not last ever: Play sir, I'll set you. T'is right sir, and ten that. V nh, and can a suit of Satin cheat so grossly? By this light there's nought on one die but fives and sixes, I must not be thus gulled. No sir, I have done. I have lost fifteen pounds. You say right, found it you have indeed, But never won it: do you know this die? You seem a Gentleman, and you may perceive. I have some respect unto your credit, To take you thus aside, will you restore What you would drawn from me unlawfully? You lie, you dare pot. So it, you must buy it dearer, The b st blood flows within you is the price. I am a Citizen. I'll say directly what I am, a Citizen, And I will meet thee in the field as fairly As the best Gentleman that wears a sword. Beyond the Maze in Tuttle. Single rapier. To morrow. Betwixt nine and ten. Farewell sir. This ground is firm and even, I'll go no further. Shame light on him that thinks his safety lies in a French doublet. Nay I would strip my self, would comeliness Give sufferance to the deed, and fight with thee, As naked as a Mauritanian More. Talk not what I am, until you have tried me. Now sir, your life is mine. Nobly resolved, I love thee for those words, Here take thy arms again, and if thy malice Have spent it self Like mine, then let us partly More friendly then we met at first encounter. Will you fight again then? Faith thou dost well then, justly to whip my folly. But come sir. Hurt! where? zownds I feel it not. Sblood, I think you wear a cats claw upon your Rapiers point, I am scratched indeed, but small as it's, I must have blood for blood. No by my Hope's, if I can seape that sin, And keep my good name, I'll never offer't. We both bleed now I take it, And if the motion may be equal thought, To partly with clasped hands: I shall first subscribe. Then join we both, and here our malice ends, Though foes we came to h field, we'll depart friends. Exeunt. I must upon promise; but I'll be here at supper: Therefore Mistress Sweatman, provide us some good cheer. Here's twenty shillings; I protest I have left my self but a Crown, for my spending money: for indeed I intend to be frugal, and turn good husband. Away, away, prithee no more: farewell. Thou art a loving Rascal; farewell. You have my word; farewell. Arrest me, at whose suit? Stay, hear me a word. Will you do it; To carry me to prison, but undoes me? Will you but walk with me unto that house, And there you shall receive it. Nan, I am come Even in the Minute that thou didst profess Kindness unto me, to make trial of it, Adversity thou Sees lays hands upon me, But Forty-shillings will deliver me, This is not earnest in you? Come, I know My guistes and bounty cannot be soon buried: Go prithee fetch Forty shillings? Furies break lose in me: Sergeants, let me go, I'll give you all I have, to purchase freedom but for a lightning while, to tear yond Whore. Baud, Pander; and in them, the Devil: for there's his Hell, his habitation; nor has he any other local place. Takes Spendals Cloak. Honest Sergeants, give me leave to unladen A heart overcharged with grief; as I have a soul, I'll not break from you. Thou Strumpet, that Wertenberg born to ruin men, My fame, and fortune: be subject to my Curse, And hear me speak it: Mayest thou in thy youth, Feel the sharp Whip; and in thy Beldame age, The Cart: when thou art grown to be And old Upholster unto Venery, (A Bawd I mean, to live by Fether-beds,) Mayest-thou be driven to fell all thou hast Unto thy Aquam vite Bottle ; that's the last A Bawd will partly withal; and line so poor, That being turned forth thy house, mayest die at door. A little further give me leave, I pray, I have a charitable Prayer to end with. May the French Canniball eat into thy flesh, And pick thy bones so clean, that the report Of thy Calamity, may draw resort Of all the common Sinners in the town, To see thy mangled Carcase: and that then, They may vpon't, turn honest; Bawd, say Amen. Exit. Money, why does he send to me? does he think I have the Philosophers Stones, or I can clip or coin? How does he think I can come by money? Then we must starve, belike: Udsfoot thou seest I have nothing left, that will yield me two shillings. What Ward should I remove in? I, out of the Almsbasket, where Charity appears In likeness of a piece of stinking Fish: Such as they Beatrice Bawds with when they are Carted. And yet slave, thou in pride wilt stop thy nose, Scrue and make faces, talk contemptibly of it, and of the feeders; surely groom. Hence slavish tyrants, instruments of torture, There is more kindness yet in Whores, then you, For when a man hath spent all, he may go And seek his way, theyle kick him out of doors; Not keep him in as you do, and enforce him To be the subject of their cruelty. You have no mercy; but be this your comfort The punishment and tortures which you do Iuflict on men, the Devils shall on you. Why villain, I shall have the worst, I know it, And am prepared to suffer Like a Stoic, Or else (to speak more properly) Like a Stock; For I have no sense left: dost thou think I have? Why, thou art i'th right; for I am mad indeed, And have been mad this two year. Dost thou think I could have spent so much as I have done In wares and credit, had I not been mad? Why thou must know, I had a fair estate, Which through my riot, I have torn in pieces, And scattered amongst Bawds, Buffoons, and Whores, That fawnd on me, and by their flatteries, Rocked all my understanding faculties Into a pleasant slumber; where I dreamt Of nought but joy and pleasure: never felt How I was lulled in sensuality, Until at last, Affliction waked me: And lighting up the Taper of my soul, Led me unto my self; where I might see A mind and body rend with Misery. I cannot eat, I thank you. To such a one as these are, must I come, Hunger will draw me into their fellowship, To fight and scramble for unsavoury Scraps, That come from unknown hands, perhaps unwashed: And would that were the worst; for I have noted, That nought goes to the Prisoners, but such food As either by the weather has been tainted, Or Children, nay sometime full paunched Dogs, Have overlickt, as if men had determined That the worst Sustenance, which is Gods Creatures, How ever they're abused, are good enough For such vild Creatures as abuse themselves. Oh what a Slave was I unto my Pleasures? How drowned in Sin, and overwhelmed in Lust? That I could write my repentance to the world, And force th'impression of it in the hearts Of you, and my acquaintance, I might teach them By my example, to look home to Thrift, And not to range abroad to seek out Ruin: Experience shows, his Purse shall soon grow light, Whom Dice wastes in the day, Drabs in the night: Let all avoid false Strumpets, Dice, and Drink; For he that leaps in Mud, shall quickly sink. Belike some charitable Friend has sent a Shilling, What is your Business? There's virtue in that word; I'll rise up to you. Pray let me hear that cheerful word again. Speak you this seriously? Be ever praised that Divinity, That has to my oppressed state raised Friends: still be his blessings poured upon their heads: Your hand, I pray, That have so faithfully performed their wills: If ere my industry, joined with their loves, Shall raise me to a competent estate, Your name shall ever be to me a friend. All Fees, you say, are paid? there's for your love. I come to crave a pardon sir, of you, And with hearty and zealous thanks Unto this worthy Lady, that hath given me More then I ere could hope for: Liberty. 'Tis bound unto you Sir. How ruthless men are to adversity, My acquaintance scarce will know me, when we meet They cannot stay to talk, they must be gone; And shake me by the hand as if I burned them: A man must trust unto himself, I see; For if he once but halt in his estate, Friendship will prove but broken Crutches to him: Well, I will lean to none of them, but stand Free of my self: and if I had a spirit Daring to act what I am prompted too, I must thrust out into the world again, Full blossomd with a sweet and golden Spring: It was and argument of love in her To fetch me out of Prison, and this night, She clasped my hand in hers, as who should say, Thou art my Purchase, and I hold thee thus: The worst is but repulse, if I attempt it: I am resolved, my Geneus whispers to me Go on and win her, thou art young and active; Which she is apt to catch at, for there's nought That's more unsteadfast, then a woman's thought. Pardon m e Lady, I have business to you. It does. Nay gentle Widow, be more pliant to me. My suit is soft and courteous: full of love. Of love. I have indeed, fair Lady; for my errand Should first have been delivered on your lips. Nay then I must be desperate: Widow, hold your Clapdish, fasten your Tongue Unto your Roof, and do not dare to call, But give me audience, with fear and silence: Come kiss me: No? This Dagger has a point, do you see it? And be unto my suit obedient, Or you shall feel it too: For I will rather totter, hang in clean Linen, Then live to scrub it out in lousy Linings. Go too, kiss: You will? why so: Again: the third time? Good, 'tis a sufficient Charm: Now hear me, You are rich in Money, Lands, and Lordship's, Manors, and fair Possessions, and I have not so much As one poor Copyhold to thrust my head in. Why should you not then have compassion upon a reasonable handsome fellow, That has both youth and livelihood upon him; And can at midnight quicken and refresh Pleasures decayed in you? You want Children, And I am strong, lusty, and have a back Like Hercules, able to get them Without the help of Muscadine and Eggs: And will you then, that have enough, Take to your Bed a bundle of diseases, Wrapped up in threescore years, to lie a hawking, Spitting, and coffing backwards and forward That you shall not sleep; but thrusting forth Your face out of the Bed, be glad to draw The Curtains, such a steam shall reek Out of this dunghill. Now what say you Shall we without further wrangling clap it up, And go to Bed together? Yes with all my heart, So the first word may be, Untruss your Points. Zounds one knocks: do not stir I charge you, Nor speak, but what I bid you: For by these Lips, which now in love I kiss, If you but struggle, or but raise your voice, My arm shall rise with it, and strike you dead. Go too, come on with me, and ask who's there? No matter, do as I bid you: say, Who's there? If it be you, forsooth, then pray stay. Till I shall call upon you. Very well, why now I see Thou'lt prove and obedient wise, come, let's undress. You shall pardon me (Widow) I must have you grant first. Not till I have some token of your love. Then set your hand to this, nay it's a contract Strong and sufficient, and will hold in Law, Here, here's pen and cke, you see I come provided. Why here's some comfort, Yet write your name fair I pray, And at large; why now it's very well, Now widow you may admit your Maid, For i'th next room I'll go fetch a nap. Thou art a good wench i'faith, come kiss vpon't. As true to thee, as Steel to Adamant. Push, pre thee do not doubt me, How now, what means this? Is this according to your oath. I pre thee do. And when thou takest that from me, take my life too. Never, never: When ere my tongue shall speak but well of thee, It proves no faithful servant to my heart. May I be burned to ugliness, to that Which you and all men hate, but I speak truth. I am glad it's come to this yet, by this light Thou puttest me into a horrible fear: But this is my excuse: know that my thoughts Were not so desperate as my actions seemed, For before my dagger should would drawn one drop Of thy chaste blood, it should have sluice out mine: And the cold point struck deep into my heart: Nor better be my fate, if I shall move To any other pleasure but thy love. Out with the Candle, who's that asks the question? It should be, by the voice, young Rash. Why we are honest folks. Why we dwell, zownds where do we dwell? I know not where. But my still worthy friend, Is there no worse face of ill bent towards me, Then that thou merrily puttest on. Yes sir, we are married. We shall go the right way anon, I hope. Ecee signum, here's the wedding Ring t'affirme it. If through my riot I have offensive been, Henceforth I'll play the civil Citizen. Will you have it for thirteen shillings and six pence? I'll fallen to as low a price as I can, because I'll buy your cum stome. Do you hear sir? Come, come, no more of this; thou dost but dissemble. Nay, I knew what I did, when I came with my naked weapon in my hand; but come, unlace. Good day to you Gentlemen. Yes, canst furnish me? Hear you sir, a word. Yes sir.