JOYCE

Now the boy with the Bird-bolt be praised: nay faith sister forward, was and excellent passion, come let's hear, what is he? if he be a proper man, and have a black eye, a smooth chin, and a curled pare, take him wench, if my father will not consent, run away with him, I'll help to convey you. Sister, sister, dissemble not with me, though you do mean to dissemble with your lover, though you have pro tested to conceal your affection; by this tongue you shall not, for I'll discover all as soon as I know the Gentleman. Marry, enough I'll warrant thee, first and foremost, I'll tell him thou readest love-passions in print, and speakest every morning without book to thy lookingglass; next, that thou never sleepest, till and hour after the Bell man; that as soon as thou art asleep, thou art in a dream, and in a dream thou art the kindest and comfortablest bedfellow for kissings and embracings; by this hand, I can not rest for thee, but our fa there. — Bubble! Nothing, but that I wish his Christian name were Uva er. Sister, sister. Shall I provide a Cord? Why to let thee out at the window; do not I know that thou wilt run away with the Gentleman, for whom you made the passion, rather then endure this same Bubble, that my father talks of, t'were good you would let me be of your council, lest I break the neck of your plot. You say well sister, but it is not good to linger out too long, continuance of time will take away any men stomach i'th world; I hope the next time that he comes to you, I shall see him. Why go to then, you shall have my opinion of him, if he deserve thee, thou shalt delay him no longer; for if you can not find in your heart to tell him you love him, I'll sighs it out for you; come, we little creatures must help one another. Do you hear sir? By my maidenhead, and oath which I never took in vain, either go down and comfort him, or I'll call him up, and disclose all: What, will you have no mercy? but let a pro per man, that might spend the spirit of his youth upon your self, fallen into a consumption, for shame sister. Marry, I would have you go to him, take him by the hand, and gripe him, say you're welcome, I love you with all my heart, you are the man must do the feat, and take him about the neck, and kiss upon the bargain. Marry the better, for such as are honest, Should still do what the common strumpet will no : Speak, will you do it? Which of the two no matter, For one beats on a Drum, tother a Platter. I pray Sir do. Very good Sir. What do they do? How Sir, and Ass? Nay that you are not. Why here's a Gentleman your friend, will not say so. So I do sir. The fellow sure is frantic. Yes indeed sir. By my faith 'tis a pretty four square Leg. Yes that I can sir. Well sir, disparage not your self so: for if you were The man you'd make your self; yet out of your Behaviour and discourse, I could find cause enough To love you. No sir? why now you break a good Jest. Who he? he's a Coxcomb indeed. And they shall be sworn Brother's too? What heinous sin has yonder man committed, To have so great a punishment, as wait upon the humours of and idle Fool: A very proper Fellow, good Leg, good Face, A Body well proportioned: but his mind Betrays he never came of Generous kind. To wrestle gainst the stream of our Affection, Is to strike Air, or buffet with the Wind, That plays upon us: I have strived to cast This fellow from my thoughts, but still he grows More comely in my sighed; yet a slave Unto one worse conditioned then a Slave: They are all gone, here's none but he, and I, Now I will speak to him: and yet I will not. O! I wrong my self, I will suppress That insurrection Love hath trained in me, And leave him as he is: once m bold spirits Had vowed to utter all my thoughts to him On whom I settled my affection: And why r tires it now? I wonder why he stays; I fear he notes me, For I have publicly betrayed my self, By too much gazing on him: I will leave him. What mean you sister? Nay prithee leave this jesting, I am out of the vain. I'll first be buried quick. Nay then we shall hate. No. Why Sister, I pray Sister. No sir, here's no one called. My Sister's somewhat frantic; there's no regard to be had unto her clamours: Will you yet leave? In faith you'll anger me. Yes, is your humour spent? Why did my inquiring eye take in this fellow, And let him down so easy to my heart; Where Like a Conqueror he ceases on it, And beats all other men out of my Bossome See, the Servingman is turned a Gentleman, That villainous Wench my Sister, has no mercy, She and my Brother has conspired together to play upon me; But I'll prevent their sport: for rather then my tongue shall have scope to speak matter to give them mirth, my heart shall break. My heart is swollen so big, that it must vent, Or it will burst: Are you a Brother? Has shame that power in him, to make him fly: And dare you be so impudent to stand Just in the face of my incensed anger? What are you? why do you stay? who sent for you? You were in Garments yesterday, befitting A fellow of your fashion; has a Crown Purchased that shining Satin of the Brokers? Or is't a cast Suit of your goodly Masters. You think it does become you: faith it does not, A Blue Coat with a Badge, does better with you. Go untruss your Masters Points, and do not dare To stop your Nose when as his Worship stinks: TO a's been your breeding. Nay, were you a Gentleman: and which is more; Well Landed, I should hardly love you: For, for your Face, I never saw a worse, It looks as if't were drawn with yellow Oacker Upon black Buckram: and that Hair Thats on your Chin, looks not Like Beard, But as ift had been smeard with Shoemakers Wax. How dares your Baseness once aspire unto So high a fortune, as to reach at me: Because you have herd, that some have run away With Butlers, Horskeepers, and their father's Clerks; You forsooth, cockerd with your own suggestion, Take heart vpon't, and think me, (that am meat, And set up for your Master) fit for you. Or cause, some times as I have passed along, And have returned a Curtcie for your Hat; You (as the common tricks is) straight suppose, 'Tis Love, (sirreuerence, which makes the word more beastly.) But we are fools, and in our reputations We find the smart on't: Kindness, is termed Lightness, in our sex: And when we give a Favour, or a Kiss, We give our Good names too. Men you are called, but you're a viperous brood, Whom we in charity take into our bosoms, And cherish with our heart: for which, you sting us. What, have you fetched your Champion? what can he do? Not have you, nor himself from out the storm Of my incensed rage; I will thunder into your ears, The wrongs that you have done and innocent Maid: O you're a cupple of sweet: What shall I call you? Men you are not; for if you were, You would not offer this unto a Maid. Wherein have I deserved it at your hands? Have I not been, always a kind Sister to you; & in signs & tokens showed it? Did I not send Money to you at Cambridge when you were but a Freshman, wrought you Purses and Bands; and since you came toth'Inn's a Court, a fair pair of Hangers? Have you not taken Rings from me, which I have been feign to say I have lost, when you had paund them: and yet was never be holding to you for a pair of Gloves? And yet you to join with my sister against me, Send one here to play upon me, while you laugh and leere, And make a pastime on me: is this Brotherly done? No it is Barbarous, & a Turk would blush to offer it to a Chri stian: but I will think on't, and have it written in my heart, when it hath slipped your memories. Never. What would you, Sir? Upon no Finger. What to do, sir? I'll meet thee Like a Ghost first. Matter as poisoning as Corruption, That will without some Antidote strike home Like blue Infection to the very heart. To morrow is the appointed Wedding day. Sir, I do know you love me; and the time Will not be dallied with: be what you seem, Or not the same: I am your Wife, your Mistress, Or your Servant; indeed what you will make me: Let us no longer wrangle with our Wits, Or dally with our Fortune's; led me hence, And carry me into a Wilderness: I'll fast with you, rather then feast with him. Nay Brother, you will not leave us thus, I hope. Do you hear sir? here's a Gentlewoman would speak with you. One that loves you with all her heart, yet is ashamed to confess it. Do not jest with me, for by this hand I'll either get him up, or go down my self, and read the whole Him story of your love to him. Let me see your back then, and hear you? do not use him scurvily you were best; unset all your tyrannical looks, and bid him lovingly welcome, or as I live, I'll stretch out my voice again; uds foot, I must take some pains I see, or we shall never have this gear cotton: but to say truth, the fault is in my melancholy Monsieur, for if he had but half so much spirit, as he has flesh, he might would boarded her by this. But see, yonder she marches; now a passion of his side of half and hour long, his hat is off already, as if he were begging one poor pennyworth of kindness. Enter Gart. Fie upon him, I am ashamed to hear him, you shall have a Country fellow at a Maypole, go better to his work: he had need to be constant, for he is able to spoil as many Maids as he shall fallen in love withal. Do you hear sir? Look up to the window. I call to speak with you, pray stay a little. Let me go you were best, for if you wrestle with me I shall throw you, passion, come back, fool, lover, turn a gain, and kiss your belly full; For here she is will stand you, do your worst: Will you let me go? If I stir a foot, hang me, you shall come together of your selves, and be nought, do what you will, for if here I trouble my self again, let me want help In such a case when I needs. I will be angry, udsfoot, I cannot indu e such fool rye, I, two bashful fools that would couple together, and yet would not the faces. Come, come, let me go, birds that want the use of reason and speech, can couple together in one day, and yet you that have both, cannot conclude in twenty. Do not talk to me, for I am deaf to any thing you say, go weep and cry. You should not needs, for and you were not my bro there, I should fallen in love with you, for I love a proper man with my heart, and so does all the Sex of us, let my sister dissem ble never so much, I am out of charity with these nice and sque mish tricks, we were born for men, and men for us, and we must together. And let me enjoy that Jewel, for I love plain deam ling with my heart. No, look you sir, could you wish a man to come better upon his Q, let us withdraw. Silence. Fie upon her, she's good for nothing then, no more then a jade that knows his own strength: The window is clasped, now brother, pursue your project, and deliver your friend from the tyranny of my domineering sister. Sir, you're my brother's friend, and I'll be plain with you, you do not take the course to win my sister, but indi rectly go about the bush: you come and siddle here, and keep a coil in verse: hold off your hat, and beg to kiss her hand, which makes her proud. But to be short, in two lines thus it is: Who most does love, must seem most to neglect it, For those that show most love, are least respected. Peace, give ear to the passion. Why so la, here's and end of and old Song, Why could not this have been done before I pray? Spare me not, for wheresoever I set my affection, all though it be upon a Colliar, if I fallen back, unless it be in the right kind, bind me to a stake, and let me be burned to death with charcoal. Come wench. Exeunt omnes. With me sir? One is Spendall. If with my clamours I have done you wrong, Ever hereafter I will hold my tongue. You're merely disposed, Sister. Nay that can not be for they ay, they that are mad, lose their wits: and I am sure he had none to lose.