ARTHUR

I Tell you true Sir, but to every man I would not be so lavish of my speech, Only to you my deer and private friend, Although my wife in every eye, be held Of beauty and of grace sufficient, Of honest birth and good behaviour, Able to win the strongest thoughts to her, Yet in my mind I hold her the most hated And loathed object that the world can yield. Not in mine eye. My reason is my mind, my ground my will, I will not love her: If you ask me why I cannot love her, let that answer you. All your persuasions are to no effect, Never allege her virtues nor her beauty, My settled unkindness hath begotten A resolution to be unkind still, My ranging pleasures love variety. Sir, though it be my father's pleasure thus To wrong me with the scorned name of knave, I will not have you so familiar, Nor so presume upon my patience. My Father may command my patience, But you sir that are but my Father in law, Shall not so mock my reputation, Sir you shall find I am and honest man. I sir, so I say. I say again I am and honest man, He wrongs me that shall say the contrary. If in mine own house I can have no place, I'll seek it elsewhere, and frequent it less, Father I am now passed one and twenty years, I am passed my Father's pampering, I suck not: Nor am I dandled on my mother's knee: Then if you were my Father twenty times, You shall not choose but let me be my self. Do I come home so seldom, and that seldom Am I thus baited? Wife remember this. Father farewell, and Father in law adieu: Your son had rather fast, then feast with you. A pretty wench, a passing pretty wench, A sweeter duck all London cannot yield, She cast a glance on me as I passed by, Not Hellen had so ravishing and eye. Here is the Pedant Sir Aminadab, I will inquire of him if he can tell By any circumstance whose wife she: Such fellows commonly have intercourse Without suspicion, where we are debarred. God save you gentle Sir Aminadab. You are a man I much rely upon: There is a pretty wench dwells in this street, That keeps no shop, nor is not public known: At the two posts, next turning of the Lane, I saw her from a window looking out: Oh could you tell me how to come acquainted With that sweet Lass, you should command me sir, Even to the utmost of my life and power. Tell how I speed, I sir I will to you: Then presently about it. Many thanks For this great kindness Sir Aminadab. By your leave Mistress. To give me leave to love you. Try me by my word, for I say I am a man, Or by my deed, I'll prove my self a man. That I love you, let my face tell you: that I love you more then ordinarily, let this kiss testify: and that I love you fernently and entirely, ask this gift, and see what it will answer you. My self, my purse, and all being wholly at your service. Faith Mistress Marry at the point of death, And long she cannot live, she shall not live To trouble me in this my second choice. Farewell sweet Mistress Marry. Good morrow gentlemen, saw you not this way As you were walking, Sir Aminadab? Nay now I will enforce a promise from you, Shall I expect you? I double all your farewells twenty fold. On that condition I'll conceal this deed, To morrow pray come and dine with me: For I have many strangers, amongst the rest, Some are desirous of your company. You will not fail me? What gentlewoman? Gentlemen all, I pray you seat your selves: What sir Aminadab, I know where your heart is. So, who gives thanks? I pray you too it by and by, where's Pipkin, Wait at the board, let M. Reasons man Be had into the buttery, but first give him A napkin and a trencher. Well said Hugh, Wait at your Masters elbow, now say grace. Well sir about your business: now will I Temper the Cup my loathed wife shall drink: Oh here the wofuls husband comes alive, No husband now, the wight that did uphold That name of husband is now quite orethrowne, And I am left a hapless Widower. Go in, go in, and view the sweetest Course That ere was laid upon a mournful room, You cannot speak for weeping sorrows doom. Badnewes are rife, good tidings seldom come. What Mistress Marry! In faith sweet heart I saw thee yesternight. I prithee be patient, I had some occasion That did enforce me from thee yesternight. Nay weep not wench, thou woundest me with thy tears. I told thee so, & I will keep my word, And for that end I came thus early to thee: I have procured a licence, and this night: We will be married in a lawless Church. I wench, to night. A son and odd days since my wife died Is passed already, and her timeless death, Is but a nine days talk, come go with me, And it shall be dispatched presently. My love and kindness Like my age shall grow, And with the increase, and thou shalt see, The older I grow, the kinder I will be. With thee to the world's end. Whose beauty most admire, and all commend. Where are thou patience? Nay rather where become my former spleen? I had a wife would not have used me so. I had a wife would not have used me so, But she is dead. Where is my spirit, what shall I main taine A strumpet with a Brabo and her bawd, To beard me out of my authority. What am I from a master made a slave? I had a wife would not have used me so, But God is joust. Shall I be ouermaistred in my own? Be thy self Arthur, strumpet he shall stay. Is there no law for this? she is my wife, Should I complain, I should be rather mocked: I am content, keep by thee whom thou list. Discharge whom thou thinkest good, do what thou wilt, Rise, go to bed, stay at home, or go abroad At thy good pleasure keep all companies: So that for all this, I may have but peace. Be unto me as I was to my wife, Only give me what I denied her then, A little love, and some small quietness. If he displease thee, turn him out of doors. Marry what cause hast thou to use me thus? From nothing I have raised thee to much wealth, It more then I did owe thee: many a pound, Nay many a hundred pound I spent on thee In my wives time, and once but by my means Thou hads been in much danger, but in all things My purse and credit ever bore thee out: I did not owe thee this, I had a wife That would have laid her self beneath my feet To do me service, her I set at nought For the entire affection I bore thee. To show that I have loved thee, have I not Above all women made chief choice of thee? And argument sufficient of my love, What reason then hast thou to wrong me thus? But more then fair, was she not virtuous Endued with the beauty of the mind? Hark in thine ear, I'll trust thee with my life, Then which what greater instance of my love: Thou knewest full well how suddenly she died, To enjoy thy love even then I poysonder her. Wilt thou not keep my counsel? Oh whither shall I fly to save my life, When murder and despair dogs at my heals? Oh misery, thou never foundest a friend, All friends forsake men in adversity: My brother hath denied to succour me, Upbraiding me with name of murderer. My uncle's double bar their doors against me; My father hath denied to shelter me, And cursed me worse then Adam did vile Eve. I that within these two days had more friends Then I could number with Arithmatike, Have now no more then one poor Cipher is, And that poor Cipher I supply my self. All that I durst commit my Fortune's too, I have tried, & find none to relieve my wants, My sudden flight, and fear of future shame, Left me unfurnished of all necessaries, And these three days I have not tasted food. You say true mistress: then for charity, And for her sake whom you resemble most, Pity my present want and misery. First look that no man see, or overhear us, I think that shape was born to do me good. Born of good parents, & as well brought up. Most fair, but not so fair as virtuous, Happy in all things but her marriage. Her riotous husband, which I weep to think, By his lewd life made them both miscarry. Oh blame me not, that man my kinsman was, Nearer to me a kinsman could not be, As near allied was that chaste woman too, Nearer was never husband to his wife: He whom I termed my friend, no friend of mine, Proving both mine and his own enemy, Poisoned his wife, o the time he did so, Joyed at her death, inhumane slave to do so, Exchanged her love for a base strumpets lust; Foul wretch, accursed villain, to exchange so. Oh hear the justice of the highest heaven, This strumpet in reward of all his love, Pursues him for the death of his first wife, And now the woeful husband languishes, Flies upon pursued by her fierce hate, And now too late he does repent her sin, Ready to perish in his own despair, Having no means but death to rid his care. Why weep you Mistress? if you had the heart Of her whom you resemble in your face, But she is dead, and for her death, The spuage of either eye, Shall weep read tears till every vain is dry. No friend of mine, I was my own souls foe To murder my chased wife, that loved me so. In life she loved me dearer then her life, What husband here, but would wish such a wife. I hear the Officers with hue and cry, She saved my life but now, and now I die. And welcome death, I will not stir from hence, Death I deserved, I'll die for this offence. It shall not needs, I do confess the deed, Of which this woman here accuseth me: I poisoned my first wife, and for that deed I yield me to the mercy of the law. I mean her, I do confess the deed, And though my body taste the force of Law, Like and offender, on my knee I begs, Your angry soul will pardon me her death. I had a wife would not have used me so, The wealth of Europe could not hire her tongue, To be offensive to my patient ears, But in exchanging her, I did prefer A devil before a Saint, night before day, Hell before heaven, and dross before tried gold, Never was bargain with such damage sold. Death's bitter pangs are not so full of grief, As this unkindness: every word thou speakest, Is a sharp dagger thrust quite through my heart. As little I deserve this at thy hands, As my kind patient wife deserved of me, I was her torment, God hath made thee mine, Then wherefore at joust plagues should I repine? I had the poison of Aminadab, But innocent man, he was not accessary To my wives death, I clear him of the deed. 'Tis true I took it from this man perforce, And snatched it from his hand by rude constraint, Which proves him in this act not culpable. I think my wives ghost haunts me to my death, Wretch that I was to shorten her lives breath. I know not what I am, nor where I am, My souls transported to and ecstasy, For hope and joy confound my memory. Still fear & hope my grief & woe prolongs. But tell me by what power thou didst survive? with my own hands I tempered that vild draught That sent thee breathless to thy grandsires graven, If that were poison I received from him. And that same powder I commixed with wine, Our godly knot of wedlock to untwine. My first wife stand you here, my second there, And in the amid my self: he that will choose A good wife from a bade, come other of me That have tried both, in wealth and misery. A good wife will be careful of her fame, Her husbands credit, and her own good name: And such art thou. A bade wife will respect Her pride, her lust, and her good name neglect, And such art thou. A good wife will be still In dustrious, apt to do her husbands will. But a bade wife, cross, spiteful and madding, Never keep home, but always be a gadding: And such art thou. A good wife will conceal Her husbands dangers, and nothing reveal That may procure him harm, and such art thou. But a bade wife corrupts chased wedlock's vow. On this hand virtue, and on this hand sin, This who would strive to lose, or this to win? Here lives perpetual joy, here burning woe, Now husbands choose on which hand you will go. Seek virtuous wives, all husbands will be blessed, Fair wives are good, but virtuous wives are best, They that my Fortune's will peruse, shall find No beauty's Like the beauty of the mind. But soft sir, see where my two father's are Busily talking, let us shrink aside, For if they see me, they are bent to chide. Pipkin what said she when she sent for me? Did I not tell you she was melancholy? For nothing else but that she sent for me, And fearing I would come to dine with her. No not I, will you go in sir? Hark master Lusam, if she mock me not, You are welcome home sir, am I welcome home, Good faith I care not if I be or no. She weeps, but why? that I am come so soon To hinder her of some appointed guests, That in my absence revels in my house: She weeps to see me in her company, And were I absent, she would laugh with joy. She weeps to make me weary of the house, Knowing my heart cannot away with grife. Do you not hear, she would enforce her heart, All mirth is forced that she can make with me. Would, would, a miracle, a progedie, To see a woman weep is as much pity As to see Foxes dug out of their holes: If thou wilt pleasure me, let me see thee less, Grieve much: they say grief often shortens life, Come not too near me, till I call he wife. And that will be but seldom, I will tell thee How thou shalt win my heart, die suddenly, And I'll become a lusty widower: The longer thy life lasts the more my hate, And loathing still increases towards thee. When I come home & find thee cold as earth, The ̄ will I love thee: thus thou knowest my mind. Come M. Lusam, let us in to dine. If I obtain her, thou shalt win thereby, More then at this time I will promise thee. What if her husband come & find one there? I would you would assoon love me, as I could leave you. A man I'll assure you. Not M. Arthur, but Arthur, and your servant sweet Mistress Marry. Not within. Sir the same. Sweet M. Anselm I desire yours too: Will you come dine with me at home to morrow, You shall be welcome I assure you sir. You shall be welcome if you bring your friend. What do I hear of poison, which sweet means Must make me a brave frolic widower? It seems the doting fool being forlorn Hath God some compound mixture, in despair To end his desperate Fortune's and his life: I'll get it from him, and with this make way To my wives night, and to my Loves fair day. Hold man I say, what will the mad mad do? I have I God thee, thou shalt go with me: No more of that, fie Sir Minadab Destroy your self: If I but hear hereafter You practice such revenge upon your self, All your friends shall know that for a wench, A paltry wench, you would have killed your self. She shall, she shall man never fear. Oh I am glad I have thee, now devise A way how to bestow it cunningly: It shall be thus: to morrow I'll pretend A recocilement betwixt my wife and me, And to that end I will invite thus many: First Justice Reason, as the chief man there. My Father Arther, old Lusam, young Lusam, M. Fuller, And M. Anselm I have bid already. Then will I have my lovely Marry too, Be it but to spite my wife before she die: For die she shall before to morrow night. The operation of this poison is Not suddenly to kill, they that take it Fallen in a sleep, and then 'tis passed recure, And this will I put in her Cup to morrow. I cannot come to night, some urgent business Will all this night employ me otherwise. Here take my purse, and bid my wife provide Good cheer against to morrow, there will be Two or three strangers of my late acquaintance. Sirrah go you to Justice Reasons house, Invite him first with all solemnity. Go to my Father's, and my Father in laws, Here take this note. The rest that come I will invite my self, About it with what quick dispatch thou canst. Sirrah be gone, or I will send you hence. Sweet Mistress Marry I'll invite my self: And there I'll frolic, sup, and spend the night. My Plot is currant, here 'tis in my hand Will make me happy in my second choice, And I may freely challenge as mine own, What I am how infore't to seek by stealth. Love is not much unlike Ambition, For in them both all lets must be removed Betwixt every Crown & him that would aspire, And he that will attempt to win the same, Must plunge up to the depth over head & ears, And hazard drowning in that purple sea. So he that loves, must needs through blood and fire, And do all things to compass his desire. Gentlemen, welcome all, whilst I deliver Their private welcomes, Wife be it your charge, To give this Gentlewoman entertainment. Gentles, put over your legs, first M. Justice, Here you shall fit. Pardon me sir, she shall have my wives place. Gentleme ̄ , welcome all, now hear me speak; One special cause that moved me led you hither, Is for ancient grudge that hath long since Continued betwixt my modest wife and me, The wrongs that I have done her, I recant. In either hand I hold a several Cup, This in the right hand, Wife I drink to thee, This in the left hand pledge me in this draught, Burying all former hatred, so have to thee. Make that account; thus Gentlemen you see, Our late discord brought to a unity. So much good do you all, and Gentlemen, Accept your welcomes better then your cheer. I pray you do, good sir Aminadab. Come wife, this meeting was all for our sakes, I long to see the force my poison takes. Art thou yet pleased? Good friends for manners sake a while with draw. Oh but such humours honest wives should purge: He show thee a far greater instance yet Of the true love that I have born to thee, knewest my brother's wife, was she not fair? Faith so they said. Does no man follow me? Oh how suspicious guilty murder is, I starve for hunger, and I die for thirst: Had I a kingdom I would fell my Crown For a small bit of bred: I shame to beg, And yet perforce I must or beg or starve. This house belike longs to some gentlewoman, And heres a woman, I will beg of her: Good mistress look upon a proore men wants. Whom do I see? tush Arthur she is dead: But that I saw her dead and buried, I would have sworn it had be Arthurs wife: But I will leave her, shame forbids me beg On one so much resembles her. Nay never strive, behold I yield my self, I must commend your resolution, That being so many and so weaponed, Dare not adventure on a man unarmed. Now led me to what prison you think best, Yet use me well, I am a Gentleman. Dost thou reward me thus for all my love? Then Arthur fly and seek to save thy life, Oh difference betwixt a chased and unchaste wife. I Mistress, I cannot choose but weep To call to mind the Fortune's of her youth.