INFAELICTO

It is almost eleven. We had very short commons. and I am hungry S ill: we had no meat but your reversion, and the scraps of your trencher when I changed with you. I can soon have him if all other things were rea die: you know where you left him at the Ladies, where you both dined. He said he would follow you. I marvel he is so long. But I warrant they are up to the noses in the new book de flatibus. It is best for me to know if the bonds be ready before I fetch him, lest he be angry to leave the La die company before need require. Intrat Parvagracio. But look where he is come alone without carrying Sir you saved me a labour. I was sent for you. Can you smell out good bargains? you come without calling. When thrift is n the market you are ever in the way? My Master shall have money, and you must be bound with him. Here, at hand. Now to the S rivener and broker go I. Sir, the bonds be ready for the seal. I have seen the commodity of rags, and I Like them well. They never dusty you except they be stirred. But they are foul and hea vy. I wood we had sold them by gold smiths weight for so much in silver. I did see a fellow lift a bundle of them up to a car, and he grunted hard; he made me remember my La die book de flatibus. For I looked ever when he would have let fly. Sir, he was asleep when I came to his chamber, but his page waked him. He remembers his love, and desires you to Beatrice his chamber and hour hence, then his Barber comes, as he does every Sunday in steed of prayers. He charged me to tell you that he hath and ounce of the most transcend ̄ to Tobaccho that ever crossed the salts, sent him by a Lady of his secret knowledge and yours, with whom you both must dine this day. The property of this Tobaccho is to yield a porringer full of Rheum every pipefull: and pro cure ventosity conveniently to descend very odoriferous, and secure from audibility. She reserves store of it for her own special use in times of necessity, as of attendance in Court, hearing of Plays, itting at Cards, and the Like. Fur there, that a little of it taken pill-fashion, will diffuse and di sperse mixion, so that a Lady may abide in company forty eight hours, not disposed to evaporation. Beside he willed me to tell you that this Lady yesterday hath received a book from a friend of hers that went over with Sir Rob rt Sherley in oh Persia, entitled de flatibus separandis ac dividen dis, Cos que emittendis; not forward at the face as gamers use to do in wars, but a e e, as Iacke-an-apes delivers squibs, written by a learned Physician doctorated by the magnifi cent order of the Mountebanks there, she will anon at di ner entreat you two to lay your heads together for transla ting this book into English. And where you find any sent worth the nothing you will make stops upon it, and deli ver your opinion by way of comment for the better under taking the fence, with the particular causes and effects of e very several and distinct ume produced thereby. And here after at better leisure she will have the subject of the whole book Anatomatized by her own Surgeon, and set forth in endue proportion and colours, and give it a convenient room in her gallery. Alas we left nothing but bore bones. we had but a quarter of a neck of mutton between three, and Parvam gracio and I eat no meat nor bred since yesternight at 10 clock: and from my trencher thou couldst get little but the fat squeezed from the flesh which I eat. I was so hungry that me thought I could have eaten that small Lady, and her great cheer all at a meal. Here go thou to dinner at some ordinary (he puts his hand in his pocket but finds nothing there) stay till I have money: thou canst fast a little, canst thou not? Yes a little, if I can get no meat. To tell you the naked truth Sir I have been asleep till I herd you call for your g lashes: for I was so hungry, that if I had not slept I committed Burglary somewhere to get victuals: Now I'll find him out. ( ee steps forward, and turns again say g) but I pray you Sir remember to give me my two sh llings you promised me for bringing news of your dinner. Now you shall have money, I speak before it be gone. Why sir, if you be let it not trouble you, I hope you shall have better luck in greater matters, & yet if she have a good portion you are happy, if she have none, yet you may be even with her if it please you all hough she prou roaring girl. Marry to have as little as she. And if I were you I would serve her so, teach her to come mptie handed to a man of your spending. Well: we must make the most of her that I can now have her: and take no care for any thing that the way to live long and leave nothing.