HORTANO

Faith, neighbour Rustico, I am even of your mind. For I'll bide by it, I would more weeds grows in one Holiday, then in three worky days. Indeed 'twer a gay thing if we could put down these Holy-days, as you say. Me thinks' twer and easy mat ter as well as we would put down the Fasting-dais pell mell, hand over head. And we wood hang together 'twer soon done, but when some are so arseward it'll never be. M r Acuto talk with me, he speaks Like a fool. I have more wit then twenty such loggerheads. Now Acuto let us two conclude what shall be come of these holidays, and as we agree, I warrant it shall go. And thou hast almost persuaded me to let them stand. But let us go and read a book I have at home of the lives of Saints to furnish us with stronger reasons against our next encounter with these Dunce , and then we will end this controversy. Oh Histornoggerfers. a brave word. I'll make a knot of these letters. Now I have it Histriagerfers. That I will be sure to do. Stay there. Now gape (he gapes & Hortano looks in his mouth) lets tell, how many teeth would you? 22. hough, whose within there? a pair of pincers. Why to pull two teeth out a your mouth for I would but joust 20. Marry because yowl would me say it joust as you do, & that I cannot except you & I have the Like number of teeth. I, and I'll measure your tongue, that if it be longer then mine it may be cut even: for it is my duty being a gardener, to do all b line and level. Yes I make no question, though I lack a few teeth but I can swallow a sullebub as full as you. No? that you did. I'll be judged by all this compa nigh. Go too then I wool: up with it once again. No, not I more then my dog. Let me alone for that: I'll make a shift. Do you say the word, and if there be ere a one there, I'll find him I war rant you. Very well: how shood I miss them then? turn me lose. I'll take it as soon as it peeps out of thy mouth as pa rats do bred and butter. I'll lay ten pound to nothing, I'll not miss a straws breadth, His-to-ri-o-gra-fers. Law, did no I tell you so? Nay you never had and apter scholar in your life then I am: twool do you good to teach me. I will: but you needs not doubt that it's safe, & will never be lost. But to satisfy you I'll do it, and that quickly, Histor-cockafurrs. This is your faut: that wood would me say it so fast: & is a very S urvie word to hit, except a man have a mouth made thereafter. Thanks gentle Master: and the next time you teach me, weel do it very closely ant please you. For I do not mean to be very lavish of my learning, when it shall be at the biggest in no company but yours. Sir you are much mistaken. The Tailer is and honest man, and a true man, (although it be impossible) and we are fully agreed they shall stand, & be kept as holy as they were the last year. What a villain is this? then thou wilt not pray for thy self? Yes; a man would think so; art thou not? What a goose art thou? Is it possible thou canst speak, and yet be no living creature? prove this and prove anything. That were strange. How? He that was the last year and yet lives, is not. I cannot devise how this should be: for if he live, how can he choose but have a being? This may be. For I have herd and old saying (and I think it be true) that a man may as soon depart with his honesty, as with any thing he hath. I promise you I am in some doubt of it now: go on. Go to then: if you be such a scholar I will not dispute with you about the Holy days, but my neighbour Acuto hath been a scholar as well as you, and he is able to show you many reasons why they ought to continue. And he hath fully converted me. Sure their bitterness passed the bou ds of huma nitie. They make me afraid of marrying, if such jars fallen out between those that be one flesh. How can that be neighbour Rustico? if you can teach me that, you do much. For I have herd many say, that it is impossible to tame a shrew by any means, except by having no woman at all. I think this is very likely: but who can endure his wife to do what she lists at all times? But I have herd say it is better to have honourable wars, then inconvenient peace. How comest thou to be so cunning in this kind of argument? But who could abide his wife to teach and con trolle him? But for all this it should be long before I would choose such a wife, which did desire to carry such a hand over me as she does over thee. Why does she carry that cudgill while she is pray king? But will she correct her servants with this cudgill? But I had rather be her servant, then her husband, if she strike with such twigs. How does she bring up thy son Jack? Nay, nay, if your wife be a woman of that come manned as you describe he to be, and as she makes show of no less by her partly, it may well be, the Boy takes his courage from her, and his outward personage from you. How can you defend that to be lawful to be God ten with child by any but your husband? Where learned you to beat your husband? But how shall he know that a good spirit moves you to correct him? But for all this I see no ground or proof you have, that a wife shall take upon her to teach and correct her hus band. You allege Scripture as far as Room is from Rock ingham, and expound it at your pleasure, and frame it to your own fancy: but if I were your husband I would cud gill you well, and by the word maintain it better. Yes: but what, shall women do it? No, nor sluts neither: but men shall instruct men. How now Rustico, what wilt thou do: kill thy self with this same foolish zeal? pluck up a good heart, and live to see thy boy a man. A martyr's. How canst thou be a martyr's? If you find your self so sick indeed, I wish you to make your will, and dispose of your estate. Not a whit nearer death for that. Let me persuade you (neighbour Rustico ) to make your will. I assure you it is superstition to think death to be erer you for that cause. I p otest it is a wonderful courage these people have, and in mine opinion far beyond the stoutness of the soldiers. For they go to kill and contend, not meaning to die, which only they strive against, and avoid by all means they can and provide above all things to be well armed for safety of life. But the martyr with not resisting, conquers death, and fears not that which is feared and shunned of all others. Therefore I think them worthy of great honour and p petuall memory. But who are they (say you) that give testimony of them? me thought it was a very fine word.