SLITGUT

All hail, fair Haven of married men only, for there are none but married men Cuckolds. For my partly, I presume not to arrive here, but in my Masters behalf, (a poor But cher of Eastcheap) who sends me to set up (in honour of Saint Lycia) these necessary Ensigns of his homage: And up I God this morning, thus early, to get up to the top of this famous Tree, that is all fruit and no leaves, to and vance this Crest of my Masters occupation. Up then, Heaven and Saint Lycia bless me, that I be not blown into the Thames as I climb, with this furious Tempest; Slight, I think the Devil be abroad, in likeness of a storm, to rob me of my Horns: Hark how he roars. Lord! what a coil the Thames keeps! she bears some unjust burden I believe, that she kicks and curvets thus to cast it: Heaven bless all honest passengers, that are upon her back now, for the Bit is out of her mouth I see, and she will run away with them. So, so, I think I have made it look the right way, it runs against Londonbridge (as it were) even full butt. And now, let me discover from this lofty prospect, what pranks the rude Thames plays in her desperate lunacy. Oh me, here's a Boat has been cast away hard by. Alas, alas, See one of her passengers, labouring for his life, to land at this Would ven here; pray heaven he may recover it: His next land is eve ̄ joust under me; hold out yet a little: whatsoever thou art, pray, and take a good heart to thee. 'Tis a man, take a men heart to thee; yet a little further, get up a thy legs man: now, 'tis snallowe enough. So, so, so! Alas, he's down again; hold thy wind Father: 'tis a man in a Nightcap. So! now he's God up again: now he's passed the worst: yet thanks be to heaven; he comes towards me pretty and strongly. Look up Father, are you acquainted with this Mark? Poor man how weak he is! the weak water ha washed away his strength. Alas good father, be not so desperate; Rise man: if you will, I'll come presently and led you home. What young Planet reigns now troe, that old men are so foolish? What desperate young Swaggerer would have been a broad such a weather as this, upon the water? Ay me, see a neither remnant of this unfortunate shipwreck! or some other. A woe man! i'faith, a woman, though it be almost at S. Kath'rins, I dis cerne it to be a woman for all her body is above the water, & her clothes swim about her most handsomely. Oh they bear her up most bravely! has not a woman reason to love the taking up of her clothes the better while she lives, for this? Alas, how busy the rude Thames is about her? A pox a'that wave. It will drown her, i'faith, 'twill drown her. Cry God mercy, she has escaped it! I thank heaven she has escaped it. Oh, how she swims Like a Mermaid! some vigilant body look out, and save her. That's well said, joust where the Priest fell in, there's one sets down a Ladder, and goes to take her up: Gods blessing a thy heart boy, now take her up in thy arms and to bed with her. She's up, she's up! She's a beautiful woman I warrant her, the Billows durst not devour her. See, see, see! I hold my life, there's some other a taking up at Wapping, now! Look, what a sort of people cluster about the Gallows there! in good troth it is so. Oh me! a fine young Gentleman! What? and taken up at the Gallows? Heaven grant he be not one day taken down there: A, my life it is ominous. Well, he is delivered for the time, I see the people have all left him; yet will I keep my prospect a while, to see if any more have been shipwracked. Enter Quick, bareheade.