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Full speech
Why what is dalliance says my servant then, How say you by that, well do you keep it from us, as much as you can, weel desire it neverless I can tell you, Trust us good servants by our selves a while. I'll lay my life 'tis that my mother uses when she and oh the, Do begin to talk and that she says to me maid, Get you hence fallen to your needle: what a maid and Idle. then do not name it for I fear 'tis nought. For esterday I hard Menippus as he was talking, With my mother's maid and I stood harkening at the cham ber door, Said that, with that word a maid was God with child. I mean with that the word seems to express. Happy Elimine, o that I might too. My fortune now sweet Irus. Say, S y sweet Irus what my fortune is, Thou turnest from me, as when thou didst admire. The hap e fortune of Elimine. Blessed be thy ppes sweet Irus, and that light, That guides thy bosom with such deep before sighed, Sleep shall not make a closet for these eyes, All this succeeding night for hast to rise. we that are sisters Irus by our vow, Will be of one self blood and thankful mind, To adore so clear a sighed in one so blind. Not for a woer only my Jaquine, But a quick speeder girl for this is he, That all my tune runs upon I tell thee, No my fine wench this and my self is well. And let him not fit down Like the ox and the ass, But give God thanks for we are worthy of it though we faite. Pardon me sir for if I see a man, I shall so blush still that I warrant you, I could make white wine claret with my looks, From whom if no from old men should I fly I would have my love ne there old nor young But in the middle Just between them both. Even thus did rsu say that he should say, Then by your leave sir I will fit with you, And what was that I pray sir. 'Tis very pretty is it not Jaquine. I love it sir aswell as you love me. Well sir I drink to you & pray you think You are as welcome to me as this wine, Nay gentle Leon talk no more of love If you love God or a good countenance, For I shall quite be out of countenance then, O but he hath a great nose. Leon I love and since 'tis forth farewell. Impart it to my Parents gentle Leon, And till we meet again at home farewell. And passed a Lord what is that passed I pray, And why so I pray. And yet he is not known to have much land. I but my husband is able to yours, And so will I by Gods grace if I live. Nor mine I swear. and so worser that mine which I Like but little, Now if my husband be not all alone, He is from home and hath left me alone, So I must learn to lie, as children go, All alone, all alone, which lesson now. I am able to bear a child is worse to me then when I was a child The moral this strength without a health a disadvantage is. Mistress what will you say if I can tell you where my master is, Where Druso I pray thee. Out on her strumpet does she brag so much, Of her great Count, and glad to take my husband Hence comes her head tires and her faith gowns, Her train born up and a man bore before her, Was this my fortune that should be so good, I faith you beggar you, you old false knave, You holy v e you prophetic ass, Know you no better what shall come to pass, I'll be revenged I faith, I faith I'll be revenged. Now madam Countess do you make account. To take up husbands by your countishippe. Have you the broad seal for I , are you so hie, and stoop, To one so low as is my husband, Hence come your headtyres and your costly gowns, Your train born up and a man bore before you, Now sye on pride when woman go thous naked. I ever thoug that pride would have a fallen But little thought it would have such a fallen. There you lay last, forsooth there you lay last. I know I am deceived for thou deceiuedst me, Thou mightest aswell have pict my purse I tell thee, O would my mother say, when you have a husband. Keep to him only but now one may see, How horrible a thing it is to change, Because it anger's one so ho bly, You must have Ushers to make way be e you, Well mad short heals I'll be even withyou, See where the mad brain Count her husband comes Why no my Lord. Is this your riding gown my Lord. Why, my Lord I mean not to trouble you, Why you may changed see my Lord. My Lord I am sorry for your heaviness. My Lord 'tis enough to make and ass wise to bear tre S . Love you my Lord it is strange you will ask it. Nor you shall not be the last I with refuse. Nor the foulest you hau loud. Nor the unfittest to hate. Why so my Lord. Do you delight in my fallen so much. My Lord I'll bestow and old Jerkin on you, I do not think so. A pretty fiction. I hope your Lordship will not do me that wrong. Why my Lord what will you do there. Twenty to one he will, well my Lord if you come you come. Pity gracious Lord. And I my Lord humbly entreat your grace. That where my husband Leon is deceased, And left me much in debt, his creditors Having seized all I have into their hands, And turned me with this hapless burden here, Into the streets your highness will descend, To my relief by some convenient order. So thinks the world my husband was with you. O holy Irus blessed be thy tongue, That Like and orator hath told our Fortune's. 'Tis not the face and colour I regard, But fresh and lovely youth allures my choice. And thee most beauteous Bion I affect. One may see by them it is not meet choice men should have offices, How know you Irus we are beautiful and cannot see. What shall I do Iaquine. I will begone.
Plot summary
Plot — The Blind Beggar of Alexandria (Irus)
Before the start of the action, Queen Aegiale proposed an adulterous liaison with Cleanthes, but was rebuffed. She then engineered his unjust banishment, but now wants to find him to renew her advances. To that end, she consults the blind beggar and fortune-teller Irus. who recommends that she publish his image throughout Egypt and offer a reward for his apprehension. What she doesn't know is that Irus is himself Cleanthes in disguise. He is maintaining a series of separate identities, passing the time by simultaneously wooing Elimine and Psamathis, while awaiting the opportunity to return and claim the Egyptian crown. The girls also consult lrus about their love-lives , and he makes predictions designed to facilitate his maJ:"riage to them both: Elirnine marries honouJ:" in the person of'Count Hermes', Psamathis marries money in the person of 'Leon', a usurer. and their friend Martia marries status in the person of the Burgomaster of Alexandria, who is really lrus ' clownish brother. lrus then uses his different personas to cuckold himself. As Leon, he seizes a nobleman's property for defaulting on a loan, even though the debt has been repaid, and produces both Hermes and lrus as witnesses in support of his version of events. Egypt is without a male heir after an enchantress transformed King Ptolemy's son into a mandrake. Now he plans to marry his daughter against her will to Prince Doricles, thereby fulfilling a prophecy that such a marriage will enable Egypt to conquer the four neighbouring kingdoms. To forestall such an eventuality, the four respective kings take advantage of the absence of Egypt's greatest general, Cleanthes, and mount an invasion. In his persona as Count Hermes, Irus murders Doricles and then, as Leon, reports Hermes' death; to defraud his clients, he then has his brother report that Leon has committed suicide. The invading kings give battle, and Cleanthes is sought when things go badly. Ptolemy is killed in battle, but Cleanthes leads the Egyptians to victory and is elected king. He accepts the defeated kings' surrender and submission, but refuses to take their crowns; he further arranges for his 'widows' to marry two of them, and promises the others Egyptian brides too.