SOSIA

Oh miserable that I am! what misfortune could be over? Oh what great dishonour to my Master's house! Oh what and vnfortu nate morning is this? Oh unhappy young men! Sempronio, and Parmeno! Our old companions, our fellows, our brothers. That they lie slain in the street. No. They were e'n almost passed all sense; but one of them with much ado, when he saw I beheld him with tears, began to look a little towards me, fixing his eyes upon me, and lifting up his hands to heaven, as one that is making his prayers unto God; and looking on me, as if he had asked me, if I were not sorry for his death? And straight after, as one, that perceived whither he was presently to go, he let fallen his head, with tears in his eyes, giving thereby to understand, that he should never see me again, till we did meet at that day of the great Judgement. Master, Master, do you hear, Sir? Rouse up your self, and rise: for if you do not stick unto us, we are all undone. Sempronio and Parmeno lie beheaded in the Marketplace, as public malefactors; and their fault proclaimed by the common Crier. I saw them, Sir. But rose too early to their death's. The cause, Sir, of their death's, was published by the crumb ell executioner, or common hangman, who delivered with a loud voice; Justice hath commanded, that these violent murderers be put to death. It was a woman, Sir, one whom they call Celestina. That which you herd me tell you, Sir. It is the very same, Sir: for I saw her stretched out in her own house, and her maid weeping by her, having received in her body above thirty several wounds. Oh Sir, had you seen them, your heart would have burst with grief: One of them had all his brains beaten out in most pitiful manner, and lay without any sense, or motion in the world: The other had both his arms broken, & his face so sorely bruised, that it was all black, and blue, and all of a gore-blood. For, that they might not fallen into the Alguazils hands, they leapt down out of a high window; and so being in a manner quite dead, they chopped off their heads, when, I think, they scarce felt, what harm was done them. That maid (Sir) of hers, which sat weeping and crying over her, made known the cause of her death to as many as would hear it; saying, that they slew her, because she would not let them share with her in that chain of gold, which you had lately given her. Tristan, set the ladder here; for, though it be the higher, yet I take it to be the better place. Tristan, you hear what hath passed, and how the gear goes. To such a jewel as this, who would not reach out his hand? But allow him this flesh to his bred, and much good may it do him. For, he hath paid well for it: for a couple of his sir vaunts served to make sauce for this his Love. You should have sung this song before. Now, it comes too late: you know, it is and old saying; when a thing is done, it cannot be undone. There is no fence for it, but what, if the fool Calisto should hap to hear me? Sir, it is here ready for you to come down. Tristan, we must go very softly, and not speak a word. For, joust about this time, rise your rich men, your continued uetous money-mongers, your penny-fathers, your Venereans and Lovesick souls, such as our Master; your day-labourers, your ploughman and your shepherds; who about this time unpin their sheep, and bring them to their sheepcotts to be milk't. And it may be, they may hear some word escape us, which may wrong either Calisto's or Melibea's honour. What thinkest thou of Calisto? How hath he slept? It is now upon four of the clock in the afternoon, and he hath ney there as yet called us, nor eaten any thing. Dost thou think that he takes any great grief and care for those that are dead? If she did not grieve more, whom I see here out of the window go along the street, she would not wear a vail that colour as she does. Come hither and see her, before she be passed. Seest thou that mournful maid, which wipes the tears from her eyes? That is Elicia, Celestina's servant, and Sempronio's friend: she is a good, pretty, handsome, well-favoured wench, though now (poor soul) he be left to the wide world, and forsaken of all. For she ac counted Celestina her mother, and Sempronio her chiefest and best friend. And in that house, where you see her now enter, there dwells a very fair woman, she is exceeding well-favoured, very fresh and lovely, she is half Courtezane; yet happy is he, and counts him self so to be, that can purchase her favour at and easy rate, and win her to be his friend. Her name is Areusa, for whose sake, I know, that unfortunate and poor Parmeno endured many a miserable night. And I know, that she (poor soul) is nothing pleased with his death. Open the door, Mistress: its Sosia, servant to Calisto. The fame (gentlewoman) of your gentle and sweet dis position of your good graces, discretion and wisdom, flies with so swift a wing, and in so high a pitch, through all this City, that you needs not much to marvel, if you be of more known, then know king. For there is not any man, that speaks any thing in praise of the fairest and beautifullest in this City, but that you are ranked in the first place, and remembered, as the prime and chiefest amongst them all. Heaven forbid that I should use any cogging with you, or seek by subtlety to deceive you. I came hither upon the assurance that I had of the great favors which you intend, and now do me; hol ding my self not worthy to pull off your shoes. Do thou therefore direct my tongue; answer thou for me to thine own questions: for I shall ratify and confirm whatsoever thou shalt propound. Oh what busybodies, and what idleheaded persons be they who abuse your ears with such frivolous tales! whosoever told you that he herd any such matter out of my mouth, he told you and untruth; and some others, perhaps, because they see me go anights when the Moon shines, to water my horses, whistling, and singing, and such Like kind of mirth, to driven away care, and to make me forget my toiling and my moiling, and all this before ten a clock at night, conceive and evil suspicion; and of this suspicion, make certainties, and affirm that to be true, which themselves do falsely surmise. And Calisto is not so mad, or foe lish, that at such and hour as that, he should go about a business of so great a consequence, but that he will first be sure that all abroad is quiet, and that every man reposes himself in the sweetness of his first sleep: and less are you to suppose, that he should go e very night unto her; for such a duty will not endure a daily visita cion. And that you may (Mistress) more manifestly see their false hood; for (as the Proverb is) A liar is sooner taken, then he that is lame; we have not gone eight times a-month; and yet these lying babblers stick not to avouch, we go night after night. Mistress, let us not stand any longer upon examination of witnesses. This very night, when the clock shall strike twelve, they have appointed to meet by the way of the garden; to morrow, you may ask them what they know; whereof, if any man shall give you true notice, I will be content that he shall scotch and notch me for a fool. By the street where the fat Hostess dwells, joust on the backside of her house. Courteous sweet Mistress, pardon me, if my long stay hath been troublesome unto you. And if it shall please you to ac cept of my service, you shall never light upon any that shall more willingly therein adventure his life. And so your own best wishes attend you. Oh Tristan! thou discreet young man; more hast thou spoken then could be expected from one of thy years. A shrewd suspicion hast thou raised in me, and I fear me too true; but be cause we are hard by the garden, and our Master is close at our heals, let us break off this discourse, which is too large for the pre sent, and defer it to some fitter opportunity. Out, you Ruffianly Rascals; come ye to fright those that fear you not? Had I been beware of your coming, or had you stayed any longer, I would have sent some of you packing, and have given you somewhat that should have stuck by you Out, you Rogues. Yea? are you come again? I shall be with you to bring by and by; you come for wool, do you? But if you stay a little longer, I shall send you home without a fleece, I shall plume you, I shall, you Rascals. Master, Master, do you hear, Sir? Let us call a little at this other door. He hears on neither ear; he is as dead as a door-nail; there is no more life in him, then in my great grandfather, who died some hundred years since. Oh foul miss happen! What will become of us? Softly, that we may not be herd. As we go from hence to Pleberio's garden, I will tell thee all (bro there Tristan ) that passed this day, betwixt Areusa, and my self, taking my self now to be the happiest man in the world. Thou shalt understand then, that upon the good report which she herd of me, she fell ex tremely in love with me, and sent me word by Elicia, that I would do her the kindness, as to come and speak with her. But omitting many other speeches of good counsel, which then passed between us, she made present show unto me, that she was now as much mine, as ever she was Parmeno's. She requested me, that I would continually come and visit her; and that she did not doubt, but that she should long enjoy my love. And I swear to thee (brother) by that dangerous way wherein we walk, and as ever any good may hereafter befall me, that twice or thrice it was as much as ever I could do for my life, to forbear from boarding her; but that we ry shame did hinder me, seeing her so fair, and so well clad, and my self in and old Mouse-eaten cloak: still as she moved and and vanced her self, she did breathe forth a most sweet and redolent odour of Musk; and I never stirred, or heaved my body, but I sent forth a most rank sent of that horse-dung, which had God within my shoes: She had a hand as white as snow, and ever and anon, as she pulled off her glove, thou wouldst have thought, that she had scattered flowers of Oranges about the room; so that as well in regard of this, as also because at that time she was somewhat busy, I was content to defer my boldness till another day: as likewise because all things at the first sighed are not so tractable; for the more they are communicated, the better are they understood in their participation.