CENTURIO

Command me to kill ten men, to do you service, rather then to put me to walk a League on foot for you. The fool is mad, I think. But do you hear, Dame? if I be nettled, I shall sting some body; if my choler be moved, I shall draw tears from some; I shall make some body put finger in the eye; I shall, i'faith. But for once, I will go my ways and say nothing; I will suffer all this at your hands, lest some body may come in, or the neighbours chance to hear us. Boy, run and see: Who dares presume to enter my house, and not first have the manners to knock at the door? Come, come back again, Sirrah; I now see who it is. Do not cover your face (Mistress) with your mantle, you cannot hide your self from me. For, when I saw Elicia come in before you, I knew she could not bring with her any bade company, nor any news that could offend me, but rather that should please and delight me. Hold her, as you love me, hold her. Do not let her go. Command me, Mistress, in such things as I know: exercise me in my Art, and employ me in such offices as appear taine to my profession: as, to fight for you with three men at once; or say they should be more, for your sake, I would not refuse them, but challenge them the field. Command me to kill this or that man; to cut off a leg or and arm; to slash any woman over the face, that shall stand in competition with thee, and deface her beauty; such trifles as these, shall be no sooner said, then done. But do not (I prithee) entreat me to walk afoot; nor to give thee any money; for thou knowest! have it not. Gold and Silver will not tarry with me; they are flinchers, they will not abide with me. I may cut three Capers, and yet not shake one poor blarke out of my bree ches: no man gives that which he has not; you can have no more of a Cat, then his skin. Heart and good will, but not a rag of money. I live here in a house as you see, wherein you may throw a bowl and meet with never a rub; all the moveables that I have, are not worth a button; my implements are such as you see here before me; and old Jar, with a broken brim; a rusty Spit with out a point; the bed wherein I lie, is bound about with hoops of Bucklers, which I broke in fight; my featherbed, a bundle of bro ken pikes; my sheets, shirts of torn mail; for my pillow, I have a pouch filled with pebble-stones. And should I bestow a collation on you, I have nothing in the world that I can pawn, save this poor ragged and threadbare cloak, which I have on my back. Offer my self, Elicia? I swear unto thee, by the Chris cross Row, by the whole Alphabet, and sillabication of the letters, that my arm trembles, to think what I would execute for her sake; for it is, and ever shall be my continual meditation, to study how I may please her, but it is my unhappiness, that it never hits right. The last night I was adream'd, that in her quarrel I challenged four men into the field, all of them well known unto her, if I should name them; and me thought I slew one of them; and for the rest which fled, he that scaped best, left his left arm at my foot. Much better should I have bestirred my self, had it been day, and that I had been awake, if the proudest of them should have once presumed but to have touched her shoo. Oh! how I turn Renegado? How feign would I re new the condition? But tell me; has he made even with the world? Well, seeing you will have it so, let us send him to dine in hell, without company. No more, I apprehend your meaning; I know the whole course of his love; how he carries himself in it; how such and such suffered in the business: as also where you two are galled; I know whither he goes, at what hour, and with whom. But tell me, how many accompany him? This is too small a prey, too poor a pittance; my sword will have but a short supper; it would fare far better at some other time, then that which now you have concluded on. If my sword should but tell you the deeds it hath done, it would want time to utter them. What does impeople Churchyards but it? Who makes Surgeons rich but it? Who sets Armourers awork but it? Who hues, and vnriuiteth the finest mail but it? Who drives before him, and shivers in pieces the bucklers of Barcelona, but it? Who slices the helmets of Colatay worser, but it? Who shreds the Casks of Almazen, as short as if they were made of Pumpions, but it? These twenty years hath it found me food; by means of it am I feared of men, and beloved of women, only your self excepted; for it, the name of Centurio was given to my Grandfather; for it, my father likewise was called Centurio, and so am I. No, he was made by it Champion to and hundred woe men. I long more for this night, wherein I may give you con tent, then you long to be revenged. And that every thing may be done to your good liking; make your own choice, what death you will have him die. For I can show you a Beadroll (if you will see it) wherein there are set down some seven hundred and seventy see uerall sorts of death's; which when you have seen, you may choose that which likes you best. The affronts and disgraces which are now in request, and wherein I am most conversant, are banging a man over the shoul dears with a sword, having it's scabbard on; dry-beatings, without drawing of blood; thumping him on the breast, or making his head ring noon with the po ̄ mell of my sword, or by falsifying of a thrust or blow, to give him his payment where he least looks for it. Oh the I use Like Siues, pricking them full of holes with my poigniard; some I cut in a large size, giving them a fearful stocada, or mortal wound: and now and then I use my cudgel, or bastonado, that my sword may keep holiday, and rest it self from it's labour. I swear by the whole generation of Turk and Terma gaunt, that it is as possible for this right arm of mine to bastona do a man, and not kill him, as it is for the Sun to stand still in the Firmament, and never move. Well, adieu. Go your ways, Like a couple of head strong and pertinacious whores as you be. Now will I bethink my self, how I may excuse my self of my promise; and in such sort too, that they may be persuaded, that I used all possible diligence for to execute their desire, and that it was not of negligence, for the freeing of my self from danger. I will feign my self sick: But what will that profit me? for then they will be at me again when I am well. Again, if I shall tell them that I have been there, and that I forced them to fly, they will ask me who they were? how many in number, and in what place I buckled with them? and what apparel they wore? and by what marks I knew them to be such and such? and the devil awhit shall I be able to tell them: And then all the fat is in the fire. What counsel then shall I take, that may comply with mine own safety, and their desire? I will send for lame Thraso, and his companions, and tell them, that because this night I shall be otherwise employed, they would go and make a clattering with their Swords and Bucklers in manner of a fray, for to fear, and affright certain young men, whom they shall find in such a place, which service was faithfully recommended unto me to execute. This I know is a sure course, and no other hurt can follow thereup on, save to make them fly, and so get them home to bed. Oh Heavens! he is going to Pluto I warrant you already; I will give him his passport, I warrant you, unless he betake him to his heals, and run away from me. Dearest in my affection, it glads me to the heart, that I have this occasion offered unto me (though it be but in a trifle) and a matter scarce worth thanks; that you may know by this, how far I would (if occasion served) in force my self for your sake.