BEAVIS

Is sir Philip Luckless in the house still sir? Are you mad, or are you drunk sir? Nay then sir, though your Master be allowed to meam sure his manners, by his pleasure, here, on his own yard, I'll be bold to pull you out on't by the ears, and Beatrice you into better fashion. Indeed? What as I did now? by the ears? Are you come to your self enough yet? or shall I help you further sir? A very strange disease! How might you get it? Only to speak with him from the Gentlewoman was here eene now. I shall be your servant. And you my boldness. What a Trimtram trick is this? the Master and the Man both brain-cras'd; as the one used me, so did the other my Mistress. But I have brought this into a kind of civil sense again. Do we look Like Bawds? There is some strange ground for this mistaking. I am sure she has ever been reputed a virtuous Gentlewoman; and has now the government, and bringing up of a Virgin, of a most hope full goodness. And I think, I know my self; and dare Beatrice any Man into a better construction of my quality. Between four, and five in the Palace: but how shall I know him? I never saw him. I thank you sir. Mistress, theres a Gentleman, one Master Tridewell, that says he is sir Phillips Kinsman, will by all means speak with him. Mistress. He stays below, and wild me to come up first, to to make his passage clear and secure. Rather fear I think: for he asked me if the house were not much haunted with Roarers or Swaggerers, Poni ards and pistols: whither there were not and Assurer for it as upon the Exchange, as I his life were upon hazard? when there a Man might come on without lose of credit, and off without needs of a Surgeon? Much odd talk he delivers; that in my conceit betrays, at once, both a asciuious and cowardly disposition; and upon my understanding, Can not be so generous, or nobly spirited, as he is received. Do what you will. Sir, will you speak to my Mistress? The man is transported sure! Only hers upon my sincerity sir. Sir, for that my Mistress craves your Pardon. 'Tis not her neglect, that works upon your patience; But the necessity to rid a troublesome Lord or two out of the house, be over the Party can appear to you. But please you to ob sucre your self in this dark Cl set, while I convey them hence, and then, instantly, the top Gallant of pleasure shall crown your Maine-mast, she says. 'Tis no matter for any thing they did here sir, I war rant you. Inquickly pray si . You cannot be safe else sir. Anvil? Pray fit let me try in blade on him too. What shall I say or do? hanged directly. By my Missed is sir, and Gentlemen of her ac quaintance, whose names I know not. Pray let me see a little of this first. have you put herto't sir. She has done a cure on him. He spoke sense now. Alas Sir, that a fair hand should make such blots I what hand I it? Secretar, Roman, Court, or Text? I have not seen the Like: it's all dominical letters, read Ink. His face is Like and Almanac of all Holy ayes. Here's one might serve for a whole History. The life and deatho' Raw head, and Bloody bones. How Sir? That's about hand by your leave. Nor any body else I think. I'll throw him into the Dock rather then he shall suc ceede Jack O'Dandy. Come sir, all shall be well again. Fear not. Good sir bear your injury with a Men patience. Sir Paul will not be long absent. And till he comes, my Mistress entreats you (for your own good) to take his partly upon you, in giving entertainment to diverse of his friends, who are invi ted hither to a Feast to night. Much better meat sir. But here's the strangeness of it; and the only occasi n that r quires you aid in the entertain meant. This great Supper or ast (as I may properly call it) was appointed by Sir Poule himself, the money to buy the Provi sion worser live ed by his own hand, to his own Servant; the Guests of h S own election; vet he, out of the multiplicity of cross ef fairs, that have happened this day, hath quite forgotten that there was any such preparation, or any such m eating inten ed, as ap pears evidently by his absence. But y Mistress has God all the meat privately made ready at the next house, on purpose that h sh u worser see nothing— Only sal to them, bid them welcome; Tell'hem Sir Paul was hastily called forth on his Majesties affaites; Entreat their patience till his return, which you know will be every sudden although you know not where he is; and so forth, as occasion serves. What have you said Sir? I said but the meaning of what you should say, and put it in your own words. I am beholden to you. Sir, This is one of the Guests? I bese changed you mistake not so his purpose sir: which is fair welcome, and good cheer to you all. Therefore Gen tlemen and ladies, will it please you to entertain one another a while. [Enter Clark with Sack and I'obacco.] Look ye. Here's good Sack, and good I'obacco. And before the rest of the Guests b continued e, Sir Paul will be here himself. His protected friends sir. I sir. There is a fraternity of them. The brother's of the Protect. There's not a man of them, but has all Mayors, Sheriffs, Bailiffs, Sergeants at Mace, Marshals men, Consta bles, and other his Majesties Officers, in a Combcase in his poc ket. They are a Generation that never eat but in Parliament time, and now every table is full of them. Sir, here is a Justice, and for the same purpose too for ought we know, that shall not resuse to do it, and in sir Pauls Gown and Cap too. Sir, you cannot do a more acceptable office for your friend, then to execute his place in his absence. Your anthori ty makes you capable of it; and I do the rather persuade it, be cause the Gentlemen whom you wisely suspect for lose per son , may see some example of Justice; which may prevent some present evil in their stay here. Right sir. I have bidden all the Guests: and expect them immediately.