DIANA

A rare man: Husband, truly I Like his person As well as his rare skill. Oh jealousy! have you been there Sir, have you seen those trees? Brought you none of that fruit home with you sir? Y'd have't for you, In hope you might outlive your jealousy. Would I had given him half my love, to settle The tother half free from encumbrances Upon my husband. That I Like well in him too, he will not boast of kissing A woman too near home. What with their heals upward? Bless us! how escape they breaking of their necks? And yet just under us! Where is hell then? if they whose feet are towards us, At the lower partly of the world have heaven too Beyond their heads, where's hell? Sure Hell's above ground then in jealous husbands J so indeed, Though heals go upward, and their feet should slip, They have no necks to break. There's precious bribing then. You will hold your peace. But pray Sir, is't by nature or by art, That wives oversway their husbands there? Then art's above nature, as they are under us. Why then the women Do get the men with child and put the poor fools To grievous pain I warrant you in bearing. That is a trim Upside-down Antipodian trick indeed. Are not their Swans all black, and Ravens white? That's very strange. Then there are cuckolds too it seems, As well as here. By hearsay Sir. I am not wise enough To speak it on my knowledge yet. What fine sport would that be here now! have they Poets. I never saw a play. In sooth a marvelous neat and costly one To whom shall I restore it? Is he a Lord? I always thought and herd Ith' Country, Lords were gallant Creatures. He Looks Like a thing not worth it: 'tis not his, The Doctor gave it me, and I will keep it. Beside sir I am well; and have a mind (A thankful one) to taste my Lords free bounty. I never saw a play, and would be loath To loose my longing now. J love this plain Lord better than All the brave gallant ones, that ere I dreamt on. The Prologue call you this my Lord? In truth she handles him handsomely. Yes, and such wives are worthy to be liked, For giving good example. It seems the husbands In the Antipodes bring portions, and The wives make Jointures. And wives, when they are old, and passed childbearing, Allow their youthful husbands other women. That I Like well. Why should not our old men, Love their young wives as well? Good Antipodian counsel. Alaffe, will no body beg pardon for The poor old boys? Extempore call you him? he's a dogged fellow To the three poor old things there, fie upon him. Well done son Peregrine, he's in's wits I hope. And trust me, it well done too of Extempore To let the poor old children lose. And now I look well on him he's a proper man. Do's not his Lady love him, sweet my Lord? But we have no such laws with us. No; not so much In this case, where the man and wife do lie With their inferior servants; But in the other, Where the old Citizen would arrest the gallant That took his wares and would not lie with's wife, There it seems reasonable, very reasonable. What's he? Goes Law so torn, and Poetry so brave? Wares does he say? Can Aldermen want wit and money too? That's wonderful. Why speaks your Poet so demurely? O I remember, The Doctor said Poets were all Puritans In the Antipodes: But where's the Doctor? And where's your son my Joyless? The more beast she. The Lawyer speaks the Poets partly. What a poor honest Lawyer's this? Still And honest Lawyer, and though poor, no marvel What hard hearted fellow Could Beatrice so spruce a gentleman, and a captain. And honest lawyer, still how he considers The weak estate of a young Gentleman At arms — But who comes here? a woman. Is it Buff, Or Calf skin troe? she looks as she cold beat Out a whole Tavern garrison before her Of mill tasters call you they? if her husband Be and old jealous man now, and can please her Lawyer reads on papers. No better then most ancient husbands can, I warrant she makes her self good upon him. Lady does he call her? Alas poor man, he will take money yet, Rather then blows, and so far he agrees With our rich lawyers, that sometime give blows And shrewd ones for their money. Goes she to fight now? What's here, what's here? A Courtier, or some gallant practising The beggars trade, who teaches him I think. In what a phrase the ragged Orator Displays himself. And how feelingly He begs; then as the beggars are the best Courtiers, it seems the Courtiers are best beggars In the Antipodes ; how contrary in all Are they to us? O politic young student. He'l take no fee (that's sure enough young man) Of beggars, I know that. I'll speak to him my self else to remit it. How must I be put in? True Antipodians still, for as with us, The Gallants follow Lawyers, and the beggars them; The Lawyer here is followed by the beggar, While the gentleman follows him. How takes the Lawyers then the beggars money? And none else by their wills? In truth most charitable, But sure that money's lost by'th way sometime. Yet sweet my Lord, whom do these beggars beg of, That they can get aforehand so for law? Who are their benefactors? Then they have Usurers in the Antipodes too? But ours are not so charitable I fear. Who be their Usurers? How finely contrary th'are still to ours. Trust me, this same Extempore, ( I know not's tother name) pleases me better For absolute Actium then all the rest. Say you so? He's busy, or Idem move him, Think not your self, nor make your self a beast, Before you are one, and when you appear so, Then thank your self; your jealousy durst not trust me, Behind you in the country, and since Ime here, I'll see and know, and follow fashion; if It be to cuckold you, I cannot help it. Why should you wish so? had you rather lose Your son then please your wife? you show your love both ways. What's he a King? 'Tis your son, My Joyless, now you're pleased. O 'tis the flinching Gentleman that broke With the kind citizens wife. J hope the Judge Will make him and example. If our young gentlemen, Were Like those of antipodes, what decay Of trade would here be, and how full the prisons? And feeling too in the Antipodes Han't they my Lord? Protest Extempore played the Judge; and I Knew him not all this while. He is a properer man methinks Now, than he was before: sure I shall love him. And I warrant, By his Judgement speech ee'n now, he loves a woman well: For e said, if you noted him, that he Would satisfy the Citizens wife himself. Methinks a gentlewoman might please him better. What's he a doing now troe? But where's your daughter in Law? You are cozened. I know not what I may be Made by your jealousy. And must not we Go to the Banquet too? And mine too? Never was such and actor as Extempore! Me thinks I am even light enough to do it. So he would catch me in his arms I cared not. He has done much my Lord, and may Hold out a little. Do you sneap me too my Lord. I had No needs to come hither to be sneap. Oh here's a stately show! look master Joyless : Your daughter in law presented Like a queen Unto your son, I warrant now he'l love her. Yes, yes, and mistress Blaze is made The mother of her maids, if she have any: Perhaps the Antipodian Court has none. See, see, with what a Majesty he receives them. See my Lord now is acting by himself. But 'tis the real knowledge of the woman (Carnal I think you mean) that carries it. Nay right or wrong, I could even wish If he were not my husbands son, the Doctor Had made my self his Recipe, to be the means Of such a Cure. Perhaps that course might cure your madness too Of jealousy, and set all right on all sides. Sure, if I could but make him such a fool, He would forgo his madness, and be brought To christian Sense again. Beside, the young men wife's as mad as he, What wise work will they make! Then I am friends again: Even now I was not When you sneapt me my Lord. I do wait Upon your Lordship. My Lord, your strength and violence prevail not. There is a Providence above my virtue, That guards me from the fury of your lust. My Lord 'tis possible, That she who leaves a husband, may be bought Out of a second friendship. Yet then she had been a loser. I have not much loved wealth, But have not loathed the sighed of it, till now, That you have soiled it with that foul opinion Of being the price of virtue. Though the Metal Be pure, and innocent in it self; such use Of it is odious, indeed damnable, Both to the seller, and the purchaser: Pity it should be so abused. It bears A stamp upon't, which but to clip is treason. 'Tis ill used there, where Law the life controls; Worse, where 'tis made a salary for souls. My Lord, you may Gloze over and gild the vice, which you call pleasure, With God Like attributes; when it is, at best A sensuality, so far below Dishonourable, that it is mere beastly; Which reason ought to abhor; and I detest it, More than your former hated offers. Hold, stay there. Now should I utter volumes of persuasions; Lay the whole world of Riches, pleasures, honours, Before me in full grant, that one, last word Husband, and from your own mouth spoke, confutes And vilifies even all. The very name Of husband, rightly weighed, and well remembered, Without more Law or discipline, is enough To govern womankind in endue obedience; Master all lose affections, and remove Those Idols, which too much, too many love; And you have set before me, to beguile Me of the faith I owe him. But, remember You grant I have a husband; urge no more, I seek his love. 'Tis fit he loves no whore. I pray forbear my Lord: I'm passed a child, and will be made no wanton. That is already answered. He's my husband. You are old too my Lord. Are you a Lord? Dare you boast honour, and be so ignoble? Did not you warrant me upon that pawn (Which can take up no money) your blank honour, That you would cure his jealousy, which affects him Like a sharp soar, if I to ripen it Would set that counterfeit face of scorn upon him, Only in show of disobedience, which You won me to, upon your protestation, To render me unstained to his opinion, And quit me of his jealousy for ever. this you may do, and yet be still a Lord; This can I bear, and still be the same woman! I am not troubled now, your wooing oratory, Your violent hands (made stronger by your lust) Your tempting gifts, and larger promises Of honour and advancements were all frivolous; But this last way of threats, ridiculous, To a safe mind, that bears no guilty grudge: My peace dwells here, while yonder sits my judge. And in that faith isle die. Do you fallen back again? I hope I am so wise a child. That is my father's name. Oh I am happy in his sighed. Dear sir. Enter Truelocke. she kneels. Supposed father! I am too happy made to think of wrong. Mak't your own case, you are and old man, I love a gentleman, you give him rich presents, To get me a child (because you cannot) must not We look to have our bargain? Do Aldermen Love Poetry in Antipodea London. Belike he is some student. What and odd Jeering Judge is this? What Subject's there are In the Antipodes.