CALPHURNIA

Ah, though your fancies great contentment find, While thus the world your virtue does advance, Yet a preposterous terror stings my mind, And boasts me with I know not what mischance, My wavering Hope's oreballanc'd are with fears, That to my soul sinistrous signs impart, And ominous rumours so assault mine ears, That they almost make breaches in my heart. No, none of those my mind does miscontent, That vndisguisde still Like themselves remain, Unlooked for harms are hardest to prevent, There is no guard against concealde disdain, But in whom further can your trust repose, Whom danger now over all, by all attends, Where private men but only fear their foes, Oft kings have greatest cause to fear their friends, For since being trusted fittest to betray, Those unto whom ones favour force affords, May for his life the worst ambushments lay, While falsest hearts are hid with fairest words. And some report (though privately) yet plain, That Dolabella and Antonius now, By your destruction do pretend obtain, That which you keep by making all men bow. The corners of the heart are hard to know, Though of those two the world the best does deem, Yet do not trust too much th'externall show, For men may differ much from what they seem. None oft more fierce than those that look most mild, Impiety sometime appears devout, And that the world the more may be beguiled, While Vice can cloth it self with Virtues coat. Though that they have long since laid hatred down, By benefits bestowed, you might attend, There's no respect can counterpoise a crown, Ambition hath no bounds, nor greed no end. Through vindicative hate, and emulous pride, Since some your person, some your place pursue, All threatened dangers to prevent provide, Being wise in time, lest out of time you rue. Affright your foes with bans be backed about. It better is to give, than to take fear. Guards would put them from hope, you from contempt. When one fears least, oft danger lurks most near. But worst of all to fallen by enemies wrath. Stay, stay (deer Lord) retire thy steps again, And spare one day to prorogate whole years, Let not this ominous day begin thy reign, That fatal and unfortunate appears. And Astrologian through the world renownde, Thy horoscopes joust calculation lays, And does affirm as he by signs hath found, That ides of March do boast to bound thy days. Walk not this days where harms may be received, Since by no great necessity being forede, For though his judgement may be far deceived, In things that touch thy life, suspect the worst. But this all day did my repose extort, And from my breast of cares a tribute claimed, Now vilipend not that which I'll report, Though but a dream, and by a woman dreamt. I thought (alas) the thought yet wounds my breast, Then while we both as those whom Morpheus weds, Lay softly buried with a pleasant rest, I in thy bosom, thou within the beds. Then from my soul strange terrors did withdraw Expected peace by apprehended harms; For I imagined, no, no doubt I saw, And did embrace thee bloody in mine arms. Thus while my soul by sorrows was surcharge, Of which huge weight it yet some burden bears; I big with grief two elements enlarged, Th'aire with my sighs, the water with my tears. Ah, in so light account leave off to hold Those fatal warnings that the heavens have made, Which by all means most manifest unfold, What dangers huge do hing above thy head. He with the sacred garlands that divines, By entrails of the consecrated beast, Sees in the sacrifice sinistrous signs, And I entreat thee do not hence make haste. And yet you hardly there as while I hear, From dangers (far engagde) redeemed your life, But now more monstrous tokens do appear, And I suspect far worse than open strife. But nought in earth doth more inconstant prove. I only wail my life, and not his death, That now amongst immortals does repose, And shall so long as I have blood or breath, To furnish forth those elements of woes. I care not who rejoice, so I lament, That do to darkness dedicate my days, And since the light of my delight is spent, Shall have in horror all Apollo's rays. I will retire my self to wail alone, As do the trusty Turtles for their mates, And my misfortune always bent to moan, Will spurn at pleasures, as empoisond baits. No second guest shall press great Caesars bed, Warmed by the flames to which he first gave life, I think there may be greater honour had, Being Caesars widow, than another's wife. This had afforded comfort for my harms, If I (ere chancde abandoned thus to be,) Had had a little Caesar in mine arms, That represented had his sire to me. Yet does that idol which my thoughts adore, With me of late most strictly match remain, For where my arms but held him while before, Now in my heart I shall him still retain. That (though I have no precious things t'impart) Thy deity may by me b'acknowledgde oft, Still offering up my thoughts upon my heart, My sacred flame shall always mount aloft. Stay; ere thou further go defray my woes, How does my love? where is my life? Nu ̄ . Dead. Call. dead. Ah, since the lights of that great light are set, Why does not darkness spread it self over all? At least what further comfort can I get Whose pleasures had no perjod but his fallen. Oh would the gods I always might confine Aetna' in my breast, and Ocean in mine eyes, That t'entertaine so great a grief as mine, Thence might sufficient furniture arise. Yet I disdain though by distress overthrown, By such external means to seek relief: The greatest sorrows are by silence shown, While all the senses are shut up with grief: But misery does so tyrannic grow, That it of sighs and tears a tribute claims: Ah, when the cup is full it must ore-flow, And fires that burn must offer up some flames. Yet though that thy last words my last might be, Which are deep sunk within a melted heart, Of my lives death report each point to me, That I for every circumstance may smart. While brutish Brutus, and proved Cassius thus Rome's greatest Captain under trust deceived, Where was Anthonius (since a friend to us,) That he not lost himself, or Caesar saved? The Senators that were assembled there, When they beheld that great man brought t'an end, What was their partly? to what inclined their care? I fear affliction could not find a friend. Ah, had he but believed my faithful cares, That to-have his state established always strived: Then escaping this conspiracy of theirs, He honorde still, and I had happy lived. Did I not spend of supplications store, That he within his house this day would waste, As I by dreams advertised was before, Which showed that was to come, which now is passed: While the soothsayers sacrificed did find, A beast without a heart their altars stain: By that presage my soul might have divined That I without my heart would soon remain. But all those terrors could not terrors give, To that great mind whose thoughts could not be tamed; But by his fortune confident did live, As him obey the heavens had all things framed. Yet though he ended have his fatal raze, T'insult for this let not his murderers strive, For, Oh I hope to see within short space, Him dead adored, and them abhorred alive. Though now his name the multitude respects, Since murdering one that had held him so deer, While inward thoughts each outward thing reflects, Some monstrous shape to Brutus must appear. Just Nemesis must plague proved Cassius soon, And make him kill himself from Hope's estranged; Once all the wrongs by foes to Caesar done, May by themselves be on themselves revenged.