DISTINCTION

I Would the number of things in the world had been less, or the names more, I might not have been thus troubled. There is nothing spoken or written but is sub ject to so many interpretations, that without Distinction gi veth occasion of and hundred evasions. And Obligation can not be made for ten Groats, but the Attourney will have half a Crown for Parchment: no less will hold the Addi cion of the parties names, of younger and elder, Butcher and Tanner of Witam and Wolvercoate; that if the unskilful Painter was feign to write under his well resembled Pi ctures, this is a Dog, this is and Hare, I had needs to come after and tell what Dog, what Hare he means. But you sterday and Herald was with me, who as I loved to save bloodshed, entreated me to help him to pacify two incen said Citizens, who since the year 1610, when all Artificers and Tradesmen became Gentlemen, fortuned to light both upon the same Coat-armour, and now were ready to fight, who should have it most proper, if I lent him not some dif ference to put betwixt them: I asking what the Coat was, he told me a Bulls head, whereupon I advised him to call his, that was the younger, and Oxhead, and make the horns a little longer; and I hope by this they are contented. And indeed I cannot wonder that so often many things have but one name, when sometime one thing engrosseth many names, Like the Spanish Nobility, which require whole sheets for a Superscription. You may inquire for a Broker, meet with a Bawd, and fallen into the hands of and Usurer, yet all but one Citizen. You may there see a Scholl r troub led with the Rheum, a Gentleman ill at ease, a Serving man stark drunk, all sick of one disease; I would some would reduce these things to a parity, and relieve the nullity of some by the plurality of others; or some good Cyrus would adventure a jerking, by taking away from short things those Titles which are too long for them, and giving to those who are too short, and so fit them both. If Division would come once, I would speak to him my self, to make a more e quall distribution; and I wonder he stays so long; but now here he comes with the rest. If you mean the rolls you bid me, I have; if any other, I have not. My Lord, there were two Dukes of that name, one in the Province of Substance, another in the Province of Quantity. I wonder how any man had so much leisure as to look about him, and draw his description. Sure that Irrational had many Husbands, I have known her married to above Twenty my self. It's true, if you mean Substance as the Vulgar do, for wealth: But if you understand it as we do, the Province, questionless they had. Yes. And why not Sir? So it pleases you to conclude Sir; but how prove you that Sir? Profoundness either may be taken for deepness of judgement and understanding, and that they are far from, or for thick grossness, and that in them is most palpable. There was ado indeed: Old Discourse talking nothing but of Quadratures, of Circles, of Lines running nearer and nearer, but never coming together: of Hexities, Ideas, Quintessences, Sublimations, Corporal Ubi quities, infinite Quantities, Consubstantiations, Tran substantiations; things beside impossible: I wonder what he means; surely he is beside himself. No, you are Ambiguity. No, I'll be sworn. Because I can find no honesty with thy faults. I thank you good Amphoteros: but I fear you have two Purses, as he had two Chests; one full of money, the oh there of thanks. I Think that Villain Ambiguity was born to do me harm, I never was so overtaken by any as by him: No sooner had I put the Cup to my lips, but my wits shook hands with my head, and left me to be arrested by dull Sergeant Sleep, so Like a bankrupt Merchant, I was feign to lot down my Shop-windows, and I think yet had not opened them: but that which plagued me worse, up comes a Drawer, and delivering me from that prison, was Like to have me waking to another, unless I would pay for the Wine, which that Rascal had promised to bestow upon me, which I had scarce done, when looking about me, I found the Villain which had left me witless and money less, lest me also cloakelesse, till I saw where the fork-tongued Snake had cast this his party-coloured skin. Now I could be angry with my self for my simplicity: but see the villain Enter Igno ratio Elener. hath sent Ignoratio Elener the fool, his fellow, to laugh at me; this would make Demotritus melancholy. How he fell in you have herd already, and for his deli verance this it was. I by reason of this coat (which how I God I list not now to tell) being taken of Fallacy for Ambiguity recei ved of him these keys, with direction to go to his closet, together with a certain viol he delivered me which my curiosity quickly apprehending, I went and found the young Lord Intellect in one room, the Lady Truth and her daughters in others, all which I have thence delivered. A closet do you call it I will be sworn it is a spacious storehouse of all subtleties, a Burse of impostures, and Italy of poy sons, a Frankefurt of false Authors, there are infinite Iliads of Her meticall precepts, many barrels of white powder, bales of false dice, boxes of false weights, bags of counterfeit coin, golden fish hooks, iron rakes, vizards, and dark Lanthorns for thieves, masks and painting for Gentlewomen; for all he furnished them daily enough to load and Argosy, or a Spanish Catrick. Oh, I thought to tell you: the rarest receipt that ever was composed, Peredea nor Circe never made the Like. When he gave it me, I marked he said it wrought power fully, and so mistrusting the effect, tried the conclusion upon a dog I met, which no sooner had tasted a dram of it, but dragging his tail on the ground he grinned and snarled and presently ran mad, which effect I observing, thought I had now opportunity to re quite a kindness Ambiguity did me, and so tempering it in a cup of sweet wine, adventured amongst Fallacies followers, who brave lie carousing to their good Fortune's, let my cup go round amongst them, and presently they all danced Frantic, so that nothing grieved me, but that Ambiguity was not amongst them. I have gracious Lord. My gracious Lord, you have forgotten Ambiguity, shall not he be racked, I could stretch him exquisitely, I would feign be his Procrastes. With all my heart. O Sir, you may remember how you used me, I thought I should have a time to deal with you, will you untruss, come, I must unease you, as you did me. That to is no matter, you shall have it so sure as the gown is on your back. My Lords, what are they gone? it had been solly for them to stay for Demonstration. You would for a lesser matter, if fear did not hold your hands. O Sir, I see that stirring head of yours is weary of our better state: you listen to hear of some new change? Yes, if I take thee for any other than thou art. And honest man. But you say false: I say he does mistake that takes thee for and honest man, otherwise than thou art. Yes, and I think there are few faults born without thee. Why, you will not draw Sir? What, not your Sword? Well, I'll go with thee.