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Full speech
What were we best to kill him unawares, Or give him notice what we do intend? Of pity man, that never enters here, And if it should, Idem threat my craven heart, To stab it home, for harbouring such a thought, I see no reason Why I should relent: It is a charitable virtuous deed, To end this princkocke from this sinful world. My conscience is not pricked with such conceit. Grace me no graces, I respect no grace, But with a grace, to give a graceless stab, To chop folks legs and arms off by the stumps, To see what shift theile make to scramble home: Pick out men's eyes, and tell them thats the sport, Of hood-man-blinde, without all sportiveness, If with a grace I can perform such pranks, My heart will give mine agents many thanks. When we have done what we have vowed to do, My heart desires to have no fellowship, With those that talk of grace or godliness: I named not God unleast 'twere with and oath, Sense the first hour that I could walk alone, (And you that make so much of conscience, By heaven thou art a damned hypocrite: For thou hast vowed to kill that sleeping boy, And all to gain two hundredth marks in gold, I know this pureness comes of pure deceit, To draw me from the murdering of the child, That you alone might have the benefit, You are too shallow, if you gull me so, Chop of my head to make a Sowsing-tub, And fill it full of tripes and chitterlinges. Thou Eunuch, Capon, dastard, fast and lose, Thou weathercock of mutability, White livered Paisant, wilt thou vow and swear, Face and make semblance with thy bagpipe oaths, Of that thou never meanest to execute? Pure cowardice for fear to crack thy neck, With the huge Caos of thy bodies weight, Hath sure begotten this true contrition, Then fast and pray, and see if thou canst win, A goodly pardon for thy heinous sin, As for the boy, this fatal instrument, Was marked by heaven to cut his line of life, And must supply the knife of Atropos, And if it do not, let this master piece, (Which nature lent the world to wonder at) Be slit in Carbonadoes for the jaws, Of some men-eating hungry Canniball : By heaven isle kill him only for this cause, For that he came of virtuous Ancestors, Leave of these bootless protestations, And use no ruth enticing arguments, For if you do, isle lop you limb by limb, And torture you for childish eloquence. Yes every pa to, and this sha prove it true. Both him, and all, that dare to rescue him. Swoons I am peppered, I had needs have salt, Or else to morrow I shall yield a stink, Worse then a heap of dirty excrements: Now by this Hilt, this gold was earned too deer: Ah, how now death, wilt thou be conqueror? Then vengeance light on them that made me so, And ther's another farewell ere I go. Then let our swords let out his guitless life. No, but my sword shall let his puddings forth. Teach me that knowledge when you will or dare.
Plot summary
Plot — Two Lamentable Tragedies
MOmicide is frustrated at finding the town so virtuous, but AWaige recommends two men as suitable agents of violence. [Filth overhears them and introduces the stories. In one plot, MRGM@SIMERY, who would like to be richer, notices how well off B&BGh is. He lures Beech to his inn and murders him there with a hammer. The other members of his household quickly discover what has happened; his man MWilli@fhs leaves his service rather than condone the crime, but nevertheless agrees to keep it a secret. Merry is concerned that BEGeh’sIBSy may know too much, and murders him too. Thinking there are thieves in Beech’s shop, a Maid gives the alarm, and the dying boy is found with the hammer still embedded in his head. Beech comes under suspicion. Merry wants to get the other body out of his inn before it starts to putrefy, and chops it up to facilitate disposal. The various parts of the body are found around London; the torso is in an identifiable sack, but when a house-to-house search is instigated, its vendor fails to recognize M@PySisister as the woman who bought it. Merry begins to feel secure, but the melancholy Williams finally reveals the secret after close questioning by a friend. Merry and his sister are arrested and hanged; Williams is allowed benefit of clergy. In the other plot, ——- —f% die, leaving him in the custody of his uncle, , who will inherit everything should the boy die. Fallerio plans murder, but when his son All@H8o will not co-operate, he hires two ruffans instead. The assassins are to escort Pertillo to university at Padua, and kill him on the way; Allenso follows in secret to see that his cousin is safe. In the event one of the ruffians proves to have a conscience, and tries unsuccessfully to buy off his colleague. Perfillo dies, and the two murderers then kill one another. The bodies are found by the Dike, and Allenso is arrested; the virtuous rufhan survives just long enough to exonerate him and name Fallerio as the guilty man. Allenso brings home the news of Pertillo’s murder, which causes his mother to drop dead. Suicidally guilt-stricken, Allenso disguises himself as his father in order to be executed in his place. He is convicted, but Fallerio follows him to court and admits the truth. Both father and son are sentenced to death. Truth insists that Homicide and Avarice will never get away with their crimes in Eliza’s realm, but they leave the stage threatening more covetousness and murder to come.