ACUTUS

Would would would! Yes, I love God and my neighbours. Prithee I hate none, but heaven hate me if I be in love with any. O! how do they then wrong my meditati on? my thoughts are with themselves at a counsel, till with noise and thou with continual talk, hast driven them to a nonplus. Partake then, and give me the belief: thinkest thou or knowest thou any of this opinion, that, that moving ma rish element, that swells and suages as it please the moon, to be in bigness equal to that solid lump that brings us up? Good: there we have a farther scope, and hold the sea, can (as a looking glass) answer with a mere smile any moving shape upon the earth. O, they are monstrous mad, merry wenches, and they are monsters Graccus, they call them Sea-maides or Mermaids singing sweetly, but none dares trust them, and are very Like our Land-wenches, devouring Serpents from the middle downward. Thou hast even given me satisfaction: but hast thou this by proof? In truth! Pigmaleon, Pigmaleon, I conjure thee appear, To work, to work, make more Marble Ingles, Nature, thou art a fool, Art is above thee: Belzebub, paint thy face, there's some will love thee. Then most rydent stars fair fallen you. Away, keep no distance, even both together, For wit, you may be Coached together. What sleek browde Saint can see this Idiotism, The shape and workmanship of omnipotency, To be so blind with drugs of beastliness, And will not bend the brow, and bite the lip, Trouble his quiet soul, with venom spleen, And fear least the all ouer-seeer, Can without vengeance, see these ignomies. Angels protect us, what have we hear? I can hold no longer, hear you sir, are not you a fool? and you and Ass? and you a knave? I, for and Ass can bear, a Fool abide, and a Knave deserve: Fools oftentimes brings wisemen to trouble, Farewell, another time isle pay you double. Exit. Stoop and look out, zounds a Gentleman cannot come by a misfortune in service or so, but eve rye fool will ride him take that— Exit. I will sir, it best you gave me good words, but isle try you farther yet, fare you well sir. The trick of the rope were excellent in him, & that isle teach him if I miss not my mark: come Gallants, we waste time, the first Tavern we arrive at, weel see the raze of and hourglasse. Sirrah drawer, for the other thats a sleep, let him so remain: for the Dog let him be bound to a post for his appearance, till I take order for his undoing. Push, isle be all observative, and yet i'faith I grieve to see this double guarded age, all side coat, all fool, fie, thou keepest the sports from the mark, away, and retunre what news is now in progress. More Ladies Terentias, I cry still, That prize a Saint before a Silken fool, She that loves true learning and pomp disdains, Treads on Tartarus, and Olympus gains. Nay quick Graccus, least our hour forestall us, isle in and deal for your disguise, tarry thou, & give mine host a share of our intent, marry charge him to keep it as secret as his Garbage. He undoes our drift and clothes the fool in sackcloth during his life. And I mine as a watchman his office. Good still, nay, then I see the devil has some power over a woman more then a man, seven! t'wll be more anon. And all I dare swear, whom isle revive again The fool has some wit though his money be gone. Gentles, keep your places, fear nothing: in the name of God what art thou? Spirit thou deludest us. How now, whispering? 'sfoot if they should give our purpose another cross point, where are we then? note, note. Graccus, how likest thou this? Gentles, most happily encountered, how good hap hath turned two labours into one, I was addressed to both, and at once have met both, sure I must entreat that you must not deny. I, I, please it your grace to hear? now he begins. Now for the cunning vizarding of them, & 'tis done. How now mine Host? Nay mine host, heeres a moat in your eye to. O fie, betray not thy self so grossly. Condemn my Stars then. Faith they are not unlike our land monsters, else why should this Maximilian Lord, for whom these shoots and noises befits thus, forsake his honours, to sing a Lullaby? These seeming Saints, alluring evils, That make earth Erebus, and mortals devils. Why i'faith I must, I can not sooth the world With velvet words, and oily flatteries, And kiss the sweaty feet of magnitude, To purchase smiles, or a dead men office, I cannot hold to see a rib of man A moiety of it self, command the whole Bafful, and bend to muliebrity Of female scandals; observe, do but observe, Here one walks overgrown in weeds of pride, The earth wants shape, to apply a simile, A body prisoned up with walls of wire, With bones of whale's, somewhat allied to fish But from the wast declining, more lose does hang, Then her wanton dangling lascivious lock Thats whirled and blown with every lustful breath. Her neck in chains, all naked lies her breast, Her body lighter then the feathered crest. Another powtes and scoules, and hangs the lip, Even as the banckrout credit of her husband, Cannot equal her with honours livery, What does she care, if for to deck her brave, He's carried from a Gatehouse to his graven. Another in a railing pulppet key, Draws through her nose the accent of her voice, And in the presence of her good man Goat, Cries fie, now fie upon these wicked men. That use such beastly and inhumane talk: When being in private, all her studies warn, To make him enter into Capricorn. Another as she goes, treads a Canary pace, Jets it so fine, and minces so demure, As mistress Bride upon her marriage day: Her heals are Cork, her body Atlas, Her Beauty bought, her soul and Atomus. Another with a spleen devoured face, Her eyes as hollow as Anatomy: Her tongue more venom then a Serpents sting, Which when it wags within her chapfallen jaws, Is noise more horrid then a cry of hounds With open mouths, pursuing of their game, Wants she but rich attire or costly diet, With her the Devil can never live in quiet. Yet these are weaker vessels, heaven does know, Lay on them ought but ease, you do them wrong: They are as weak as water, and indeed as strong, And then Like mighty ships, when pellets sink, To them lay more men, sheele never shrink. Oh muffle, muffle good Graccûs, do not taint thy sense, With sighed of these infectious animalles, Least reason in thee have the upper hand To govern sense, to see and shun the sighed: Here's new discovered sins, passed all the rest, Men strive by practice how to swear the best. A deer friend, and a proper Gentleman sir. That you would leave us. O Graecus! thou beguil'st opinion, The Gates of great men stand more wide To entertain a fool, then Cresus arms, To hug his Golden God: and faster barred Against necessity, then Dives entrance At Olympus gate. There's another Ducat, he utters his oaths apace. Sure this Villain has no soul, and for gold Heel dam his body too, he's at peace with hell, And brings his Merchandise from thence to fell. And excellent Cuckoo, he keeps his note in Winter. And what of that Sir? Save you gallants, saw you not a fellow come halting this way of late? He's a Rascal, and isle maintain him so. Theile give you the good salve any time this month, for I am sure they have salving enough for so long. But now we have spoilde our determinate dinner at my hostess of the Hobby, we shall now be known. A good states man, for common wealth of Brownists, the Rogue hates a Church Like a Counter? So: he might have toleration, What, shall's close with them? Gallants, the fortune of the day runs with you, what all at chance? how is't? how is't? So, now Graccus see, what a polluted lump, A deformed Chaos of unsteady earth Man is, being in this ill kind vnma ̄ worser, seeming something Bestial man, brutish animal: well 'tis thus decreed He shall be what he seems, that's dead. For what in him shows life, but a breathing air, Which by a free constraint it self engenders In things without life: as betwixt a pair of bellows We feel a forcible air, having of it self Force & being, no more is this breathing block, But for his use in kind: give out in some bursse or continued ̄ gre gation Among the multitude, Philantus death. Let all the customary rights of funeral, His knell or what else be solemnly observed, I'll take order for his winding sheet: And further, to furnish it with further surety, I'll have a potion, that for twenty hours, Shall quench the motion of his breath. Go, spread, let me alone to effect it. I Graccus, now thou hitst the finger right, Upon the shoulder of Ingratitude: Thou hast clapped and Actium of flat felony Now ill be tide that partial judgement, That dooms a farmers rich, adultus, to the supremacy of a Deanery. When needy, yet true grounded Discipline, Is governed with a thread bore Vycarage. Enough, enough Graccus, let silence seal up Our secret thoughts, and liberty say, Virtus sola summa gloriam, Quae format homines, veram honore. Exeunt The fool is jealous, prithee feed it. I claim that privilege sir, I think I offended you once that way. Not as a Tapster, for I but borrow this habyt. O sir, meddle not with shadows, spirit thou liest, I saw thee dead, so did many more: We know you wandering dwellers in the dark, Have power to shape you Like mortality, To beguile the simple, & deceue their souls, Thou art a Devil. Why true, true, that we know, and those swil ling bowels, Death did arrest thee, many saw thee dead, Else needles were these rites of funerals, And since that time till now, no breath was known. Fly from you: and twenty times the hourglasse, Hath turned his upside down: and twenty times The nimble current sand hath left his upper room, To lie beneath, since spark of life appeared, In all which time, my care imploide it self, To give the rights of burial: now if you live, Who so glad as I? Would, how now man? seest now any errors? Nay, this is no thing: he hath but shown A pattern in himself, what thou shalt find In others: search through the Globe of earth If there amongst twenty, two thou dost find Honester then himself, isle be buried straight, Now think what shame 'tis to be vild, And how vild to be drunk: look round, where? Nay look up, behold you Crystal palace, There sits and ubiquitary Judge, From whom arcana nullam abscondita. That see's all and at pleasure punisheth, Thou canst not escape scot free, how canst thou? Why senseless man, in that, sin will betray His father, brother, nay, him himself: fears not To commit the worst of evils: secure, if Thunder bolts should drop from heaven, dreading Nor heaven nor hell: indeed hss best state Is worse then least, prised at highest rate. Me thinks this should put him quite out of tune: now so, let him go, now to mine Host, theres he, and he, and h e, theres she, and she, isle have about with all: & critiques, honnys sweetest, mixed with Gall. Exeunt Marry thus: there are are great revels & shows prepared to beautify the nuptials of Lentulus and Tully, in which the Citizens have the least share, now would but you and some others that I shall collect, join hands with me in some quaint jest, Our show shall deserve grace, and brave the rest. Bos is grown mystical, he's too dark. O sir, I assure you your presence will be more accept table in the presence at this time, then a far richer present: May it please your majesty, this is the man. Few good ones (may it please you) he handles a comb well, a brush better, and will drink Down a Dutchman, & has good skill in pricksong. Go, and for voice sake ye shall sing Ballads in the suburbs, and if ever hereafter you chance to purchase a suit by what your friends shall leave you, or the credit of your friend, be not drunk again, & give him hard words for his labour. Exit I'll answer you mine Host: pardon great Caesar, The intent was merriment, the reason this: A true brow bends, to see good things amiss, Men turned to beasts, and such are you mine Host See you this, this represents a beast, That cannot see his shame, & such are you mine Host. I'll show you else, you are a Goat, look here! Now come you, this is your's, you know it, do you not? How old are you? are you not a Goat now? Shall I teach thee how to use a wife and keep her? In the rank of goodness link her to thy soul, Divide not individium, be her and she thee, Keep her from the Serpent, let her not Gad To every Gossips congregation, For there is blushing modesty laid out, And a free rein to sensual turpitude, Given out at length and lybidinous acts, Free chat, each giving counsel and sensure. Capream maritum facere, such art thou Goat, Be not so secure: and you my grand Cornutus, Thou Ram, thou seest thy shame a penthouse To thy eyebrows: dost not glory in it, dost? Thou'lt lie in a Trucklebed, at thy wives bed feet, And let her go a Gossiping while thou sweepest the ktchin, Look, she shall witnesses against thee. Mischief of the Devil, be man not all beast, do not lie, —both sheets do not. Thou deserudst it, thou'lt make thy self a Cucckold be it but for company sake, thou hast long ears, and thinkest them horns, thy conceits cuckolds thee, thou art jealous if thou seest thy wives — With another men palm. And fool, thy state in that sense is the best: thou art clasped with simplicity, (a great badge of honesty) for she poor fool has paund her clothes to redeem thy unthriftiness: be Jealous no more, unless thoult wear thine ears still, for all shall be well and you shall have your puppy again. That he neither knows what he says, nor thou understandest. Which I would wipe out of your memory with satisfaction of a double courtesy. This gallant humours. How shall we know thou art flesh and blood then? He holds you hard Graccus. Tush, weel have a room scantly furnished with lights that shall further it. And thou pure ass, mere ass, thy ears become thee well i'faith I, when the fool is clad in clay, It will stick soar unto thy soul for aye. Challenge him the field. Content, mine Host shall be accessary, and isle be a serviter to observe miracles. Sir, take no offence I beseech you, we gave only satisfaction for and old injury, but in the degree of ami tie your self sits in the superlative. O without ceremony: now Graccus, if we can but pawn their senses in Sack and Sugar, let me alone to pursue the sequel. Let's first secure him from eyes, and at night he shall be portered to our chamber: so, now away. Call, call, Better and better, goodness never mends so fast in the carrying: nine! What, are they ready: the Corpse is on his jour ney hitherwards. Spirit thou liest, thou deludest us. Would! nay 'sfoot, I must claw out another device: we must not partly so, Graccus prithee keep the scene till I fetch more actors to fill it fuller. Not till I return, pardon me, Exit O fie, that's bitter, pre the go comfort him. A gentleman, may it please your grace, his fault suspi cion, and most likely innocent. Please it your Majesty to command him? I, would you so feign enter? isle further it: please it your Majesty to accept what is not worth acceptance? here are a company to Gratulate these nuptials, have prepared a show, I fear not worth the sighed, if you shall deem to give them the beholding of it. Most willingly my Sovereign, isle cause their return. Save you sir, saw you not a Gentleman come this way even now, somewhat hurt in the one of his Legs? They post indeed, as their nature is, in and even way, but they are cowards, theile abide no danger, they rub at every molehill, and if they Tyre in going up a hill, they retire and come back again. O man, this hemming is the most hatefulst thing, there's not the most public punk, nor wormeaten bawd that can abide it, and honesty would run mad to hear it, but come, we wast, time, 'tis now about the mid of day, we must sow arethmatike by the hours, that let the morrows height Philantus awake again, at which time he shall be on his Hearse, and all the Guests of the Hobby invited to accompany his ghost, when being awake himself, and all shall see, if drunkenness be not mad mystery. O charadeum soboles magnum bovis increm entum! Bos art there there? The moderator concludes so, Graccus is overthrown so far as the damage of a suit, so away with him, come, our fire will out, strip us, mine Host and you we expect your compa nies, we must crave absence a while, better to furnish our pur poses: the time of the day to you. Good reason, fools make good sport. What will you? here he is, you minime that will be friend with friends, and foe with foes, and you that will defy Hercules, and outbrave Mars, and fears not the Devil, pass bladder, isle make you swell. Away with your Champion, go. I dare not. Five of one, o devil! what limb of him but a complete Villain, A tongue prophaner then Idolatry: His eye a Beacon, fixed in his place: Discovering illes, but hood winckt unto grace, Her heart a nest of vice, kept by the Devil, His good is none at all, his all, is evil, 'Sfoot Graccus we tarry too long I fear, the hour will over take us, tarry thou and invite the Guests, and I'll go see his course mounted. Content; isle prosecute it. Now to you all, be firmaments to stars, Be stars to Firmaments, and as you are Splendent, so be fixed, not wandering, nor Irregular, both keeping course together, Shine not in pride, and gorgeous attire, When clouds do fail, the pole where thou art fixed. Obey, cherish, honour, be kind enough, But let them wear no changeable stuff, Keep them, as shall become your state, Comely, and to creep ere they go. Let them partake your joys, and weep with you, Curl not the snarls that dwell upon these brows, In all things be you kind of all enough, But let them wear no changeable stuff.