NURSE

Ruftie, tufty, are you so frolic? Oh that you knew as much as I do, twould cool you. Heavy news i'faith mistress, You must be matched & married to a husband would, would, would, would, husband i'faith. A good one quotha? would, would, would, would: why Woe and I herd your father say, that he would marry you to Peter Ploddall, that Puckefist, that snudge snout, that Coal carrierly Clown. Lord, twould be as good as meam e and drink to me, to see how the fool would woo you. Cart quotha? I, heel cart you, for tell how to court you. Peace Mistress, stand aside, here comes some body. Sir, you may see that Fortune is your friend. By that conclusion you should not be with e. Sir the next way to win her love, is to linger her leisure. I measure my mistress by my lovely self, make a promise to a man, and keep it, I have but one fault, I near made pro mice in my life, but I stick to it tooth and nail: I'll pay it home i'faith. If I promise my love a kiss, I'll give him two: marry at first I will make nice, and cry fie, fie, and that will make him come again and again, I'll make him break his wind with come agains. How say you by that, mistress? heel do any thing for your sake. Why Mother? what will she not do? Out you Rogue, you arrant &c. What knowest not thy Granam? I know his to be a teatie old fool, She's never well, grunting in a corner. Mother pray ye take some pains with his, and keep his a while longer; and if she do not mend, I'll Beatrice his black and blue, i'faith I'll not fail you Minion. Come on huswife please you Granam, and be good wench, and you shall would my blessing. Why, how now Mistress; what, is it love that makes you weep, and toss and turn so a nights when you are in bed? Saint Leonard grant you fallen not love sick. Yes, ants a shame for him to use you so too. But be of good cheer Mistress: I'll go to Sophos every day I'll bring you tidings and tokens too from him (I'll war rant ye,) and if he will send you a kiss or two, I'll bring it, let me alone, I am good at a dead lift. Marry, I cannot blame you for loving of Sophos. Why, he's a man as one should picture him in wax. But Mistress, out upon, wipe your eyes. For here comes another wooer. No, but she's lustily promised: Hear you: you with long rifle by your side, do you lack a wife? Why, then you with back sword, lets see your back. Maintain her with what? Faith Mistress, his mouth runs a water for a kiss: a little would serve his turn belike. Let him kiss your hand. Mistress take heed you speak nothing that will bear Actium, for here comes Master Churms the Pet tifogger. Oh Sir, you and he that is her own are far a sunder. Master Churms, you are one can do much with her father: and if you love her as you say, persuade him to use her more kindly, and give her liberty to take her choice, for these made marriages prove not well. Sheele none she thanks you Sir. How fares she quotha? Marry she may fare how she will for you: Neither come to her, nor send to her of a whole fortnight? Now I swear by my maidenhead, if my husband should have served me so, when he came a wooing to me: I would never have looked on him with a good face as long as I had lived. But he was as kind a wretch, as ever laid lips of a woman: He would would come through windows or doors, or walls, or any thing, but he would have come to me. Marry, after we had been married a while, his kindness began to slake, for I'll tell you what he did: He made me believe, he would go to green goose fair, and I'll ee sworn he took his legs and ran clean a way: And I am afraid yowl prove eene such another kind piece to my Mistress: for she sits at home in a corner we ping for you, and I'll be sworn she's ready to die upward for you: And her father oath tother side, he yoles at her, and ioles at her: and she leads such a life for you it passes, and yoole neither come to her, nor send to her: Why, she thinks you have forgotten her. What, young Master? God bless mine eye sighed: Now by my maidenhead yare welcome home, I am sure my Mistress will be glad to see you. But what said you of Master Churms? Marry the Devil he is: trust him and hang him. Why, he cannot speak a good word on him to my old Master, and he does so ruffle before my Mistress with his barbarian eloquence, and strut before her in a pair of Po lonian legs, as if he were gentleman Usher to the great Turk, or the Devil of Dowgate: And if my Mistress would be ruled by him, Sophos might go snick up: But he has such a buttermilk face, that shoole never have him. Sir, do you know the Gentleman? Why Sir, he looks Like a read herring at a No ble men table on Easter day, and he speaks nothing but Almond butter and sugar Candy. And your heart be hers, her heart is yours, And so change is no robbery. Well, I'll give her your tokens, and tell her what ye say. I'll warrant you, I will not play with you, As Master Churms does with Sophos, I would would my ears cut from my head first. Faith a whole sackefull of news: You love Sophos and Sophos loves you; And Peter Ploddall loves you, and you love not him, And you love not Master Churmes, and he loves you, And so heers love and no love, And I love and I love not, And I cannot tell what: But of all, and of all, Master Churmes must be the man you must love. Marry I have commendations to you. From your brother Fortunatus. No: from Sophos. No from neither. Yes from both. Your brother Fortunatus, and your love, to mor row night will meet you by the forest side, There to confer about I know not what: But 'tis Like, that Sophos will make you of his privy council, before you come again. He is with Sophos every day, But in any case you must not let your Father know, For he hath sworn he will not be descried, Until he have effected your desires: For he swaggers and swears out of all cry, That he will venture all, Both fame and blood, and limb and life, But Lelia shall be Sophos wedded wife. And Master Churms must be the man must work the means, You must this night send for him: Make him believe you love him mightily, Tell him you have a secret friend dwells far away beyond the Forest. To whom if he can secretly convey you from your father, Tell him you will love him, better then ever God loved him. And when you come to the place appointed, Let them alone to discharge the knave of clubs. And that you must not fail, Here receive this ring, which Fortunatus sent you for oh ken, That this is the plot that you must prosecute, And this from Sophos as his true loves pledge. Faith mistress, he speaks Like a gentleman: Let me persuade you, Be not hard hearted: Sophos? why whats he? If he had loved you but half so well, he would would come through stone walls, but he would have come to you ere this. But what if Sophos should meet you by the for rest fidem: And in counter you with his single rapier? Alas that ever I was born! My Mistress and M r . Churms are run away together. Faith you must trust him whither you will or no, for he's gone. Master, nay pray you do not run mad: I'll tell you good news: My young Master Fortunatus is come home: and see where he comes. Sir your father did trust him but too much; But I always thought he would prove a crafty knave. Now, by cock and pie, you never spoke a truer word in your life, he's a very kind gentleman: For last time he was at our house he gave me three pence. And he sued you upon wilful murder? To beg a pardon for your dog? And so the case was yours, & the goose was his: And so it came to be a gooses case. Now by the the merriest woer in all Womanshire. Master, here comes your son again Faith you must and you must not. Master, now out upon, well aday: we are all undone!