CHURMS

Good morrow M. Gripe. Faith Sir I doubt they are bankrupts: I would you had your principal. Oh sir fear not that I'll warrant you. Marry I think twould be a good match, but the young man has had very simple bringing up. I'll warrant you sir, I'll do it artificially. Thanks good sir I'll trouble you. Now it a good jest if I could cousin the old Churl of his daughter, and get the wench for my self. Sounds I am as proper a man, as Peter Ploddall: and though his father be as good a man as mine, yet far fetched and deer bought is good for Ladies, and I am sure I have been as far as Cales to fetch that I have. I have been at Cambridge a Scholar, at Cales a Soldier, and now in the Country a Lawyer, and the next degree shall be a Connicatcher: For I'll go near to cousin old father share-penny of his daughter I'll cast about I'll warrant him; I'll go dine with him, and write him his Letter, And then I'll go seek out my kind companion Robin Good fellow, and betwixt us weel make his yield to any thing. Weel would the common law oath to hand, and the ciuilllawe oath tother: Weel toss Lelia Like a tennis ball. Thus men of reach must look to live, I cry content, and murder where I kiss, Gripe takes me for his faithful friend, Imparts to me the secrets of his heart; And Ploddall thinks I am as true a friend, To every enterprise he takes in hand, As ever breathed under the cope of heaven: But dam me if they find it so, All this makes for my avail, I'll would the wench my self, or else my wits shall fail. Not yet sir, I doubt they are scarce able to pay, You must eene forbear them a while, theyle exclaim on you else. What art a dog? Remember, why? Since when? But Sir, if you give your daughter so large a dowry, yowl have some partly of his land conveyed to her by jointure. Sir, I will do the best I can. Fellow Robin, God save you, I have been see king for you in every Alehouse, in the Town. Faith little news: but yet I am glad I have met with you. I have a matter to impart to you, wherein you may stand me in some stead, and make a good benefit to yourself: if we can deal cunningly, 'twill be worth a double fee to you, (by the Lord.) Why, then this it is. Here is Master Gripe hard by, a Client of mine, a man of mighty wealth, who has but one daughter, her Dowry is her weight in gold. Now Sir, this old penny father would marry her, to one Peter Ploddall, rich Ploddalls son and heir. Whom though his father means to leave very rich, Yet he's a very Idiot and Brown bred Clown: And one I know the wench does deadly hate, And though their friends have given their full consent, And both agreed on this unequal match. Yet I know that Lelia will never marry him: But theres another rival, in his love, one Sophos, And he's a Scholar, One whom I think fair Lelia dearly loves, But his Father hates him as he hates a toad, For he's in want, and Gripe gapes after gold, And still relies upon the old said Saw; Si nihil attuleris &c. Marry thus Sir: I am of late grown passing familiar with M. Gripe, And for Ploddall he takes me for his second self; Now Sir, I'll fit my self to the old crummy Churls hu mors, and make them believe I'll persuade Lelia to marry Peter Ploddall, and so get free access to the wench at my pleasure: Now oath other side I'll fallen in with the Scholar, and him I'll handle cunningly too; I'll tell him that Lelia has acquainted me with his love to him: And for because his Father much suspects the same, He mews his up as men do mew their hawks, And so restrains his from his Sophos sighed. I'll say, because she does repose more trust, Of secrecy in me, then in another man, In courtesy she hath requested me, To do his kindest greetings to his Love, I Sir, and by this means, I'll make a very gull of my fine Diogenes. I shall know his secrets even from the very bottom of his heart: Nay more Sir, you shall see me deal so cunningly, that he shall make me and instrument to compass his desire; When God knows I mean nothing less. Qui dissimular nescit I ere. Tuthees out of the Country, He follows the drum and the flag. He may chance to be killed with a double Canon before he come home again: But whats your devise? But how shall we prove it? Now (by the substance of my soul) 'tis and ex cellent devise. Well, lets in, I'll first try my cunning otherwise, and if all fail, weel try this conclusion. No, for if he do you may indite him for come ming of your ground. I warrant you, I'll persuade her: fear not. Mistress Lelia rest you merry, Whats the reason you and your Nurse walk here all alone? Would I were then your own, That I might keep you company. But if she please, we may be nearer. Before God, I must confess, your father is too cruel, To keep you thus sequestered from the world, To spend your prime of youth thus in obscurity, And seek to wed you to and Idiot fool That knows not how to use himself: Could my deserts but answer my desires, I swear by Solemnizing fair Phœbus silver eye, My heart would wish no higher to aspire, Then to be graced with Lelias love. By Jesus, I cannot play the dissembler, And woo my love with courting ambages, Like one whose love hangs on his smooth tongues end, But in a word, I tell the sum of my desires, I love fair Lelia. By her my passion daily are increased, And I must die, unless by Lelias love they be released. Nay, Damn me if I be: By heavens, sweet Nymph I am not. I protest I will. So Lelia shall accept thee as her friend? Who can but ruminate upon these words? Would she had said, her love: But 'tis no matter: first creep and then go, Now her friend: the next degree is Lelias love. Well, I'll persuade her father to let her have a little more li bertie. But soft: I'll none of that neither, So the Scholar may chance cousin me. Persuade him to keep her in still: And before sheele have Peter Ploddall, sheele have any bo die, and so I shall be sure that Sophos shall never come at her. Why I'll warrant you, sheele be glad to run away with me at length. Hang him, that has no shifts. I promised Sophos, to further him in his suit: But if I do, I'll be peckt to death with hens. I swore to Gripe, I would persuade Lelia, to love Peter Plod dall. But God forgive me, it the furthest end of my thought. Tut, whats and oath? every man for himself. I'll shift for one, I warrant you. Marry I think so too, For she did show no token of any dislike of your motion, did she? Why, then I warrant you: For we hold in our Law, that Idem est non apparere & non esse. With all my heart Sir. I pray you Sir patient your self: she's young. Why this is excellent, better and better still, This is beyond expectation: Why now this gear begins to work, But beshrew my heart, I was afraid that Lelia would have yielded, when ̄ I saw his father take his by the hand & call me for a witness, my heart began to quake. But to say the truth she had little reason to take a Cullian, lugloafe, milksop S ave; When she may have a Lawyer, a Gentleman, that stands upon his reputation in the Country: One whose diminutive defect of Law may compare with his little Learning. Well: I see that Churmes must be the man must carry Lelia when alls done. What fellow Robin, how goes the squares with you? Yare waxed very proud alate, you will not know your old friends. Thats strange: you were never wont to be so li berall. Faith, Lelia has een given him the doff off here, and has made his father almost stark mad. Faith all hitherto goes well, I have made the motion to his, But as yet we are grown to no conclusion: But I am in very good hope. I would thou couldst scar him out of his wits: Then should I would the wench cock sure, I doubt no body but him. And I as glad to see fair Lelia, As ever Paris was to see his deer, For whom so many Trojans blood was spilled; Nor think, I would do less then spend my dearest blood, To gain fair Lelias love, although by lose of life. Bravely resolved i'faith. And at that time I will not fail, In that or ought may make for our avail. Sophos? a hop of my thumb, a wretch, a wretch. Should Sophos meet us there accompanied with some Champion, With whom it any credit to encounter, Were he as stout as Hercules himself, Then would I buckle with them hand to hand: And bandy blows as thick as hailstones fallen, And carry Lelia away in spite of all their force. What? love will make Cowards fight: Much more a man of my resolution. Farewell fair love, until we meet again. Why so: did I not tell you she would be glad to run away with me at length? Why this falls out, een as a man would say, Thus I would have it. But now I must go cast about for some money too, Let me see: I have outlawed three or four of Gripes deb ters. And I have the bonds in mine own hands: The sum that is endue to him, is some two or three hun dreaded pounds: Well, I'll to them: if I can get but one half, I'll deliver them their bonds, and leave the other half to their own consciences; and so I shall be sure to get money to bear charges: When all fails well fare a good wit. But soft, no more of that: Here comes M r . Gripe, Faith Sir, reasonable well: I am eene walking here to take the fresh air. Oh very well Sir: I have made his very confor mable. Oh let me alone to persuade a woman: I hope you shall see his married within this week at most, I mean to my self. Well: let them laugh that win. Now Phœbus silver eye is drenched in western deep And Luna begins to show her splendantraies, And the harmless choristers of wood Do take reprose, save only Philomele: Whose heavy tunes do evermore record, With mornefullaies the losses of her love. Thus far fair love we pass in secret sort, Beyond the compass of thy father's bounds, While he on down-soft bed securely sleeps And not so much as dreams of our depart The dangers passed, now think on nought but love, I'll be thy deer, be thou my hearts delight: Thou promised love: now seal it with a kiss. You wrong me much to rob me of my love. She lately promised love to me. I know you use to look aloft. What if you had? Sounds, cosend of the wench and scoffed at too 'Tis intolerable: and shall I lose her thus? Howt mads me, that I brought not my sword and buckl with me! Where ere I go I'll leave with her my see, And rail on you with speeches vild Fellow Robin, what news? how goes the world? I would the wench were at the Devil: A plague vpont I never say my prayers, and that makes me have such ill luck. Why didst thou fray him? We are horribly haunted: our behaviour is so beastly, that we are grown loathsome, our craft gets us nought but knocks. Faith cannot tell lets eene run our Country, for heres no staying for us. Faith ir, they are grown to be captious knaves. But I'll move them with a Habeas corpus. that little news: but here's a Letter which M. Gripe desi me to deliver you. And though it stand not with my reputatio ̄ , to be a carrier of Letters, yet not know king how much it might concern you, I thought it better something to abase my self, then you should be any ways hindered. Marry as I play with to hand, play you with tother. Fallen you aboard with Peter Ploddall, Make him believe yowl work miracles, And that you have a powder will make Lelia love him. Nay what will he not believe, and take all that comes (you know my mind) And so weel make a gull of the one, and a goose of the oh there. And if we can invent any devise, to bring the scholar in disgrace with his: I do not doubt but with your help to creep between the bark and the tree, and get Lelia my self. Why? look you Sir, by the Lord I can but wonder at his Father, He knows you to be a Gentleman of good bringing up And though your wealth be not answerable to h Yet by heavens I think you are worthy to do ter then Lelia, yet I know she loves you dearly. Tut, if I get the wench I care not for that: That will come afterwards: And I'll be sure of something in the mean time. For I have outlawed a great number of his debtors, And I'll gather up what money I can amongst them, And Gripe shall never know of it neither. Tush let me alone for that: But sirrah I have brought the Scholar into a fools Paradise: Why he has made me his spokesman to M. Lelia, And Gods my Judge I never so much as name him to his. Ere I would wrong my love with one days absence; I would pass the boiling Hellespont, As once Leander did for Heroes love, Or undertake a greater task then that, Ere I would be disloyal to my Love. And if that Lelia give his free consent That both our loves may sympathise in one, My hand, my heart, my love, my life and all, Shall ever tend on Lelias fair command. If on th'aduenture all the dangers lay, That Europe or the western world affords, Were it to combat Cerberus himself, Or scale the brazen walls of Pluto's court; When as there is so fair a prize proposed, If I shrink back or leave it unperformed, Let the World canonise me for a Coward: Appoint the time and leave the rest to me. And I will stretch my wits unto the highest strain To further Sophos in his wished desires. I heel give you your answer ( I warrant you)