Early Modern Drama · Character Archetypes

PHALLAX

in 2 Promos and Cassandra — Whetstone, George

Metadata

Play2 Promos and Cassandra
AuthorWhetstone, George
Year (catalogued)1578
First performance1578
Decade1570s
GenreComedy
Play typeUnacted (?)
CompanyUnacted
Speech prefix(es)PHal. | Phal. | PHal. (Phallax.)
Words948
Characters4949
Typicality0.29 (cosine to cluster centroid)
TCP idA15045.2
BritDrama no.616
ClusterCluster 3 — Citizens, tradesfolk & neighbors

Important excerpts

No keyword-matching excerpt could be extracted (the cluster label doesn't share vocabulary with this character's speech).

Full speech

Dispatch Dowson, up with the frame quickly, So space your rooms, as the Nine worthies may, Be so instauld, as best may please the eye. This gear fadgeth now, that these fellows pear, Friends where weight you? My troubled heart with guiltynesse agreu'd, Like fire does make my ears and cheeks to glow: God Grant I escape this black day vnrepreu'd, I care not how the game go to morrow. Well, I will set a face of brass on it, And with the rest, upon the King attend: Who even anon will hear in Judgement fit, To heaven or hell some officers to send. But soft, a prize, Gripax and Rapax I see, A share of their venture belongs to Me. Nay soft Dowson, stay: Let your man at Saint Annes cross, out of hand, Ereckt a stage, that the Weights in sighed may stand. Soft awhile, let Me see, On Jesus gate, the four virtues I trow, Appointed are to stand: Well, then about your charge, I will before see, The Comfort of Music, well placed to be. With what strange shows, do they their Pageant graces Oh woudrons frays, Marry sir since they are provided thus, Out of their ways, God keep Master Pediculus. Because I know, you have all things currant, They shall stand where they shall no viewers want: How say you to the end of Duck Alley? Oh, most attendance is, where beggars are, Farewell, away. Oh, very good, No, no: about your charge. A sir, hear is short knowledge, to entertain a king, But Oh, Oh, quid non pecuniam? yea, at a days warning? The king in provision that thought to take us tardy, As if we had a year be warned, shall by his welcome see: I have yet one chare to do: but soft, hear is Rotko, I must needs deliver him a messadge before I go. Nay soft, friend Rosko, take mine in your way. Rosko with speed tell thy Mistress from Me, The King straight ways will come to the City: In whose great train there is a company, Within her house with more shall merry be, Therefore, for my sake, will her to foresee, To welcome them, that nothing wanting be, This is all I will, for want of leisure. Have you seen a daw, bebob two crows so? If that in bobs, their bargain be, In faith they share alone for me. To part this fray, it is buy time, I can tell, My Promoters else of the roast will smell. How now my friends? why what a stir is this? What? Hold, no more blows. Friend be not to crank, I am and officer, and mean to know The cause, why you brauld thus, before I go: Your bobs show, that the same, you best can tell. What faults? How now you churl, your tongue, would have a clog, Say on: Peace: Friend, for this fault, thou must die. Tush, tush, it helpeth not: if they can prove this. This presumption friend, will touch thee shrowdly: If thou escape with life, be thou soar of this, Thou shalt be terribly whipped, for this kys. Well, good fellows, lets take up this matter. Why? helps it you, to see the poor man whypt? I pray you friends, for this time let him go. Hark honest man, I warrant Thee set free? Grease them well, in their hands, and speak them fair: Tush, claw them with money: I see, for Clowns, Pans Pipe, is meeter, the ̄ Apolles Harp. They can skill of no Music, but plain Song. Straight. Cocks soul knave, stop his mouth with money. Hark you my friends. Hark once more. It shall be so. Why? Yea, but they took thy money in earnest. I humbly crave, Of your grace, for answer, respyt to have. Oh Lord God, is there no knights of the post hear? Well, then of force, I must sing Peccavi. And cry out right, to the king for mercy. Oh King, I am, in fault, I must confess, The which I will with repentance redress. I most humbly, do thank your majesty. Was ever man, set more fréer then I? First went my goods, then my Office did fly? But had the King, set me free from flattery, The next deer year, I might have starved, perdy. But Lord Promos, hath a far more fréer chance: He free from Lands, goods, and Office does dance: And shall be free from life, ere long, with a Lance. The Officers, and chief men of Julio: Vengeance liberal, themselves likewise shoe. Poor knaves, and queans, that up and down do go, These horesen kind crusts, in houses bestoe. But yet, poor cheer, they have: marry for heat, They whip them, until very blood they sweat. But see, their cost bestowed of fine Lamia, To save his feet, from harden stones, and cold way, Into a Cart, they did the quean convey. Appareled, in colours very gay: Both Hood, and Gown, of green, and yellow Say. His Guard wear Typstaues, all in blew array. Before his a noise of Basons did play. In this triumph, she rid well nigh a day. Fie, fie, the City is so purged now: As they of none, but honest men allow, So that farewell my part, of thriving there: But the best is, flatterers live every where. Set cock on hoop, Domini est terra. If thou can not where thou wouldst, live where thou may. Yes, yes Phallax, knoweth whither to go: Now, God bwy you all, bonest men of Julio As the Devils likes, the company of Friars, So flatterers loves as life, to join with liars.

Plot summary

Plot — 2 Promos and Cassandra
Alerted by the raped @assandra, King @6nihGs is coming to Gyula to investigate the activities of his deputy, Lord Promos. PHalaX has to organize the city’s dramatic welcome at short notice. The King makes his royal entry, but refuses the town’s gift of a purse. Sir WIFIES is appointed and proclaimed as the ombudsman to investigate allegations of official corruption, pending a hearing before the King. The complaints flood in, and promoters take the opportunity to extort money with the threat of arrest. At the hearing, Phallax is accused of extortion, and confesses; his goods are seized and he is forced to resign his office, but his admission saves him from other punishment. Then Cassandra discloses Promos’s treachery in raping her and murdering her brother. Promos confesses, and the King sentences him to death, but requires him to marry Cassandra first. Vice is suppressed in Gyula: Baila the courtesan is arrested and carted, and Phallax leaves town in search of easier pickings. AaTuBIG has been living in the forest. Told of recent events by John A@roynes, he returns to the town in disguise, where he witnesses Cassandra’s pleas for her new husband’s life. Promos is led to execution, but is reprieved when Andrugio reveals himself to the King. Promos and Andrugio are pardoned, and Andrugio required to marry P6lifia. Promos is restored to office, with a warning to act justly and beware his subordinates’ corruption.