FLAMINEO

My Lord. Pursue your noble wishes, I am prompt As lightning to your service, o my Lord! The fair Vittoria, my happy sister Shall give you present audience, gentlemen Let the caroach go on, and 'tis his pleasure You put out all your torches and depart. Can't be otherwise? Observed you not to night my honoured Lord Which way so ere you went she threw her eyes, I have dealt already with her chambermaid Zanche the More, and she is wondrous proud To be the agent for so high a spirit. above merit! we may now talk freely: above merit; what is't you doubt, her coyness, thats but the superficies of lust most women have; yet why should Ladies blush to hear that named, which they do not fear to handle? Oh they are politic, They know our desire is increased by the difficulty of enjoy king; where a satiety is a blunt, weary and drowsy passion, if the buttery hatch at Court stood continually open their would be nothing so passionate crowding, nor hight suit after the beverage, Hang him, a guilder that hath his brains perished with quicksilver is not more could in the liver. The great Barriers moulted not more feathers then he hath shed hairs, by the con fession of his doctor. And Irish gamester that will play himself nam ked, and then wage all downward, at ard, is not more ven terous. So unable to please a woman that Like a dutch doublet all his back is shrunk into his breeches. Shroud you within this closet, good my Lord, Some trick now must be thought on to devi e My brother in law from his fair bedfellow, I must not have your Lordship thus unwisely amorous, I my self have loved a lady and peursued her with a great deal of underage protestation, whom some 3. or 4. gallants that have enjoyed would with all their hearts have been glad to have been rid of 'Tis joust Like a summer birdcage in a garden, the birds that are without, despair to get in, and the birds that are within despair and are in a consumption for fear they shall never get out: away away my Lord, See here he comes, this fellow by his apparel Some men would judge a politician, But call his wit in question you shall find it Merely and Ass in's foot cloth, How now brother what travailing to bed to your kind wise? Strange you should lose your Count. Had been your partly To have made up that flaw. Why Sir, what's the matter? I hope you do not think Will you be and ass. Despite you Aristotle or a Cocould Contrary to your Ephemerides Which shows you under what a smiling planet You were first swaddled, Sir God boy you, I do commit you to your pitiful pillow Stuffed with horn-shavings. God refuse me Might I advise you now your only course Wear to lock up your wife. Bar her the sighed of revels. Let her not go to Church, but Like a hound In Leon atyour heals. And so you should be certain in one fortnight, Despite her chastity or innocence To be Cocoulded, which yet is in suspense: This is my counsel and I ask no see for't. Wear it ath' old fashion, let your large ears come through, it will be more easy, nay I will be bitter, bar your wife of her entertainment: women are more willingly & more glow riouslie chased, when they are least restrained of their liberty. It seems you would be a fine Capricious Mathematically jealous Coxcomb, take the height of your own horns with a Jacob's staff afore they are up. These politic enclosures for paltry mutton, makes more rebellion in the flesh then all the pro vocative electuaries Doctors have uttered sense last Jubilee. True, but they that have the yellow Iaundeise, think all objects they look on to be yellow. Jealousy is worse, her fit's present to a man, Like so many bubbles in a Basin of water, twenty several crabbed faces, many times makes his own shadow his cocould-maker. * See she comes, what reason Enter Corom . have you to be jealous of this creature? what and ignorant ass or flattering knave might he be counted, that should write sonnets to her eyes, or call her brow the snow of Ida, or Ivory of Counterfeit rinth, or compare her hair to the black birds bill, when it's liker the black birds feather. This is all: Be wise, I will make you Friends and you shall go to bed together, marry look you, it shall not be your seeking, do you stand upon that by any means, walk you a loof, I would not have you seen in't, sister my Lord attends you in the banqueting house, your husband is wondrous discontented. You needs not have carved him infaith, they say he is a capon already, I must now seemingly fallen out with you. Shall a gentleman so well descended as Camillo. —a lousy slave that within this twenty years road with the black guard in the Dukes carriage amongst spits and dripping-pans. And excellent scholar, one that hath a head filled with calves brains without any sage in them,—come crouching in the hams to you for a nights lodging—that hath and itch in's hams, which Like the fire at the glass house hath not gone out this seven years—is he not a courtly gentleman,—when he wears white satin one would take him by his black mussel to be no other creature then a maggot, you are a goodly Foil, I confess, well set out—but covered with a false stone you con terfaite diamond. Come, my Lord attends you, thou shalt go to bed to my Lord. With a relish as curious as a vintner going to taste new wine, I am opening your case hard. He will give thee a ring with a philosophers stonein it. Thou shalt lie in a bed stuffed with turtles feathers, swoon in perfumed linen Like the fellow was smothered in roses, so perfect shall be thy happiness, that as men at Sea think land and trees and ships go that way they go, so both heaven and earth shall seem to go your voyage. Shalt meet him, 'tis fixed, with nails of diamonds to inevitable necessity. I will put breeze in's tail, set him gadding presently, I have almost wrought her to it, I find her coming, but might I advise you now for this night I would not lie with her, I would cross her humour to make her more humble. Right you are the Adamant shall draw her to you, though you keep distance of: Walk by her a'the noble men fashion, and tell her you will lie with her at the end of the Progress But do you hear I shall have you steal to her chamber about midnight. In I will, isle be your jailer once, But have you never a false door. I will. Do, do, do. So now you are safe. Would would would, thou intanglest thy self in thine own work Like a silkworm Come sister, darkness hides your blush, women are Like cursed dogs, civility keeps them tied all day time, but they are let lose at midnight, then they do most good or most mischief, my Lord, my Lord Most happy union. A poor quackesaluing knave, my Lord, one that should have be lashed for's lechery, but that he confessed a judgement, had and execution laid upon him, and so put the whip to a nonplus. I'll think on't, The Lord Ambassadors. And my Lord Duke for me. Who I? Oh I am a found man again. Good, this is a preface to the discovery of the Duchess death: He carries it well: because now I cannot counterfeit a whining passion for the death of my Lady, I will feign a mad humour for the disgrace of my sister, and that will keep off idle questions, Treasons tongue hath a villainous palsy in't, I will talk to any man, hear no man, and for a time appear a politic madman. We endure the strokes Like anvils or hard steel, Till pain it self make us no pain to feel. Who shall do me right now? Is this the end of service? Idem rather go weed garlic; travail through France, and be mine own ostler; wear sheepskin linings; or shoes that stink of blacking; be entered into the list of the forty thousand pedlars in Poland. Would I had rotted in some Surgeons house at Venice, built upon the Pox as well as on piles, ere I had served Brachiano. Your comfortable words are Like honey. They relish well in your mouth that's whole; but in mine that's wounded they go down as if the sting of the Be were in them. O they have wrought their purpose cunningly, as if they would not seem to do it of malice. In this a Politician imitates the devil, as the devil imitates a Canon. Wheresoever he comes to do mischief, he comes with his backside towards you. Proof! was corruption. Oh Gold, what a God art thou! and o man, what a devil art thou to be tempted by that cursed Mineral! You diversivolent Lawyer; mark him, knaves turn informers, as maggots turn to flies, you may catch good gions with either. A Cardinal; I would he would hear me, theres nothing so holy but money will corrupt and putrify it, Like victual under the live. You are happy in England, my Lord; here they fell justice with those weights they press men to death with. Oh horrible salary! Bells never ring well, till they are at their full pitch, And I hope yond Cardinal shall never have the grace to pray well, till he come to the scaffold. If they were racked now to know the confederacy! But your Noblemen are privileged from the rack; and well may. For a little thing would pull some of them a pieces afore they came to their arraignment. Religion; o how it is commeddled with policy. The first bloodshed in the world happened about re ligion. Would I were a Jew. You are deceived. There are not Jews enough; Priests enough, nor gentlemen enough. I'll prove it. For if there were Jews enough, so many Christians would not turn usurers; if Priests enough, one should not have six Benefices; and if gentlemen enough, so many early mushrooms, whose best growth sprang from a dunghill, should not aspire to gentility. Farewell. Let others live by begging. Be thou one of them; practice the art of Will or in England to swallow all's given thee; and yet let one pur gation make thee as hungry again as fellows that work in saw-pit. I'll go hear the screechowl. How dares this banished Count return to Room, His pardon not yet purchased? I have herd The deceased Duchess gave him pension, And that he came along from Padua I'th' train of the young Prince. There's somewhat in it. Physicians, that cure poisons, still do work With counterpoisons. The God of Melancholy turn thy gall to poison, And let the stigmatic wrinkles in thy face, Like to the boisterous waves in a rough tide One still overtake and other. How croaks the raven? Is our good Duchess dead? Oh fate! Misfortune comes Like the Crowners business, Huddle upon huddle. Yes, content. Let's be unsociably sociable. Only with making faces; Lie in our clothes. And be lousy. Yes: and Like your melancholic hare Feed after midnight. We are observed: see how yond couple grieve. I'll tell thee what, It would do well in stead of looking glasses To set ones face each morning by a sauncer Of a witches congealed blood. Never: till the beggary of Courtiers, The discontent of churchmen, want of soldiers, And all the creatures that hang manacled, Worse then strappado'd, on the lowest felly Of Fortune's wheel be taught in our two lives. To scorn that world which life of means deprives. Like one That had for ever forfeited, the daylight, By being in debt, An't shall stick by you. Not a scruple. The Pope lies on his deathbed, and their heads Are troubled now with other business Than guarding of a Lady. How now? what's that? To my sister: I'll see't delivered. Look. I know not. Vd's foot you speak, as if a man Should know what foul is coffind in a baked meat Afore you cut it up. Your tears I'll turn to triumphs, be but mine. Your propis fallen; I pity that a vine Which Princes heretofore have longed to gather, Wanting suppperters, now should fade and wither. Wine i'faith, my Lord, with lees would serve his turn. Your sadimprisonement lle soon uncharm, And with a princely uncontrolled arm Led you to Florence, where my love and care Shall hang your wishes in my silver hair. A halter on his strange equivocation. Nor for y years return me the sad willow, Who prefer blossoms before fruit that's mellow. Rotten on my knowledge with lying too long i'th bedstraw. And all the lines of age this line convinces: The Gods never wax old, no more do Princes. Apox on't tear it, let's have no more Atheists for Gods sake. That? what do you call her? Over head and ears in water, I assure you, She is not for your wearing. What me, my Lord, am I your dog? Stand you? let those that have diseases run; I needs no plasters. Would you have your neck broke? I tell you Duke, I am not in Russia; My shins must be kept whole. Oh my Lord! methodically. As in this world there are degrees of evils: So in this world there are degrees of devils. You're a great Duke; I your poor secretary. I do look now for a Spanish fig, or and Italian salad daily. All your kindness to me is Like that miserable cur tesie of Polyphemus to Ulysses, you reserve me to be devoured last, you would dig traves out of my graven to feed your Larks: that would be music to you. Come, I'll led you to her. Oh Sir I would not go before a Politic enemy with my back towards him, though there were behind me a whirl pool. Beware hawk, my Lord. Fie, my Lord. Now for tow whirl winds. Turn to my Lord, good sister. Pandar! Am I the author of your sin? Wee're blown up, my Lord, Oh, no oaths for gods sake. What a damned impostume is a woman's will? Can nothing break it? fie, fie, my Lord. Women are caught as you take Tortoises, She must be turned on her back. Sister, by this hand I am on your side. Come, come, you have wronged her. What a strange credulous man were you, my Lord, To think the Duke of Florence could love her? Will any Mercer take and others beware When once it is toused and sullied? And, yet sister, How scurvily this frowardness becomes you? Young Leverets stand not long; and women's anger Should, Like their flight, procure a little sport; A full cry for a quarter of and hour; And then be put to the dead quat. No cruel Landlady 'ith' world, Which lend's forth grotes to broome-men, & takes use for the ̄ , Would doe't. Hand her, my Lord, and kiss her: be not Like A ferret to let go your hold with blowing. Now you are ith' way out, follow 'thard. Mark his penitence. Best nature's do commit the grossest faults, When they're given over to jealousy; as best wine Dying makes strongest vinneger. I'll tell you; The Sea's more rough and raging than calm rivers, But nor so sweet nor wholesome. A quiet woman Is a still water under a great bridge. A man may shoot her safely. We sucked that, sister, from women's breasts, in our first infancy. Ud'foot, it shall melt, To a heart again, or all the wine in Room Shall run o'th lees for't. Stop her mouth, With a sweet kiss, my Lord. So now the tide's turned the vessel's come about He's a sweet armefull. Oh we curl'd-haird men Are still most kind to women. This is well. Oh, sir, your little chimneys Do ever cast most smoke. I sweated for you. Couple together with as deep a silence, As did the Grecians in their wooden horse. My Lord supply your promises with deeds. You know that painted meat no hunger feeds. Room! it deserves to be called Barbary, for our villainous And no time fitter than this night, my Lord; The Pope being dead; and all the Cardinals entered The Conclave for the electing a new Pope; The City in a great confusion; We may attire her in a Pages suit, Lay her post-horse, take shipping, and amain For Padua. Lo you sister. Stay, my Lord; I'll tell you a tale. The crocodile, which lives in the river Nilus, hath a worm breds i'th teeth of't, which puts it to extreme anguish: a little bird, no bigger then a wren, is bar bor-surgeon to this crocodile; flies into the jaws of't; picks out the worm; and brings present remedy. The fish, glad of ease but ingrateful to her that did it, that the bird may not talk largely of her abroad for non payment, closeth her chaps inten ding to swallow her, and so put her to perpetual silence. But nam ture loathing such in gratitude, hath armed this bird with a quill or prick on the head, top o'th which wounds the crocodile i'th mouth; forceth her open her bloody prison; and away flies the pretty tooth-picker from her cruel patient. In all the weary minutes of my life, Day never broke up till now. This marriage. Confirms me happy. Yes, and conferred with him i'th Dukes closet, I have not seen a goodlier personage, Nor ever talked with man better experienced In State-affares or rudiments of war. He hath by report, served the Venetian In Candy these twice seven years, and be chief In many a bold design. Two Noblemen of Hungary, that living in the Empe rours service as commanders, eight years since, contrary to the expectation of all the Court entered into religion, into the strict order of Capuchins: but being not well settled in their vnderta king they left their Order and returned to Court: for which be king after troubled in conscience, they vowed their service against the enemies of Christ; went to Malta; were there knighted; and in their return back, at this great solemnity, they are resolved for ever to forsake the world, and settle themselves here in a house of Capuchins in Padua. One thing makes it so. They have vowed for ever to wear next their bore bodies those coats of mail they sir ved in. He is. I know not. For by this light I do not conjure for her. 'Tis not so great a cunning as men think To raise the devil: for heeres one up already, The greatest cunning were to lay him down I prithee pardon her. In faith you see, women are Like to burrs; Where their affection throws them, there they'll stick. I beseech you do, How is that brave soldier; o that I had seen Some of your iron days! I pray relate Some of your service to us. If this soldier had a patent to beg in Churches, then he would tell them stories, Give me a fair room yet hung with Arras, and some great Cardinal to lug me by the ears as his endeared Minion. And safely. I will now give you some politic instruction. The Duke says he will give you pension; that's but bore promise: get it under his hand. For I have known men that have come from serving against the Turk; for three or four months they have had pension to buy them new wooden legs and fresh plasters; but after 'twas not to be had. And this miserable cur tesie shows, as if a Tormenter should give hight cordial drinks to one three quarters dead o'th' rack, only to fetch the miseram ble soul again to endure more dogdaies. How now, Gallants; what are they ready for the Barriers? A new upstart: one that swears Like a Falckner, and will lie in the Dukes ear day by day Like a maker of Almanacs; And yet I knew him since he came to the Court smell worse of sweat than and vnder-tennis-court keeper. Thou art my sworn brother, I'll tell thee, I do love that More, that Witch very constrainedly: she knows some of my villainy; I do love her, joust as a man holds a wolf by the ears. But for fear of turning upon me, and pulling out my throat, I would let her go to the Devil. In-faith, I made to her some such dark promise, and in seeking to fly from't I run on, Like a frighted dog with a bottle at stale, that feign would bite it off and yet dares not look be hind him. Now my precious Gipsy! Marry, I am the sounder, lover, we have many wenches about the Town heat too fast. How? love a Lady for painting or gay apparel? I'll un kennel one example more for thee. Esop had a foolish dog that let go the flesh to catch the shadow. I would have Courtiers be better Diverse. Lovers oaths are Like Mariners prayers, uttered in ex tremity; but when the tempest is over, and that the vessel leaves tumbling, they fallen from protesting to drinking. And yet amongst Gentlemen protesting and drinking go together, and agree as well as Shoemakers and Westphalia bacon. They are both drawers on: for drink draws on protestation; and protestation draws on more drink. Is not this discourse better now then the mortality of your sunburnt Gentleman. You should be clapped by heals now: strike i'th Court. Why do you kick her? say, Do you think that she's Like a walnut-tree? Must she be cudgeled ere she bear good fruit? She brags that you shall marry her. What then? Your a boy, a fool, Be guardian to your hound, I am of age. With a fan of feathers? Hang him. He wrongs me most that ought t'offend me least, I do suspect my mother played soul play, When she conceived thee. Do Like the geesse in the progress, You know where you shall find me, Your love is untimely sown, Ther's a Spring at Michaelmas, but it's but a faint one, I am sunk In years, and I have vowed never to marry. I'll think on the motion. Of all intelligence this may prove the best, Sure I shall draw strange fowl, from this foul nest. I have brought your weapon back. Do you turn your gaul up? I'll to sanctuary, And send a surgeon to you. It was my misfortune. No? At your pleasure. Your will is law now, I'll not meddle with it. Armourer; where's the Armourer? Are you hurt, my Lord? Remove the bar: here's unfortunate reuls, Call the Physicians; a plague upon you; We have to much of your cunning here already. I fear the Ambassadors are likewise poisoned. Franciscant. They have brought the extreme unction. To see what solitariness is about dying Princes. As heretofore they have unpeopled Towns; diuorst friends, and made great houses unhospitable: so now, o justice! where are their flatterers now? Flatterers are but the shadows of Princes bodies the least thick cloud makes them invisible. In-faith, for some few hours salt water will run most plentifully in every Office o'th Court. But believe it; most of them do but weep over their stepmothers graves. Why? They dissemble, as some men do that live within compass o'th verge. In-faith, Like a wolf in a woman's breast; I have been fed with poultry; but for money, understand me, I had as good a will to cousin him, as ever and Officer of them all. But I had not cunning enough to do it. He was a kind of Statesman, that would sooner have reckoned how many Cannon bullets he had discharged against a Town, to count his expense that way, than how many of his valiant and deserving subjects he lost before it. I have done. Will't hear some of my Court wisdom? To reprehend Princes is dangerous: and to over-commend some of them is palpable lying. There's some good luck in that yet. Sir, have patience. Sir, you shall. Where? No, my Lord. Vittoria, my Lord. A Divine my Lord. I do not Like that he names me so often, Especially on's deathbed: it's a sign I shall not live long: see he's near his end. See, see, how firmly he does fix his eye Upon the Crucifix. Oh yes, yes; Had women navigable rivers in their eyes They would dispend them all; surely I wonder Why we should wish more rivers to the City, When they fell water so good cheap. I'll tell thee, These are but Moonish shades of griefs or fears, There's nothing sooner dry than womens-tears. Why here's and end of all my harvest, he has given me nothing Court promises! Let wisemen count them cursed For while you live he that scores best pays worst. Very likely. Those are found weighty strokes which come from hand, But those are killing strokes which come from th'head. Oh the rare tricks of a Machiavellian! He does not come Like a gross plodding slave And buffet you to death: No, my quaint knave, He tickles you to death; makes you die laughing; As if you had swallowed down a pound of saffron You see the seat, it's practised in a trice To teach Court-honesty, it jumps on Ice. Misery of Princes, That must of force be censured by their slaves! Not only blamed for doing things are ill, But for not doing all that all men will. One were better be a thresher. Uds'death, I would feign speak with this Duke yet. And cridst out, The hair did tickle thee. I have known a poor woman's bastard better favoured, This is behind him: Now, to his face all continued ̄ parisons were hateful: Wise was the Courtly Peacock, that being a great Minion, and being compared for beauty, by some dottrels that stood by, to the Kingly Eagle, said the Eagle was a far fairer bird then herself, not in respect of her feathers, but in respect of her long Tallants. His will grow out in time, My gracious Lord. Your Grace must be merry: it's I have cause to mourn, for wot you what said the little boy that road behind his father on horseback? When you are dead father (said he) I hope then I shall ride in the saddle, Oh it's a brave thing for a man to fit by himself: he may stretch himself in the stirrups, look about, and see the whole compass of the Hemisphere, you're now, my Lord, ith saddle. Study my prayers? he threatens me divinely, I am falling to pieces already, I care not, though, Like Anacharsis I were pounded to death in a mortar. And yet that death were fitter for Usurers gold and themselves to be beaten together, to make a most cordial cullice for the devil. He hath his uncles villainous look already, In dicimo sexto. Now sir, what are you? Verily, Master Courtier, extremity is not to be used in all offices: Say that a gentlewoman were taken out of her bed about midnight, and committed to Castle Angelo, to the Tower yonder, with nothing about her, but her smock: would it not show a cruel partly in the gentleman porter to lay claim to her upper garment, pull it over her head and ears; and put her in naked? Does he make a Court ejectment of me? A flaming firebrand casts more smoke without a chimney, then withint. I'll smoore some of them. How now? Thou heart sad. Thou metst another hear a pitiful Degraded Courtier. I will see them. I will see them. They are behind the Travers. I'll discover Their superstitious howling. So. I would I were from hence. Do and you will, do. I have a strange thing in me, to the which I cannot give a name, without it be Compassion, I pray leave me. This night I'll know the ut most of my fate I'll be resolved what my rich sister means T'assigne me for my service: I have lived Riotously ill, Like some that live in Court. And sometime, when my face was full of smiles Have felt the maze of conscience in my breast. Oft gay and honoured robes those tortures try, "We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry. Would! I can stand thee. Nearer, nearer yet. What a mockery hath death made of thee? thou lookest sad. In what place art thou? in you starry gallery, Or in the cursed dungeon? No? not speak? Pray, Sir, resolve me, what religions best For a man to die in? or is it in your knowledge To answer me how long I have to live? That's the most necessary question. Not answer? Are you still Like some great men That only walk Like shadows up and down, And to no purpose: say:— What's that? Oh fatal! he throws earth upon me A dead men scull beneath the roots of flowers. I pray speak Sir, our Italian Churchmen Make us believe, dead men hold conference With their familiars, and many times Will come to bed to them, and eat with them. He's gone; and see, the scull and earth are vanished. This is beyond melancholy. I do dare my fate To do its worst. Now to my sisters lodging, And sum up all these horrors; the disgrace The Prince threw on me; next the piteous sighed Of my dead brother; and my Mother's dotage; And last this terrible vision. All these Shall with Vittoria's bounty turn to good, Or I will drown this weapon in her blood. What are you at your prayers? Give e. I come to you about worldly business: Fit down, fit down: Nay stay blouze, you may hear it, The doors are fast enough. Yes, yes, with wormwood water, you shall taste Some of it presently. You are my Lords Executrix, and I claim Reward, for my long service. Come therefore here is pen and Ink, set down What you will give me. Would! have you done already, It's a most short conveyance. A most courtly Patent to beg by. Is't come to this? the say affrights cure agues: Thou hast a Devil in thee; I will try If I can scar him from thee: Nay fit still: My Lord hath left me yet two case of Jewels Shall make me scorn your bounty; you shall see the ̄ . Look, these are better far at a dead list, Then all your jewel house. I'll turn the right side towards you: you shall see how the will sparkle. Pray there good woman do not trouble me With this vain wordly business; say your prayers, I made a vow to my deceased Lord, Neither your self, nor I should outlive him, The numbering of four hours. He did, and 'twas a deadly jealousy, Least any should enjoy thee after him; That urged him vow me to it: For my death I did propound it voluntarily, knowing If he could not be safe in his own Court Being a great Duke, what hope then for us? Away, Fool, thou art to think that Politicians Do use to kill the effects of injuries And let the cause live: shall we groan in irons, Or be a shameful and a weighty burden To a public scaffold: This is my resolve I would not live at any men entreaty Nor die at any's bidding. My life hath done service to other men, My death shall serve mine own turn; make you ready With as much pleasure As ever my father got me. I'll stop your With Winter plums, Leave your prating, For these are but grammatical laments, Feminine arguments, and they move me As some in Pulpits move their Auditory More with their exclamation then sense Of reason, or found Doctrine. I have held it A wretched and most miserable life, Which is not able to die. Oh most loved More! Thou dost instruct me nobly, take these pistols, Because my hand is stained with blood already: Two of these you shall level at my breast, Th'other gainst your own, and so we'll die, Most equally contented: But first swear Not to outlive me. Then here's and end of me: farewell daylight And o contemptible Physic! that dost take So long a study, only to preserve So short a life, I take my leave of thee. These are two cupping-glasses, that shall draw All my infected blood out, Are you ready? Whither shall I go now? Oh Luncian thy ridiculous Pur gatory to find Alexander the great cobbling shoes, Pompey tag ging points, and Julius Caesar; making hair buttons, Haniball sell ling blacking, and Augustus crying garlic, Charlemaigne selling lists by the dozen, and King Pippin crying Apples in a cart drawn with one horse. Whither I resolve to Fire, Earth, water, Air, Or all the Elements by scruples; I know not Nor greatly care,—Shoot, shoot, Of all death's the violent death is best, For from our selves it steals our selves so fast The pain once apprehended is quite passed. I am mixed with Earth already: As you are Noble Perform your vows, and bravely follow me. Will you be perjured? what a religious oath was Stix that the Gods never durst swear by and violate? o that we had such and oath to minister, and to be so well kept in our Courts of Justice. Oh I am caught with a spring! Killed with a couple of branches. Oh the ways dark and horrid! I cannot see, Shall I have no company? Oh I smell soot, most sinking soot, the chimneis a fire, My livers purboil'd Like scotch holly-bread; There's a plumber, laying pipes in my guts, it scalds; Wilt thou outlive me? Oh cunning Devils! now I have tried your love, And doubled all your reaches. I am not wounded: The pistols held no bullets: 'twas a plot To prove your kindness to me; and I live To punish your ingratitude, I knew One time or other you would find a way To give me a strong potion, ò Men That lie upon your deathbeds, and are haunted With howling wives, near trust them, they'le remarry Ere the worm Pierce your winding sheet: ere the Spider Make a thin curtain for your Epitaphs. How cunning you were to discharge? Do you practice at the Artillery yard? Trust a woman; never, never; Brachiano be my president: we lay our souls to pawn to the Devil for a lit tle pleasure, and a woman makes the bill of sale. That ever man should marry! For one Hypermnestra that saved her Lord and husband, forty nine of her sisters cut their husbands throats all in one night. There was a shoal of virtuous horseleeches. Here are two other Instruments. What noise is that? hah? falce keys i'th Court. A matachine it By your drawn swords. (seems, Chuch-men turned revellers. Lodovico and Gasparo. You shall not take Justice from forth my hands, Oh let me kill her.—I'll cut my safety Through your coats of steel: Fate's a Spaniel, We cannot Beatrice it from us: what remains now? Let all that do ill, take this president: Man may his Fate foresce, but not prevent. And of all Axioms this shall win the prize, It's better to be fortunate then wise. Thoul't do it Like a hangman; a base hangman; Not Like a noble fellow, for thou seest I cannot strike again. Wouldst have me die, as I was born, in whining. No I will carry mine own commendations thither. Nothing; of nothing: leave thy idle questions; I am ith way to study a long silence, To prate were idle, I remember nothing. The nothing of so infinite vexation As men own thoughts. Oh what blade is't? A Toledo, or and English Fox. I ever thought a Cutler should distinguish The cause of my death, rather then a Doctor. Search my wound deeper: tent it with the steel that made it. Th'art a noble sister I love thee now; if woman do breed man She ought to teach him manhood: Fare thee well. Know many glorious Women that are famed For masculine virtue, have been vicious Only a happier silence did betide them She hath no faults, who hath the art to hide them. Then cast anchor. "Prosperity does bewitch men seeming clear, "But seas do laugh, show white, when Rocks are near. "We cease to grieve, cease to be Fortune's slaves, "Nay cease to die by dying. Art thou gone And thou so near the bottom: falce report Which says that Women vie with the nine Muses For nine tough durable lives: I do not look Who went before, nor who shall follow me; No, at my self I will begin and end: "While we look up to heaven we confound "Knowledge with knowledge. o I am in a missed. It seems you are Jealous, isle show you the error of it by a familiar example, I have seen a pair of spectacles fashioned with such perspective art, that lay down but one twelve pence ath'bord 'twill appear as if there were twenty, now should you wear a pair of these spectacles, and see your wife tying her shoe, you would Imagine twenty hands were taking up of your wives clothes, and this would put you into a horrible causeless fury, It will show in you a supremacy of Judgement. Excellent, His Jewel for her Jewel, well put in Duke. That's better she must wear his Jewel lower. No the devil was in your dream. Excellent Devil. She hath taught him in a dream To make away his Duchess and her husband. What fury raised thee up? away, away I pray will you go to bed then, Least you be blasted. How? come to Room, So, have you done? Are you out of your wits, my Lord I'll fetch her back again? Now, you that stand so much upon your honour, Is this a fitting time a night think you, To send a Duke home without ere a man: I would feign know where lies the mass of wealth Which you have whoorded for my maintenance, That I may bear my beard out of the level Of my Lords Stirrup. Pray what means have you To keep me from the galleys, or the gallows? My father proved himself a Gentleman, Sold al's land, and Like a fortunate fellow, Died ere the money was spent. You brought me up, At Padua I confess, where I protest For want of means, the University judge me, I have be feign to heel my Tutors stockings At least seven years: Conspiring with a beard Made me a Graduate, then to this Dukes service, I visited the Court, whence I returned: More courteous, more lecherous by far, But not a suit the richer, and shall I, Having a path so open and so free To my preferment, still retain your milk In my pale forehead, no this face of mine I'll arm and fortify with lusty wine, Gainst shame and blushing. So would I. I would the commonest Courtesan in Room, Had be my mother rather then thy self. Nature is very pittfull to whores To give them but few children, yet those children Plurality of father's, they are sure They shall not want. Go, go, Complain unto my great Lord Cardinal, Yet may be he will justify the act. Lycurgus wondered much men would provide Good stallions for their Mares, and yet would suffer Their fair wives to be barren, The Duchess come to Court, I Like not that, We are engaged to mischief and must on. As Rivers to find out the Ocean Flow with crook bendings beneath forced banks, Or as we see to aspire some mountains top, The way ascends not straight, but Imitates The subtle foldings of a Winter's snake, So who knows policy and her true aspect, Shall find her ways winding and indirect. My Lord do you mark their whispering, I will come pound a medicine out of their two heads, stronger then garlic, deadlier then stibium, the Cantarides which are scarce seen to stick upon the flesh when they work to the heart, shall not do it with more silence or invisible cunning. They are sending him to Naples, but I'll send him to Candy, hers another property to. He will shoot pills into a men guts, shall make them have more ventages then a cornet or a lamprey, he will poison a kiss, and was once minded, for his Masterpiece, because Ire land breeds no poison, to have prepared a deadly vapour in a Spaniards fart that should have poisoned all Dublin. Oh thou cursed antipathy to nature, look his eyes bloodshed Like a needle a Chirurgeon stitcheth a wound with, let me embrace thee toad, & love thee o thou abominable loath some gargarism, that will fetch up lungs, lights, heart, and liver by scruples. He die this night by such a politic strain, Men shall suppose him by's own engine slain. But for your Duchess death. Remember this you slave, when knaves come to pre ferment they rise as gallouses are raised i'th low countries, one upon another shoulders. Or cocoulds, for your cocould is your most terrible tickler of lechery: whoremasters would serve, for none are judges at tilting, but those that have be old Tilters. You are a dull ass, it's threatened they have be very public. What then? A Cardinal I hope will not catch conies. True, her upper partly by that rule, if you will win her neither partly to, you know what follows. I do put on this feigned Garb of mirth, To gull suspicion. I made a kind of path To her & mine own preferment. Hum! thou art a soldier, Followest the great Duke, feedest his victories, As witches do their serviceable spirits, Even with thy prodigal blood, what hast God? But Like the wealth of Captains, a poor handful, Which in thy palm thou bearest, as men hold water Seeking to gripe it fast, the frail reward Steals through thy fingers. Thou hast scarce maintenance To keep thee in fresh shamoys. Hear me, And thus when we have even poured ourselves, Into great fights, for their ambition Or idle spleen, how shall we find reward, But as we seldom find the mistle-towe Sacred to physic: Or the builder Oak, Without a Mandrake by it, so in our quest of gain. Alas the poorest of their forced dislikes At a limb proffers, but at heart it strikes: This is lamented doctrine. When age shall turn thee, White as a blooming hauthorne. I saw him at last Tilting, he showed Like a peuter can dlesticke fashioned Like a man in armour, holding a Tilting staff in his hand, little bigger then a candle of twelve i'th pound. A lame one in his lofty tricks, he sleeps a horse back Like a poulter, He carries his face in's ruff, as I have seen a serving man carry glasses in a cipres hatband, monstrous steady for fear of breaking, He looks Like the claw of a blackbird, first salted and then broiled in a candle. Why do you laugh? There was no such condition in our covenant. You shall not seem a happier man then I, You know our vow sir, if you will be merry, Do it i'th Like posture, as if some great man Sat while his enemy were executed: Though it be very lechery unto thee, Doo't with a crabbed Politicians face. Would? Dost ever think to speak again? I do not greatly wonder you do break: Your Lordship learnt long since. But I'll tell you, This laughter scurvily becomes your face, If you will not be melancholy, be angry. See now I laugh too. No, my Lord; You sister are the crocodile: you are blemished in your fame, My Lord cures it. And though the comparison hold not in every particle; yet observe, remember, what good the bird with the prick i'th head hath done you; and scorn ingratitude. It may appear to some ridiculous Thus to talk knave and madman; and sometime Come in with a dried sentence, stuffed with sage. But this allows my varying of shapes, Knaves do grow great by being great men's apes. Their satin cannot save them. I am confident They have a certain spice of the disease, For they that sleep with dogs; shall rise with fleas. Are you choleric? I'll purg't with Rubarbe. I cannot conjure; but if prayers or oaths Will get to speech of him: though forty devils Weight on him in his livery of flames, I'll speak to him, and shake him by the hand, Though I be blasted. So, the wolf and the raven are very pretty fools when they are young. Is it your office, sir, to keep me out? We send, unto the Duke for conference Bout leauyes' gainst the Pirates, my Lord Duke Is not at home, we come our self in person, Still my Lord Duke is busied, but we fear When Tiber to each proling passenger Discovers flocks of wild-ducks, then my Lord About moulting time, I mean we shall be certain To find you sure enough and speak with you. A mere tale of a tub, my words are idle, But to express the Sonnet by natural reason, When Stags grow melancholic you'll find the season Poor Lord; you did vow To live a lousy creature. Because he understands ther's Like to grow Some wars between us and the Duke of Florence, In which he Hope's employment. I never saw one in a stern bold look Wear more command, nor in a lofty phrase Express more knowing, or more deep contempt Of our slight airy Courtiers. He talks As if he had travailed all the Princes Courts Of Christendom; in all things strives express, That all that should dispute with him may know, Glories, Like glowworms, a far off shine bright But looked to near, have neither heat norlight. The Duke. How heavily she takes it. Sure, this was Florence doing. Now have the people liberty to talk And descant on his vices. Now he's dead? You're passionately met in this sad world. I recover Like a spent taper, for a flash And instantly go out. Let all that belong to Great men remember the old wides tram dition, to be Like the Lyons ith Tower on Candlemas day, to mourn if the Sun shine, for fear of the pitiful remainder of winter to come. It's well yet there's some goodness in my death, My life was a black charnel: I have catch And everlasting could. I have lost my voice Most irrecoverably: Farewell glorious villains, "This busy trade of life appears most vain, "Since rest breeds rest, where all seek pain by pain. Let no harsh flattering Bells resound my knell, Strike thunder, and strike loud to my farewell.