WINIFRED

Why Mistress, 'tis your only way, To enjoin me first that I reveal to you The worst act I ere did in all my life: So one secret shall bind one another. But think not, Mistress, That any sin which ever I committed, Did concern you, for proving false in one thing, You were a fool, if ever you would trust me In the least matter of weight. 'Tis truth. Have you poisoned him? You must minister it to him with all privacy. So it'll I hope. Not I sir. What is't? Green ginger? Pray what is't? I shall have no stomach. Please your Lordship, I was the party that dealt In the business and brought them together. A running Ballad now and then to her Viol, For he was never well, but when he was fiddling. No my Lord, But I have brought him to the bed side. He wore no shoes, an't please you my Lord. Neither. He wore Tennis-court woollen slippers, For fear of creaking sir, and making a noise, To wake the rest o'th house. Please your Lordship, question me in Latin, For the cause is very foul; the Examiner o'th Court Was feign to get it out of me alone i'th Countinghouse, Cause he would not spoil the youth o'th Office. Idem be loath to be ignorant that way, For I hope to marry a Proctor, & take my pleasure abroad At the Commencements with him. I will come as close as modesty will give me leave. Truth is, every morning when he lay with her, I made a Caudle for him, by the appointment Of my Mistress, which he would still refuse, And call for small drink. And said he was wondrous thirsty. Most effectual, my Lord. I have herd them laugh together extremely, And the Curtain rods fallen from the tester of the bed, And he never came from her, but he thrust money in my hand; and once in truth, he would have had some dealing with me, which I took; he thought 'twould be the only way ith world to make me keep counsel the better. What a questions that to be asked, may it please your Lordsh 'tis to be thought he lay nearer to her then so. About six and forty, my Lord. I do not know my age directly; sure I am elder, I can remember two great frosts, and three great plagues, And the lose of Calais, and the first coming up Of the Breeches with the great Codpiece, And I pray what age do you take me of then? You may see truth will out in spite of the Devil. What do you think will become of me now? May it please the Court, I am but a young thing, And was drawn a sie, varsie into the business. Five and forty, and shall please you! I am not five and twenty: She made me colour my hair with Bean-flower, To seem older then I was; and then my rotten teeth, With eating sweetmeats: why, should a Farrier Look in my mouth, he might mistake my age. O Mistress, Mistress, you are and honest woman, And you may be ashamed on't, to abuse the Court thus. You do love me sir, you say? And you will marry me? Honest, what mean you by that? How, living? No, I must not tell her of it. For she did bind me yesterday by oath, Never more to speak of him. By no means, he has herd me Tell so many lies ith Court, he'll never believe me. What if I told it to the Capuchin? Sir, I shall And conveyed letters between them. (house? I shall, my Lord. How sir? Sir? Why sir? O good sir, I have traveled. Very well sir, You may use me at your pleasure. I could weep with you, but 'tis no matter, I can do that at any time, I have now A greater mind to rail a little: Plague of these Unsanctified Matches; they make us loath The most natural desire our grandame Eve ever left us. Force one to marry against their will; why it's A more ungodly work, then enclosing the Commons. Here's one I hope will put you out of't. O you pretty ones, I have seen this Lord many a time and oft Set her in's lap, and talk to her of Love So feelingly, I do protest it has made me Run out of my self to think on't; o sweet breathed Monkey, how they grow together? well, 'tis my opinion, He was no woman's friend that did invent A punishment for kissing. She has done nothing else these three days; had you stood behind the Arras, to have herd her shed so much salt water as I have done, you would have thought she had been turned Fountain. Yes, but the Devil would feign put in for's share, In likeness of a Separation. To avoid which, get you instantly to bed together, Do, and I think no Civil Lawyer for his fee Can give you better Council.