CRISPIANO

Am I well habited? Wenching? Oh fie, the Disease follows it: Beside, can the fingering Taffaties, or Lawns, Or a painted hand, or a Breast be Like the pleasure In taking Clients fees, and piling them In several goodly rows before my Desk? And according to the bigness of each heap, Which I took by a lere: for Lawyers do not tell them, I veiled my cap, and withal gave great hope The Cause should go on their sides. Very well, seventy one: The Battle of Lepanto was fought in't, A most remarkable time, it'll lie for no men pleasure And what proof is there more then the affirmation of the Mother, of this corporal dealing? There's a Nun too you have God with child, How will you dispose of her? Why my son lives here in Naples & in's riot Does far exceed the exhibition I allowed him. Well, I will give him line, Let him run on in's course of spending. Freely: For I protest, if that I could conceive My son would take more pleasure or content, By any course of riot, in the expense, Then I took joy, nay souls felicity In the getting of it, should all the wealth I have Waste to as small and atomy as Flies I'th 'unne, I do protest on that condition, It should not move me. Be so. No pleasure in the world was comparable too't. He shall never taste the Like, unless he study law. Cry of Curs? The noise of Clients at my Chamber door, Was sweeter Music far, in my conceit, Then all the Haunting in Europe. I marry sir, to have him keep a good house, And not sell't away, Idem find no fault with that: But his Kitchen, Idem have no bigger then a Saw-pit; For the smallness of a Kitchen without question, Makes many Noblemen in France and Spain, Built the rest of the house the bigger. Some sevenscore Chimneys, But half of them have no Tonnels. Come, come, leave citing other vanities; For neither Wine, nor Lust, nor riotous feasts, Rich clothes, nor all the pleasure that the Devil Has ever practised with, to raise a man To a Devils likeness, ere brought man that pleasure I took in getting my wealth: so I conclude. If he can outvie me, let it fly to'th Devil. Yon's my son, what company keeps he? I never saw him till now, A has a brave sprightly look, I knew his father, And sojourned in his house two years together, Before this young men birth; I have news to tell him Of certain losses happened him at Sea, That will not please him. 'Tis the same, There he stands, but a little piece of flesh, But he is the very miracle of a Lawyer, One that persuades men to peace, & compounds quarrels Among his neighbours, without going to law. Yes, and will give counsel In honest causes gratis, never in his life Took fee, but he came and spoke for't, is a man Of extreme practice, and yet all his longing, Is to become a Judge. To him, rate him soundly. Sir, I was directed to you. From the East Indies. Sir, the King of Spain Suspects, that your Romelio here, the Merchant Has discovered some Gold-mine to his own use, In the West Indies, and for that employs me, To discover in what partly of Christendom He vents this I reasure: Beside, he is informed What mad tricks has been played of late by Ladies. Well, I have vowed, That I will never fit upon the Bench more, Unless it be to curb the insolences. Of these women. 'Tis a strange Suit, is Leonora come. Take off her Veil: it seems she is ashamed To look her cause i'th face. Is Romelio come? I assure you, the proceeding Is most unequal then, for I perceive, The Council of the adverse party furnished With full Instruction. 'Tis your mother. Sir, we will do you this favour, You shall hear the Accusation, Which being known, we will adjourn the Court, Till a fortnight hence, you may provide your counsel. Not to Franscisco Romelio? What was that? No more. You have urged enough; You first affirm, her husband was away from her Eleven months. And at seven months end, After his return she was delivered Of this Romelio, and had gone her full time. So by this account this Gentleman was begotten, In his supposed father's absence. A most strange Suit this, 'tis beyond example, Either time passed, or present; for a woman, To publish her own dishonour voluntarily, Without being called in question, some forty years After the sin committed, and her Council To enlarge the offence with as much Oratory, As ever I did hear them in my life, Defend a guilty woman; 'tis most strange: Or why with such a poisoned violence Should she labour her soon undoing: we observe Obedience of creatures to the Law of Nature, Is the stay of the whole world; here that Law is broke, For though our Civil Law makes difference Tween the base, and the ligitimate; compassionate Nature Makes them equal, nay, she many times prefers them. I pray resolve me sir, have not you and your mother Had some Suit in Law together lately? Satisfaction? why your Husbands dead, What satisfaction can you make him? O she's straight begotten then. What partly of Spain was he born in? Where is she? And what can you say Gentlewoman? Well. Speak to the purpose, did you ever know them bed together? That was somewhat near to the business; And what, did you help him off with his shoes? Boots were not fit for his journey. Well, and what did he there, In his Tennis-court woollen slippers? Small drink? What's this to the purpose? What age are you of Gentlewoman? Anno seventy one, And Romelio is thirty eight: by that reckoning, You were a Bawd at eight year old: now verily, You fell to the Trade betimes. One question more and I have done: Might not this Crispiano, this Spaniard, Lie with your Mistress at some other time, Either afore or after, then ith absence of her husband? Signior Ariosto, his Majesty of Spain, Confers my Place upon you by this Patent, Which till this urgent hour I have kept From your knowledge: may you thrive in't, noble sir, And do that which but few in our place do, Go to their graven uncurst. I do first intrear, that the eyes of all here present, May be sixth upon this Sirrah, stand you aside, I will talk with you hereafter. Partly for that, but there is other business Of greater consequence. Yes sir. Please you walk apart, I shall acquaint you with particulars Touching your Trading i'th East Indies. Be not too confident you have cause to fear. Well, have your intreaty: (purpose, And if your own credulity undo you, Blame not the Court hereafter: fallen to your Plea. Did you ever find the print of two in the bed? Nor do I look for it sir. It shows a poor malicious eloquence, And it is strange, men of your gravity Will not forgo it: verily, I presume, If you but herd your self speaking with my ears, Your phrase would be more modest. Well then, to your proofs, and be not tedious. No? no contention about parting your goods? No flaw, no unkindness? Bethink your self, this cannot choose but savour Of a woman's malice deeply; and I fear, You're practised upon most devilishly. How happened Gentlewoman, you revealed this no sooner? I should rather ask you, why you reveal it now? Your penitence? Might not your penitence have been as hearty, Though it had never summoned to the Court Such a conflux of people. Most joust. Stay, here's and Accusation, But here's no proof; what was the Spaniards name You accuse of adultery? I knew that Spaniard well: if you be a Bastard, Such a man being your father, I dare vouch you A Gentleman, and in that Signiour Contilupo, Your Oratory went a little too far. When do we name Done John of Austria, The Emperors son, but with reverence: And I have known in diverse Families, The Bastards the greater spirits; but to'th purpose, What time was this Gentleman begotten? And be sure you lay your time right. No? what then, Pumps? Are you certain of that? That's well he never lay with her, But in anno seventy one, let that be remembered. Stand you aside a while. Mistress, the truth is, I knew this Crispiano, lived in Naples At the same time, and loved the Gentleman As my bosom friend; and as I do remember, The Gentleman did leave his Picture with you, If age or neglect have not in so long time ruined it. I pray let me see't, let me see the face I then loved so much to look on. No, no, Gentlewoman, I have other business for you. No, I cannot, for I am made a party. Sir, I am of your counsel, for the cause in hand Was begun at such a time, before you could speak; You had needs therefore have one speak for you. Behold, I am the shadow of this shadow, Age has made me so; take from me forty years, And I was such a Summer fruit as this, At least the Painter Feigned so: for indeed, Painting and Epitaphs are both alike, They slatter us, and say we have been thus: But I am the party here, that stands accused, For Adultery with this woman, in the year Seventy one: now I call you my Lord to witness, Four years before that time, I went to'th Indies, And till this month, did never set my foot since In Europe; and for any former incontinence, She has vowed there was never any: what remains then, But this is a mere practice against her son, And I beseech the Court it may be sifted, And most severely punished. Signior Contilupo, the Court holds it fit, You leave this stale declaiming against the person, And come to the matter. I commend you Lady, There was a main matter of Conscience, How many ills spring from Adultery! First, the supreme Law that is violated, Nobility oft stained with bastardy, Inheritance of Land falsely possessed, The husband! corned, wife shamed, and babes unblest, So, hang it up i'th Court; you have herd, What has been urged gainst Romelio. Now my definitive sentence in this cause, Is, I will give no sentence at all. What needed letters, when 'tis said he lodged in her