TACTUS

The blasting Childhood of the cheerful morn Is almost grown a youth and over-climbes Yonder gilded Eastern hills, about which time, Gustus most earnestly importuned me, To meet him here about, what cause I know not. Sure by the Sun it should be nine a clock. Clear is the Sun and blew the Fi mament, Me thinks the heavens do smile. Whats this? How now? A Crown? And a Robe. 'Tis wondrous rich, would, but sure it is not so, ho, Do I not sleep and dream of this good luck, would. No I am awake and feel it now Whose should it be? Mercury alls mine own, heres none to cry halves mine. Tactus thy sneezing somewhat did pottend, Was ever man so fortunate as I? To break his shins at such a stumbling Block, Roses and Bays pack hence: this Crown and Robe, My Brows and Body circles and invests. How gallantly it fitts me, sure the slave, Measured my head that wrought this Coronet. They lie that say Complexions cannot change: My Blood's , and I am transformed, Unto the sacred temper of a King, Me think I here my noble Parasites Styling me Caesar, or great Alexander, Licking my feet and wondering where I God This precious ointment; how my pace is mended, How princely do I speak, how sharp I threaten: Peasants I'll curb your head strong impudence: And make you tremble when the Lion roates, Yea earthbred woe mes. Oh for a looking glass: Poets will w item whole volumes of this scar, Where's my attendants? Come hither Sirrah quickly. Or by the wings of Her es. — Ay me Olfactus comes, I called too soon, Heel have half partly I fear what shall I do! Where shall I run? how shall I shift him of! Its passed imagination, its so indeed. For this is true, Men life is wondrous brittle. And many have been metamorphosed, To stranger matters and more uncouth fonnes, And yet me thinks, I speak as I was wont And— Olfactus as thou love come not near me, Touch me not least thou chance to break my life. If thou meddle with me I am utterly undone, Let me alone and I'll tell thee, Lately I came from fine Fantasts house. No sooner had I parted out of doors, But up I held my hands before my face: To shield mine eyes from the lights piercing beams, When I protest I saw the Sun as clear, Through these my palms as through a prospective No marvel, for when I beheld my fingers: I saw my fingers near transformed to glass, Opening my breast, my Breast was Like a window, Through which I plainly did perceive my heart: In whose two Concaues I discerned my thoughts, Confus dly lodged in great multitudes. But when I had arrived and set me down, Viewing my self, my self ay me was changed. As thou now seest to a perfect urinal. I do not think so, but I say I am so, Therefore Olfactus come not near I advise you: Olfactus if thou love me get thee gone, I am and urinal I dare not stir. For fear of cracking in the Bottom. Unless thou help me. Go to the City make a Case fit for me. Stuff it with wool, then come again and fetch. I care not, so it must be, or I cannot stir. Speak not so loud, the sounds enough to crack me, What is he gone? I and Urinal, would, would, would, I protest I might have had my face washed finely, if he had meant to abuse me: I and Urinal, would, would, would, go to Urinal you have escaped a fair scou king, well I'll away, and get me to mine own house, there I'll lock up my self fast, playing the Chemic, augmenting this one Crown to troops of Angels, with which gold-winged mes sengers, I mean, To work great wonders, as to built and purchase, Fare daintily, tie up men's tongues, and lose them, Command their lives, their goods, their liberties, And captive all the world with chains of gold, Heigh, heigh, tery linkum tinkum. Oh Hercules! Fortune the Queen, delights to play with me, Stopping my passage with the sighed of Visus, But as he makes hither. I'll make hence, Theres more ways to the wood then one. What more Devils to affright me? Oh Diabolo, Gustus comes here to vex me. So that I poor wretch, am Like a Shittle-cock betwixt two Battledores If I run there, Visus beats me to Scylla, If here, then Gustus blows me to Carybdi . Neptune hath sworn my hope shall suffer shipwreck. What shall I say? Mine Urinal's too thin to bide the fury of such stormcs as these. Shall I? wilt prove? would? well it's best to venture. Perchance so, a sudden lie hath best luck. Stand back I charge you as you love your lives, By Stix, the first that touches me shall die. Kill you? not I, but come not near me you had best. Friends as you love your lives, Venture not once to come within my reach. I do not threaten, but in pure love advise you for the best, Dare no to to touch me but hence fly a pace, Add wings unto your feet and save your lives. If you will needs jeopard your live; so long, As hear the round of my amazedness, Then for your better safety stand aside. How rash is man on bidden arms to rush. It was my chance, Oh chance most miserable, To walk that way that to Crumena leads. I say Crumena, called Vacuam, A Town which does, and always hath belonged, Chiefly to Scholars: from Crumena walls, I saw a man came stealing craftily, Appareled in this vesture which I wear, But seeing me eftsoons, he took his heals, And threw his garment from him all in hast, Which I perceiving to be richly wrought, Took it me up: But good now get you gone, Warned by my harms, and escape my misery. No gentle Gustus, your absence is the only thing I wish, Least I infect you with my company. A thousand thanks, but since I needs must die, Let it suffice, death only murders me, O 'twould augment the dolour of my death, To know my self the most unhappy Bow, Through which pale death should aim his shafts at you. Peace, peace, faith peace, come hither, hark thee good now. Oh do not, do not, do not, come hither, will you be a fool? Will half content you, pish 'twill never be known. No such matter I Like the Egyptian Knights, For the more state, will be buried in them. What will you take my purse from me? Next after me, I as your self at any time: beside I found it first, therefore 'tis mine. I'll make you late repent it— I undertake the Challenge, and heres my hand, In sign thou shalt be answered. Give me your hand I Like the motion. I accept it most gratefully at your joust hands, and will wear it in the deer remembrance of your good Lordship. 'Tis a good shirt, it fitt's me passing well, 'Tis very warm indeed, but whats the matter. Me thinks I am somewhat hotter then I was, My heart beats faster then it wont to do My brains inflamed, my temples ache extremely, o, o, O what a wildfire creeps among my bowels: A tna's with in my breast, my marrow f ies, And unes about my bones, o my sides: My sides, my reins, my head my reins, my head; My heart, my heart, my liver, my liver, o, I burn, I burn, I burn o how I burn: With scorching heat of implacable fire, I burn extreme with flames unsufferable, Is it this shirt that boils me thus? o heavens, It fires me worse, and heats more furiously Then loves dire thunderbolts; o miserable, They bide less pain that bath in Phlegeton; Could not the triple kingdom of the world, Heaven, earth and hell destroy great Hercul ? Could not the damned sprights of hateful Inno? Nor the great dangers of my labours kill me? Am I the mighty son of inp er? And shall this poisoned linen thus consume me? Shall I be burned? villains S j up to heaven, Bid m ster up a troop of clouds, And shower down cata acts of rain to cool me? Or elce I'll break her speckled bo e in pieces? Will e not? no she hates me Like her mistress; Why then descend you rogues to the vile deep, F changed. hither charge him bring the sea, To quenc these flames, or else the world's fair frame: Will be in greater danger to be burned, Then when proud Phaeton ruled the Suns rich Chariot. What Vulcan's this that offers to enchain, A greater soldier then the God of Mars. High thoughts have slippery feet, I had well ni fallen. A Crown and a Robe. Jupiter, Jupiter how came this here? No sooner had I put it on my back, But suddenly mine eyes began to dim, My joints uva e soar, and all my body burn With most intestiue torture, and at length, It was too evident, I had caught the plague. Go make my Tomb, provide my funerals, would, would, would, would, would, would, Excellent Asses thus to be deluded, Bewail his death and cruel destinies, That lives, and laughs your fooleries to scorn, But where's my Crown, o here: I well deserve, Thus to be crowned for two great victories would, would, would, Visus take care my corpse be well interred: Go make my tomb, and write upon the stone. Here lies the Sense, that lying gulled them all, With a false plague, and feigned Urinal. Oh Jupiter, it's Auditus all's marred, I doubt the sly knave heres so far, but yet I'll grope him: how now Eam es, what make you here, would? A plague on you what I? Oh I had well nigh forgotten nothing, but I say— True, true, I made my self merry with this Epitaph, upon such a fools tomb thus a, thus, thus, plague brought this man, (foh I have forgotten) o thus, plague brought this man (so, so, so) unto his burial, because, because, because, (hem, hem) because he would not buy and urinal, come, come Auditus shall we here thee play, the Lyeroway, or the Lut -uva shall we, or the Cornet, or any Music, I am greatly revived when I hear. Ready anon forsooth? the Devil she will, Who would be toiled with wenches in a show. My Lord I had thought as other Senses did, By sighed of objects to have proved my worth; Wherefore considering that of all the things, That please me most, women are counted chief. 1 page duplicate 1 page duplicate I had thought to have represented in my show, The Queen of pleasure, Venus and her Son, Leading a Gentleman enamored, With his sweet touching of his Mistress lips, And gentle gripping of her tender hands, And vers pleasant relishes of touch, Yet all contained in the bounds of chastity. Thus it's, iue hours ago I set a dozen maids to attire a boy Like a nize Gentlewoman: but there is such doing with their looking-glasses, pinning, unpinning, setting, unsetting, formings and conformings painting blue veins, and cheeks, such st rre with Sticks and Combes, Cascanets, Dressings, Purles, Falls, Squares, Busks, Bodies, Scarffes, Neck laces, Car canets, Rebates, Borders, Tires, Fans, Palisades, Puffs, Ruffs, Cuffs, Muffs, Pussles, Fussles, Partsets, Frislets, Bandlets, F lets, Croslets, Pendulets, Amulets, Amulets, Bracelets, and so many lets, that you: she is scarce dressed to the girdle: and now there's such calling for Farthingales, Kirtlets, Busk-points, shoo ties &c. that seven Pedlars shops, nay all Sturbridge Fair will scarce furnish her: a Ship is sooner rigged by far, then a Gentle woman made ready. The instrument of instruments, the hand, Courtesies index, Chamberlane to Nature, The bodies Soldier, and mouths Caterer, Psyches great Secretary, the dumbs eloquence, The blindmans Candle, and his foreheads Buckler, The minister of wrath, and friendships sign, This is my instrument: nevertheless my power Extends it self, far as our Q eene commands, Through all the parts and climes of Microcosm. I am the root of life, spreading my virtue By sinews that extend from head to foot, To every living partly. For as a subtle Spider closely sitting, In centre of her web that spreadeth round: If the least Fly but touch the smallest thread, She feels it instantly; so does my self, Casting my slender nerve and sundry nets, Over very particle of all the body, By proper I kill perceive the difference, Of several qualities, hight, cold, moist and dry; Hard, soft, rough, smooth, clammy and slippery. Sweet pleasure, and sharp pain profitable, That makes us wounded seek for remedy: By these means do I teach the Body fly, From such bade things as may endanger it: A wall of brasle can be no more defence, Unto a town then I to Microcosm? Tell me what sense is not beholding to me, The nose is hight or cold, the cies do weep: The ears do feel, the tastes' a kind of touching, That when I please, I can command them all, And make them tremble when I threaten them: I am the eldest, and biggest of all the rest, The chiefest note, and first distinction, Betwixt a living tree and living beast; For though one hear, and see: and smell: and taste If he wants touch, he is counted but a block? Therefore my Lord grant me the royalty: Of whom there is such great necessity. Have I not here the great and puissant Club, Where with I conquered three Chopped Cerberus. And are not these Alcides brawny arms, That rend the Lyons jaws and killed the boar? Did nor I crop the sevenfold Hydras crest, And with a river cleansed Augeas stable? Did not these feet and hands oretake and slay, The nimble Stag, and fierce impetuous bull? hall Hercules be thus difparaged? I no! you pouting. Quean, you low ng trull? Take heed I take you not; for by Jove's thunder I le be revenged Who have we here, see, see the Giant Cacus, Draws and Ox backward to his thievish den, Hath this devise so long deluded me? Monster of men Cacus restore my cattle, Or instantly I'll crush thy idle Coxcomb. And dash thy doltish brains against thy Cave. Art Appetitus? Th'art so; run quickly villain. Fetch a whole Ox to satissie my stomach. Then down to Hell, tell Pluto Prince of Devils, That great All des want's a kitchen wench. To turn his spit, command h m from my self! To send up Proserpine shee' serve the turn. Follow the beaten path thou canst not miss it 'Tis a wide Causy that conducteth thither, And easy tract and down hill all the way, But f the black Prince will not send her quickly, But still detain her for his bedfellow, Tell him I'll drag him from his iron chair, By the steel tres es, and then sow him fast, With the three furies in a letherne bag. And thus will drown them in the Ocean. Act thou not gone, nay then isle send thy soul, Before thee, it'll do thy message sooner (tiff, tiff.) 'Tis she indeed I know her sug ed voice? Omphale deer Command resse of my life My thoughts repose, sweet Centre of my cares Where all my Hope's, and best desires take rest. Lo! where the mighty Son of Jupiter Throws himself Capture at your conquering feet Do not disdain my voluntary humbleness. Accept my service, bless me with commanding, I will perform the hardest imposition And run through twelve new labours for thy sake, Omphale deer ommandresse of my life. Where is she gone, that I may follow her? Omphal stay, stay, take thy Hercules! Thanks Dei neira for thy kind remembrance, 'Tis a fair shirt I'll wear it for thy sake. O, o, o, I am stabbed, I am stabbed, hold your hand, o, o, o. Put on man, put on, keep your head warm, it's cold. Oh the cramp, the cramp, the cramp, my leg, my leg. Would, would, would, fie, I pray you leave, you tickle me so, o, ah, would, would, take away your hands I cannot endure, ah you tickle me, ah, would, would, would, ah. O, you stab me, o, No my Lord, not I, this I remember, We sup't with Gustus, and had wine good store, Where of I think I tasted liberally. Amongst the rest, we drunk a composition, Of a most delicate, and pleasant relish, That made our brains, somewhat irregular. My Lord, she hath a vild boy to her page, a chief agent in this treason, his name's Mendatio. That if a man (do you mark sir) being sick of the plague (do you see sir) had a a, a, hem, hem, (this cold troubles me, It makes me cough sometime extremely,) had a French Crown, (sir you understand me) lying by him, and (come hither, come hither) & would not bestow 2. pence (do you hear) to buy and v rinall (do you mark me) to carry his water to the Physician ̄ , (hem) I say such a one was a very Ass, this was all I use to speak to my self, when ̄ I am alone; but Auditus, when shall we hear a new set of singing-books, or viols, or the continued ̄ word of Instrume ̄ ts.