PANDOLFO

Cricca, I seek thy aid, not thy cross counsel, I am mad in love with Flaviam, and must have her: Thou spendest thy reasons to the contrary, Like arrows against and Anvil: I love Flaviam, And must have Flaviam. I have no reason, nor spare room for any, Love's herbinger hath chalk't upon my heart, And with a coal writ on my brain, for Flaviam ; This house is wholly taken up for Flaviam. Let reason get a lodging with her wit: Vex me no more, I must have Flaviam. His father, ere he went to Barbary, Promised her me: who be he live or dead, Spite of a Last of Lelio's Pandolfo Shall enjoy Flaviam. I must confess in years about three score, But in tuff strength of body, four and twenty, Or two months less. Love of young Flaviam, More powerful then Medea's drug, renew's All decayed parts of man: my Arteries Blown full with youthful spirits, move the blood To a new business: my withered Nerve's grow plump And strong, longing for Actium. Hence thou poor prop Of feebleness and age: walk with such sire's As with cold palsies shake away their strength, And lose their legs with cureless gouts. Pandolfo New moulded is for Revels, Masks, and Music. Cricca, String my neglected Lute, and from my Armoury Skowre my best sword, companion of my youth, Without which I seem naked. What me? a man of known discretion, Of riches, years, and this grey gravity? I'll satisfy'r with gold, rich clothes and jewels. Cricca be gone, Touch no more there: I will and must have Flaviam. Tell Lelio, if he grant m'his sister Flaviam, I'll give my daughter to him in exchange. Be gone, and find me here within this half hour. Sure this some novice of artillery, That wink's and shoots: sir, prime your piece anew The powder's wet: tick. tock. tick. tock. Why frantic? are not knocks the lawful courses T'open doors and ears? Whose lodging's this? is't not th'Astrologers? Good sir, If the door break, a better shall redeem it. Why man? what harm: What of all this? Are you your Master's Countryman? Then must I get and Interpreter for your language. When may I speak with him? What's this I pray you? Pray you speak English. Wonderful workman of so rare and Instrument! Let me see too. In London. Yes. Wonders, wonders: I see as in a Land-shap And honourable throng of noble persons, As clear as I were under the same roof. Seems by their gracious brows, and courteous looks Something they see, which if to b'indifferent They'll fau'rably accept: if otherwise They'll pardon, who, or what they be, I know not. A Hall thrust full of bare-heads, some bald, some bushed, Some bravely branched. Who? I see Dover Peer, a man now landing Attended by two Porters that seem to groan Under the burden of two loads of paper. The price. And may I see it sir? bless me once more. A humming noise of laughter. Celestial music, but it seems far off. List, list, 'tis nearer now. Nothing. Music again, and strangely delicate. Oh most Angelical! they sing! It's gone, give mee't again.— Oh do not so. No more then a dead Oyster. Oh let me see this wondrous instrument. A Cousticon? Why it's a pair of Asses ears, and large ones. What gold will buy't? Soon as you can, and here's ten crowns in earnest. For when it's done, and I have purchased it, I mean t'intail't on my heirs male for ever, Spite of the ruptures of the common law. Hang Lelio, and his answer's. Come hither Cricca, Wonder for me, admire, and be astonished, Marvel thy self to Marble at these engines, These strange Gorgonian instruments. At this rare Perspicill and Otacousticon. For with these two Il'e hear and see all secrets, Undo intelligencers. Pray let my man see What's done in Room; his eyes are joust as your's are. Enough. What news from Lelio? shall I have his sister? Not have his sister? Cricca I will have Flaviam, Maugre his head by means of this Astrologer I'll enjoy Flaviam. Are the stars yet inclined To his divine approach? The learned man I told thee, That high Almanac of Germany, and Indian Far beyond Trebesond and Tripoli, Close by the world's end: a rare Conjurer, And great Astrologer. His name, pray sir? As he excels in Science, so in Title. He tells of lost plate, horses, and strayed cattle Directly, as he had stolen them all himself. As thou respects thy life, look to thy tongue, Albumazar has and Otacousticon. Be silent, reverent, and admire his skill, See what a promising countenance appears: Stand still and wonder, wonder and stand still. My marriage Cricca! he foresee's my marriage: Oh most Celestial Albumazar! Upon my life he proves a mere Impostor. Peace, not a word, be silent and admire. Were't not much trouble to your starry employments, I a poor mortal would entreat your furtherance In a terrestrial business. Yes sir: Oh strange! Cricca admire in silence. Just as you say't. Cricca admire and wonder. Hast thou revealed it? I told it none but thee. Why stare you? Are you not well? Peace fool: these words are full of mysteries. He is my servant, A plain and honest speaker, but no harm in him. What is he dead? What ails thee Cricca? Why, where art hurt? Here's not a wound, stand up, It's but thy fear. Th'art well, th'art well. Now to our business: on good Albumazar. Is't certain? Then let my earnestness Entreat your skill a favour. That, that, y'haue hit it most divine Albumazar. So I may have my purpose, spare for no cost. Most Necromantical Astrologer, Do this, and take me for your servant ever. And for your pains, after the transformation This chain is your's, it cost two hundred pound Beside the jewel. How? mean you me? Cricca come hither, fetch me my staff again, Threescore and ten's returned: A general Palsy Shakes out the love of Flaviam with a fear. Is there no remedy? You with your wisdom, good Albumazar. You bind me to your service. I will not fail to find you. I rest your servant, sir. Here's a strange man indeed, of skill profound: How right he knew my business, before he saw me, And how thou skoft's him when we talked in private. 'Tis a brave instrument his Otacousticon. Is there no arches over our heads, look Cricca. Is not that made of Marble? I have read A stone dropped from the Moon: And much I fear The fit should take her now, and void and other. I do, let's in. CRicca deny's me; no persuasions, Proffers, rewards, can work him to transform. Yonder's my Country Farmer Trincalo. Never in sitter time good Trincalo. What rend dost pay me for thy Farm at Totnam? My hand here: take it rent-free for three lives, To serve me in a business I'll employ thee. Here's and Astrologer has a wondrous secret To transform men to other shapes, and persons. Now if thou'lt let him change thee, take this Lease; Drawn ready; put what lives thou pleasest. Thou, Thou. The resemblance last's but one whole day: Then home true Farmer, as thou were't before. Tell me the difference Betwixt a fool and wise man. A wise man Accept's all fair occasions of advancement, Fly's no commodity for fears of danger, Venter's and gains, lives easily, drinks good wine, Fare's neatly, is richly clothed, in worthiest company; While your poor fool and Clown, for fear of peril, Sweat's hourly for a dry brown crust to bedward, And wake's all night for want of moisture. It's not so dangerous as thou takest it; we'll only Altar thy countenance for a day. Imagine Thy face masked only: or that thou dreamest all night Thou were't appareled in Antonio's form, And waking findest thy self true Trincalo. Yes, and my neighbour, that's his house. Ther's no such business, thou shall't only seem so And thus deceive Antonio's family. Enter his house, be reverenced by his servants, And give his daughter Flaviam to me in marriage. The circumstances I'll instruct thee after. Content, and for thy sake will make her portion Two hundred Crowns. How? Thank's to your power and curtsy that so placed them. This is the man that's ready for the business. Pray let's about the work as soon as may be. I have a parler Of a great square and height, as you desire it. This room's as fit as you had made't of purpose. Go to my house, satisfy your curious choice, But credit me, this parler's fit, it neighbours To a blind Alley, that in busiest termtime Feels not the footing of one passenger. Deeply considered wondrous Albumazar : Oh let me kiss those lips that flow with science. It's true. Sir, for rich plate and jewels I have store, But know not how to furnish you with hangings. That can I easily do. All shall be done with expedition. My hand: my deeds shall wait upon my promise. I go sir. Trincalo attend us here, And not a word on peril of thy life. All shall be ready sir, as you command it. Th'are in my table-book. Here take this ring, deliver it to my brother, And officer in the Wardrobe, he'll furnish you With robes and clothes of any stuff, or fashion. I kiss your hands divine Astrologer. UP quickly Trincalo to my child Sulpitia, Bid her lay out my fairest Damask Tableclothes. The fairest Holland sheets, all silver plate, Two gossips cups of gold: my greatest Diamonds: Make hast. This is that blessed day I so much longed for: Four hours attendance till my man be changed, Fast locks me in the lovely arms of Flaviam. Away Trincalo. How slow the day slides on! When we desire Times hast, it seems to lose a match with Lobsters, And when we wish him stay, he imp's his wings With feathers plumed with thought. Why Trincalo! Come let's away for cloth of silver, Wine and materials for the Sacrifice. WHile the Astrologer hew's out Trincalo, Squaring and framing him to Antonio, Cricca I'll make thee partner of a thought That some thing troubles me. I have no heart to give Albumazar The chain I promised him. It comes to a hundred pounds. And how would that well husbanded grow in time? I was a fool to promise, I confess it, I was too hight and forward in the business. My covetous thrift aims at no other mark Then in fit time and place to show my bounty. Who gives continually, may want at length Wherewith to feed his liberality. But for the love of my deer Flaviam I would not spare my life, much less my treasure. Yet if with honour I can win her cheaper, Why should I cast away so great sum? I would gladly do it, But fear he understands us what we say. But if we be discovered! For by his instruments and familiars He can do much. I'll fetch a cry from bottom of my heals But I'll roar loud enough; and thou must second me With wonder at the sudden accident. No more, no more, he comes. Help, help, thieves, thieves, neighbours I am robbed, Have I not reason That thus am robbed, thieves, thieves, call Constables, The Watch, and Sergeants. Friends and Constables, Neighbours I am undone. Cricca my chamber's spoiled Of all my hangings, clothes, and silver plate. Lay all the Goldsmiths, Keepers, Marshals, Baylives. Thieves, thieves, thieves! All that I had is gone, and more then all. I can cry no longer, My throat's soar, I am robbed, I am robbed, al's gone. Both my own treasure, and the things I borrowed. Make thou and outcry, I have lost my voice: Cry fire, and then they'll hear thee. Wine, Jewels, Tableclothes, A cupboard of rich plate. Villain, I say al's gone; The room's as clean As a wiped Lookingglass: ôj me, ôj me. The window towards the South stand's open, from whence Went all my treasure. Where's th'Astrologer? In vain Albumazar ? I left my plate with you, and it's all vanished, And you shall answer it. Albumazar, I pray you pardon me, Th'vnlook'd-for bareness of the room amazed me. Content. Let's still go Westward, Westward good Cricca, still directly Westward. WHat means this noise? o Cricca! what's the matter? Th'right eye's no liker to the left, then he To my good neighbour. Divine Albumazar ! How I admire thy skill! joust so he look't, And thus he walked; this is his face, his hair, His eyes, and countenance; If his voice be Like Then is th'Astrologer a wonder-worker. Well, well, sir. No more, this taste Prove's thou canst play the rest. For this fair story My hand I make thy ten pound, twenty Marks. Thou lookest and speakest so Like Antonio. But now my honest Trincalo, Tell me, where's all the Plate, the gold, and Jewels, That the Astrologer, when he had transformed thee Committed to thy charge? are they safe locked? The jewels man, The Plate and gold th'Astrologer that changed thee Bade thee lay up? Humour of wiving's gone: farewell good Flaviam, Three thousand pound must not be lost so slightly. Come sir, we'll drag you to th'Astrologer, And turn you to your ragged bark of Yeomanry. Come I'll not lose my Plate. Thy counsel's good: Away. I long to know How my good Farmer speeds; how Trincalo Hath be received by Lelio. This haft of Cricca Abodes some good; doubtless my Trincalo, Received for Antonio, hath given me Flaviam. Cricca? Turn hither, Cricca: Cricca, Seest me not? What news of him? On. Quickly good Cricca! What? And then? It's here, it's here, within. All outward symptoms And characters of joy, are poor expressions Of my great inward happiness: my heart's full, And cannot vent the passion. Run Cricca, run, Run, as thou lovest me, call Eugenio, And work him to my purpose thou canst do it. Haste, call him instantly. Well met Antonio, my prayers and wishes Have waited on you ever. He'll wait upon you presently. It's well remembered. Eugenio, call your sister. It's o'th further side All expectation. It's most admirable: Were't he himself that spoke, he could not better't. And for thy sake, I wish Antonio's shape May ever be thy house, and's wit thy Inmate. But where my plate, and cloth of silver? Good! excellent! I most of all. And, for I know the minds Of youth are apt to promise, and as prove To repent after; it's my advice they swear T'obserue, without exception, your decree. By all the powers that hear Oaths, and rain vengeance upon broken faith, I promise to confirm and ratify Your sentence. Now deer Antonio, all our expectation Hangs at your mouth: None of us can appeal From you to higher Courts. It's done. Some relics Of his old Clownery, and dregs o'th Country, Dwell in him still: how careful he provides For himself first! Content. And more, I grant him A lease of twenty pounds a year. How cunningly the Farmer hath provided T'obserue the semblance of Antonio's person, And keep himself still free for Armellina! To what purpose, pray the Serves this long proaeme? on to sentence. Wrack me no more: pray you let's hear the sentence. Note how the Ass would fright me, and endear His service; intimating, that his power May overthrow my Hope's. Proceed to sentence. Treacherous villain! Accursed Trincalo! I'll— But this no place, He's too well backed. But shortly when the date Of his Antonioship's expired, revenge Shall sweeten this disgrace. I thank you sir. Oh Precious piece of villainy! are you unchanged? How confident the rogue dares walk the streets! Tiff. toff. Base treacherous villain! toff. toff. toff. You marry me to patience? there's patience. And that you freeze not, there's warm patience, She's a good bedfellow; have patience. So, as deserves th'expression of my fury With cruelest tortures I can execute. Have patience. Seek not by humble penitence t'appease me. Nothing can satisfy. Darest deny Thy own act done before so many witnesses? Suborned by others, and betray my confidence With such a stony impudence? To them; not me. Oh what a Proaeme stuffed with graven advice, And learned counsel, you could shower upon me Before the thunder of your deadly sentence! And give away my Mistress with a scoff! Didst not thou swear t'enter Antonio's house, And give me Flaviam for my wife? and after, Before my own face, gavest her to my son? Is not this true? Was't not thus? How have I been deceived! good Trincalo Pardon me. I have wronged thee. I am sorry for't; excuse me. Now tell me where's the plate and cloth of silver, The gold and jewels that th'Astrologer Committed to thy keeping? Ojh me? ojh me! I am undone, I have lost my Love, my plate, My whole estate, and with the rest my self. It's to small purpose. In, and hold thy peace. Cricca, my sadness is uncapable Of better tidings: I am undone most miserable! May be Antonio newly repents himself, With purpose to restore my Flaviam. Cricca, what is't? where's all this happiness? All alone? Sure that's my Flaviam. Is not Eugenio Suffered to enter? Oh my sweet Cricca ! Is't possible they should so soon repent them? That injured me so lately? tell me the manner That caused them see their error. How can this Story touch my happiness? What of all this? is't possible a Constable Concerns my good? Well, what then? Nothing What dead & speakest? Strange! Art resolved? 'Thas be and Aireloome to our house four hundredth years, And should I leave it now, I fear good fortune Would sly from us, and follow it. What is't good Cricca? Fool in accursed earnest. WIsely considered Trincalo : it's a fair prologue To the Comedy ensuing. Now I confess Albumazar had equal power to change, And mend thy understanding with thy body. Let me embrace and hug thee for this service. It's a brave onset: ah my sweet Trincalo! They come: keep state, keep state, or al's discovered. Didst not thou decree Contrary t'our compact, against my marriage? Just now, here. Canst thou deny't? Answer me. Oi me! what's this? Was't not thou That gavest the sentence? I thought th'hadst spoken Of Flavia's restoring. Reason hath cleared my sighed, and drawn the veil Of dotage that so darked my understanding. I clearly see the slavery of affections; And how unsuitable my declining years Are for the dawning youth of Flaviam. Let the best joys of Hymen compass her, And her young husband, my Eugenio, With full content. And since Albumazar By accident, caused all this happiness; I freely pardon him, and his companions: And hast assist the marriages and feasts. HOw shall I recompense this Astrologer? This great Albumazar ? through whose learned hands, Fortune hath poured effect of my best wishes, And crowned my Hope's. Give him this chain? alas! It's a poor thanks, short by a thousand links Of his large merit. No, he must live with me, And my sweet Flaviam, at his ease and pleasure, Wanting for nothing. And this very night I'll get a boy, and he erect a figure To calculate his Fortune's. So there's Trincalo Antoniated, or Antonio Intrinculate. ANd that you freeze not for a bedfellow, I marry you with Patience. Traitorous villain! Is't not enough to wrong me, and betray me, But it must be done with scoffs? accursed Trincalo! And me most miserable! that when I thought Embrace young Flaviam, see her before my face Bestowed upon my son! my son my rival! This is Eugenio's plot, and his friend Lelio's ; Who, with my servant Cricca, have conspired, And suborned Trincalo to betray his master. Why do I rage against any but my self, That have committed such a serious business To hands of a base clown, and ignorant? I see mine error, but no means to help it. Only the sweetness of revenge is left me, Which I must execute: hours of's gentry Are now clean spent. I'll home, and there attend him. Forward.