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Full speech
Albumazar, Spread out thy nets at large, here's fowl abundance: Pandolfo's ours, I understand his business Which I filched closely from him, while he revealed His man, his purposes and projects. And thus, and thus, and thus. Yes sir. Come do thy worst, thrust sure, or die. And what will you do? Nor cover of a Trencher-salt. The Spartans held it lawful, and th'Arabians, So grew Arabia, Happy: Sparta, Valiant. Fell Perspicils, and Instruments of hearing, Turn Clowns to Gentlemen, Buzzards to Falcons, Cur-dogs to Greyhouds, Kitchenmaids to Ladies. Believe none, credit none: for in this City No dwellers are, but Cheaters, and Cheateez. Saturn was in Ascension. Mercury Was then Combust when you delivered it. It'll never be restored. Search your Nativity: see if the Fortunates And Luminaries be in a good Aspect. And thank us for thy life. Had we done well, We had cut thy throat ever this.
Plot summary
Plot — Albumazar
The neighbours Pandolfo and Antonio, both widowers, have arranged to marry each other’s daughters; but before they can do so, Antonio is lost and presumed dead on an overseas voyage, and the plan goes into abeyance because his son Lelio disapproves of Pandolfo as a potential brother-in-law. Albumazar’s accomplice Furbo has gained access to Pandolfo’s household, posing as his daughter’s tutor, and has learned of his .- amorous aspirations, and also his credulity about. magic and astrology. Albumazar plans to trick him, and sets about demonstrating his occult power. Ronca shows Pandolfo some of the astrologer’s amazing inventions: a telescope and an ‘otacousticon’ (actually a pair of ass’s ears) which allow him to see and hear things at a distance. Albumazar then predicts Pandolfo’s marriage, and also a stabbing which his associates then enact in a brawl. Pandolfo asks the astrologer to raise Antonio’s ghost, but instead Albumazar undertakes to transform the tenant farmer Trincalo into Antonio’s likeness for one day, so that he can give Flavia in marriage to Pandolfo. Trincalo agrees because this will give him access to Antonio’s household, and therefore to the maid Armellina, whom he loves. Pandolfo is required to prepare a room for the metamorphosis, laid out with valuable possessions. When he begins to have second thoughts about paying Albumazar, his servant Cricca suggests that he should pretend to have been robbed of his valuables; but when they are indeed stolen, Albumazar pretends in turn that the transformed Trincalo has just locked them away for safe keeping. After undergoing the fake metamorphosis, Trincalo is told he may not look at himself in a mirror for fear of breaking the spell. Ronca and Harpax greet him as Antonio, and pretend to be his debtor and creditor respectively, but Trincalo pays Harpax less than he was ===== PAGE 445 ===== 1615 given by Ronca, who has to steal back the balance. To buy time to spirit away Pandolfo’s goods, the tricksters divert him with Bevilona the courtesan, who pretends to be a gentlewoman in love with Antonio, and hides him from her husband. The real Antonio returns unexpectedly, and is taken for the transformed Trincalo: he does not understand when Pandolfo asks after his missing property, and his son and daughter, forewarned of the planned trick, beat him out of his own house. He meets Trincalo, who is still posing as him, and a duel is proposed. Lelio and Cricca realize the truth when they see the two men…