CRICCA

Sir you have no reason, She's a young girl of sixteen, you of sixty. At what? He swears and vows he never will consent. She shall not play with worn antiquities, Nor lie with snow, and statues; and such replies That I omit for reverence of your worship. What Strologer? A name of force to hang him without trial. Or he, or some of his confederates. And sends y'a present from the head of Aries. Pray you stand here, and wonder now for me, Be astonished at his Gorgon, for I cannot. This no such secret: look to your self, he'll cheat you. Not I. Mean ostentation! for shame awake your self. It's and ill time to marry. The Moon grows fork't, and walks with Capricorn. What see you in my face? Sir, pray give no credit to this cheater, Or with his words of Art he'll make you dote As much on his feigned skill, as on fair Flaviam. Master I die, I die. Ooh! I am dead, I am dead, Trouble your self no more. Stabbed with a thousand daggers, My heart, my lights, my liver, and my skin, Pierced Like a sive. A Chirurgeon, good sir, a Surgeon. Now I perceive I am: I pray you pardon me Divine Astrologer. None but the Arch of heaven, that cannot fallen. Fear nothing sir, this charmed Mercurial cap Shields from the fallen of Mountains: it's not a stone Can check his Art, walk boldly. What in such serious meditations? What is't? My Master's secret? keep it good Farmer, keep it, I would not lend and ear to't if thou'dst hire me. Farewell. Adieu good Trincalo, the secrets of our betters Are dangerous, I dare not know't. Yes: but I had rather want it. Adieu. No danger? cut thy finger and that pains thee; Then what wil't do to shred and mince thy carcase, Bury't in horse-dung, mould it new, and turn it to Antonio ? and when th'art changed, if Lelio Smell out your plot, what world's of punishment Thou must endure, poor Trincalo! The desire Of gains abuses thee: be not transformed. Yonder they come, I'll hence and hast to Lelio. Under the veil and colour of Astrology, He clouds his hellish skill in Necromancy. Believe it, by some Art, or false imposture, He'll much disturb your love, and yours, Eugenio. You must trust in Fortune That make's or marr's the wisest purposes. Here's no great needs of thinking Not speech; the oil of scorpions cure's their poison. The thing it self that's bent to hurt and hinder you Offer's a remedy: it's no sooner known But worst on't is prevented. Soon as you see this false Antonio Come near your doors with speeches made of purpose, Full of humility and compassion: With long narrations how he scaped from shipwreck And other feigned inventions of his dangers: Bid him be gone; and if he press to enter, Fear not the reverence of your father's looks, Cudgel him thence. Commend it t'her your self. Marked you not, while We talked how through the window she attended, And fed her eyes on you? there she's. Say, sir, what is't? Deliver it me And I'll present it to him in your name. Then give him The price in gold. True: I have a trick now hatching in my brain How you may handsomely preserve your credit, And save the chain. What can you lose to try't, if it take There's so much saved, if otherwise, nothing lost. Lay all the fault on Trincalo. But here's the main point. If you can dissemble Cunningly, and frame your countenance to express Pity and anger, that so learned a man Should use his friend so basely: If you can call And outcry well, roar high, and terrible But yours is the main partly, for as you play't You win or lose the chain. Pray you sir How long shall he retain this metamorphosis? A natural day? Are any days unnatural? What a noise make you sir? This well begun So he hold out still with a higher strain. What ails you sir? WHat do I see? Is not this Trincalo Transformed to Antonio ? it's: and so perfectly That did the right Antonio now confront him, I'de swear they both were true, or both were false. He seem's so joust the man he represent's, That I dare hardly use him as I purposed. Your friend Pandolfo ? How are your means improved; To style familiarly your Master friend? That I rejoice your Worship's safe returned From your late drowning. Th'Exchange hath given you lost. And all your friends worn mourning three months passed. Would, would, would, through what a grace And goodly countenance, the Rascal speaks? What a graven portance? Could Antonio Himself outdo him? o you notorious villain! Who would have thought thou couldst have thus dissembled? As though I understood not, The end of all this plot and goodly business? Come I know all, see! this untiled clod of earth Conceits his mind transformed, as well as body. He wrings and bites his lips for fear of laughing. Would, would, would! Sirrah, to see thee changed So strangely, that I can not spy one inch Of thy old Clownish Carcase. Would, would. Would, would, would. Sententious Blockhead! Is't possible this. Coxcomb should conceive His mind transformed? How gravely he continues The countenance he began? Would, would. Why blockhead? Thinkest to deceive me too? Why Trincalo ? Art not thou Trincalo, Pandolfo's man? Darest thou denie't to me? This is a good beginning, How naturally the rogue dissembles it? With what a gentle garb, and civil grace He speak's and looks: How cunningly Albumazar Hath for our purpose suited him in Barbary clothes. I'll try him fur there: Sir, We herd you were drowned, pray you, how scaped you shipwreck? Good still Leave of Antonio now, and speak Like Trincalo. Stay, sir, and take my counsel. Let him still Firmly conceit himself the man he seem's: Thus he himself deceived, will far more earnestly Effect your business, and deceive the rest. There's a main difference betwixt a self-bred Actium And a forced carriage. Suffer him then to enter Antonio's house: and wait th'euent: for him He cannot escape: What you intend to do, Do't when has served your turn. I see the Maid, Let's hence least they suspect our consultations. Fool! who loves Armellina ? Antonio never loved his kitchenmaid. Note the strange power of strong imagination. It can not choose but take. I know his humour; And can at pleasure feather him with Hope's, Making him fly what pitch I wish, and stoop When I show fowl. I'll throw them over your garden wall. Away. Hast to Eugenio, and Sulpitia, Acquaint them with the business. Neither in Paul's, at home, nor in th'Exchange? Nor where he uses to converse? he's lost: And must be cried. Sir, the news, and hast to tell it, Had almost blinded me. It's so fortunate, I dare not pour it all at once upon you, Least you should faint and swoon away with joy. Your transformed Trincalo - WHere shall I find my Master to content him With welcome news? He's here; news! news! News of good fortune, joy and happiness! These were th'Astrologers intelligences. That robbed you through south window. I mean your plate And treasure; pray you, sir, is't not great happiness To reobtain three thousand pounds in value, Desperately lost? and you still dote and dream Of Flaviam, who by your own consent And oath is promised to your son Eugeni ? Why now you show your self a worthy Gentleman. Come in. But sir, her brother Lelio, under whose charge She's now, after her father's death, sware boldly Pandolfo never shall have Flaviam. Sir you're too old. Your love, sir, Like strong water To a deplored sick man, quick's your feeble limbs For a poor moment. But after one night's lodging You'll fallen so dull and cold, that Flaviam Will shriek and leap from bed as from a Sepulchre. Shall I speak plainer, sir? Shee'l Cuckold you: Alas shee'le Cuckold you. Wertenberg not far fitter urge your son Eugenio To woo her for himself? Sir, I have spoke with Lelio, and he answer's. For heaven sake Gentlemen stay your hands, help, help. Help Albumazar. Save me Albumazar. Only there's left a little breath to tell you. It's but one wound all over. Softly, o softly: y'haue lost the truest servant; Farewell I die. In earnest sir I took him for a Cheater; As many, under name of cunning men With promise of Astrology, much abuse The gaping vulgar, wronging that sacred skill, That in the Stars reads all our actions. No. For my master would conceive that counsel Sprung from my brains: and so should I repent it. Advise no more, but home and charge your people, That if Antonio come, they driven him thence With threatening words, and blows if needs be. Sir, pray take your leave, this to no end, IT will but increase your grief and hers. Indeed I wondered that your wary thriftiness Not wont to drop one penny in a quarter Idly, would partly with such a sum so easily. Why this is bravely feigned; continue sir. Fie sir, your passion fall's, cry louder, roar That all the Street may hear. Would, would, would: hold out, hold out; lay out a Lyons throat, A little louder. Fie, you'll spoil all. Now you outdo it. Say but a bowl or two. Better and better still. Believe me sir, He think's himself Antonio, and ever shall be, And so possess your Plate. Art not thou Trincalo My Masters Farmer? Knowest it not? In, and see: Antonio Hath given thee Armellina with a portion, Two hundredth Crowns: and old Pandolfo bound By oath assure thee twenty pounds a year, For three lives. Trincalo! Trincalo! Trincalo. Farewell. Prithee. But where's Pandolfo and Albumazar ? I fear the skill and cunning of Albumazar With his black Art, by whom Pandolfo seeks To compass Flaviam, spite of her brother Lelio, And his own son Eugenio that loves her dearly. I'll lose no time, but find them and reveal The plot and work to cross this accident. But Trincalo, art thou so rash and venturous To be transformed with hazard of thy life? Soon as Albumazar come's, loaded with news Of transmutation of your servant Trincalo, I'll entertain him here: mean while steal you Closely into the room, and quickly hide Some special piece of Plate: Then run out amazed, Roaring, that all the Street may know you're robbed. Next threaten-to attach him and accuse him Before a Justice, and in th'end agree, If he restore the Plate, you'll give the Chain, Otherwise not. Is he not wholly changed? what parts are wanting? good, good, thieves, What would you lost? What, in good earnest? You gull me sure. Oh wondrous pour of Stars, And skill of Art t'apply't. You that are married May justly fear, least this Astrologer Cloth your wives servants in your shape, and use you As Jupiter did Amphitrio : You that are rich, In your own form may lose your gold. Leave your set speeches. Go to Antonio's house, Effect your business. For upon my credit Th'art so well turned, they dare not but accept thee. You arrant Ass, have not I known thee serve My Master in his Farm this thirteen years? Sir hear's your Farmer Trincalo, transformed So joust, as he were melted, and new cast In the true mould of old Antonio. This tale th'Astrologer penned, and he hath cond it. Look Trincalo Yonder's your beauteous Mistress Armellina, And daughter Flaviam. Courage, I warrant thee. Sir, what amazement's this? why wonder you? Oh strange! th'are both here. No, feareit not: it's plain: Albumazar Hath cheated my old master of his plate. For here's the Farmer, as Like himself as ever; Only his clothes excepted. Trincalo! Yes, and as rank and Ass as ever he was. Th'art still thy self. Lelio, this Farmer's half a fool, half knave. And as Pandolfo did with much intreaty Persuade him to transform; so as much labour Will hardly bring the Coxcomb to himself, That never was out on't. Who art, if not he? Notorious clown! 'Tis but lost labour to dissuade his dulness, Believe me that's your father. To deal with him with reason and entreaties, Is to persuade a madman: for his love Makes him no less. All speeches opposite His fixed desire, and love-corrupted judgement, Seem extreme fooleries. Will he consent To give his daughter to your son, and you Deny him Flaviam ? Shall Eugenio Expect or land or love from old Pandolfo, Being his open rival? it's impossible. He sought to cousin you; therefore resolve To pay him in's own money. Be but advised By my poor counsel, and one stroke shall cut The root of his designs, and with his arrows Strike his own plot so dead, that Albumazar With all his stars and instruments, shall never Give it fresh motion. The ground of all this business, Is to catch Trincalo, and lock him fast Till I release him: next, that no man whisper Th'least word of your return. Then will I home, And with a cheerful look tell my old master, That Trincalo — but stay, look where he comes, Let's in, and there at leisure I'll inform you From point to point. Lelio, detain him here, Till I send Armellina down to second you. Cross him in nothing, call him Antonio, And good enough. Now Cricca, mask thy countenance in joy, Speak welcome language of good news, and move Thy Master, whose desires are credulous, To believe what thou givest him. If thy design Land at the Haven it's bound for; then Lelio, Eugenio, and their Mistress's, are obliged By oath, assure a state of forty pounds Upon thee for thy life. Where shall I find him? What we most seek, still flies us; what's avoided, Follows, or meets us full. I am embossed With trotting all the streets to find Pandolfo, And bless him with good news. Entered as owner in Antonio's house- Is acknowledged by his daughter Flaviam, And Lelio, for their father. And hath sent me in hast to bid you- Come with your son Eugenio. - That he may be a witness of your marriage. But sir, I see no signs of so large gladness As I expected, and this news deserved. I fly sir. Offend not your good luck, you're now more fortunate Then when you rose this morning: Be merry, sir, Cheer up your self, y'haue what you wished, fear nothing. Locked in Antonio's Closet. Antonio keeps the key: No creature enter's but himself. Al's safe And shall be so restored. And they that wronged you, most extremely sorry, Ready to yield you any satisfaction. I'll tell you, sir. Being joust now at old Antonio's house, One thunder's at th'back door, enters, and presses To speak in private with young Lelio ; Was instantly admitted: And think you who? 'Twas your Astrologer Albumazar. When he had spoke a while; Lelio and Antonio In hast command' me fetch a Constable. I up and down throw slimy Alehouses, Cloudy Tobacco-shops, and vapouring Taverns: My mouth full of enquiry; At last found one And following my directions, Went to a Tippling-house, where we took drinking Three handsome fellows with a great Chest; Attached them, And brought all to Antonio. Within this Chest Antonio found your Plate, Gold, Jewels, cloth of silver, nothing perished, But all safe locked till you acknowledge it. And since Albumazar of his own accord Freely confessed, and safe restored your treasure: Since it's a day of Jubilee and marriage; Antonio would entreat you to release And pardon the Astrologer: Thanking your fortune That hath restored you to your wealth, and self. Both which were lost i'th'foolish love of Flaviam.