HADDIT

Cousin Lightfoot how dost, welcome to the City, My name is Haddit Sir, and your kinesman, if parents may be trusted, and therefore you may please to know me bet ter, when you see me next. I am that spark Sir, though now raked up in ashes, Yet when it pleases Fortune's chops to blow Some gentler gale upon me, I may then, From forth of embers rise and shine again, Faith and so I am, exceeding much since you saw me last, about eight hundred pound a year; but let it pass, for pass sage carried away the most partly of it, a plague of fortune Oh no, if she be a woman, sheele ever love those that hate her, but cozen thou art thy father's firstborn, help me but to some means, and I'll redeem my mortgaged lands with a wench to boot. And so I hope they shall before his death, this daugh ter of his, did, and I think does loueme, but I then thinking my self worthy of and Empress, gave but slight respect unto her favour, for that her parentage seemed not to equal my high thoughts, puffed up, That being had wele to the Usurer where you shall of fer some slight piece of land to mortgage, and if you do it to bring our selves into cash, it shall be never the farther from you, for heres a project will not be frustrate of this purpose. Good speed attend my suit, heres a never seen Ne phewe kind in distress, this gives me more cause of admiration then the lose of xxxv. settings together at Passage. I when 'tis performed, but words and deeds are now more different then Puritans and Players. About the Jig, I promised him, my pen and ink, I prithee let him in, there may be some Cash rimed out of him. Well, good words do much, I cannot now be angry with you, but see henceforward, you do Like him that would please a new married wife, show your most at first, least some oh there come between you and your desires, for I protest had you not suddenly shown your good nature, another should have had it though t'ad been for nothing. No I'll pay for it rather, that may breed a mutiny in your whole house. By this light Coze, this suit does rarely: the taylor that made it, may happen to be saved, ant be but for his good works, I think I shall be proud of em, and so I was never yet of any clothes. Why to obtain a grant of the best thing she had, Chastity, Man 'tis not here, as 'tis with you in the Country, not to be had without father's and mother's good will, no, the City is a place of more traffic, where each one learns by example of their elders, to make the most of their own, either for profit or pleasure. Oh but Coze, Can a ship sail without water, had I had but such a suit as this, to set my self a float, I would not have ar'd sinking but come, no more of needs, now to the Usurer, and though all Hope's do fail, a man can want no living, So long as sweet desire reigns in women. By all means: and thus it shall be effected, when a comes in with beer, do you upon some slight occasion fallen out with him, and if you do give him a cuff or two, it will give him cause to knowy'are the more angry, then will I slip in and take up the matter, and striving to make you two friends, wele make him drunk. Why how now sirs, whats the matter. By this light but a shall not, why Cozen Lightfoot. My young Lord, God save you. True my Lords, and whats common, ought not much to be dealt with all: but I must desire your help my Lord to end a Controversy here, between this gentleman my friend, and honest Peter, who I dare besworne is as ignorant as your Lord ship. Why then my Lord if it please you, let me, being your inferior, decree the cause between them. Then thus I will propound a reasonable motion; how many cuffs Peter did this gent. out of his fury make thee partam ker of? By Lady, and was to be feared; but come my Lord wele hear the rest in the seller. And honest Peter thou that hast been grieved, My Lord and I, will see thee well relieved. Now Mr. Parson we will no further trouble you, and for the tying of our true love knot, heres a small amends. It's true indeed, good morrow honest Parson. Why then to me sir John. Nay be not grieved, for that which should rather give you cause of content, for it'll be a means to make him aban done his avarice, and save a soul almost incurable: but now to our own affairs, this marriage of ours must not yet be known least it breed suspicion, we will bring you Rebeck a unto Atlas his house, whilst we two go unto the old Lord Wealthies, having some acquaintance with his son in law Carracus, who I un derstand is there, where no question but we shall find your fa there proclaiming his lose, thither you shall come some what after us, as it were to seek him, where I doubt not but so to or der the matter, that I will receive you as my wife, from his own hands. 'Tis true, his Castle of Addamant would scarce hold him: but come this will be good cause for laughter hereafter. Then wele relate how this great bird was pulled, Of his rich feathers, and most finely gulled. Marry thus, Hog the Usurer hath one only daughter. Thanks good Coze, the means shall not be great, on lie that I may first be clad in a generous outside, for that is the chief attraction, that draws female affection; good parts without any abilements of gallantry, are no more set by in these times, then a good leg in a Woollen stocken: No, 'tis a glistering presence and audacity brings women into fools felicity. You must then pardon me, good M. Chaunge-coate, for I protest vntee it is so much my often converse, that if there be none but women in my company, yet cannot I forbear it. A small matter, yowl find it worth Meg of West minster, althouh it be but a bore Jig. Garlic stinks to this, prove that you have not more whores to see this, then ere Garlic had. say I am a boaster of mine own works, disgrace me on the open stage, and bob me off with never a penny. Marry that which is full as forceable as Garlic, the name of it is who buys my four ropes of hard Onions, by which four ropes is meant four several kind of livers, by the onions hangers on, as at some convenient time I will more par ticularly inform you in so rare a hidden and obscure a mystery. Oh never fear it, for what I have writ is both witty to the wise, and pleasing to the ignorant; for you shall have these laugh at it far more heartily that understand it not, then those that do. Oh no, sing it but in tune, and I dare warrant you. Fie no, the dismembering of a rhyme to bring in reason shows the more efficacy in the writer. So I believe, Why M. Change-coat, I do not suppose we shall differ many pounds, pray make your offer, if you give me too much, I will most Doctor of Phicke Like restoare. How M. Change-coat a brace of angels beside much drink of free cost if it be liked, I fear you have learned it by heart, if you have powdered up my plot in your sconce, you may home sir and instruct your Poet over a pot of ale, the whole me thode on't, but if you do so juggle, look too't Shrouetuseday is at hand, and I have some acquaintance with Bricklayers and Playsterers. Nay before all others, and shotly expect a notable piece of matter such a Jig whose tune with the natural whistle of a carman, shall be more ravishing to the ears of shopkeepers then a whole consort of barbors at midnight. Well Master change coat you shall now leave me, for I'll to my study, the morning hours are precious and my muse meditates most upon and empty stomach. I'll sooner forget to be a Jig maker. You and to advance my down fallen Fortune's Atlas. No nor is it in man to conjecture rightly the thought by the tongue. I had not needed it. If I do Atlas be it so, I'll ene go write this rhyme over my beds head. Ʋ ndone by folly, fortune lend me more, Canst thou, and wilt not, pox on such a where, And so isle set up my rest, but see Atlas heres a little of that that dambs Lawyers, take it in partly of a further recompense. Why if you will you may, but the surmounting of my Fortune's is as much to be doubted, as he whose estate lies in the lottery, desperate. Yes cheating, theft, and pandarising, or may be flattery, I have maintained some of them my self, but come hast aught to breakfast. There Can ̄ not be a sweeter dish, it has Cost money the dres sing. True, but in my opinion, pride might as well be por trayed in any other shape, as to seem to be and affector of Gall lantry, being the causes thereof are so several and diverse, as some are proud of their strength, although that pride cost them the lose of a limb or two, by over-daring, likewise some are proud of their humour, although in that humour, they be often knocked for being so, some are proud of their drink, although that liquid operation, cause them to wear a night cap 3. weeks after, some are proud of their good parts, although they never put them to better uses, then the enjoying of a common strum pets company, and are only made proud by the favour of a wai ting woman, others are proud — Why now presently, and if I do not accomplish my pro iects to a wished end, I wish my Fortune's may be Like some scra ping tradesman, that never embraceth true pleasure, till he be threescore and ten. Why say she were, nay more, married to another, I would be near the further of them effecting of my intents, no Coze, I partly know her inward disposition, and did I but only know her to be woman kind, I think it were sufficient. Nay pree thee do not think so, if I do not marry thee this instant night, may I never enjoy breath a minute after; by heaven I respect not his pelf, thus much, but only that I may have wherewith to maintain thee. Think ill of thee, can the world pity him, that never pitied any, beside since their is no end of his goods, nor begin ning of his goodness; had not we as good share his dross in his life time, as let Controversy and Lawyers devour it ats death? Why joust at midnight, for then our apparition will will seem most fearful, yowl make away that we may ascend up Like spirits? Faith none, but my cousin Lightfoot and a player. O exceeding well, wele give him a speech a under stands not, but now I think out, whats to be done with your Father's man Peter? Till when, let this outward ceremony, be the true pledge of our inward affections. So, this goes better forward then the Plantation in Virginia: but see here comes half the west Indies, whose rich mines this night I mean to be ransacking Indeed by that we may know what we steal without labour, for the telling ont over; how now gent. are you agreed v Pon the price of this earth and clay. We shall be bold no doubt, and that old penny-father yowl confess by to morrow morning. All which were bestowed upon you for beginning first Peter. Why then here the sentence of your suffering, you shall both down into Master Hogs seller Peter, and whereas you began first to him, so shall he there to you, and as he gave you three cuffs, so shall you retort of in defiance of him, three black Jacks, which if he deny to pledge; then the glory is thine, and he accounted by the wise discretion of my Lord here a flincher. Were you so lately with any my Lord? Oh by no means, I pree thee friend, good-morrow. A most fine Vicar, there was no other means to be rid of him: but why are you so sad Rebecka? My kind acquaintance. Joy to thy good success. What exclamations that? Robbed, by whom or how? The fear of hell oretake them whatsoever they be: but where your daughter, I hope she is safe. Oh heavy accident, but see you grieve too much, Being your daughter's found, for th'other lose; Since 'tis the will of heaven to give and take, Valve it as nothing, you have yet sufficient To live in blessed content, had you no more But my small mortgage for your daughter here; Whom I have ever loved in dearest affection, If so you please so much to favour me, I will accept her spite of poverty, And make her jointure of some store of land, Which by the lose of a good aged friend Late fell to me, what is't a match or no. We three are happy we have gained much wealth, And though we have done it by a trick of stealth, Yet all I trust are pleased, and will our ill acquit, Since it hath saved a soul was hells by right. No but with as bade a weed, vain glory. And yet you would not once believe it, as if a females favour could not be obtained by any, but he that wears the Cap of maintenance. When 'ts nothing but acquaintance and a bold spirit, That may the chiefest prize amongst all of them inherit, Oh chiefly now sir for) aurora musis amicat )