CHAT

¶ Who have we there makes such a din: ¶ What diccon? come never, you be no stranger, We be fast set at trump man, hard by the fire, Thou shalt set on the king, if thou come a little nyer. ¶Come hither Dol, Dol, fit down and play this game, And as thou sawest me do, see thou do even the same There is 5. trumps beside the Queen, y e hindmost y u shalt find her Take heed of Sim glovers wife, she hath and eye behind her, Now Diccon say your will. ¶ Gogs foul her Cock with the yellow legs, y e nightly crowed so joust? ¶ What was he fetched out of the hens-rust? ¶ Have I strong hoore? by bred and salt. ¶ By the mass that I will, I will have the young hoar by the head, & the old trot by y e throat ¶ Shall such a begars brawl as y e thinkest y u make me a thief The pocks light on her hores sides, a pestilence & a mischief Come out thou hungry needy bytche, oh that my nails be short. ¶ Would you suffer your self diccon, such a sort, to revile you With slanderous words to blot your name, & so to defile you? ¶ Do gracious God my heart is bursts. Di con and drink, what Doll I say Bring here a cup of the best ale, lets see, come quicly a way. ¶ Why art thou crept from ̄ home hither, to mine own doors to chide me: Hence doting drab, avant, or I shall set the further. Intends thou and that nam e, me in my house to murder: ¶ Give thee thy right, and hang thee up, w to all thy baggers brood What wilt thou make me a thief and say I stole thy good: ¶ Did I (old witch) steal oft was thine: (how should that thing be known: ¶ A vengeance on those lips y to layeth such things to my charge. ¶ Come out Hog. ¶ Thou arrant Witch. ¶ A bag and a wallet. ¶ Why wenest thou thus to prevail, I hold thee a groat, I shall patch thy coat. ¶ How shald thou bald, thou ro ten, y u glutton, I will no longer chyd the But I will teach the to keep home. ¶ I trow drab I shall dress thee. Tarry y u knave I hold the a gr to, I shall make these hands bless thee Take y this old hoar for a mends, & learn thy tongue well to tame And say thou met at this bickering, not thy fellow but thy dame. ¶ Art here again thou hoddy peke, what doll bring me out my spit. ¶ Stand to it y u astard for thine ears, ise teach y a fluttish toy. ¶ I faith sir lose breche had you tarried, you should have found your match. ¶ Comest behind me thou withered witch, & I get once on foot Thouse pay for all, y u ol tar leather, isle teach the what longs to it Take y to this to make up thy mouth, till time thou come by more ¶ God deuen my friend Diccon, whither walk you this pace? ¶ Oh yes diccon, here the old hoore, & hodge that great knave. But in faith I would thou hadst seen, oh lord I dressed them brane She bore me two or three souses behind in the nape of the neck Till I made his old wesen, to answer again kecke: And Hodge that dirty dastard, that at his elbow stands, I one pair of legs had not be worth two pair of hands He had had his beard shaven, if my nails would have served And not without a cause for the knave it well deserved. ¶ And him Di con, it would have made y beshite the For laughter. The ast caught up a club, As though he would have slain the master devil Belsabub, But I set him soon in word. ¶ Why? makes the knave any moiling, as you have seen or hard ¶ Yes by the mass, a hold broke down, even w to in these ii. days. ¶ Oh christ that I were sure of it, in faith he should have his mede. ¶ I am as glad as a woman can be of this thing to here tell By gogs bones when he continued ̄ meth, now that I know the matter He shall sure at the first skip, to leap in scalding water: Wish a worse turn beside when he will, let him come. ¶That I would have murdered him, fie on him wretch, And evil might be thee for it our Lord I bese ̄ changed. I will swear on all the books that opens and shuttes fai eth this tale out of his own guts, For this seven weeks with me, I am sure he sat not down, Nay you have other minions, in the other end of the town, Where you were Like to Can changed such a blow, hen any where else, as far as I know. ¶ Nay how provest thou that I did the ¶ Because thy head is broken, was it I that it broke? I saw thee Rat I tell thee, not once within this fortnight, ¶ Yes by my faith master Baily, there was a knave not far Who caught one good Philup on the brow, with a door bar And well was he worthy, as it seemed to me, But what is that to this man, since this was not he. ¶No marry was it not indeed you shall here by this one thing, This after noon a from ̄ worser of mine, for good will gave we warning And bade more well look to my rust, and all my Capo S pens, For if I ke not better heed, a knave would have my hens, Then I to save my goods took so much pains as him to watch And as good fortune served me, it was my chau ̄ ce him ̄ for to catch What strokes he bore away, or other what was his gains I wot not, but sure I am, he had something for his pains ¶ I know it but what than. It was that cra ty cullyon Hodge my gammer gurtons man. ¶ Was he not there look on his pate, that shall be his witness. ¶A theenisher knave is not on live, more filching nor more false Many a truer man then he, would e hanged up by the half. And thou his dame of all his theft, thou art the sole receiver For hodge to catch, and thou to keep, I never knew none better ¶ Master baily, sir you be not such a fool well I know, But you perceive by this lingering, there is a pad in the straw. Thinking that Hodg, his head was broke, and that gammer Would not let him come before them. ¶ Thou shit ̄ knave I trow y u knowest y e full way ht of my fist I am foully deceived, unless thy head & my worser over bar kyste ¶ Well knave, & I had the alone, I rely rap that costard. ¶ By gogs blessed, how ever the thing he clocks or smolders, I know the blows he ba e away, either w to head or shoulders, Camest y u not knave within this hour, creeping into my pens And there was caught within my house, gropi ̄ g among my hens. ¶ Have I thy good old filth, or any such old owes? I am as true, I would thou knew, as skin between thy brows ¶ Thy needle old witch, how so? it were all nes thy scul to knock So didst thou say, the other day, that I had stolen thy Cock And roasted him to my breakfast, which shall not be forgotten, The devil pull out thy lying tonge, and teeth that be so rotten. ¶ Yea but that ragged colt, that whore that tyb of thine Said plainly thy cock was stolen, & in my house was eaten, That lying cut is lost, that she is not swinged and beaten, And yet for all my good name, it were a small amends I pick not this gear (hearst thou) out of my finger nde But he that hard it told me, who thou of late didst name Diccon whom all men knows, it was the very same. ¶ Will I oh si will I not. ¶ Though some be lies as you belike have espied them. Yet other some be true, by proof I have well tried them. ¶ Marry sir even this, The tale I told before, the self same tale it was his, He gave me Like a friend, warning against my lo e, Else had my hens be stolen, eke one, by Gods cross: He told me Hodge would come, and in he came indeed, But as the matter chauns worser, with greater hast then speed, This truth was said, and true was found, as truly I report. ¶Yes by the mass, & if he came, bade me not stick to spit him. ¶ Fie on the villain, fie, fie, y to makes us thus agree, ¶ Come knave, it were a good deed to geld the by cocks bones Seest not thy handiwarke sir Rat can you forbear him? ¶ Say yea master vicar, & he shall sure confess to be your dotter And all we that be hear present, will love you much the better ¶ By my troth Go py gurton, I am even as glad As though I mine own self as good a turn had: ¶ Gogs bred that will I do, As secret as mine own thought, by God and the devil two. ¶ beware her to rot , I can abide no longer In old witch it shall be seen, which of us two be stronger Diccon but at your request, I would not stay one hour, ¶ Marry fie on thee, thou old gyb, with all my very heart. ¶ The knave dare as well go hang himself, as go upon my grou ̄ worser ¶ What would e I stolen from ̄ the or thine: thou ilfauored old trot. ¶ Thou shalt answer by gods pity, for this thy foul slander. ¶Go to then, what is your rede: say on your mind, (you shall m e rule herein. ¶ at ma , will you say I broke your head? ¶ Thou or the devil in thy ote, swear this I dare be bold. ¶ Who it was a false thief, That came Like a false Before, my ull I e to kill and mischief. ¶ Yea master Baily, blessed be ever good token.